effortlesslumen

Im motivated by my lost potential and what the possibilty of regaining it holds and what could be beyond that. Even if it is just 1% that is regained which was supressed by selfsabotage. And me allowing myself the possibility of expierencing joy and love.

I had some dreams, with half sleep visuals and paralysis that are similar but i do not know anything about how to deal better with this. I can share them if you are interested. Maybe contacting good entities with your abilities.

Here are some examples: Tending to project a father figure on people and the unconscious need to get attention from said person, resulting in being upset when the expectation is not fullfilled. Getting the feeling im a little child again, when a situation arises that puts my selfesteem to the test and a feeling im not allowed to speak my truth. Thoughts of blaming that annoyingly arise when something is not as perfect as some unrealistic expectation from the subconscious. An unsecurity of a child that gnaws on me.

Thanks i will think about this when i experience this perception the next time, maybe it is another step to resolving the problems its causing for me.

I know there are exercises for this, but i keep on sliding into the same ones, because everyone is stuck in their boxes of ego survival, so it is only encouraged it seems. So it puts me back in a spiral to copy others. Of course this makes sense and is good to some degree or better than the alternative, but im mindlessly thrown into this boxes. It becomes a threat to survival. Find your authentic self someone would say, but that would be the same?

It could be that im hyperaware of how my way of acting changes when im around certain people, but i dont to this willingly. Maybe more like imposter syndrome. But also my emotional state is highly reactive to the ones of others. It sometimes feels like i feel there being as a whole. Than on the other hand it crystalizes as hiding my intellect of fear from the reactions of other people getting an disturbance by there current perception of my person. And sometimes my intellect as it is self fluctuates. Sometimes around people and sometimes when im alone , but more rarely. Like my roles get activated with the flick of a switch.

Yes, but a visualization of the ego that looks at itself, otherwise it would be meeting god.

9, out of 40.

Enhancer for YouTube™ - search for this web browser extension. It lets you customize your youtube to a certain degree. Like hide, related videos (to not get triggered to click another video) , hide comments (comments are sometimes useful), adblock, and others. Those simple tweaks are great to use youtube in a more aware way and educational. What also helps me is setting an intention of use before using it mindlessly. After struggeling with this as well, i made a similar approach and got more control of this tool.

https://github.com/0x192/universal-android-debloater This is helpful. I used this to deactivate youtube on my phone without being root . But be careful what you delete, you could end up breaking your phone. You should be on the safe side when sticking to the recommended list in the software options. Its android only.

Cool, have you tried to meet yourself in a dream ? That would be interesting.

Interesting i did not know he is doing interviews. Atleast i did not think about it. Thanks

Clips of the documentary Planet Insect from Curiosity Stream. The full documentary is an amazing example of the intelligence of survival with breathtaking camera shots.

Nice, im curious what you have to say about it.

meeting himself

People. The status quo of goodness

Limitations and boundaries. Failure without resentment

Being a medium of balanced value

I get it. As am I.

Being dissmissve can certainly hault a healthy discussion and leaves you in a state of stagnance and sabotages openmindedness. Atleast when it keeps you in a illusion of being more capable than you are. If you meant that. I certainly was not open enough to the topic.

Maybe there is some entitie or person called lucifer with a higher form of being and intelligence, but he/she/it would only be part of the whole. As a archetype for development it certainly can assist growth, but I would not stay there or loose myself in the idea. I dont see it as an ultimate mean of human growth and it maybe leaves you to be a zen devil

If you are refering to my statement, it was more of an opinion, but by my writing it seemed like i wanted to state absolute truth, when in reality i did not awaken to love. So i only stated it as my truth. I wanted to be straight forward with my opinion. Im humble enough to say that im very out of balance and need to do a lot of work. So in that way you are right. But i still would have rather said on word more than fearing to speak from an arrogant point of being. How can i be a master when i constantly see myself as a slave. Also Im not sure if I would want to be powerful even if had every possible means to be so. Depending in which context you refer to the word powerful. Do you mean in way of not being helpless or in a way where you are in need to controll others and being selfish?

The concept of lucifer is nothing but another form of a regressive longing to the earned love of a father. Going beyond conditional love is needed to leave these things behind and to reach enlightenment. Basically the ability to love no matter what untied from the ego.

Learn to enjoy boredome. Maybe some walks in Nature without any electronics. I would not call this boring but the constantly overloaded dopamine flooded brain would. Or meeting some therapist to talk to maybe as part of establishing a healthy new routine. Depending on your situation.( I dont want presume something.) Most of the time someone distracts oneself for a reason so might working through emotional aspects of yourself could help. Yoga, Writing, Setting a higher goal, mindful eating without distraction, making a slow unimpulsive mindful act out of your habits (just like a tea ceremony) to really become aware about them and ditch them in the long term. Removing refined sugars from your diet and fast food, and processed foods, as a start. Visualize what you want to become in life and ask yourself what really supports this process and what does not. You could also answer one question in your journal daily: What drained you of energy ?

Sounds like a living brain to me. I dont know why they call it intelligence without a brain in that video. There are similarties, not as complex as the human brain but it reminded me of it.