Sabth

I can't pretend like nothings happened. I wanna be a journalist. Or being there. Just to make things better.

I can't sleep last night knowing that there are some kids being murdered somewhere in the world. While I'm sleeping, they are in that darkness and fears. Into the night. I feel like I've done wrong. I wanna go to Palestine. At least I am with them. I don't enjoy good things or normal life. As long as I'm not dead. I want to be there.

I'm also Asian. And Egyptian. So all of Asia is mine. Room Renovation 🖼️⚜️ I wanna create a wall like this : And add a lot of figurines like this : (or maybe one) I don't know how well it will suit my room but I'm gonna try. I dont know if I could find this type of wallpaper. And another thing is, I don't which room I wanna take. This room or the other next room. I haven't decided yet. I want the other room (the bigger room) but I wanna get rid of the massive huge wardrobe. Only then, I will take that room. But so far, I haven't done anything it's hard to move it around because it's too big. And I don't know where to put it. It can't be in this smaller room. I had to sell it. Maybe. Just thinking about this is too much. And I would have to renovate that room. Because it had been spoilt its orientation had been spoiled from the previous renovation. So it needs more renovation. This room that I'm currently in, this smaller room, everything are fine. But that's it. It's smaller. And it wasn't my original room. If I wanna do this makeover I want it to be a good permanent room of my own.

I stand with Islam. The last religion on earth.

I search for a flight going to Palestine but it shows a flight to Tyler(?) United States instead. Somewhere in Dallas. So idk what's going on. Palestine would be nearer and this flight is 7h+16h.

I really don't know what to do now.

Am I a burden to my family? I don't like dreaming about my direct family members. Somehow I don't like it. In that dream, I was preparing for a.. attending a national independence day in school. And the way that I pack stuff, it is just not alright. I had a broken flag. And I was looking for another stick for my flag. And then the flag was nonsense. I can't remember it clearly but it wasn't the flag of any states. It was , there's a random words and sentences on it I can't remember. And mine was broken. And I'm looking for a good stick. This dream is just not good. I woke up, and give the cat food. And now I'm on a mission, to create money.

5:08AM One and two done. Let's see number three. Okay I'm doing number three now let's do number four.

Among all the things that I've written , I haven't even get to one , shower. I have only removed my make up. And it's already 1:04AM. I am so sleepy right now. I think I will sleep a little then shower and pray. Inshallah.

My mom has come back 🎊yay . My sister too~ but today , everyone are female. There's no male at home. My father and my brother in law are not at home. So it's all ladies...

I got that in windows explorer. But no problem in Google. But I had to log in , otherwise I couldn't get to the forum.

"Only GOD knows what I'll do." I'm thinking of becoming a film maker. A videographer. A photographer. I will do my own thing. That's what I'll do with my $24k. Idk if skating would be a good sport for me, but that's what I'll do. That's what the car is for. And a portion of that $24k is for. I want it to be a daily things/routine. I want to buy a new skate regardless. And safety gears. I fall in 2016 and ever since, I had been traumatized &careful. I don't wanna skate without a safety gears any longer. But I haven't bought it. So I never skate. Never really skate. Idk if I will do well in my new skate. (the ones that I had now is big and bulky) I wish to buy a slimmer one. And lighter. Idk if I will do well. But I'll try. Let's see. If I skate more. If it's lighter. Then I want to be a runner. To lose my weight.

I will get married with a good looking guy. I will.... Idk. I feel like my beauty is degrading now, so I wanna enjoy it as much as possible while I'm (a little) young? Though I'm not as I am twenty two years old, but I'm not thirty three either. So yeah. I want to have the best toned body ever. I want to lose weight. Seven, I want to lose weight. Eight, There was time when I think like I may want to sacrifice my prayer for something more valuable. I may think of this. Sometimes. Like at one point this year, it felt like a heavy burden/a chore. To keep doing it. While not getting anything. And I might miss something great. At the cost of something great. So I thought I may wanna skip it. Idk. Not now though. You need like a great timing. Only at a certain time. When this had becomes very outdated. At one point. (But I never did). The same would be in my appearance. Because I'm old now. I can do according to my comfort. And wellness. Whatever that is most well for me. I'd do that. If it means covering all then I would do. It's really is depending on my benefits. Whatever suites me best. At a given moment. Because I'm old now. Really old. I'd do what I'm comfortable in.. and I had been admitted into the mental hospital too, so whatever Id do now wouldn't be accounted.

Let's say , if I was the most knowledgeable person on earth, as of right now, what will I do? This is what I'll do : First of all, my eye is really in pain. My eyesight is getting worse. So I have to take care of that. But I couldn't get my eyes off of my phone. Because that's the only thing I could do. I'm capable to do. I don't have any other things to do. Let's say if I'm the most knowledgeable person right now, I will, First, shower. Two, pray. Three, getting to my phone. (I won't get off of my phone until I get all my needs met) I may have to work using my phone or the computer. Four, trying to get $24.5k. I need to work to get that amount. So that I could buy a $15.5k car, and to get my freedom everyday. I wouldn't cut any trees in fact I would plant more. Whoever that is that cut down the trees in my city is truly a bad person. It is a big mistake. They can trim it but they cut it all. All the trees that is the beauty of this city. It's all barren and gone. Only GOD knows what I'll do with my $24.5k.

I feel like my brain is getting rusty now. It might be an irreversible damage. I don't know. Even my words are no longer comprehensible. I guess..

I wanna stay out of this all.

.

Too many mosquitos outside. I was attacked ....

Now I'm feeling a little lonely. I'm at home alone with nothing to do. It's 3:45PM. My mom would be coming back here tomorrow after 1200am. Tonight. So idk. I'm currently alone. I feel bad about the bombing. I had a telegram update that I look to. It was still on going. And of course it's still ongoing. I don't wanna talk about it or bring it up. Right now, I just wish I have something to do. I'm bored. I already eat. Doing several things. Huh?

Today, this morning, my father is gone. He will be away for a few days. So I will have to feed the cat outside. And my mom will be back tonight. So I'll be alone for now. Totally alone. My sister are at her in-laws. But I'm okay. I wish I can go shopping today. But there's no one to bring me shopping.

I don't sleep today because I already woke up late yesterday.. 5:15AM

To have a social circle is to be held accountable.

https://youtu.be/tVtTdZt-HtI?si=3bXtWV1FLO45vg76

Day 3 Today I woke up really late (12:00) and I have a special dinner tonight. It's been a while since I taste such cooking. It reminds me of the cook of my university's restaurant. It is rare. So rare. And it reminds me of this taste all over again. I am overjoyed. Other than that, I really don't do anything much on day 3. I just stayed in my room and looking at my phone. I already woke up late. Not doing anything much throughout the day. And tomorrow, my mom will be back. I think I wanna go shopping with her.

@LoneWonderer first of all, my expenses are very basic. And it was from my mom or my father. But I don't have my own income. That's why I wanna work.