theleelajoker

Yeah, I see the common ground. What about accepting your quote above but ADDING a second one"The most comprehensible thing about the universe is that it is INcomprehensible" In language terms, it's either one state or the other. Or in other words, one quote is true or the other - is comprehensible, or it is not. I tend toward "it's both". My perspective on it is now 1) language is binary but the universe is not and 2) you can gain understanding, but there's constant change. So as soon as you understand something, you change and thus your way of perceiving and acting in reality, and that interconnexion causes changes that again are to be understood, but because of ....and so on.

Nice metaphor. I agree but also would add that's something applying in particular when we deal with people. If I go to the gym - focus muscles - I get pretty linear results. I cut a tree - focus matter - I get pretty linear results using my axe. Also, re OP: how you know your A game is what others perceive as attractive and A game, too? I have seen guys thinking they are flirting and impressing the girl while they were actually putting her off and boring her to death lol

Many many times. You can see it like that. Or as something like universal mind. Or something else. You can see it also like that: It's simply an event happening. How I interpret it doesn't tell me anything else then what I project on reality, what I want to see. Most neutral description I can come up spontaneously: "There is the observation of a (silent) combination of words that carry a learned meaning and then a experience that seems in some way to reflects this combination of words in an event"

Agree on that.

I rather think: "I don't know why he/she did XYZ" Believing that he's the one supposed to be leading is already projection. I had plenty of experiences where the woman was mainly leading the interaction or where the lead was changing over time and in total balanced.

Stop manipulating me, woman! I know your game! I'll immediately go to my voodoo puppet and start stabbing needles! But....I mean.. just in case you are at least a 6.7429 IRL, and you can 100% guarantee me that you won't reject me, and you definitely allow me to keep my mask and not ever fucking ever ask me questions that put my self image and believe system into doubt.... I could maybe imagine myself to have a grateful day and to allow yourself to be manipulated by me to into having sex together. But you have to cuddle me afterwards and not tell anyone that I enjoyed the cuddle!

I get your way of thinking. Don't know how much you already do it - what might help to get clarity is less thinking and more turning attention inwards. Take a walk in nature, feel your body, guide your attention through your body parts. Consciously feel your feelings and body sensations. Chances are you finish the walk knowing exactly what to do next. And that NEXT step is all you need.

If I was you, I would question your assumptions like the one above. No wonder your mind feels fucked up with all these limitations you put on yourself, your experience and external reality. It's like solving a equation with hundreds of constraints and variables while having close to zero hard information and fixed determinants. How you know you must have decision before? How you know you must make decision alone? How you know your decision is not dependent on how your GF reacts I open dialogue? How you know that best way to find aligned action is contemplating? How you know what the colleges experience is supposed to be like? I could go on for pages. But you get the direction

Guys, I used to think and act like you.. trying to figure out keys to interaction and dating etc, analyzing, planning and so on. Over time I came to the conclusion that my smart analysis and experiences in external reality is mostly just unconscious projection. Reading through the analysis why particular women (or men) do this or that or don't is now a source of entertainment for me. Nothing more than that. To quote Marcus Aurelius: "Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth"

@Joshe But but but ....you can't say that! That means... people can't project their own inner conflicts on "women" as a generalized and incorrect source of their problems! That means one has to turn attention inwards - but bro, that's what people are avoiding! Especially the part "seeking to understand and game them" - that mean you have to let go of your futile attempts to manipulate and control reality and in this case, women. But but ...if one stops doing that, what remains? This also means one has to enter the flow of life with the intent to feel and experience all the stuff one has suppressed! Are you nuts to suggest that one should feel his feelings? And this also means that a whole industry of dating and flirting coaches looses the validity of their existence, thereby erasing terabytes of BS from global servers! Not even to speak of black pill people and all the other stuff. What will they now do with their time? You are implying that instead of analyzing and hating women, one could create a constructive use of their time? Man, you can't be so blunt and point out that the problem and the solution lies with oneself instead of a story one has carefully created re "women". Seriously, nobody told you that's it's not right to name things as they are? That you're supposed to get in line and pretend that's it's always the others fault? Should be ashamed of yourself! Really, very very much ashamed. Please go outside and project your problems on someone else like you're supposed to do!

