woohoo123

Hi, Context This will be my 8th trip on DMT Fumarate (oral administration with MAOI). I've not tripped in over a year, so I had really bad pre-trip anxiety. I thought if I read some trip reports from the forum it would help, but it just made it worse because people share all their bad experiences. I saw someone say something like 'I saw all the worse/horrific faces you could imagine' and that line got stuck in my head I was like ... why did you have to say that fuck sake... Anyway, in the build up to it I did a lot of contemplation on why I wanted to trip again. From my previous trips, I came to recognize I didn't actually care too much about the metaphysical stuff. I cared more about experiencing practical emotional shifts that can help me through my daily experience of life. How to better handle my jealousy, loneliness, depression, dealing with feelings of loss for things I desire but know I can never have, all that kind of stuff. For me the metaphysical stuff is like icing on the cake. I know people will disapprove, but part of me feels like I've seen enough. I didn't feel the need to go further into that direction. I wanted to be more practical like how do I feel and react and live my life on a daily basis? So I was really questioning if I should even continue tripping at all - because in some sense I already felt like I got what I needed from these experiences. I'm at a point now where I feel tripping is nice but I don't 'need' them as much as I felt I use to. I'm fine going without. In the end I still went ahead as its very rare I have the entire day and house to myself. I picked a low dose (125mg DMT Fumarate which is ~77mg DMT) with 3g Syrian Rue seeds and the trip lasted around 2 hours. Even though I had done this dose previously, pre-trip I was still scared as fuck. I talked myself out of it many times in the days prior. In the end there was nothing to fear, the experience was quite light and not intensive or taxing at all. Pre Trip To calm myself I kept looping this song repeatedly (from the 3 min mark) and the music heavily impacted the course of the trip. Especially the words towards the end God put a rainbow, in the clouds.... And I've had so many rainbows in my clouds.... I had a lot of clouds, but I have had so many rainbows.... So many rainbows...... Trip Report Being The ground of reality. It is pure existence, all dimensions at once. Formless. Property less. All encompassing. It can be fluid, but it can also be fixed and be rigid. Like it can be as rigid as a brick wall or the laws of physical reality. One does not know being through intellect, one knows through being 'it' itself. Being is circular. There is nothing to point to or from, but being itself. What happens after I die? You cannot die, you are every dimension There is literally nowhere to go Nowhere else you can go, except back to yourself So do not fear little one….. Before death all that existed was you After death all that will exist is you Solipsism The entirety of existence is never separate from you… it was always right here all along… What you are experiencing right now is the entirety of reality, everything else and all ‘outside’ is created from right here, you are never separate from it. Entire reality and eternity is all here right now, nowhere else This bubble of perception is all that truly exists ‘Inside and outside’ this bubble all exist within this bubble You have always known it that you were always alone….. it has only ever been you… there is no one else 'You are god' means right here, you are all that exists, because you are it. Pain and acceptance Look there is no easy answer or solution I’m sorry to say that pain is a part of life I can try to soothe it, but at some point you just got to accept it. Everything is found here, you see that’s how it has to be. You can’t escape pain, it’s a part of life, a part of reality. Life is bittersweet, like Leo said. It can be no other way. So accept your loss… accept your pain because what else can I do? Yes, it don’t feel good and I won’t deny that, but there is no other way. This is the way things are. Accept it as part of your life and experience. It’s not easy, I know it’s a tough lesson, but it must be learned. Not everything is going to feel soft. Reflection It was a nice trip very pleasant. I'm not sure about the solipsism part, that bit is kinda new to me. I know its quite controversial on this forum. At the end of the day though, it's validity doesn't bother me too much. Maybe there is more to it I have not touched on yet. It was more of a fun question I put in there because I was tripping anyway so though heh why not, lets see what comes out. The acceptance part was a nice shift for me. In previous trips it had showed me how to let go emotionally but from a position of strength. As in it showed me the strength in being able to let go of something and being free. This time, it was more focused on acceptance of suffering as a part of how life is. In previous trips, my ego had a tendency to ask things like 'Why me? Why did this happen? Why would God put himself through this?' and looking for an intellectual answer to soothe the emotional pain. But I'm reaching a point now where I'm starting to realize there is no good answer. The answer you're looking for to soothe this kind of stuff is a bit of a fairytale, its something your ego wants but it doesn't exist. It's not what your ego wants to hear, but that's reality. That's how reality is. But now coming face to face with that... Accepting pain as part of reality does not make me feel 'down' like it used to. Because people on the forum would write similar things, and whenever I read it was like 'oh shame...' but secretly I was still hoping I would find some kind of purpose or meaning somewhere. I'm coming to the point now where I am more ok like... this is God... this is reality... its the way it is and the way it has to be. It feels like a cleaner acceptance of things the way they are... I will continue working on this. Thanks for reading!

