Mjolnir

Hello, I was wondering if anyone could point me towards some resources in regards to the following: I'm trying to figure out if i have some unconscious behavior where I try to not feel, or in some cases stop myself from feeling, to protect myself from being hurt. I'm a deeply emphatic person and whenever situations come up where someone feels deep sadness or hurt for example I deeply feel for them sometimes tearing up as well. Whenever this happens I notice I move towards stopping behavior and go to a "not feel" state. I used to be bullied as a kid and maybe this is a defense mechanism from back then. I also notice that whenever I feel slightly cheerful or had particular joy I get fearful of some bad thing happening and move to that "not feel" state, or like a "prepared" for something state. Curious if anyone knows something!

Hey I recently started reading Psycho-cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. It's about changing your self-image which I guess is the same as your Identity. I find this very interesting for making change, as I've repeatedly tried to for example get into exercising, but eventually stop after a few weeks. Same with being more healthy, trying to learn a new skill etc. The concept of being able to (re)invent yourself is very interesting to me as it'd be way more exciting if you can play a conscious part in shaping yourself into the person you'd wish to be. Besides that, I really want to change some life circumstances but find myself repeatedly slacking/stopping. I'd assume I could change that with changing my self-image so to say. I have a couple of questions and I hope anyone could help me with these: So far (abt 100 pages in) I guess the book is mostly about visualization, trying to feed your brain with experiences (real or imagined) to create a different self-image and thus create new results in your life. Does it matter whether I visualize as though I'm looking through my own eyes vs. seeing myself from like outside of myself. Also, how important is feeling in this process? My currently difficulty is in actually experiencing the feelings and so the visualizations are just thoughts linked to the self-image i'd like to create but without for example being able to feel what it'd be like to actually life it. Are there other ways for changing the self-image besides visualizations? How do beliefs and values tie into the self-image? Are they a result of a changed self-image or do they sort-of work together. Do you know any other resources I can get into besides the book psycho-cybernetics? Cheers

@jake473 Hey thanks for responding and sorry for the late response back. I haven't checked into the forum for a while, but I'm glad I did. Happy to hear you're on a road back and massive props to making it such a commitment. Thanks for the resources and the new angles I can tackle my situation from! I've had a very sedentary lifestyle ever since my early teen years. I did some exercise here and there, actually running as well (which I eventually quit because I kept getting calf issues). The issues became noticeable literally from one moment to the other and developed after that. I've had horrible posture basically always and to add that to the sedentary lifestyle was probably the origins. I currently work a VERY active job but whenever I'm free I'm basically behind a computer. I've had many examinations of my body to find the problems and basically two things came out of it: one was lack of abdominal strength and the other was the fascia. I did get some tips at the time but couldn't really follow them up since it involved the gym which was closed at that time due to the corona. I'm currently working on the ab strength which is a slow process and tbh I have no idea what I'm doing. The fascia thing, I have no idea where to start. I haven't found anything that noticeably made a difference in the symptoms so it's just doing stuff in hopes of noticing an effect at some point. I think I remember the PT telling me to basically need full body stretches but again, no idea where to start. Hearing your process is scary to me as you seem to go focused and deep into the exercises. I find it incredibly difficult to notice what I'm doing during the exercises. I don't have a clue whether or not I'm doing them correctly, which muscles I use, I don't really feel them and I often notice other issues after the exercises. I'm so unaware of what's going on in and with my body that I don't notice what I'm doing. So being this precise and aware seems kinda alien to me. Cheers, thanks a lot and keep going!

I guess I'll post here from time to time. To clarify thought, possibly spark idea's, and maybe get someone clues. I've long been searching for a reason why I don't physically feel those good feelings. I'm talking about passion, joy, excitement, interest, drive etc. Those feel-not-so-good feelings I do experience. That belly feeling when I get anxious for example. Or energy when I get angry, like I want to throw something or kick something. That feeling when I get a big shock, knee weak arms spaghetti... you get the idea. But I can't recall moments where those feelings that felt good were in my body. The energy, like those feel-not-so-good feelings but than that feel-good equivalent of that. I'd like to add that, I can notice when things happen in life, like I feel a physical response, one that I can't override mentally so to say. So say a bad phone call, I can feel sick in my stomach. It's there, it just happens. There is nothing I need to do, it occurs. Same with frustration, or maybe anger, fear, worry. Sometimes those feelings just exist all of a sudden. But the feel-good equivalent just doesn't appear. Nothing like "hey I felt cheerful for a sec" or "I had this feeling of enthusiasm or passion for a bit". Just non existent. The mindset is good though, no depression, sadness, anger, frustration, no negative beliefs about feelings/emotions. I can laugh, but it doesn't give a physical feeling. Calm person, aware of my thoughts, they're not in any way I'd guess could prevent the feel-good feelings. Positive, hopeful and endless possibilities type of outlook on life. Done many out-of-the-comfortzone things but haven't made a change in my physical feelings. Went on vacation, walked on burning coals, jumped, cheered and hugged with people. Cold showers, cryochamber, tried pot cookie, breathing exercises. Changed diet, exercise, computer habits. Visualization and affirmations. Meditation habit, tried gratitude, saying more nice things to people. But all no change in how I felt. Currently in a state of light frustration. I linked a high probability that these feelings-issues I have are connected to tight pelvic floor issues. Not sure whether or not it's true, as I haven't resolved the pelvic floor issues. In fact, I wish to, rather yesterday than today. But I haven't found what worked yet. And everything costs major energy and commitment, think months of daily exercises or stretches, but without certainty that it's the solution. It's all major energy investment, but there is no return, only potentially some return in a far future. No feel good for spending the energy. It's only investing without a return. No motivation, desire or drive to do the exercises, just a "should do". I don't know, sometimes I wonder if maybe I'm doing something wrong. Do I really not experience those feelings, or are they maybe there but extremely subtle? Do I do something mentally, like a habit, that makes me experience life the way I am? I don't know. cheers

