Sabth

Let's say , if I was the most knowledgeable person on earth, as of right now, what will I do? This is what I'll do : First of all, my eye is really in pain. My eyesight is getting worse. So I have to take care of that. But I couldn't get my eyes off of my phone. Because that's the only thing I could do. I'm capable to do. I don't have any other things to do. Let's say if I'm the most knowledgeable person right now, I will, First, shower. Two, pray. Three, getting to my phone. (I won't get off of my phone until I get all my needs met) I may have to work using my phone or the computer. Four, trying to get $24.5k. I need to work to get that amount. So that I could buy a $15.5k car, and to get my freedom everyday. I wouldn't cut any trees in fact I would plant more. Whoever that is that cut down the trees in my city is truly a bad person. It is a big mistake. They can trim it but they cut it all. All the trees that is the beauty of this city. It's all barren and gone. Only GOD knows what I'll do with my $24.5k.

I feel like my brain is getting rusty now. It might be an irreversible damage. I don't know. Even my words are no longer comprehensible. I guess..

I wanna stay out of this all.

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Too many mosquitos outside. I was attacked ....

Now I'm feeling a little lonely. I'm at home alone with nothing to do. It's 3:45PM. My mom would be coming back here tomorrow after 1200am. Tonight. So idk. I'm currently alone. I feel bad about the bombing. I had a telegram update that I look to. It was still on going. And of course it's still ongoing. I don't wanna talk about it or bring it up. Right now, I just wish I have something to do. I'm bored. I already eat. Doing several things. Huh?

Today, this morning, my father is gone. He will be away for a few days. So I will have to feed the cat outside. And my mom will be back tonight. So I'll be alone for now. Totally alone. My sister are at her in-laws. But I'm okay. I wish I can go shopping today. But there's no one to bring me shopping.

I don't sleep today because I already woke up late yesterday.. 5:15AM

To have a social circle is to be held accountable.

https://youtu.be/tVtTdZt-HtI?si=3bXtWV1FLO45vg76

Day 3 Today I woke up really late (12:00) and I have a special dinner tonight. It's been a while since I taste such cooking. It reminds me of the cook of my university's restaurant. It is rare. So rare. And it reminds me of this taste all over again. I am overjoyed. Other than that, I really don't do anything much on day 3. I just stayed in my room and looking at my phone. I already woke up late. Not doing anything much throughout the day. And tomorrow, my mom will be back. I think I wanna go shopping with her.

@LoneWonderer first of all, my expenses are very basic. And it was from my mom or my father. But I don't have my own income. That's why I wanna work.

Thanks. I wonder what will be my future job. My money had been constant for long. Nothings changes.

Japan winter. https://youtu.be/QytjUFgcmWw?si=DofKQtXNe0nvySY1 https://youtu.be/flcGCCL5gHU?si=g5ByDj9DrYkNjtjd Maybe going to Japan would be better. It's nearer too. I would have to take 4flight from my place to Yamagata (Japan). The cost would be $1448 for 3flight (return). It's more expensive than if I want to go to Egypt. Egypt is $816.

What does it means , when I see in my dream , a lot of pigeons are being hit by a sword? Each pigeon will get one sword cut through it's body. And there's a lot of it. And a lot of pigeons dies. Idk what this dream means.

https://youtu.be/fb0QX7DbqLg?si=JVkfJ9UishJK-j7E This would be my dream. To have a snowy weather. In New York City. With the people I love. This had been my dream. I've never felt snow in my life. ❄️

When I didn't know what to do, I'll sleep. And that's what I'm doing today.

Today is day 2 and unlike yesterday, my sister/my father cooked. Fried chicken. I dream of many pigeons being killed.

12:58PM | Day 2 | Wed | 25th Oct 2023 Don't Have Anything To Do At home. I'm really feeling afraid of my life now. I need to get myself together. Right now. Soon. As soon as possible.

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24 October 2023, Tue One day went by with nothings much that I'm doing. I just woke up. My father bought me two meals in a day asking for dinner but I'm too full from the two earlier meal. I don't do nothing today. Just woke up, on my phone, eat, and that's only it. I only stayed in my room. I really had nothing to do. Well, at least , a day has passed by. I don't know what to do. I really wanna change my life. But couldn't. I'm stuck. My life is stuck. I couldn't work. I couldn't get my education. Or improve my education. I'm neither married nor getting a child. There's so much that I can do without money/an earning. All the things that I wanna do would need money. That's my dead end tonight.

Will my life be bad and worser from now on?

I started off quite well but right now, I just have nothing. I don't have work, I don't have friends, I don't have education, I don't have A car and anything to do. I am basically alone at home. I have a father. I have a mother. And a sister. But that's only it. We're not doing anything.

This is for my first snow experience. (Though in it I have included Egypt too in it. ) It will be closed in next year. Though I don't know if I'm working and get my own money, it will get a faster results or doing this. I'm just trying. I don't know if it will be successful even. Or why I'm even doing this.

I feel like I'm starting a new journal?. . ??Things I wanna tell my brother. I used to lock everything with a small lock ever since I was a child. In a small luggage (and then big). It was only a few years back when I've loosen my guard and leave it unlock (because I'm home anyway.) So I was with it unlocked. For however long it might be (I felt safe and complacent..) having it all beside me in my room. For the longest time I leave it unlocked. I'd never would hv guessed I would leave home. Or that anyone would take it after a long time into my old age. (Those things are old. Things that I've kept as a child.) Diaries.. drawings, and things that I've kept in a files. Now it's gone. .. I used to keep it all locked in a luggage. Guess I need to do that even when I'm old. Things I would missed a lot would be something I've written in 2016.. there are a few books like that. I will miss it a lot.