sjonesartist

I think you should absolutely talk to him and let him know what you are thinking/feeling. life is too short to not tell people what you are really feeling.

I guess it depends on the girl. To me... size means absolutely nothing. I've never dated a guy based on looks...EVER. always personality. When I feel close enough to someone to want to share myself with him, it has nothing to do with his size. And the emotions I feel are because of the person and the experience, not his physical size.

@Anna so very sad. sorry you went through, and are living with this.

man, this is sooooo sad!!! As a parent, I just don't get this... pointing out faults instead of rewarding the great behavior. Like, if this was me, if my son had a 98/100, I'd be like: Wow, thats great, an 80 would have been average, you scored well above average and I'm very proud of you! MAYBE something about, did you look at which one you missed? Did you know you were going to get that one wrong when you were answering it? can you remember that problem now? Is there anything I can do to help you study? I just don't get the parental mentality of pointing out faults, like this INSTEAD of praising achievements. I remember kids in highschool saying, 'Oh, I didn't get an 'A' my parents are going to KILL me'. really??? they are going to kill you? I don't know ... sorry if I'm babbling, I guess I'm saying, be proud of your 98!! Don't worry about pleasing someone that only puts you down.

This is really upsetting to me. As a parent, I couldn't imagine degrading my child, or making fun of them. If you think of your friendships, if a friend treated you like this, I would think you would not stay friends with that person, but what can you do when its your parent?? you can't leave your house as a child?? I know this is a 'self help' site, but just curious, have you ever gotten any type of therapy about this? Maybe if you did, you wouldn't be worried about pleasing them in the future. (I'm thinking you are worried about pleasing them because you felt the need to fib about exams etc, not wanting to upset them or have negative feed back from them.)

DJ! what the heck! fancy meeting you here!! its stephanie

I can't get into reading them either, I find I do better with workbooks or watching videos. However, maybe you could turn your current read into a type of workbook. Maybe pick up a nice notebook (journal) and for each section of the book you are reading, you could write in your journal about how that relates to you and your life, what changes you can make and how that is turning out for you. I also just use some of my self help books as reference books, in that I don't feel the entire book pertains to me, so I just focus on the chapters that do.

Hey Andy, I'm in the same boat as you. 4 years, on and off, we even eloped (big mistake) in Sept, and now I'm filing for divorce. Through all the breakups something kept bringing me back. I felt a part of me belonged with him. Couldn't pin point it... but I didn't want to be without him ...UNTIL I watched Leo's video the other day on dysfuctional relationships. The takeaway that helped the most, was that I thought he was best for me because I didn't have other options... It was the fact that I needed to increase my options, or enlarge my social pool. Getting out more, doing different things to meet more people. I know its hard... I'm going through it myself. But I have to say, now that I'm finding more people to do things with (even though I haven't found 'the one' yet, I'm doing things with more people, making more friends and really starting to think about my ex less. Spending time with him or in that dysfunctional relationship just isn't a priority to me now. I hope this helps you. Here's a link to the video I mentioned.

I've watched a few of Leo's videos today, so I'm not quite sure which video was talking about this... but what the gist was , was about a dysfuctional relationship, and feeling like you couldn't find someone else/better. Leo discussed the fact that you/we need to get ourselves around more people, to increase our social circles, so we aren't feeling lonely, or like there isn't someone better out there. So what is everyone doing to get themselves out there? I looked on the site meetup.com to try to find social groups with similar interests in my area. Also trying to be more outgoing with coworkers and other parents at the playground etc. This is difficult for me as I deal with social phobia issues, but finding the more I force myself, the easier it gets. Also (I'm a musician) I'm trying to get out more to the local cafe's or coffee houses for open mic, and perform, and/or watch others play their music. Now that am focusing on this, I'm improving myself, meeting people, and getting my mind off the past dysfunctional relationship.

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yes...boundries, and how about when other people don't respect my boundries? why do they do that? and how can I deal with/either get them out of my life, or convince them to respect my boundries?

1. Acceptance - To accept myself for what I am, and grow/change the things I am not happy with. 2. growth/education - to continue my education and grow as an individual, as a parent, and as an artist 3. creative - continue to be creative without the fear of being judged. Not letting this fear squash my creativeness 4. family - continue to try to be the best mom I can be, be a great role model for my kids, help them with any tools they need to find their own greatness. 5. honesty- try to always remain honest, and encourage others to do the same 6. Independence - Don't rely on other people to get what I need and can do on my own. Ask for help when needed but use the help/information to acquire my own independence. 7. kindness/compassion - be sympathetic and helpful to others 8. openmindedness - keep an open mind, don't judge others, but try to understand them. 9. self control - try to resist temptations that may keep me from my goals, or keep me from being the best I can be. 10. Responsibility - have control over myself, and my career.Be accountable for my actions. Thanks for reading!