@JonasVE12 Hey thanks a fuck ton a lot for those messages. I read them initially a day or two after your response and it did hit a sensitive point. I did refrain from responding as it might've been a slight motivation that made it seem like I'd do something, so I waited. My initial idea was "i need to go to the gym again", but I felt resistant to that idea and wasn't willing to do this. However, I remembered how I was able to do a 1+ year of meditation of daily habit by just tracking it in an excel document. Just a simple date, total time and finishing time. It worked very well for me (I stopped because I got such bad posture issues that I couldn't do it just sitting anymore). So I started doing just simple beginner ab workouts I got from physical therapist and I've done them daily now for almost three weeks. Today I added a simple kettlebell thing, again very low level, but the idea is to do it consistently and build upon this. So yeah, thanks for inspiring, I went from not doing any exercise or at most 2 a week to doing them daily for almost three weeks now. I hope to build upon this but I'm more-so focusing on doing the thing that the results. @Batman Thank you very much for your response. I guess my idea for the self-image thing was not to "be a certain way/someone" but more-so trying to find a way to do the thing that I wasn't doing and could potentially improve my life a lot. I find it difficult to fully comprehend the ideas you're trying to explain, maybe because I'm not ready for going that deep yet? I appreciate your answer though and it's very thought provoking!

@JonasVE12 Thanks for your response! I'm not necessarily shying away from effort, I don't mind the effort mostly, but I think for me it's mostly the unwillingness to take the step of starting. Let me explain my situation briefly so maybe it's more clear what I mean: I've had some physical issues for a number of years now (if interested, check my previous posts). I've been told by different physical therapists what they think is the cause and how I could help solve it. This involves strengthening my ab muscles, glutes, and stretching some tension areas to just name some. These could POTENTIALLY fix the issues I have, but it's not sure. It'd most definitely help to do regardless, but it's not certain. Doing these exercises takes time for results, like months probably, and if they'd solve the issue and give the results I assume they might do, it'd improve my life tremendously. The problem I have is that I have zero drive to do these exercises. I feel like I have to willpower my way to do these things. I do some light stuff at home abt 2 or 3 times per week, once I start I commit to the exercises, but the starting is the big step. Also I don't feel like I get anything out of the exercises, it's just a give and no takes, so to say. My thought was maybe I can sort of create a self-image like "I do whatever it takes to solve the issues" as I've only tried to whiteknuckle my way in the past without results. I read that people try to change things but don't change the way they see themselves and thus fallback to their sort of "thermostat setpoint". And thus the idea. When I read the part of how discipline, committed and focused action I got a bit confused. Because when you ready the part above and then think I have to be disciplined and committed about this, I understand that as it'll be another word for willpower my way until it sticks. As the thing I mentioned above is something I don't really want to do, but sort of "have to" because it would potentially solve these issues. I don't know, I feel sort of mind fucked here I'm mentally going in circles about this. (just a thought:) Like, let's say I have a goal. To get to that goal it requires some sort of effort to reach. To make it mentally worth to go after the goal it'd have to mean something to you in some way. Make it worth the effort. I guess that'd require you to be able to image as though the goal is achieved and how that would make you feel. And thus fueling you to get to your goal through discipline, committed and focused action. My (limiting) belief here is that, ( I think but not sure that) due to the physical stuff I haven't been able to physically experience those feelings that'd make it feel as though it'd be worth putting in the effort for the result, to reach the goal. Actually, my belief is that, once the physical shit is solved, then it'd actually be able to physically feel those feelings. (And so, could I inhibit some kind of belief, value or self-image that'd make it so that there would no world in which I wouldn't do x,y or z). Anyways, hope that all makes even remotely sense lol. Have a good one!

