TheWind

Would you be something to be liberated from ? Or that which needs to be liberated ?

I’ve found a-lot of motivation in the pursuit of a intuitive notion of spiritual freedom without ever having a full grasp or full understanding of it. It has acted as a beacon towards deeper and deeper insights towards reality. And as I purse it I do feel more free. But I wonder am I moving towards a particular ‘experience’ ? Or am I just moving towards an unending direction that is just more free? What is the truth?

The self letting go of itself has been an interesting function. The letting go usually begins inside of the self then extends outside of the self and beyond the self. Which implies the letting go was never truly a function of the self. Then the letting go lets go of letting go. Haha.

I don’t think you fully understand what I am experiencing. I was sitting down with a youtube video in the back ground letting go of my thoughts and clearing my mind. Thoughts would come up and I’d let go. I was basically doing for 10-20 min. Then I all of the sudden realized that the voice in my head and the voice I was hearing on youtube was being created by what felt like god and no one else, I wasn’t thinking my own thoughts, and the other person wasn’t speaking their own words, “god” was thinking both of them(but I don’t want to say god because I can’t really say I’ve fully experienced/understood god. And I don’t want to falsely convince myself that I have when I haven’t had a total absolute awakening to god) . Which was incredible. But that was accompanied by a deep solipsistic feeling of aloneness which terrified me. the belief I had was that I was thinking my own thoughts and that other people’s voices were there own. Now that line isn’t so clear. And my fear of the massive level of unknown that comes with that is holding me back from exploring that level of consciousness.

This is a very good point, I haven’t taken a deep enough critical look at the alternative. This fear that I’ve been trying to push through has only come up relatively recently so I haven’t really had enough mental discourse to develop a powerful enough conviction to adequately combat this fear. But I do think this exercise will help get through it. However I am curious by what you mean by you’ve been told your whole life how to live ? Did you grow up with dogmatic parents or something? I find this statement to also have validity. The more I chip away at true, the more I chip away at fear the more I find things like pain to be beautiful and relatively moreenjoyable. Which is why I’m interested and getting through it.

Yes. The mere idea of it doesn't bother me. What bothers me is when I sit down and let go of my mind, of my thoughts and ideas, and then run into sight of my mind generating everyone I know, everything they say and everything they have said. I love this level of consciousness and I want to explore it and press further into it, I find it beautiful. But when I start becoming directly that everyone is a generation of the same “engine” if you will, I begin to panic. This is as far as I can push my consciousness but I want to see what is beyond that fear.

I am extremely curious about what is true however I don’t believe I am fully seeing the connection between good and truth. I have a conceptual understanding of absolute truth and a couple of recent experience with it that have been totally life changing. But I haven’t ben able to surrender to the experience. My ego doesn’t want to let go of other people out of fear of the pain that would come along with it. I can let go of myself but now I don’t know how to deal with letting of other people. But then obviously I haven’t fully let go of myself if “I” am still holding on to other people. Do I have to let go of other people before I can fully let go of myself?

Just watched one Leo’s live awakening. Wow. Very elevating video. Was watching it hoping to motivate myself to face the absolute. But I wasn’t expecting the absolute to face me haha. But I’m having trouble dealing with the fact that I am all alone in the universe. I find this terrifying. I was wondering if anyone had a different perspective on this that might help me get over this. Thank you.

Its going to be about pick up