Yea I use Syrian rue, you can find some guides online. My tips are 3g is enough, any more and it makes me too nauseous. Don’t use too much water unless you want to drink a glass full of the stuff, it’s the amount of seeds that count not the volume of tea. also be aware it’s not safe to eat certain foods before or after taking it.

Yep I forgot to add this in the report, but in this experience I did touch on something similar before I went into being. I was considering the possibility - isn't this just chemicals in my brain? Perhaps I have been brainwashed by Leo after following actualized.org for years and now maybe because my brain is in an altered state... its indulging in all its fantasies. Why am I not seeing Jesus right now? How can I really know this experience isn't me getting lost in things I want to believe? Then I realized the very question 'is this a belief?' is itself a construct, with many assumptions behind it. It's a story in itself. The key is not to get wrapped up in the story, but to become aware of the one who is observing. To turn awareness back around and look at who/what is observing. Who is the one looking for answers? That is not belief, that is awareness. To become self aware is to become conscious of God. ah ok. But still not sure why one would want to snort, maybe its just me but doesn't sound like a very pleasurable route of administration. If you take it orally and put into capsules the DMT is tasteless. The only downside is the taste of the MAOI tea, but you can mix some apple juice in it and boil it down so its like a mouthful at most. Not so bad if you're not tripping super regularly.

hmm I haven't tried snorting it, but not sure why you'd want to. It's a salt form of DMT which can be stored for a long time. It is also a good way to take DMT orally, but you need to take it with a MAOI for it to be effective else your body just metabolises it and you won't get any effects. There are dietary restrictions for a few hours after taking a MAOI though, so make sure to research it if you try.

What do people mean when they say it changes their DNA? I think Leo said it changed his fingerprints? But wondering what you meant in your case?

I’m not as ‘enlightened’ as some people here and idk if I could ever say I understand your situation. But for me personally there were long stretches of my life where I felt ‘lost in love’ and I would basically just be coasting life and working on my life purpose. That lasted for a few years actually, but recently I feel that phase coming to an end. It’s hard to say exactly what caused it, but a culmination of life events which basically showed me I’d let myself go a bit and wasn’t enforcing my boundaries. I felt a fire inside I hadn’t felt for a while, but it spilled into other areas like my career and also financial survival needs. I realized I was only able to coast so long because of the years of hard work I had put in earlier in my life. Basically my coasting was somewhat of a luxury. Because I was lost in spirituality for a while, it felt like reality/survival needs finally started catching up to me. There are others depending on me financially so I can’t afford to dally and sit around. you titled it ‘I pursued enlightenment too early’ and I heard Leo say similar a few times too. I get it from one perspective, but also for me awakening was the greatest thing that ever happened and I think having it earlier in life was a great thing. Why would you want to have that at 60/70, when you can have it in your 20’s and live out most of your life with that perspective? That’s a great thing in my opinion. You go through all the heartbreak, tension, suffering, worry that life throws at you, but you also have this new perspective that you wouldn’t have otherwise. That sounds like a fun adventure to me. see now I’m back in the game, but at least now you know it’s a game. I look around and see I still have needs, and there are certain things I want to provide for people, that won’t come about from me sitting around all day. My initial hard work is what gave me the luxury of ‘coasting’ those few years, so I don’t mind putting in that work again now, because I’ll get the opportunity to coast again later in life, it’s more fun when I think about it that way. obviously you can never force yourself into it, for me I think it’s just survival biting at my ass again . Anyway I hope this helps you somewhat