@hyruga I hadn't made the link to law of attraction because I thought it was more goal oriented rather than shifting your identity, but I guess it'd be similar. Thanks for the tip. So let's say I'm a couch potato and want to start exercising. Tried many times, basically going on willpower, but eventually just stopping few weeks in. I guess you'd have to change your self-image to be able to stick with it? Like, if you'd define yourself like "I'm a gym nut" no way you're going to be a couch potato right? Or maybe even "I'm someone that sticks to their goals and gets them no matter what". (I guess there's many ways to define yourself that'd be beneficial) So then the idea would be to visualize the way you'd be if you were a gym nut? Visualizing going to the gym, loving it, feeling great doing stuff. Seeing yourself with the cloths you'd want to wear, going places you'd go and experiences you'd have etc.? Fully experiencing as though it's already true?

@jake473 Hey sorry for the late response, I haven't checked for a while now. I'm 27 now, I think the physical stuff started around 20-ish maybe 21? Well, I've had one evening maybe a year or two into all the problems where my pelvic floor just relaxed after some diaphragm breathing. It was like a lot of pressure was just gone, it felt light, calm and relaxed. The muscles just released, like you flex a muscle for a very long time and then finally release it. I recently spoke with someone on this forum who mentioned something along the lines of the energy moving freely in a healthy circumstance. But maybe due to the muscle tightness (basically flexing the pelvic floor muscles chronically) that energy isn't able to go freely. But then again, I can feel the feelings of dread or anxiety for example in my belly so I don't understand why a pleasant feeling wouldn't be possible. Could you elaborate on your issues, how you experienced it and what you did to change it? Thanks for your reply and have a good day!

Hey I went to the physical therapist who told me the issue was my abdominal muscles, or lack thereof so to say. I got some very low-level exercises to to work with. Apparently I lock up my lower back as a form of stability, which is definitely noticeable with the easiest of ab-exercises. So I now have to work on some exercises to build up the strength so my abs can eventually take over the stability when necessary. @Thought Art Thank you for the suggestion. What is qigong? I have never heard of it. I'll google around to see some of the exercises. I'm hesitant to buy new books as the unread stack keeps growing @puporing Nope no trauma or repetitive strain as far as I remember. Although I've had minor issues althroughout my life. @Ry4n Hey thanks for your suggestions. Physio said no specific problems other than that the lower back takes the hit for all the stability that is necessary. Ab muscles are very, very weak and thus I have to exercise those.

Hey everyone, I recently started exercising but I notice that my lower back is an absolute weak point. I have to be very careful because it may start hurting or I do exercises the wrong way and use my back when I shouldn't or overcompensate with it. I want to fix this badly as I think it may also be a contributor to the pelvic floor issues I've had for many years now. Whenever I search the internet it's inevitable to stumble upon the anterior pelvic tilt thing. From all of the physical therapists I've had none told me it was the case for me. I do however have very tight hamstrings and whenever I do the stretch called Downward Facing Dog and the hamstring exercise called Seated Leg Curl I do feel a burning sensation in my butt, this is a different sensation than you'd get when exercising certain muscles. Also whenever I do the stretch called Cat/Cow Stretch my back/pelvis start shaking whenever I get in Cat part of the stretch (so basically whenever the pelvis is posteriorly tilted). Doing this exercise feels comforting for my back whenever I hold it a bit in that position. Also, I'd like to add that I've been sitting behind a desk for a very big part of my life, both hobby and study. I had/have the worst posture doing so and the pelvic floor issues started when I was sitting behind a desk 40h per week during study internship and went home to do exactly the same. My lower back has been a weak point for as long as I can remember. I'm not sure what the best approach is as I really want to solve this pelvic floor issue and also like to improve how I can perform in the gym. This back thing is holding my back with many exercises and somewhat in life as well I guess. But idk how I should go about this, focus on the back specifically, is it the hamstrings is it something else. Hopefully someone can help! Have a good day and thanks!

Hello I was listening to this video on YouTube which made me think (i time stamped it): In the video the guy says something along the lines of "purpose is basically you making up in your mind that something is important and then doing it because you feel it's important". I'd be interested to know if that's accurate, and then, would fulfillment be the feeling you could get from doing the activity or progressing in a way towards that which you deem important? If the statement about purpose basically being something you find important is true, then I would like to discus something else as well. It's a habit (I think) in my thinking that sort-of removes the level of importance of those thoughts. Let's say I get an idea like "hey I'd like to learn spanish", i'd get into a either one of these ways of thinking: Hmm, I just create that idea that I find this important. It's not inherently important, I can live without. In fact, I just made up that this is something important and I could just change it if I want to. Basically standing several levels back from those initial thoughts. Like an observing mode Or I'll think, hmm... will this create the fulfillment I'm looking for or will I just end up feeling like I feel right now only with a new language under my belt? I guess mainly the thing is, that I learned that all thoughts are just thoughts, and they are made up. And being so conscious about this, I feel like is in a way also hindering in enjoying or starting new things. It'd be interesting to see if anyone recognizes this and maybe can elaborate or maybe knows how to counter this. Maybe you know how I can research this some more. Thanks cheers!

