theleelajoker

Funny. Nobody asks how women can make the conversation interesting for men. As if entertainment was a man's job only. The answer btw how women make conversation interesting for me is when women talk about things they really care about, when they are light and fun, or when they are emotional and show it (sad angry scared happy cheerful doesn't matter as long as its authentic and not victim mode) or when they are bold, when they teach me something new that is relevant for me, or when they ask me questions that I don't have an immediate answer for (love that one!), or when they genuinely listen, or when they genuinely want to get to know me, or when they make me laugh, or when they appreciate me for who I am, or when they pick up subtle little hints and pointers in my communication, or when they are witty, when they follow my lead in a conversation, or when they lead the conversation, or when they tease me playfully, or when they are courageous enough to express themselves fully, or when they are even more courageous and go into a conflict with me without being insecure, or righteous about it. You would have to ask the women that have been dating me, but my impression is that most or maybe all of the things above all are things that women find interesting as well @Natasha Tori Maru @Xonas Pitfall Curious if we can have a woman's opinion here. One of the best questions I got asked a while ago by a woman: "What was the last thing that inspired you?" That depth and interest was authentic and thus sexy as hell.

Re the "shallow" people: Alan Watt might say to this that there are more "inside" and more "outside" people. And isn't it amazing how well the outside people play their role? Instead of judging them, we should celebrate those people for playing their part so amazingly! Re OP: I would say four in total, three men and one woman (an ex). Real friends in a sense of "I know what's going on in their life and they know about mine" + we are in touch regularly. Two of those four live in another city, though. Some friends I see or talk to only every few months, and we talk about anything and everything, but we don't do stuff together often. Plus I don't feel we're involved enough into each other's daily life to call it "real" friends.

Of her orgasms? Well, that's one kind of a woman!

1) Don't know you yet except some posts 2) Send me money 🤑 3) See the point before 4) You are that evil, too. So where to put that evil? 5) Don't know but I would say it's mainly about entertainment

Drop the assumption that Leo knows WTF he's talking about. Drop the assumption that anyone knows. Your case suddenly gets a lot easier, doesn't it? Re content, I agree: IMO it should lead to fully embracing yourself with all there is and not purifying something that isn't right. If enlightenment does not give you access to some aspects of God’s power, then why would enlightenment give you access to any kind of purification or separation from your desires (especially for people who are born with antisocial predispositions, psychopathic traits, pedophilic attractions., or extremely strong lust, etc)? In both cases, you are still acting as a human and accepting that you are human, and that this is your current truth

Thanks for your perspective! Agree, it can be both - the practical and the genuine desire for depth. But I don't see many people simply saying that out loud. They - intentionally or not, consciously or not subconsciously - hide behind "higher"motives. And I count myself, too! Until I thought "wait a minute - why the hell do I even care so much about this? What am I trying to protect myself from?Ah... ok, that" lol

Nice. Well said IMO

Interesting point by highlighting the extreme opposite - complete loss of control, non-controlling. I believe the problem with truth seeking is that people choose where and how they seek truth and they don't see their own self deception @judy pointed out

How do you know that? What are criteria? How verify?

No I think many people are - at least partially - bullshitting themselves and others about their motivations

@Judy2 thx for adding some content to the discussion! I agree about that achievements, and that they are not less because of that or this motivation. Also agree that there has to be some story that provide coherence and interest to a person's journey. What I see critical is this: 1) presenting a story of "you need should do XYZ" or "look how I do XYZ and how great and important it is" and 2) judging people by commenting on their progress or failure ("good work, good job, but that's only the beginning etc") but 3) not providing the real personal motive. It creates an inauthentic vibe and will potentially lead to bypassing the real fears in favor of putting up a show. And worse, it might incentivize others to do the same.

All this "I want to understand reality" and "I am soooo interested in truth" and so on... What's really behind it is the idea of "I want to know how reality works because I want to control reality and avoid certain feelings and situations because I'm scared. Plainly fucking scared. If I figure out what this is and how it works oh yeah then I'm really great and superior and can stay within my subconscious limits full of social fears, self doubts and scary thoughts of being rejected and feeling small and insignificant" All this "Oh yeah let's contemplate and find out this and that and let's build an epistemic and ontological framework because I really need to know that and this is really important for me and others and the world --> same thing. Scared. What about let's go out, let go and let's do stuff? Let's experiment and experience instead of discussing and explaining and looking for "theories of everything" etc. Let's discuss the hypothesis I'm curious about opinions.

Agreed. Doing something typically < looking for perfect & right way. As long as the intentions are aligned.

Totally underrated and underrepresented in this forum. Words words words, concepts concepts concepts, descriptions over descriptions, so much discussion and often so little focus on action.

Loved how you emphasized that valuable experiences and skills come out of such things. And kudos for the simple fact that you opened up here.