I agree with Hojo. Don't strategize. Express yourself and see what happens. You can still do it in a subtle, gentle way. Right now I feel like this and that, how do you feel about it? As a consequence, I'm asking myself where we go from here? Continue as we do now, continue but do differenly, taking a break, etc etc. How do you see the situation? Etc etc Free yourself of your own shackles.

@Godhead Nice. I think it's both. I can see the archetypes @Davino talks about, but I also see the individuality. Yes, there's lasagna, and there's pizza and there's pasta. But also, there are infinite differences in the ingredients, in the composition of the food, in the way of cooking and in the way of eating it. Not to mention that you can combine them in infinite ways to create something new. Have you tried my new lasizza?

Don't ask why. You just make up stories that are a misinterpretation of reality. Marcus Aurelius put it nicely: "Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth." Go for direct experience. Ask: What is good about it? How can I use this experience to my benefit? What do I do with it? What feeling does this experience cause in my body? Don't look for explanations, go for experience and action. Have Fun.

My 50 cents: Your problem and your solution lies in this first sentence. Forget about else you wrote, that's just stories you adapted to distract yourself.

Did not watch the video. But I can say that psylocibin had significant, sustainable and positive effects on my quality of life. Re relationships with others, re business, re relationship with myself, re learning, re joy of living and re nervous system. For example, it took a lot of fear out of my system & improved my attention control and communication. Used both, micro and macro dosing. Effects were not linear and accompanied by other interconnected actions (nutrition e.g.)

Since you mention mental health in your OP I want to share that one of the most valuable questions I ever got asked re questioning and exploring "mystical realms": "Is what you're doing actually good for you? My reflex was to reply "yes, that's what I'm curious, what I'm passionate about, I want to know this and that etc etc." Then I hesitated and paused this story I created for myself for a moment...and I began to wonder: HOW do I know that? HOW do I actually evaluate if something is good for me? HOW good are these indicators, how aware am I of them, and are they still up to date or relicts if my past? Long story short, I changed my attitude and behavioral patterns afterwards and include these questions much more in my daily life.

"The earth is flat" " It looks like it, but it's not.It because it looks like that from where are you now" "You are lying, from where I stand it's flat and always will be" "Walk the path, walk long enough, confirm or falsify for yourself" 'I don't need to do it, I can see from here I don't need to walk. I can watch YouTube videos instead" "Don't listen to me, OK. But if you're not willing to find out for yourself, how can you ever learn the truth "? "You shall be burned at the stake for saying the earth is not flat....but actually, if I look deep inside, I'm a scared little child that clings to external ideas to find something to grasp on in this frightening world. I experienced bad stuff in my life, I am afraid of being rejected, I am afraid of love and I don't know any better then to express my self this way" "It will pass. Just keep moving."

Mic drop 🎤

I agree. That's how I experienced it, even if I didn't understand it back then. But not as total dissolution, a partial one for me I would say. And over time the dissolved part got modified/ replaced by sth else. Did not view it as picking at people. I think you just expressed information and your POV. In the end, the process so far as been definitely led to sth better. There was a phase where this was not the case, the dark night of the soul was kinda real for me. But now I feel my more integrated, and my quality of life - among other things - increased significantly. I can begin to sense how much more potential there is as I still hold a lot of tension in my body (and thus, limits in my mind /self structure)

+1 Took time for me to rebuild a stable self after my awakenings

Ok. So serious answer: I talk more about what truly matters to me. I wear less masks. I listen more. I judge less. Take people as they are as best as I can. I pay attention to act aligned and with integrity towards myself and others. Etc etc And if I do that, stuff happens that gives the chance for meaningful experiences and thus connections. In end, that's the key. A) spending time together and B) all parties are authentic, so that you can be yourself. That gives IME the chance for that meaningful connection you're asking

Best make two plans. If the first one fails. Or three, to have a backup for the backup. Nothing more satisfying and fulfilling than making plans and using them to try to control reality in a 1:1 setting of a date. Since reality is totally foreseeable and the magic of life - especially the magic of flirting and love making - is following plans, that's my favorite hobby! Making plans on how to interact, and describing reality with words - all to not be present and in the moment! Genius! When I was inexperienced in sex I had plans for which positions in which order, how deep I put my dick inside and how many thrusts. I even made plans re the power or my thrusts! Got a whole box of charts and concepts if someone is interested!

