Sabth

Idk why I bought back this thing it makes my room darker/uglier. It felt like a foreign thing to me. And I feel like I can never achieved what I want. It will be nothing. Just a picture. But while I'm at it, might as well just do it~ ....

Dream will just be dreams. What is the use of dream board if you can't achieve your dreams?

I just feel like I am stuck. I didn't know how to make money. And usually, in the past, Im just stuck at home.

I'd rather go to Egypt than renovating my room. Maybe that is happiness. Well, who knows.. going back to my home.

I wonder if it would be more fun if I have a child.

This is not quite like the ones I wanted. I want a maroon wallpaper. I wonder what will make me happy. I feel tired and old going and doing all these. I don't know..

I think I'm old. I wonder, what things will give me ultimate happiness. I feel old. I found no joy in going to mall. Or maybe it is just this one. But I feel old. I wonder if I will ever be happy.

I actually like the smell of my room after the smoke had finished...

It's good actually.. after the smoke is finished, you're left with this fragrance. Turn the air conditioner on. And you'll get this soothing smell.

My room smelt like India or Arab shop.

What would be the first step for me to go in the right direction? I'm twenty seven and can't wait to work. I'm feeling too sick now of my life. Too bored. Too bad. I wanna go in the right direction.

I like bukhoor better. This is an incense stick that my mom bought a few days ago. I think it's too smokey so I don't like it. I like bukhoor better. I like my perfumes better anyway. Rather than these smokey things..

The first thing that the cat did when I open the cage was, eat the grass. And one small cat died yesterday. The other three newborn baby has been brought out of the box by it's mom. I think they are getting bigger now.

I dream that I was on a horse, or holding a horse tied to me. At my neighbour's road. Then we're on vacation. Idk how it was but we have a voucher and stuff. It's quite a weird dream.

One time, it was our house. And I thought it was a meteor.

A person just bomb my neighbour's garage ... 1:20AM

Of course I am not satisfied with my current life I feel like I am stuck somehow. Like I couldn't do anything. While I don't wanna get married yet, I do wanna get married after I've done a one or two project. A video project that I made on my own to it's completion. This is my dream. But to start it I will need a lot of money, which I hadn't even had the chance to make. So I don't know. I want to have a child soon too. But not until I've done these things.

Look at me : Do I look like a disabled person? @DianaFr Maybe it was my personality? My social aspect? The way I move my body? Idk. I hope not.

@DianaFr you're not the first person to bring up "disability" . My "doctor" said she's going to give me a disability card so that I could get a money from the government when I told her that I'm not working for weeks upon weeks (of appointment) but I'm not a disabled person. After she asked me my age and that I'm living with my parents. She suggest me that I apply for the disability card. But I got offended instead. (I'm not disabled) ~~

I think my city is dealing with overpopulation. There's so many people at night, when it used to be lesser back then. I kinda feel suffocated nowadays. To be outside at night. It used to be a lot calmer at night. I think I want to move to a different place. A place where I could feel at ease driving. But idk. I'm not good at it. Or rather , I haven't try. I want a place where I had total freedom.

I love this wine colour so much.

If you asked me what I did in 2021 it was this song : https://youtu.be/tQ0yjYUFKAE?si=VBhL1iUHeSoiKOH4 But I know it from all the covers from countless Asian artists. This is actually the first time that I'm listening to the original MV. From JB. Otherwise, I only listened to Asian covers of this song. It was really famous back then. Trendy. All over the place. With many versions. https://youtu.be/B03GDzf0Jk4?feature=shared So I know all of these versions that rendered this song different 😄 https://youtu.be/vn0WylayFxk?si=u3aAuukxy4OsssNs

I can't pretend like nothings happened. I wanna be a journalist. Or being there. Just to make things better.

I can't sleep last night knowing that there are some kids being murdered somewhere in the world. While I'm sleeping, they are in that darkness and fears. Into the night. I feel like I've done wrong. I wanna go to Palestine. At least I am with them. I don't enjoy good things or normal life. As long as I'm not dead. I want to be there.