theleelajoker

Try to put it into a maximum of 2-3 simple sentences?

For me, as of today, it's like that: Manipulation -> making an effort to control situations and other people's behaviour to achieve a certain outcome while hiding/ masking my true intentions--> might work in the short run to a degree Difference influence vs. manipulation: I influnce people by me must being me. No intention of changing them, just expressing myself If I think sth will be good for sme else, I am as open as I can be about it, not masking my intentions. Trust is important: Does the other believe that I truly have his best intentions in mind? I might be wrong with my recommendation, but my intention is pure. Medium to long term you will get a backlash from manipulation People don't like being manipulated, causing reactance. They feel if you go against their own motives You also loose. You can't control reality and as long as you try to, you will never be free You can't create feelings or actions in other people, no matter what. Only thing you can do is bring attention to what already is. Example: I walk down the street with my friend. There is trash on the street and I pick it up Manipulation: I pick it up because I want him to be more eco-conscious etc., that's my primary intention. And indeed, maybe he picks up trash one time, maybe even so that I see it. But as soon as he is unobserved he stop giving a fuck and leaves the trash where it is Influence: I am silently picking it up simply because I feel like doing it. He is observing that, feels my true intention and does not feel pressured to do the same. But if there is a inner desire to also pick up trash in the future my actions bring attention to his desire Grey Area where I don't really know how to see it: I pick it up and say: "I pick it up because I feel like it, because I feel it's the right thing to do for me. But at the same time I hope that my example will cause others to do the same."

@HojoI can see what you are talking about. I can recognize the mechanism and the way I see it now, it is EXACTLY the way you described. Yesterday I would not have understood it, now it's impossible not to see it @Someone here Interested in proving Hojo wrong? Anyone knows the "Samadhi Series" from Daniel Schmidt? Watch the first ~ 20 min, there he adresses the mechanism. Quoting him: If you are identified with an illusory self, then you are asleep. Once you are aware of the prison, if you fight to get out of the illusion, then you are treating the illusion as if it is real and you still remain asleep, except now the dream becomes a nightmare. You will be chasing and running from shadows forever. Samadhi is awakening from the dream of the separate self or the egoic construct. Samadhi is awakening from identification with the prison that I call me. You can never actually be free, because wherever you go your prison is there. Awakening is not about get rid of the mind or the matrix, on the contrary; when you are not identified with it, then you can experience the play of life more fully, enjoying the show as it is, without craving or fear. In the ancient teachings this was called the divine game of Leila: the game of playing in duality.

Have a good lunch you all : )

What happened to not responding?

Thanks for clarification. In a strange way, this makes complete sense : )

Sry, I can't follow. Lost the context. Curios to understand your points, though. I am not paying attention when I am doing what? What is not making love? Women would do what with themselves? Thanks !

Ups I kind of feel caught with the idea "ego want so benefit and thus let's go of control" @VeganAwakeThe rest of your post kinda makes sense for me intellectually, but also not really. Guess it's because there wasn't the experience of ego dissolution. Can't really imagine the experiences of no self. How does that look in practice? Are there no more thoughts? Very few of them and you are very aware of them? Are there no more preferences? Or you have preferences but are OK if things turn out to be different? If someone ask you e.g if you want to move to city x or city y - you just say "let's see what happens"? Or is there still the idea if "I want to moce to city X". And is this then a false egoic thought? Kind of trying to grasp how life looks after the end of the self-illusion...

Great example. Haven't seen yet how much positive reinforcement can also create Ego, not only "bad traumatic" events

@Davino OK, thx @inFlow Thx as well. Helps. Really hard right now to find any balance, to make conscious choices and stay the course. Imagine a fly buzzing around - sitting for a moment, getting up again, going in cirlces, landing again just to get up again. Will follow the advice of Davino and go outside to ground myself. Yes, I can already see that. There is at first resistance, but I can see how she's a reflection of my inner world and simply doing exactly what is the right thing to do. Like everybody else. And I notice that people act different around me. E.g. that I get more, or at least different attention from other women lol

@Davino Thx for clarification. You do the throne thing, I tell I'm her stallion and she can ride it any way she wants (she was doing a lot of horse riding when she was younger) And it's quite interesting, I think subconsiuosly we kind of have been exploring and doing this kind of stuff you describe. For me, it's finding a vibe, rhytm, position where the woman is literally opening up and fully inviting, welcoming you. I can feel it in her moaning, her breath, her (decrasing) body tension and of course I can feel it around my dick. The whole energy exploraton thing works best when be both smoked some weed I think we tend to be less in our head more in our body then. Re the energy exchange, I was sometimes thinking that it's a healthy way to express some of my male agression/activity in a gentle and controlled way while the woman literally receives the kinetic energy of the penetration and finally the male orgasm. @Schizophonia: Nothing cringe for me at all

Well said. Like very much what you wrote. Maybe even going a step further with one sentence: is learning, changing, evolving maybe the only meaningful thing in life?