Hello, Over the past weeks I've grown to learn that I'm very much living from my head. I've posted numerous questions on this forum regarding "feeling", where I was searching for the ability to feel and experience feelings. The last few weeks multiple things started to click and I realized that if I had to point to where I was experiencing my life from, I'd point to my head. Constantly thinking, analyzing, rationalizing etc. Luckily the past 6-or-so-years I had the ability start the personal development journey, and only just now recently realized that I unknowingly trained my quality of thinking. The ability to recognize limiting beliefs, thought patterns, behavior, comments, words, and I got to improve in those. Throughout the years I was constantly listening to different things on Youtube, podcasts, I did a course or two, and dabbled in some habits/skills but never had those life changing things you keep hearing everywhere, atleast they weren't obvious. But I'm happy that I now realize that I slowly shaped my quality of thinking and got to develop that part of me. I used the ability to stay in my head as a defense mechanism when I got bullied as a kid. But it stuck when the bullying stopped. In retrospect it grew to be very handy, as numerous different physical issues had a big impact on my life. The fact that I could stay in my head meant I could keep a distance and be less affected and sort-of continue to live a life. The defense mechanism has served it's purpose, is a valuable skill that could come in handy but it's time to put something else to the foreground. Now I'd like to learn how to "get into my body", the ability to experience the sensations, feel my heart, feel feelings and start to live from my feeling body, rather than my head. I'm curious if anyone has any ideas on what I could do to develop this. I used to have a meditation practice but looking back that was centered around my thoughts and thinking and observing. What I'm currently doing is right before I sleep I just lay down and try to do a sort of body scan. Where I try to feel different areas. I notice I move to for example my legs or belly occasionally , but I shift back to my head on automatic mode. I like the exercise and it's effortless so Ill keep doing it. But I'm curious if anyone has other suggestions, are there certain exercises or what not that I could do? Is this a common thing you see around? Thanks, have a good day! Cheers

Hello, I'm currently doing the value assessment pass 3, where you go through the list of the master values and figure out "which of these values is most meaningful and would make me most fulfilled to embody"? I'm not sure if I understand this exercise correctly. Are you supposed to pick the values which are most meaningful to you today right now, or which ones you think you want/need in the future? Hope anyone can help clarify, Thanks and cheers!