Do or did you have experiences that align with this model of mind as Universal Mind compared to individual mind? Focus is on noticing this in others, not within yourself during meditation, psychedelics, meditation, sensory deprivation, no-self. etc. For example When interacting with other people, you had the feeling that you're not talking to the individual (IM) but the (UM)? You had a strange feeling that the "entity" or "self" in front of you significantly changed during the course of your interaction? You had conversations with people, talked deeply about spiritual topics but later those people don't remember what they said? Randomly people appear in your life and give you "strange" questions or "strange" information that was for you out of context? For instance, stranger looking almost like a homeless guy sits next to you in subway and after 1 minute gives you a lecture about metaphysics, AI and quantum mechanics? You received information that had very much the flavor of being information that guide your future behavior? You had conversations where the individual said things that fit the description of UM below? E.g. "it's big job to align and take care of all those individuals" or that it "life might seem chaotic for you not but for me" You had conversations where you received information that very much like someone is teaching you something fundamental about yourself and life? You experience strange body sensations, "goosebumps", energetic flows, or similar during a conversation, when certain words are spoken? Some words seemed to have a coded meaning, not only literal one. For instance, the person in front of you tells you how she teaches lessons to her horse ("I check the horses state of mind, it' mood and get a feeling if it's ready to receive and process a new lesson"). And you can't shake that feeling that it's not (only) about the horse - it's a description how you are taught lessons in life Some words, sentences carried a deeper significance felt deep down inside you? You can't say what or how, but SOMETHING was just a bit DIFFERENT in this conversation I am ONLY interested in first hand, direct experience. No "he said, she said", no "teachers", no "gurus", no scripture. PLEASE IF YOU CAN'T FOCUS ON DIRECT EXPERIENCE DON'T POST HERE. _________________________________________________________________________________________ For simplification, here is a chatgpt summary of mind as described by John C Lilly. 1. Individual Mind (Personal / Biological Levels) The individual mind refers to levels of consciousness tied to a single organism, especially the human nervous system. Key characteristics: Biologically grounded Operates through the brain, body, and sensory systems. Ego-structured Includes identity, memory, language, emotions, and personal history. Conditioned and limited Shaped by culture, learning, trauma, and neurophysiology. Instrumental intelligence Focused on survival, problem-solving, prediction, and control within the physical world. Lilly often emphasized that the individual mind experiences itself as separate, localized, and bounded in space and time. 2. Universal Mind (Cosmic / Transpersonal Levels) The universal mind refers to a level of intelligence not confined to any single organism. Key characteristics: Non-local Not limited to a body, brain, or spatial location. Shared or collective Accessible in principle by all minds, though usually unconsciously. Underlying substrate of consciousness Individual minds are expressions, channels, or subsets of this larger field. Timeless and unbounded Not constrained by linear time or personal identity. Lilly described the universal mind as the source from which individual minds arise and into which they can temporarily merge, especially in altered states (e.g., meditation, sensory deprivation, psychedelics).

Yes. I think that's one of the reason why eastern philosophies (Buddhist teaching, yoga) include morals guidelines, integrity, e.g Yama and nyama. It just slowly sinks in for me how deep this affects my personal experience of life in every action and choice...

Thanks! I really got confused. How was it with introducing the idea of sex? Do I do it after the third negging and the sixth body contact? Or the sixth negging and the third body contact? Ah shit how was the rating again? Touching hand 0.5 points, touching hip 0.85 points and touching ass 1.5 point? And after a total of 5 points I can go for sex, but only if I hide my true intent to a degree of at least 6/10 right? So saying "let's have coffee at my place" is a ok? Or should I it be a more subtle "I live close by and I forget [ ....] and I really need it?" Guys, I'm so happy that there are all this dating coaches and videos nowadays! Really, without these instructions I would not know how to do ANYTHING. Must have been really super hard for people in the last centuries! How did they ever get some flirting and even sex going AT ALL?