The ability and speed at which you learn… I’m not sure if it’s so different. If anything it might be easier now with technology and chatgpt. Before you had to go to the library and crack open books, now you get it all assimilated for you. but I would say my motivation has changed. When I was in my early 20’s it was almost expected for me to dip my toes into various things. I had a lot of time to try stuff. Also I was more in the mindset of ‘building’ for survival so I didn’t mind grinding and pushing myself as much. Now I’m 30 I have less time to learn new things, particularly because I’ve got a full time job and other responsibilities that come first and I have to fit any new learning around that - which means I have less time. This also means I’m way more picky what I spend my time doing. I am unable to ‘force’ myself to do things as well, because I have a stable income now whereas before I had nothing. For example I look at the math and coding excercises I used to grind in my 20’s. Back then it was exciting as I could tell myself I’m getting better and can compete better. Now my survival needs haven’t gone away, but I really struggle to force myself to do that again - I’m like why am I forcing myself to do this? I don’t even like it. It’s really hard for me to even do 10 minutes, whereas before I would do it for hours. I look at new qualifications I could get, in my 20’s I would’ve gobbled those up just to get an advantage, now I’m like…. Why force myself to do this? so in that sense I learn ‘less’ and am less willing to try out new things unless they really capture my attention. Less breadth and more depth I guess.

This is related to your science point but I’m generally quite sceptical when I hear spiritual teachers talk about health. Especially when they present their health as a result of their ‘consciousness’ rather than their lifestyle. Things like you only need to sleep x hours a day if you do this etc. I don’t think a lot of them are very expressive of their own physical vulnerabilities and tend to present an aura of ‘I am above modern medicine because of my spiritual prowess’. They could totally just get cancer and die like anyone else but I don’t really see him presenting that image. It has more of a ‘lost in holiness’ , ‘I can mentally manipulate my biological processes with the power of my mind’ kind of feel then it can be quite disillusioning when he actually ends up in hospital and requires modern doctors to save him. Then he will say things along the lines of ‘I am very well and recovering faster than the typical patient’ but I didn’t see anything mentioning like he could just die from random medical issues beyond his control. At least this is the impression I get from watching him

This is a partial perspective but when I was in your position many years ago I heard a phrase ‘everyone out a relationship wants in, everyone in a relationship wants out’ it struck a chord in me and I remembered it, but didn’t have the life experience to go with it. 10 years on…. I’m like this is so fucking true again it’s a partial perspective, but I found as a man you want a relationship, only to find once you have it you want some variety, a few more relationships, then you fear being tied down and you want to be free of relationships altogether, then you want to become a bit like Osho its unsatisfactory at all stages but that doesn’t mean you don’t walk the journey. Keeping that in mind helps alleviate suffering a bit (but it won’t eliminate it totally). That desire you feel right now stays with you so the key is learning to become aware, manage, enjoy the fruits and use it intelligently rather than expecting it to go away at the next stage. I would say, enjoy your freedom. You interpret it as lack but one can also interpret it as opportunity. There is no rush

Yup I do. I dump it all into the S and P index they have there

thankyou Leo!

Why do I feel fear when I see/imagine that video on the blog post? Almost like it’s so Alien and weird, it feels like I am not sure if I want to experience something like that