Hello Everyone! (Unfortunately my previous post got lost in the recent forum crash, so I try to replicate my question as good as possible. I read two responses, one which I'll try to answer down below, the other was "pm'd", which I didn't get the chance to read and is lost by the crash, sorry for that.) I've asked this question multiple times on this forum already, but as I try new things and create a better understanding of it myself I ask again in hopes of finding the right answer. The challenge I have: I experience what I think is a lack of positive feelings (the feelings we'd like more of). What I mean by that is that I don't even know how feelings like being happy, joyful, fulfilled or loved feel as I don't recall when I last felt them. Different events that seem to trigger friends or colleague's joy don't resonate at all. Like the idea that it's almost weekend, a bonus, walking in nature, going to some event, going to friends, shopping/buying something, even the idea that it'd win the biggest lottery. They don't even spark the tiniest bit of feelings. I can focus on my body, feel the sensations and notice what I feel, yet it's neutral. I don't feel any of those sensations or feelings. However, when there's a bad news message I do experience those feelings in my body. They are noticeable, they jump out, they don't feel pleasant. The "negative" feelings (the ones we like to feel less of) they do come up. Being anxious, frustrated/angry, or sad. They happen, they come up and I can notice and feel those in my body. They don't happen often, I guess a somewhat healthy amount, but they exist. This makes me know that I do feel my feelings, yet not the ones I'd like to experience as well. My standard mood is neutral, sort of indifferent to things. I don't mind if it rains or when the sun shines, get to go home early or work overtime. No negative or toxic thoughts, no self loathing, signs of depression, no stress, no anxiety. (Of course I do get the occasional negative thoughts but that's more related to situations and seem to float away relatively quick) Kinda rational in nature, think before I react and mostly calm in nature. I'd like to add here that I have a sort of chronic pelvic floor issue where it doesn't want to release easily. (for years I did extra effort to "hold up" number 1 and 2 when the issues started basically flexing the muscles a lot) I've tried many different physical therapies and what not but it didn't resolve yet. I have it mentally handled, no issue at all with just little physical troubles as I've learned to deal with it and symptoms heavily reduced. Yet, even when these issues were at it's peak, I was very solution driven, not in a victim mentality. I add that last part, as at times I've thought that it could be a contributing factor to being unable to experience those "positive" feelings, yet I haven't found a clear answer to this. Also, I'd expect that there are people with more daunting physical issues, that are in actual pain or what not that could still experience those "positive" feelings. What I have tried: Last time I asked about this someone suggested a dopamine detox, as I noted that I tend to spend my spare time behind the pc gaming or chilling. So I did a complete detox on entertainment (pc, tv, music and phone) for like 10-11 days, but I didn't feel any different. I've had a 1+ year streak of meditation for avg. abt 15mins a day, but no changes. I tried dietary changes, daily cold showers, taking vitamins, I have a very consistent rhythm with sleep, eating and I cycle to work. I do absolutely zero alcohol and drugs and I'm on no meds. I have had longer stretches of exercise (although I currently don't exercise). None of these seem to influence the core question I came with, although I can notice slight shifts when I don't do some of these. But that's more in terms of overall mood and not in the complete lack of those positive feelings. Also tried psychologists, journaling, massages, different physical therapies, cbd. Gratitude exercises don't really work as far as I've tried. Setting goals or fantasising about the future, no avail. I still engage in the behaviors that make me feel more comfortable like listening to music, playing guitar or playing some games. But besides listening to music, they seem kinda empty not really engaging but more something to keep busy. The pelvic floor thing and this lack of positive feelings thing basically led me on the way of self development. I done my NLP practitioner (very useful tools, yet barely and use for me as I had troubles with the exercises that were based on experiencing things. The exercise where I could use my head were fun and useful though). I read a lot of books, listen to so many YouTube videos and tried audio courses. I even went overseas to America for a Tony Robbins event, but even that didn't change me emotionally although I tried to go all out. Basically what I want to say is, I tried so many different things but I haven't gotten any glimpse with anything that I'm on the right path. I think my mind is screwed on "correctly", no mental patterns or behaviors I can find that hinder me with solving this challenge. I feel like this hinders me in life as I can't find a clear direction on where to go to. The goals I set dissipate in a few days as it's just a thought without emotion behind it. Making changes in my life are pure willpower at this point, which doesn't prevail when I get tired for example. I think this was a bit longer than the previous one. Hopefully this paints a clear picture, and hopefully someone has some ideas what I can do. If you have any questions or want clarifications for something please let me know! Thanks for taking the time and have a great day!