@Emerald Thx. Quite interesting as I recently had some experiences that gave me an impression to tap into sth very deep, Jungian like collective unsonscious. Just happened and then later I assosiated it with Jung's description. It also touches on some of the uncomfortable questions re women and history of supression, adding an aspect you did not include in your posts before - the topic of guilt. If interested in more info, PM. @Natasha Tori Maru "I definitely chose to come into this existence in female form as this was the energy type I needed to master, primarily." Makes sense for my personal journey, too ;D

Great post. As I wrote above, I agree about taking responsibility. As of today, it seems like a tradeoff between freedom and responsibility for me. But how did I meet the people, how did I get into situations that allowed me this insight? What made me recognize and then decide that I want to make that tradeoff? What makes me approach these mechanisms with love instead of force? Who is actually softening the ego structures? Why are there people that seem to be be stuck in the same pattern for many years, while others manage to make gain freedom? Who or what allows me to let go of control instead of holding onto things? NO FUCKING IDEA.

You say you want X but you're not doing it. So how you know you really want it? I have this often, too. I want, I want and I can't. But I want so badly. Now I am sad, because I want, but I don't do it. Sucks. And then suddenly, I feel like doing XZY - and before I even realize it, it's done. So maybe what you want NOW is to be desperate. You want to crave. You want to be in a down mood. You want to feel not motivated. These feeling are there. You can't escape them. But if you stay long enough with them, these feelings want to escape. And then, the fun part begins... : ) Plus: Aurum wrote about seeing through the illusion. Welcome to Maya.

Yeah, it's more living in the moment, realizing it's all there is. And I also had my father issues but when I talked to him after a long time, I realized that the shitty mental image I had of him of the past is plain wrong. Time, memories, images - it all gets blurred. But exactly this is also the power to change. I realize my part in creating the story. I take responsibility and I gain freedom for me and others.

One situation comes to mind: When we got started, my bisexual then-gf told me how few days ago she kissed another girl in a bar and then "took her to the bathroom to touch her pussy". Made me so horny and woke a very primal instinct in me to show her what women can not give her. She continued telling her story in her siren-like voice while we were fucking. She was so very expressive moaning. OMG I love latinas

Many good inputs. Yeah, people intuitively feel you no matter what you do. But also, I had success with very charming, lovely and pretty women without doing ANY of these things you show at 6:40. And while I am happy with my looks, I am not very tall or muscular and nobody would mistake me for Brad Pitt. So I am always sceptic about formulas in how to have success with this or that. It always feels off for me. Of course, I know that I have certain attraction when I am calm, relaxed or energetic and powerful. But when I am insecure, nervous, feeling weak or low self esteem then girls still liked me! Maybe it's because they are then less afraid to show their emotions, or because they trust more that I am not faking anything, who knows?

@Emerald I read through the whole thread. Your posts are incredible valuable for me are this point. You basically put all past and my current relationship into a new perspective. A better one Thanks. Extremely interesting how cultural ideas of masculine/ feminine can be in contrast to a archetypal properties. You mentioned medical journeys (Ayahuasca, peyote or similar I assume). Is this the main source of your insights? Honestly, you're the first person describing the m/f energies in this way. Never read about it, too.

Nice thread. Unlike you guys, I can't remember how and when my ego structure evolved and became so dense. Some fragments, but most is probably still in my subconscious. But I fully resonate with the mechanisms and examples you describe. Gaining control by learning certain behavior, creating stories and believes building self protection structures on top Easing tensions with substances (for me, lots of weed) Complexity with trauma. I could understand many things, mechanisms clearly but also couldn't access it. Blockages that frustrated me for years and nothing I could do on a conscious level, no matter how hard I tried. Hated myself for that (not anymore) Psychedelics - yeah very slippery slope. Without my first LSD experience, I think would never started this journey towards freedom. But IMO they are less the solution and more a catalyzer, jump starter Grace and luck...oh yes. I was very fortunate to get in touch with the methods and people that helped me to ease the density of me ego and thus my suffering Talking of trauma and methods: for everybody being as desperate as I was about not being able to change: I am 100% convinced that's it's possible to access these deep dense structures and to dissolve them. For me, it works in deep meditative states. I can literally feel them. It takes time, it takes the right conditions, it takes the willingness to go through pain but I know that it's possible. Other methods might be better for others but if you are ready, the method will follow.

Good advice. Was thinking about doing a bit of LSD but postponed it until I am stable again. Groundings also makes sense, I was feeling very dream like and that's not vey functional for everyday life and work. Love the sentence "partner we search most aligns with our inner woman". My gf does help intuitively, even if I sometimes have resistance. Must be the mirror experience for her. Quite interesting dynamic and I am very curious to explore this further. You say she can help particularly re Sex. I have ideas why you say that, but can you clarify pls?

Thx for sharing. The tension release I feel too, it's really great. And I can feel the correlation between psyche,body, tensions and letting go. It's all one big puzzle. There are many ways to meditate. Watching breath or just sitting, doing nothing I can really feel how energies start to move. Body scan is currently a bit much but was highly effective during retreat. But everybody is different. My first two retreats had some boring phases. But during the last one so much came up, so much happening that boring is the last word I would use to describe it 😅

@Hojo First sentence I get and agree. The rest is a bit murky. Ok, void, creation, completing polar energies, creating life... I don't get what this means in practical terms except "have passionate and loving sex together"

Nice. It's sometimes easy for me to fall into the "I know" trap. I agree also with "come and see how I act". First person experience of actions instead of talking or writing, making Videos etc Wordless, pathless, effortless is a very nice guidance. I'll keep that in mind. Thx

Good point. I would say: Trust you instincts when to and how to act and when to observe. I believe noone should or can even change one's karma. So maybe person X needs to be locked away or killed bc it's the experience they need to develop? Who knows. Not saying you should never act. Not saying you should always act. Don't be dogmatic but be present and adjust to any situation.