theleelajoker

Just to give perspective: I have seen the "activate nervous system" you describe happening many times. But also: I have experienced great dates with the opposite, when the main thing was to relax and to clam down together. Moral of the story for me: it is what it is, it's always a unique person and situation.

I have another one that has not been named yet. And as said above, I also don't watch videos without context. The one quality that has not been named yet is caring. Caring about the world and other people. Genuinely doing your best to make the world a better place. It's an emotional energy I have experienced in three different women this weekend, and each time it was sexy as hell. And I don't talk about pity as in "oh I have to take care of XYZ this poor thing" but rather a determined "this sucks what can we do about it to make it better"? And re the other way, I have experienced that women seem to be more attracted to me when I genuinely care about the state of the world and ideally take action. Has to be honest and authentic, of course.

There's no one sided coin. It is what it is, move on. Sometimes I act like a scared 5 year old and do nothing except blaming myself for not acting. Sometimes my friends look at me as something lien a role model re approaches. Sometimes in between. If recently saw my friend fail miserably at flirting with a bartender over an extended period of time. We switched bars, and 5 minutes later he was charming, bold and funny as you can get with another girl. As @aurum said, state matters. Contexts matters. Randomness matters. Etc etc It is what it is. Be happy

Don 't ask us, ask the girl. Don't make a plan, be in the moment. Follow your heart, listen to yourself and her signals, be authentic and honest.

I'm not a Ralston expert and only superficially know his work. But one thing that stands out and that I like about his POV: he puts power into our own hands."stop doing that, you're creating it" --> if you only start to think like that little bit, it's empowering.

Reading this reminds me of two experiences I had last year. Some months ago, I took a medium to large dosis mushrooms and went for a walk. After a while, I entered a state that felt completely new for me. My nervous system relaxed, tension I normally feel in everyday life disappeared completely, and my thoughts were very clear. I noticed this state, was vey much aware of it and began to wonder about this new experience. I thought about things I want to do in my life and all felt easy, clean, sharp and totally doable. Suddenly a thought occurred and I felt I 100% understood what was going on: "This is how I feel without fear in my body!" There was another time I took shrooms at around noon. I went through some emotions and experiences during the day and in the early evening I was coming down. Some friends asked if I go out with them. I felt only some afterglow and was in adventure mood to interact and to explore outer reality after my trip. We went to a restaurant and there was a girl at the table in front of us with some friends of her own. We had some eye contact and as she was about to leave, I approached her directly. There was some interaction and I got her number. Some months later, after being too scared to approach some women, my friend reminded me of this past interaction. He said: "Strange, back then you had zero problems approaching here! You were hyper confident, determined and mega calm. Half joking, half serious he added: You acted like a psychopath!" I forgot about those situations, but reading this thread reminded me. I don't know if it's a trade off like @Breakingthewall says, but there might be something to it. Some evidence is the situation with the girl back then: she actually texted me later but I never met her. I realized that I had zero interest in her. Don't remember many other occasions, if at all, where I was the one approaching but never followed up, it's very untypical behavior for me. Which indicates that I must have been vey much out of touch with my true feelings back then. Which is aligned with the idea above re less understanding and less connection...

Honestly and curiously asking: Who? I either forgot or haven't encountered such people What's the reason(s) you give them credibility to even consider to follow their words without using own common sense? Edit: I followed some stuff without questioning myself of course, too. Probably still do re some things unconsciously. But it was never a single person, it was more following ideas established by society in general.

Yeah, I would say that Ralston seems to lack...compassion? That words seems right. He is so deep in his own reality tunnel that he either forgot or even never experienced the challenges you mention. A friend of mine visited one of his courses in person and he (Ralston) seems to lack certain empathic qualities...at least from time to time.

Quite the claim to say his view is "flawed". HTF you know that? What purpose does it serve for you to think that way? What consequences would happen if you reverse your POV by 180°? You don't need Leo for that. It's super the most basic common sense there is, isn't it? There's not a single person whom I attribute just a tiny speck of credibility who says otherwise. Seriously, I can't think of anyone that goes "Don't use your own common sense, don't make your own experience, following me blindly and never question" And for the ones now saying "what about religion or sects" I refer back to tiny speck of credibility and the common sense you're born with as a human I pointed out above.

I think a HUGE problem is that people rely on "teachers" they only know from videos, or stories or similar. Guys, you know the part this person wants to present as their online personality, not the person itself. And the sheer fact that this person sends videos as a one way street, without live resonance and feedback - that should already tell you something.. First person, real life experience. Live experience over an extended period of time. Anything else - what do you even expect?

Re content, I agree. But I don't get the context. My point was that re @CARDOZZO it is not plausible to make a post about "lot's of sex or sex opportunity doesn't make me happy" while saying sex is not a priority. People that don't have sex as priority don't use dating apps, or if they do they don't have 30 contacts and 20 matches (don't recall the exact numbers) re sexual contacts, and they don't do posts about their sex life in a forum. They don't approach many girls, they don't have an approach or philosophy about how to talk to girls or how they get to sex, because their thoughts don't touch these topics so much. It's like saying "I don't care about football" while being in a football stadium watching a game lol

1) OK 2) Careful with assumptions about my dating behavior. Also in is forum I have argued in favor of authenticity, honesty and against manipulative pick up behavior. I agree, lieing and playing games is a huge energy drain 3) Having a tinder profile IS already a sign of priority of sex for me. I don't have one (any more ) and some of my ffriends also don't. Other friends do use it because it's a higher priority for them to meet girls to have (the potential for) sex

Aren't you the guy that posted the stuff about all the Tinder and Whatsapp contacts that want to fuck with you? The one that said you achieved the pick up dream but realized it doesn't make you happy? (I'm paraphrasing) Can't believe you got to this point without giving it a priority in your life.

Maybe. Maybe your point is just a symptom of the need to look for an explanation re your individual experience, labeling it as "truth" because it's to hard to just take things as they are and live without explanation in the mystery of life.

I don't know Daniel Schmidt well enough. Maybe it's true what you say, even if I didn't get the same impression as you got. But I sense lot of projection and I doubt you have seen his work? Thing is, I do believe there is constant communication going on, and I do believe that there's SOME resonances mechanism with "external reality". Maybe I experience reality that way because I want to see it that way, maybe it's a case of John C Lilly's "whatever you believe either is true or becomes true". Don't know, it's simply the way I experience life. Simple stuff I experienced like I say something now to person A, and a few minutes/ hours/ days later person B that was maybe 1000km away and never ever was in touch with person B picks up the exact context and words. That kind of resonance as one example. Leaving this side-topic aside, my personal biggest awaking jump came from simply being present. Just sitting and moving attention though my body, or watching breath, or just sitting. So for you it's will, for me it's being present, for others it might be substances, or jerking off at midnight. So what to take from it? Nothing. Nothing but personal experience. Many people project their experience into generalized "that's the way it's is". I think that's BS. I say no one knows how it works and just looks for a coherent story. Of course, might be that I do that too - just with my own generalized story of " you are wrong it can't be known" 🤣