Hey, thanks for you response! 1) I feel passionate when I hear music that hits me the right way. All the music I like work in different ways for me, some are special, require the right setting or moment. Others can be played any time or when I feel the need for that type of genre or song. I listen daily, but don't overindulge. The special ones I listen to rarely, so they don't loose their magic. Sometimes I get inspired by seeing a movie, reading a book or listening to someone. I think it boils down to when it's about a way of life, or someone that's admirable or jumps out to me for different reasons. Sometimes they make me think "hey, let me go and do this as well, or something similar" but the next day it may be something I'm not be interested in at all anymore. 2) When I look back at my childhood I think about it sort of neutral. I remember some fun things, the laughs and the joy and excitement about events coming up or games we used to play. I used to also get bullied as a kid (being kinda chubby), something I obviously didn't like at the time. I remember at a certain point saying "you can say whatever you want to me, it doesn't do anything anymore". Looking back at these moments where I got bullied or attacked, i can't even associate with it really, I don't really crawl into my skin at the time, but moreso think of it as how I'm now. There aren't specific memories that make feel bad or good from childhood really. They aren't a state-changer so to say. My association with my childhood, challenges and experiences in life, I don't resent any of it, because it also got me to where I'm at now mentally. I see them more as opportunities in a sense, or things that help me shape myself and grow. The whole "safe-enough" type of thing I learned over the last year, is something I think I can work on. My levels of expression, like even singing in the car alone (which I didn't do), I'd feel like "what if people would see me". Being joyful, or happy, or some sort of expression of good feelings, would seem like it'd trigger a "wtf" or a question for the reason of it to the people around me. Basically, it's an association with doing something weird for me (I know this could be a big reason ^^) My upbringing was good, parents were very present, healthy relationships and behavior I'd say. They are very rational though (and so am I now as well lol), and I remember that for example anger didn't really have a place. Being silly or weird would often either jokingly or seriously be followed with a "act normal" type of thing. The emotional experiences I'm looking for today I didn't see much as I grew up, humor had/has a big place and there was a bit of expression with music in terms of a bit of singing or whistling to the music. Last two are very important to me as well, although I don't whistle or sing much . Overall, reserved, rational, calm, "living from the head" and... "normal" (define normal huh...). 3) I'd say I'm very aware of my negative emotions, and most of the time I'm not associated with them. I feel and experience them, but I can notice them, observe them and figure out why do I feel this way, what caused them. I don't act upon those feelings, although I might respond more sharply or annoyed at times. I deal with them by distraction (for example on the pc), listening to music, eating, maybe try to play some guitar. Waiting or trying to gather more information. I tend to turn to myself though, be alone. 4) I'll try my best to explain this pelvic floor thing (TMI incoming :D). Around 6-7 years ago I started all of a sudden have really high need to go pee. I'd go and get back to my desk and sit down. Almost immediately I had about the same intensity of needing to go again. I'd easily go +12x at work alone. It'd feel as though it'd already run down my legs, and I did my hardest to hold it in. (imagine drinking A LOT and driving in a car over speed bumps while you desperately need to go) This turned into also feeling sick in my stomach, like I'd carry a plastic bag in my backpack because I felt like I could maybe vomit at some point. It'd basically control my life in a way, I didn't want to go out, go to the city, store, friends places, new places etc. I liked having a toilet near. I'd sit at home, I finished my first studies somehow and quit about two or three months into my new one. Sat at home trying to wait or find a way until it was resolved. Eventually after many doctors visits, even a surgery where they checked on stuff, lots of tests and what not, it turned out to "pelvic floor hypertension" or something, I think. I had to go to pelvic floor physical therapy, got some exercises but it never resolved completely. However, one day I was doing some breathing exercise and for some reason everything felt to relax. I explain this as imagine having your shoulders up your ears for years and all of a sudden they relax back in their normal position. I felt freedom in my belly, relaxed muscles in my legs, pelvic floor, belly, like I wasn't trying to hold my pee again. I remember thinking "oh, now this feels more easy and how it's supposed to". Well, when I eventually went to bed and woke up, it was all back like it was those 6-7 years and I haven't been able to replicate it. Tried all the exercises, many different physical therapies and what not. But got that same release or close to it. Nowadays I have the symptoms under control, their intensity is like 20-30% of what it was. I know all the signals aren't as desperate as they seem, many of them increased by my focus and worry on them and I stopped doing that. I go and do whatever I want. I can work full time and when symptoms flare up I manage them. The reason I think this thing might be associated to my question about emotions is this random thought: Maybe those positive emotions don't have the freedom to roam my body as there might be a lock of muscles somewhere. Maybe there is this physical thing that makes it difficult or "impossible" to experience those physical sensations due to the tension there. I like to say that all throughout those 6-7 years my focus was on resolving this issue. No victim mentality at all, just something I wanted to solve. It even brought to self development, learned sooooo much and exposed myself to so many new things and ways of thinking. It's sort of a blessing in a curse, or whatever the saying is. Another bible verse, but I hope this clears up your questions and if you want to know more please let me know Have a nice day!

I really appreciate all of you responding (and mindfucking me into oblivion lol). I'd like to say something, not as an attack but in conveying my thoughts. Please, I don't try to sound like an ass here I notice I feel a bit frustrated as I try to convey my experience to you all. I'm trying to find the words to describe this experience in which I use words I hope portray the best picture to you. But I notice that some of those words are taking very literal, like "i experience lack" for example. To me it feels as if those words jump out here and fade out the rest of the story. I'm aware of the power of words and what they can actually tell, but right now it's as if I wasn't able to convey my experience in the right way. I say for example "I experience a lack of..." in a descriptive way, hoping to explain in a way that could be understood, rather than saying my actual feelings about this (I don't have a feeling of lack. Like: the bowl of cat food seems to be empty). I don't know if I shouldve even typed this, as I can go meta on everything I say and pinpoint things that jump out to myself. The reason I come here with this question is that I'd like to be able to use my emotions to change life circumstances. Thus far it hasn't worked in the way I'd like to, as if I'm running solely on willpower. When I try to dig deeper, I try to look at my emotions. Interests, sensations in body (what feels good what do I want more of), and I notice that it feels indifferent, besides when there's for example some piece of bad news. ("negative" emotions, the ones we like to feel less of. I know theres no good/bad thing about emotions, it's basically a message for you). Basically: I'd like to feel those feelings in my body, which could help me guide my life.

