theleelajoker

Hmmm...can going for direct experience without labeling anything ever be bypassing?

Make it as simple for you and her as possible, that's what's I'm pointing at. It's hard to determine your course of action on your own without her and before the interaction. It's typically easier to observe the situation, feel how and where you and her are at the moment, and go with this in a dialogue. Similar to how you find the best prompts with AI. Sure you have an idea, an intention when you start. But then you need resonance to move on and find what works best

Good point about blueberries. Guess I should also add it were 42 grapes.

To grapes 🍇 They're awesome.

Sooo....so what?

Feel free to give me a better option Trust that you will now what to say then the time comes

Orgasms seems to be a pretty effective way

Yes let's go out and do stuff

I can resonate with the experience of what we typically call "shame" or "guilt" or "fear". I also understand where you're coming from regarding distinction guilt and shame. Deconstructing can have value in dealing with it. At the same time, the distinctions are also meaningless. Whatever we call it, it's always simply a feeling we feel within our perceived boundaries.

🤣🤣🤣

Hmmm yeah I see. But it's different if I do that at a festival, in Nature or in a big city with traffic etc.

👍🙏

What changed? Your have different thoughts about the thoughts you had about your behavior? You exchanged one label, made up of thoughts, with another label, made up of different thoughts? What I am pointing to is sth I have seen many, many times. First with me, then with others: you find a new explanation for some experiences - and it all makes senses. Suddenly it all clicks. As a result, your acceptance for yourself and for your behavior rises. Your more happy, more content. For a while. Until this effects wears off. The explanation doesn't fit as well as before. Something changes. Until you're pretty much back to where you where before. BUT: there's hope. Because there is a new explanation. Have your heard of [ enter new label] , which explains [enter sth that I couldn't accept] in a great way?

Re your point task vs. intention: yes, agree. Same time, then the argument just shifts towards the translation of intention into actions. So what's your criteria to verify if the action is appropriate re your initial intention?

Don't know. I'm not an expert, just some ideas and assumptions. All I can say that feeling physical pain - think for instance of BDSM stuff - seems to act as an possible release mechanism. Not saying always a good one, but a possible one. You're forced to FEEL and to be in the moment. The fact that self injury is typically visible - maybe silent scream for help? Why do it on the forearms, when there are others places that are easy to reach and not visible? Rip area for instance, or feet. But also: just ideas and opinions.