theleelajoker

I just processing your replies. Thanks for that. I think something is starting to click. 1. Things happen (or seem to); 2. The self (which is entirely illusory) then tries to claim the apparent happening as its own. It believes it either brought it about, or that it somehow owns it. Of course, this is completely untrue because the self does not actually exist I understand "claim the happening" as I am building up a story how it happens, the causalities, what I did etc. ? Is that what people talk about in "do nothing" meditation? I think I am starting to get what you say. I often had the feeling, that I bring myself to this point of anxiety etc just that my suffering becomes so strong, that I have no choice but to let go. I had this experience once during my vipassana retreat. This makes so much sense. What I do not understand is your point about will. I thought "will" = mental activity and thus effort and creating disbalance. Like the analogy with waves in a pond. All of you - thanks a lot for your comments. I already feel much calmer. Facing some of my biggest fears helped. Just feeling things instead of being afraid to feel. And then it is not as bad I thought it would be

Hello Mosksha and axion, thanks for replying. It already helps a little bit, if only that it feels like someone else can somehow relate and even took a few moments to reply. I feel like I am in a very deep emotional crisis, depressed and anxious so every little thing helps. I know it will pass. I just don't feel it yet.

Can someone relate?

By having fun. All the things you listed can create pressure if you leave off the fun

My personal favorite answer to this I heard from a friend: The world is not the way it is because the way it is now, it is the "best place". It is how it is because the way it is now, it is "the best place to learn what we are supposed to learn".