Thank you all for your responses! I have tried this before, not for atleast a year but for a couple of weeks. They felt like just words without emotion behind it, so I eventually stopped doing it. I do get triggers from music, which is actually one of the healthy things I have in my repertoire as a state changer and something that evokes slight feelings at times. A beautiful voice, crazy guitar solo or bad ass riff. When the timing is perfect that's what can move me. Also, stories about people that seem to be committed to something, or crazy driven on their specific thing. (take a David Goggins, Miyamoto Musashi, Tony Robbins) Focus on absolute mastery in a field, like a guitarist or singer. There are things that seem to peek my interest or trigger a slight change in mood. On your second point, I'm curious, do I get the right idea that maybe my thoughts are the thing that inhibit those feelings? That by thinking "hey its cool I just got this or went there, but I still don't experience those feelings" I sort of set myself up to not experience what I'm looking for? I tend to have a habit of trying to go deeper or beyond for example on a goal. What I mean is, I try to go further and look for the "absolute thing". A thought example: I want to learn x song on guitar -> I want to be flawless in playing it -> I should become a guitar virtuoso. There's always a "and then what?" question following. I sort of praise myself, or identify myself on thoughtfulness, going "deeper" or away from the superficial. Could this be an obstacle to those feelings I want? (Note for self: identity, beliefs and expectations might play a big role here as well) I've read the Power of Now twice, but I experienced it as a difficult book to understand. I re-read it, and potentially get it in my native language if I still feel the same! Many thanks for the thought provoking answer! I don't really understand what you mean I have some trouble understanding your question correctly, but I hope this answers it somehow. First of all, FUCK man I try to clarify my thoughts on this and explain but I basically keep running into different beliefs, expectations and my own perceived observations (which I fill in with my own mind and might not be actually true to others). I've been at this for like 30minutes but can't seem to get it to words. I'll have to commit another time to answering your question as I have to go work now. Thank you for waiting and thank you for the mind scrambling

@EmptyVase I've been having this Idea as well but I've yet to dive deeper in this. I have been dabbling with thoughts that for example "I cant feel good yet because its not save/solved/good enough yet or what have you". Also or the Idea about what Will they think when I feel xyz? I should Stay flat-leveled so I'm not weird. Tbh there are multiple roads that I keep going in but they all seem to change in relevance all the time. Do you maybe know any resources I could learn from to create a better understanding and see if it hits home? I'm planning to do a detox day to check IT out within this week. Im curious! Thanks the responses everyone!

@Nahm I'm sorry I don't really follow what you mean. Could you maybe elaborate?

@Nahm @EmptyVase Thank you both for the time to respond, I really appreciate it. There is a lot of information and questions to go through and I'm slightly overwhelmed at the moment as I don't know where to start with responding etc. I'm going through trying to experience and learn about the things you have both shared. I'd just like to say that I have yet to find any activity/excursion/way of expression that makes me feel a certain way, as it seems rather flat to me. During different activities like playing an instrument, exercise or journaling to name a few, I don't experience any physical feelings. It's just that I'm mentally in different modes. There is no physical response flowing through my body as I'm aware of or can notice. To put it differently, maybe I can explain it like this. There is a great graph you can find on Google Images when searching for "mapping emotions on the body". Whenever I get a "bad news call" or I'm anxious about something or shock, there is this physical response of the emotions I feel in my body. They are very clear, they jump out so to say. I'm not somewhere else mentally, completely disconnected, I actually notice the feelings and experience them. It seems to be me those emotions we would say are "unwanted" or "unpleasant" (for sake of explanation) come up from some stimuli outside or a thought for example and before I know it I feel physically that which corresponds to that emotion. However, I feel as though the emotions we would say are "wanted" or "pleasant" are not there. I can't remember the last time I experienced them. There is no physical response I get from an activity or experience that tells me "hey this feels good" or "that's exciting or pleasant". It seems as though its flat or I'm indifferent to it. There is currently no outside stimuli or thought that create this natural response of a good/wanted feeling like those "unwanted" feelings do. (yet ) Mentally I'm still aware of any changes in my body, I don't see why I wouldn't notice those physical sensations in that regard as I'm aware of what I'm feeling as far as I understand. Is it that those "unwanted" feelings have a lower "threshold" to create a physical response? Like an alarm in a sense, that's more dire and thus becomes apparent quicker and more noticeable than those "wanted" feelings/emotions would have? Like they're very important for our survival and thus jump out more noticeable? Hopefully you can let me know if I'm even thinking in the right direction. Thanks for your time and the responses so far. Have a great day! Cheers!

