Dear Inder,
I have a very similar condition since 2015. It started after an intense LSD + MDMA trip and the pain has been with me ever since.
I also went through various medical check ups but they never found anything. The pain and pressure come in waves and it gets heavier when I am stressed or due to other negative external and internal factors. It ranges from mild pressure feelings above the solar plexus to panic-attack-inducing pain levels. I had times when it was so severe it gave me suicidal thoughts. It feels like a knife slowly being pushed from the inside of my chest outwards. Before this, I was quite stable and I could have never imagined the levels of emotional pain I went through the last 8 years.
My explanation right now is that I activated my pain body entirely (not just one specific trauma). Over the years I worked through various traumas and emotional issues which always gave me some temporary relief. But it seems like there is always more. It seems that my heart chakra opened completely and the entire pain I had stored in my emotional body came to the surface and has stayed there ever since.
One shift in perspective that really helped me live with the pain is the following: I was so stuck and emotionally closed off that I subconsciously forced myself to break open and bring it all up. Since then I have been forced to work with the pain through various forms of therapy, meditation, yoga, breathwork, and also psychedelic medicine. It immensely accelerated my personal, emotional and spiritual growth. The pain also does not allow me to indulge in any form of unhealthy behavior. It made me stop drinking, smoking and taking drugs entirely. It made me very sensitive to any kinds of stressors in my life (work stress, relationship problems, family issues...). It's like an unforgiving and ruthless compass, only allowing me to walk on a narrow path. If I stray away from it, the pain becomes unbearable.
So in a sense, I have a lot of gratitude for what happened and the path it led me on. But a part of me is also tired of being in constant pain. I almost forgot how it feels like to be pain-free. I also worry that it might take a toll on my health over the years, having the sympathetic nervous system active most of the time is definitely not healthy in the long run.
I have never met anyone or heard of anyone with a similar condition so it really caught my attention when I read your post.
Feel free to shoot me a DM to connect further. I would be happy to discuss our shared experience and maybe support each other on this journey.
