Journey
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How do we determine the state or wellbeing of an identity or self? "How are you?" Is the reality one has created and built one that serves them, or one that burdens them? Is one being accepted unconditionally by a perceived environment? Is one able to accept him or herself unconditionally?
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I will be posting less frequently, as I am no longer monitoring progress on daily habits. My fitness, nutrition, and meditation habits have been formed successfully. If for some reason, I go off-track, I will post regarding that trigger and track the habit as I resume, if I feel it is useful. Instead, I'll be sharing my perspective and development as pivotal moments or insights occur. There will be more rambling and introspection, instead of tracking and analysis. That's all for now folks!
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Been trying to breakdown perceived limits through tangible, repeated actions everyday. Reorienting my relationship with money and income. Connecting with people in person and online who share similar values as myself or have already manifested the goals and dreams I am aiming for. Encouraged and excited. Food for thought:
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Not much to say lately. I believe I have fully transitioned to vegetarianism at this point, and I'm moving towards an entirely vegan diet in the future. Fitness has been going well and yoga is improving my flexibility and overall calmness. I have my sights set and I am practicing envisioning my dream as a reality, to let myself really connect with it and keep that spark alive. I have a few final academic responsibilities, but I am focusing my attention mostly on my nomadic lifestyle research as I prepare to travel. Despite my goals, I do not need achievement to feel whole. I do these things to express my nature, but not to create my nature.
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When I shared my dreams from this place of abundance and love, I am greeted not by enthusiasm but by concern. Questions about the logistics and the safety and the comfort and the etc. etc. etc. I am opening the lock of the cage and you are asking me if the latch is rusty... This bird has to fly. This spirit is and always will be. May this external negativity of egos and fears, pass through like a breeze, washed out by the abundance and love of the greater self. If I shall cross paths with those who do connect to that, then they shall be welcomed, but for those who are confused or limiting or negative, I will not sputter to a stall. I will not settle for a life of someone else's choosing. I will not inhabit a life where I feel the urge to numb myself because of the discomfort and the lack of passion.
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@OceanJjb Through the magic of positive thinking (I opened it in Preview on Mac and clicked "Rotate Right").
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@OceanJjb Here ya go.
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Did a bit of an urban exploration and hike today through some trails and hills around here. Wandering a little bit more each day and allowing myself to accept the space, the peace, the lack of "shoulds" and "to-dos."
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Seeing life change as I change from a viewpoint of scarcity to one of abundance. Getting outside everyday even if only to lay on the grass in the park and stare out at the vast city or to walk through the hills, peering closer at the birds and creatures as if they were only first discovered. It is one thing to look. It is another to see. Limitless choices for me now, but I need not overcomplicate. At first I was very concerned with my nomad intentions, thinking of how I would manage to blend into the city. But deep down I do not have a desire to be in the city! So now I look to the great openness and how I can transition into it. Little steps. I set up my sleeping bag in the corner of my room, leaving my bed to rest alone. I sold some more items. I researched some more options. Reading some Walden too, to connect with another who felt that inkling and flowed with it.
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Wonder: It is beyond habits, though those can be good starting points to spark that awareness. I feel the need less and less for a set schedule. I listen more to the "beat of my own drum." The "obligations" that I have left are voluntary and I do set time aside for them, but not at the cost of my big vision. 6 weeks until I graduate from college. In the meantime, I am committed to manifesting my big vision and getting started prepping for my nomadic adventure. It's time to build.
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Big Vision: Sometimes it can feel scary to let go, like you're dangling off a cliff about to fall into the abyss. Looking a little closer though, it's not an abyss. There's no "fall" so great that anything more than the ego can be lost, or so I feel. Today, I tried to let go. I informed an instructor of my intended path, and they were naturally shocked but supportive. I told my family and got the same response. I know a lot of times that the limits that other people place on themselves, keep them from believing that you can overcome those same limits, but that does not mean your dream is impossible. Goodbye, status. Goodbye, creature comforts. Goodbye, expectations. Goodbye, formal education. Hello adventure. Each moment is another opportunity to bask in the true joy of existence. I could not ask for more.
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Wonder: Letting the joy sink in today. Habits come easy when they are an expression of self love. Here's some food for thought. Call it crazy or weird if you choose, but give it a try, seriously. What is life like without all those shoulds, coulds, and disclaimers? It's something radically different. Transforming my perspective to viewing objects as supplies for adventure, not trophies or comforts. I cried a lot today because I was so grateful to be given this opportunity to experience life.
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@misko55 To each his/her own. Your hair as a symbol reminds me of the story of Samson if you're familiar, though it sounds like when you cut it, it is more empowering than anything.
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Wonder: I forgot what it felt like to dream without limits. I'm now letting myself wander through the imagination and seeing what comes up. Nutrition: I made my first fully vegan meal today! Kidney beans, lentils, and quinoa! Yum! I was able to completely avoid meat products today as well. I met my water goal of 1 gallon. Fitness: Making progress this week and improving my strength! I saw my numbers rise and I've been loving my cardio HIIT bike rides... though I'll admit I want to build up to riding some of the crazy hills in my area! I like the wind and the views more than the inside of the gym. Big Vision: Today I researched the lifestyles of those who are nomads who live out of backpacks, campers, or RVs and I was seriously inspired. I was talking to a friend about what type of work I could do to generate a little income to fund my travels and there was such a "duh" moment AKA a eureka moment.. Using mobile hotspots, I could do freelance design or any number of online businesses. My training and formal internships are all in design so this would be a simpler transition, but I could see myself learning and sharing another skill or knowledge set as well. Thinking... As a symbolic gesture, I had my septum pierced today as well. It was something I had been considering for a long time, but I was worried that others might judge me or I might not get some corporate job... So it serves as a commitment to letting go of what no longer serves me and reinvesting fully into self-love, self-actualization, and presence in life. While some might view this as mere food to the ego, I consider it a tangible reminder of the greater self and intuition that underlies and supercedes the external appearance.
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Request: At this point I'm looking to connect/talk with a vegan, a nomad/traveler, a fitness... person, an outdoors person, and a minimalist to discover a bit of their experiences and ask some real-world questions. I'll be researching and finding what I can online of course, but if you know anyone that fits these descriptions, let me know! I'm looking for a general accountability partner for some specific aspects as well, so if you're fired up or in a transition into these habits or experiences, feel free to reach out. I'm friendly! I promise!
