Sabth

I'm so tired rn. 10:33PM.

I can't wait to go back .

I don't know. Tomorrow we are already going back. Today we go shopping and the beach. And we gathered for the last time. Tonight we are all here. In this space. Tomorrow we will be back. I don't know. I wanna shop in x.

I don't know. But I have always listened to music since I was young. I wonder what it would be like life without music. There must be no distraction. Since I was young, I have watch movies and dramas and listened to music. I love arts I create drawings and I write a lot. What if I don't have all these? If I don't listen to music and don't watch movies? What would my life be like? I like "where u at" , and all sorts of songs. I started young. 14? Up until 18-23 - forever after, I listened to music. And back then there was just so much good music that I listened to. My life is like a movie. I listened to music while walking and going to classes and everything. I really do enjoy music. I don't talk or speak a lot. My life is music. But I respect others I will listen to it using my earphone. Now I wonder if I don't listen to music will I do well in my life? Will I be able to focus on myself more? Will there be less distraction? Idk.

Today my brother got married. I don't know. They are younger than me. Sometimes I feel like love is hopeless at this age. I no longer fall in love. It seems impossible for me to be in love. Or to like anyone. To be in a state of love. I am old. I can't imagine love being good at this age. I don't know.

But I wish I can shop here in Kuala Lumpur.

It feels like it is impossible to find love these days /nowadays . Idk. It just seems like love is easier when I was younger. When my mind was still not filled. I had a lot of love back then. But now, I'm way too experienced in life. The way that I no longer feel enjoyment going to the mall. Idk.

Ah. It's good to be home

It was so hot wearing these 2:21PM

I am so hot in these clothes.

I am so fucked.

12:33PM I am so fucked up. I am soo cooked.

I don't need therapist . And I don't need to work. I just need to resume studying.

I wanna master socially , and educationally. Then financially. There is no way escaping it.

I don't have training. I can't just work any job. FIRST , what job is suitable for me? I'm not a man, and I may not be charismatic. I need to know what job I would be fitted to do.. I was training to be an architect before, but I didn't complete it. So,

If there is no afterlife then this life is the greatest thing that could ever happened to you. So you should live your best life. You should live this life the fullest because it is all there is. Before you died.

I am so bored with life right now. I think it was my house which are the problem. I think I need a new house. And a new comfortable bed. I can't with what's mine now. Where do I wanna live? I think Kuala Lumpur would be fine. With a lot of activities. I think if I could find somewhere to skate (a lot /everyday) that would be even better. But how. Where do I start ? Kyaa I can't wait for a new life. Then when I have become bored I can move out all back to my home . But idk.

I always sleep better somewhere else than at home..

If only I was rich. I want to shop a lot.

I have finally arrived at my destination. Can't believe that I've endured it. 12 hours journey. Now I'm finally here in a homestay somewhere. I went out of the house exactly 12 hours ago.

I wish I can learn from people who have their life together.

I feel really weird right now. I want freedom. Today I feel really weird. I used to be so different. I know and I hope so. But you don't know me. The place that I'm living in. I feel really weird right now. I haven't been out for long. And now I'm travelling. I don't know. Seeing other people well put together. I feel like I wanna be free. I don't have a normal life. I want to be normal. I want to be free. That's all I'm thinking. I want to be able to wear comfortably. As I wishes. Like back then, I was so free. I hate long travelling. I wish I can stay in one place forever and find my "home". My permanent home. That are only ideal. That have no cons whatsoever. That are only good. I wish for such a place. I get bored in my place right now. And the place that I'm going to right now, I don't know if it will be good long term. Is it a good "home"? No I don't think so. But I can't think of any best place.