Intro This is my second trip on N,N DMT fumarate taken orally 150mg with MAOI. TLDR:- scroll down to bottom for the juicy bits (last 2 sections). I reduced the dose this time as I was in way too deep last time. Even though I reduced the dose I felt like I got a deeper trip (probably because was not as powerful). I had this naive mindset of there will be an ‘AHA!’ moment where I suddenly realize oneness (as per my first trip). This came on much slower and gradual, but not in the form of ‘AHA!’ I can’t pinpoint exactly when I got to ‘oneness’, it was a gradual process which occurred naturally as the psychedelics took hold. Note to self to not let any of my friends or relatives take DMT unless they have watched Leo’s videos and done some work. I think it can be quite dangerous (I had quite a few suicidal thoughts on this, which I am still a bit shaken up by - scroll down to collapse of reality below). For this trip I wanted to contemplate on: Is reality infinite? (see collapsing duality section at end) Is reality really imaginary? (see ‘collapse of reality and imagination’ section) I didn’t quite know how to approach this. I read in Conversations From God you assume the state you want to take. So I was thinking, do I need to pretend I already know and then that will influence the trip? In the end somehow I think setting the intention was enough. If anyone has any tips on this be much appreciated. Trip Report 30 mins Visuals start. I actually saw similar visuals to my first trip. Purple fractal patterns overlaid on stuff and crystalline reflective surfaces shimmering through everything. It is only light visuals at this point. Love starts building. Love literally starts coming in on waves, like pulses from within my body. I get tingling sensations in my arms. 60 mins Visuals are light, still feeling good, feeling love, feeling good. I still have good motor control and can go to the toilet and walk about etc. Insight: The voice in your head is like a sports commentator commenting on the match. They don’t actually affect the play but like to pretend they do. The voice in your head is literally just commentary. It claims it does things, but really those things have already been decided prior to it saying so (so it doesn’t actually do anything). After something happens, it tells you how to feel (based on your beliefs). So don’t pay it too much attention, it kind of just entertains itself. The entire play is in God’s hands, but the voice in your head likes to take ownership of stuff and say ‘I did that!’, ‘that was me!’. That voice doesn’t actually have any ‘power’ of its own, it's just commentary on stuff that has already happened or emotions you’ve already felt. This is how it establishes itself. The only ‘power’ or authority it has is the one you give it (using imagination). My breathing feels very powerful and wholesome. With every breath it feels like I’m drawing in life energy and it feels wonderful. I close my eyes to focus on how good it feels just to breathe! I have this imagery that every exhale I am creating artwork. Like a blue saber-tooth tiger painting, or a giraffe, I feel like I am breathing life itself. Insight: I notice logic doesn't ‘feel’ right here. I was asking myself, how can I feel this love, when in my sober state? What thought or takeaway can I use to induce myself to feel this love in my sober state? I would like to live from here. But that's when I realized - love is prior to thinking. Notice you cannot feel love by thinking yourself into it. You cannot love cancer by thinking ‘yes love this cancer yessss send it love’. Rather love just is, it is prior to thought. So focus on being love, not thinking/manipulating yourself into it. Only the mind operates in logic on ‘why’ something is beautiful, or ‘how’ to do something. Love and beauty just is (so just be that). 90 mins I am having visuals but they are not intense or warpy. I am sat upright, looking out my window, playing music, hands behind my head just enjoying it. It’s not like the whole room is bending (like my first trip) but rather I focus on a few objects and they dance around a bit. I start to have thoughts like: ‘I am eternal I am everyone All is well All is beautiful All is good I am God, sat here basking in his own glory Gods exploration of itself is just never ending beauty and majesty Whatever you can imagine it’s all here Ask and it will be shown Nothing is off the table here You are the one making this And you can change it into whatever you want Your fear response, surrender it. If you are to be afraid then be afraid, but remember nothing can really hurt you’ I liked that, just being God, sat there and chilling the fuck out. Admiring the richness and beauty of random objects in my room. Then I feel an urge to close my eyes and let go. Go deeper and deeper. I get visuals as I close my eyes. These visuals are not happening randomly. Actually I seem able to influence them with my mind. I become aware of creating the visuals (to some degree) Insight: When I shut my eyes and saw all the visuals. I realized that actually you don’t need ‘vision’ to ‘see’. It’s all imagination. 120 mins (peak) In my last trip, all I mostly just remember was the awakening experience, but I forgot the part which followed afterwards, which was an intense mindfuck. I thought the above passage was the peak and I would start coming down…. boy was I wrong…. Ok… so this is where the REAL trip begins. From here until the winddown I am not able to write. The visuals become intense so I lie down. Here I am re-calling what I remember during this phase Insight: On the topic of infinity. There are no limits. Only the limits I create and I imagine. I define my own limits. You want to go ‘up’? Sure, we can go up, and keep going up as much as we like - there is no ceiling (unless you want there to be). The Universe is making this up as we are going along. I am having an orgasm with myself. This is a pretty crazy, multi-sensory experience. It’s like the feeling of my breath in my lungs, the soft pillow/blankets around me, the feel of bedsheets under my body, combined with multi-dimensional DMT visuals, being teleported out of this world and ‘I AM’ all mixed together. No words or descriptions can quite describe it. It felt good though. Even as I am writing this, I know I will forget what this part of the experience was like (until I experience it again and will be like oh boy here we go again…). For future reference though for me this is where the ‘real’ trip happens. This experience is pretty alien, it was like becoming a multi-dimensional being, although these words are pretty meaningless compared to what it was actually like. Maybe just remember in future this is an important and significant part of the trip (so don’t go off topping off on more DMT until you reach this point, this is the intense bit!). I was trying my best to ‘control’ the trip by calming myself and focusing on something. But then I realized: Insight: Doing and not doing are the same thing I can try or I can not try, there is no difference Who is there to try anything against, but myself? Who is there to do the doing, but myself? Inside and outside are the same. Inside becomes outside and vice versa. I am inside and outside all at once. Collapse of reality and imagination I became very aware of the temperature of my breath. The feeling was like having a blanket put over my face and was suffocating me. I was like shit, ok let me check reality real quick to make sure I am safe. This is where it gets a bit disturbing though. If I focus, there is an instant where I flash back to my bedroom and I am laying down, perfectly safe, no blanket over my face or anything. But then it hit me - How do I know this is actually reality? At that moment I realized I did not know what reality was. Reality and imagination are the same thing. This is a very serious situation, I open my eyes and focus. I see I am in my room. I close my eyes and I am in hyperspace. So where actually am I? What is reality? Which one is real? I don’t know, one is not more valid than the other. At this moment there was no difference. It was a bit scary because there was no single ‘reality’ I could check to see if I was actually being suffocated or not. Like I can see myself in my bed in my room, but is that reality or imagination? The vision of me being in a bedroom had no more authority than the ‘other reality’ of being in hyperspace. I kept trying to remind myself I am safe in this bed. Yet at the same time, I was aware I am not really in this bed. There is no real ‘safety’ net because I am creating my own safety with my thoughts! I can’t say ‘Don’t worry bro, you’re safe in bed just wait it out’, that's only true because I imagine it to be so! There is no ‘outside’ safe physical reality supporting me as a fall back on this trip. This trip and physical reality are one and the same. This trip IS reality. Insight: There is no difference between reality and imagination, they are the same. Living and dying are also the same (I don’t fully understand this last one but I have it written down, I think it was because I realized if there is no ‘reality’ then there is no such thing as ‘dying in reality’). It is pretty funny (although it did not feel funny at the time) because here I am having a full body multisensory orgasm, whilst at the same time trying to stay alive, whilst at the same time trying to figure out what reality is. I was aware I could choose to bite off my tongue at any moment. I was aware I could choose to clench my jaw and just break all my teeth. I was aware just choose to hold my breath and end it all right here. I was aware I could choose to imagine my death and it would be so. There was no safe physical reality ‘supporting’ this experience, because everything is imagination. Reality is groundless. If I see myself jumping off a building, I can’t tell if that is just me imagining things, or if I am really jumping off a building. Those two things are exactly the same. Trip Sitter? Disclaimer: I am not advocating against trip sitters, just trying to convey perspective from the trip. Same with logic at bottom. I was thinking hmm maybe I should've had a trip sitter? But then I realized the folly in this. A trip sitter could not stop me from killing myself (I am not talking from the physical perspective here). Because who is the trip sitter but me? How can me (trip sitter), stop me (Universe), from killing myself if I choose to do so? The trip sitter is part of this fucking crazy multi-dimensional experience I am having. To fall back on having a trip sitter protect you is to say there is a physical external reality where this experience is taking place. But for me physical reality had collapsed, what I was experiencing was all there is and the trip sitter cannot exist outside or 'step in' to intervene with that. Whether I choose to live or die is up to me (the Universe) not the tripsitter (which is of course still just me). Ie. There is no difference between having a trip sitter and not having a trip sitter (I am not defending this from a physical standpoint, just relaying what I was experiencing). The trip sitter is not separate or distinct from my experience. Ultimately there is only one consciousness which decides whether I live or die and that is me (the Universe). Insight: Even logic and critical thinking, are figments of this imagination. They are not like a ‘base platform’ from which I can use to analyze this psychedelic experience. Because they are imagined as part of this consciousness. So trying to use logic and critical thinking to analyze psychedelic experiences makes no sense, because these are not independent states that exist objectively outside consciousness. They are part of consciousness itself. So be wary when you’re trying to pass this up as ‘chemicals in the brain’ or some ‘drug induced effect’. This is only true when you treat logic/physical reality as something outside the psychedelic experience (which is not how it actually is, but you may need psychedelics to see that). Collapsing of duality/Infinity is both things at once/paradox This was written by me as I was winding down and able to type again (I have corrected the English to make it more readable). Being self and other simultaneously 'I am coming down now Good I can finally make some fucking sense Infinity can do all things at once It is not this or that, it is everything all at once Do you recognize psychedelics are no trick? I recognize this is an experience brought about by using a drug But also I recognize this goes beyond the drug you see? It’s both things at once Be wary of saying it’s just a drug (you will be missing the other part of it) Because that is a linear type of thinking, that is the human hat on I am human, yet I transcend humanity It is both at once There is no one to argue, no one to convince but myself Yet as I am typing this, I am doing so to share with ‘other’ as a trip report I recognize I am creating others So I am by myself, yet I am not, you see? I imagine others and I imagine myself I imagine typing this up on the actualized forum, yet at the same time I recognize there is no forum I imagine others reading this, yet I recognize I am those others and yet I am ‘not’ at the same time I recognize I am all alone and I am sovereign But at the same time I make an effort to write these notes to share with others It’s everything all at once. I am self and other at the same time There is only one consciousness There is no difference between ‘higher’ and ‘lower’ consciousness. Both of these are just me expressed in different ways. Even as I am typing I am trying to be conscious of What ‘filter’ I am putting on to put this message through Is this message being corrupted by my ego? But at the same time I recognize there is no difference between having a filter and not having a filter, it's both the same fundamentally. You see, is this a filter or not? Is this ego speaking or not? Is this a universal message or not? Realize there is no distinction. There is no difference. The filter speaking is the Universe speaking The ego filter is the Universe All messages are the Universal message Yet at the same time, I acknowledge a healthy respect that one must be careful what they say. I am so unlimited I could tell everyone to go on a murdering spree, yet I do not, why? Because I am both things at once and I respect both When I was writhing in ecstasy back there, I realized I could choose to kill myself at any moment All it would take is a simple decision. Yet I did not, why? Because I respected my own will to live in physical reality I am limitless, beyond death, yet at the same time I respect my own boundaries (even if they are ‘human’) Notice you have an idea of ‘levels’ of consciousness, you would say ‘I AM’ is higher consciousness and human consciousness is ‘lower’ consciousness. But really it's all the same consciousness. Both of these are expressions of me, so in essence they are the same. So while we say ok you’re not as woke as this guy, or there are levels to it… Yes there are levels, but there are no levels at the same time see? There are levels but at the same time it’s all the same….. We demonize human consciousness, but what is human consciousness but me? We imagine there are levels to awakening (which there are) yet at the same time there are none All awakening and non-awakening is all just me (the Universe) Notice if I am writing this from a ‘sober’/logical state you will not take my words as seriously, I need to convince you that you are in touch with some ‘higher power’ for you to label it mystical But you see higher or lower consciousness, is it all the same consciousness These levels are imaginary. Being ‘non-woke’ is not any different from being ‘woke’ it’s just a different expression. It’s always just me expressing myself with complete sovereignty at all times. Even the times when you feel vulnerable, human and weak, this is still me expressing myself with complete sovereignty. You never escape me. It is always an expression of me I am that tiny, limited, fragile human cowering in fear, and I am the unbounded alien multidimensional ‘monster’ which scares you I am both things at once So on some level I am glad of awakening, but on another level I realize I never really needed it. Because there is nothing to escape from, there is nothing to awaken to, it was all just me. But even before awakening it was all just me also… so it’s kind of funny both things at once There is only ever one consciousness, it’s all the same That consciousness can express itself in many ways, sometimes it is correct, sometimes not (who is judging?) but it is always the same consciousness at all times just expressing itself in different forms The thing you call mundane I appreciate really is mundane (I know I am you) but at the same time don’t think that is any less spiritual or different from being in fucking hyperspace. It’s all the same consciousness. End Thanks for reading everyone

Yes. often I pair this question with - And what the fuck am I doing?

I tend to take n,n DMT orally. I’ve had 7 trips so far but never encountered any beings. Never done 5 MEO or any other psychedelics either. My dosage is 125-135mg, this is currently my upper limit on having the motor control to type on my phone as insights hit me. Any higher and I am pretty much incapacitated, slightly traumatised and recall isn’t so good since I’m relying on memory. psychedelics impact people differently, but for my understanding are people saying you tend to see other beings on higher or lower doses of n,n DMT? On my trips I monologue/speak to myself but I only ever recognize it as myself as God. As a newbie I tried 200mg once which was way too much but I don’t recall seeing anything other than myself

How does one differentiate between a voice in their head posing as a demon vs actually being possessed by a demon? how do you know it is a ‘demon’?

Hi everyone, I usually boil 3-4g Syrian Rue as MAOI, wait 30 mins and then take DMT fumarate. This method is proven for me and I got solid trips off it. The tea is gross so I'm trying to find easier alternatives. I found this x5 Harmala extract off eBay (powdered capsules) which I was hoping to just be able to substitute for my Syrian Rue tea. I took 2 capsules (should be ~3.5g Syrian Rue seeds equivalent) and followed the same procedure. I saw some light shapes, good relaxation but the trip never really 'took off'. The only thing in question here is if I am taking the right amount of Harmala extract and if the timing (using the extract) is correct. Next time I can try to take 3 capsules of Harmala extract (~5g Syrian Rue, but I would never make a tea with this many seeds) but otherwise I'm a bit confused why this didn't work for me. Does anyone have any advice? Thanks everyone.

Thanks for this. Are there any advantages/disadvantages to which type of pure extract to use? Or are these three types more or less the same? Just wondering if there was a preference there

yup always on empty stomach. Yea I will try up the dose thanks

So I recently got into synthwave, love the spaced out and chill vibes it gives you. It was a pleasant surprise to see some of those songs on Leo's playlist too hahah Love this one - could drive all night to this Also check this out if you don't know it already. The sounds remind me of my DMT trips lol

How does one administer 5 meo malt? Does plugging still work as with 5 meo DMT?

How does the Universe decide what to do? I've heard this expressed various ways, although nothing quite scratches my itch. I've heard Leo say 'to Maximise love' also the Universe is just 'being'. But I mean like how/why does the Universe decide to move the leaf from point A to point B and how does that relate to my individual free will/control? In the sense God does it all, but how does that even fit together? Not sure if it is a bit off topic but kinda related.

Can I please ask what the aim of this is? do you actually sleep shorter hours? or do you sleep the same number of hours but feel more refreshed after the same amount of sleep? Does that state count as sleeping or not? Do you spend all night there or is this supposed to be more ‘do for a few mins then go to real sleep?’ thanks

Sometimes I do a little prayer before the trip (I literally pretend to be a bit like Jesus) something Father something something As a human, there is something beautiful about reaching out to divinity for help. I know its phony, but it puts me into a state of gratitude for what is about to happen. And it makes me feel better than sitting there shitting myself waiting for the inevitable.

Almost drowned at sea When I was like 5 years old I was at the beach. Got knocked over by a big wave and pulled out towards the sea. I did not know how to swim. I didn't know what happened but I remember looking up at the sky whilst being underwater and it was very peaceful... Somehow my mum managed to pull me out the water. Slipped on side of a mountain I went trekking in the Himalayas when I was 16 - I had no climbing or trekking experience. I was walking down a mountain called Stok Kangri (go Google it), 100m from the summit down the side of a glacier. I was terribly afraid. Usually as safety precaution you are tied to other people, so if you slip the group can hold you up. So it happens on the way down I got separated from the main group. It was only me and the local Sherpa. He knew I was scared... and in his 'wisdom' decided to totally abandon me on the side of this mountain. I think he wanted me to prove to myself I could face this challenge on my own. There was only one path down so I could not get lost. I was incredibly tired at this point and I was at altitude. I took one step and my crampon caught against on my trousers, I started to slide down the side of this glacier. I managed to use my ice axe and stop myself from picking up speed, climbed back on the path and made it down safely. To put it in perspective, I only got taught how to use an ice axe the day before, and had half an hour practice. This trip was with my school, they never actually expected anyone to use their ice axe. This was supposed to be a trekking trip for people with no experience. I didn't tell anyone, but no way should I have been left alone on the mountain in that situation. If I had kept sliding for a few more seconds, I'm not sure if I would have been able to stop myself from going all the way down..... River was deeper than expected When I was camping I woke up and went to the river to get some water. It was before sunrise, completely pitch black. I had only my headtorch on. My headlight shone onto a rock underwater. In my drunken sleepy stupor, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to put one of my legs on that rock so I could bend down and scoop some water. It was fast flowing, the pan want out my hands, my leg went underwater up to my waist. I still dont really know how I got out of that. But I was thinking it was pitch black in a fast flowing river... if I had somehow not kept my balance then good luck finding my body....