Hello @EmptyVase, @Nahm, I hope you appreciate I tagged you as well, as I value the responses you have given me in the past. In hopes of guiding me in the right direction. Thanks a lot for this post, it was as though it spoke to me. I found this in my quest looking to "feel again". When I say that I mean the feelings that feel good, as well as the ability to be vulnerable and accept/share/talk about those feelings that don't feel good. I'm close to finishing my course in NLP Practitioner and it helped me make improvements in my abilities and willingness to do the latter. I also created a way better cognitive understanding of my behavior but I've yet to feel those feelings that feel good, any at all. I notice that I try to create moments of feeling those feelings that feel good by for example eating or entertainment like youtube/gaming/music yet they are short, if there at all, and shallow (not fulfilling or truly satisfying). Throughout the last few months I used introspection and the course days to try to learn if or what is holding my back from reaching that ability of freely feeling. I learned that I live in my head and I'm vigilant of my surroundings. Positioning myself in such a way that I can't be hurt by others. Sheltering my inner world from the outside world as much as possible. I'm not sure if this is the predominant factor or the idea that it's not save or the right moment to "feel" yet. I notice that I try to learn and understand this all cognitively but my ideas shift around even as I'm writing this. I'm currently not sure if I'm even thinking in the right direction or if there's anything deeper or something else at play. I was hoping if you could help me point in the right direction. I'm drawing a blank as I'd love the ability to present my inner world in such a way to someone else that they could guide or suggest a way to a change. Like asking for directions on a map or help solving a puzzle. To be honest I have no idea how to get to the point of feeling freely. Experiencing those emotions that feel good, like love, contentment, fulfillment, joy etc. Also, I don't know who to ask or where to look for. Therefor I was hoping if you had any ideas as this post just jumped out to me. Thank you for this post, I have a lot of tabs open from the links shared here, which I'm checking out straight away. Cheers!

Hello Actualized.org, I have previously asked about the same problem that I've been trying to solve for many years now to no avail. Hopefully someone can help guide me in the right direction or even have some answers. (The previously asked questions aren't necessarily the same as I'm just fishing for potential things that may cause it. This is the first one and this is the second one.) So I think I have this problem that is that I have a lack of feeling. I'm talking about the ones like drive, gratitude, enthusiasm, happiness, joy, love etc. I actually experience the feelings of frustration, anger, annoyance, tiredness etc. My overall days are very flat, like I'm indifferent to anything. No "jump in my step", no joyful lets sing along with a song, or energetic or you name it. I'm not down nor angry nor frustrated nor depressed although I experience those emotions sometimes yet on a scale to 1-10 they're probably 5 at max. I find this so important to solve because I think I need those positive emotions to both feel good (which we all want of course) and to use as "fuel" to chance my life's circumstances. Because currently I'm using food as a "feel good" and I play a video game to get some sort of feeling but it's all a quick fix or a shallow/empty thing. There are a number of things in my life I want to change but I feel like I constantly have to rely on willpower as I can't seem to create those positive feelings as a drive. Like the whole pleasure and pain idea for making changes doesn't evoke a single feeling and thus I keep trying to rely on willpower which ultimately doesn't result in the change I want nor does it last. At this point I don't know what to do to find out how I can get those feelings. I've been to multiple psychologists that didn't prove of any use. I tried diets, meditation, cold showers, music, visualizations, incantations, different physical therapists, New Mood from Onnit, CBD and even space cake. I even went to Unleash the Power Within from Tony Robbins and I didn't feel any different about anything. I'm starting to think maybe there is something wrong, do I need to do like a complete medical check up with brain scans and all? Are maybe my pleasure and feel good centers blocked or however that works and if thats even a thing. Am I "just unable" to experience those emotions? Is it psychological or even subconscious? I can think of so many potential things but I'd have to spend soooo much time and money and effort into completely diving into all those things and I simply am not curious about those. I'd like to start working on my life yet I feel like there is this thing that needs to be solved first. Does anyone know what I can do as I feel like there's just so much that could potentially be the thing. Anything of help is help Thanks !

@ted73104 Hey Ted thanks for your response, hope you're doing well! I find this difficult to say as the majority of the time I'm in like a neutral or flat mood. I don't really live in anger, frustration or any of those other types of emotions. I also don't notice a big spike when these arise and when they do it's mostly just because of triggers I can't fully connect with anything or any recurring ones. I actually very easily let go of any negative feeling towards others so I don't really know how much I resonate with what you said. Although it's worth "investigating". @Nahm Thank you for your response Nahm! I'll have some reading to do! @universe Good to hear you got through this as well! I hope you're doing good now! Is this exercise purely to experience the different sensations in my body? So I can maybe get a feel(haha) for it and know how and where to look for? I'm hesitant to try this with negative emotions as I don't want to linger in those feelings for a prolonged period of time after the exercise. Also during the situations where those ADGLFAP emotions may arise I'm conscious about not "going deeper" into those. Maybe this is a control thing and maybe that could be the case with the beautiful emotions as well. But how necessary is it to "go there"? @Setzer901 Thanks for your response! Hope you got out of the boat and on the shore a) Do you feel the emotions of fear, anger, frustration, annoyance the most? - Those are basically the ones I experience at all, besides being "flat" or indifferent. b) Do you talk to your friends in terms of feelings or do you talk intellectually, from the head? - I'd say intellectually. Any speak of feelings is mostly feelings from the head, not from the body. c) Are you vulnerable when meeting new people? Or are you guarded? - I'd say I'm guarded. I used to joke about feeling like the new one when a new person arrives. Although I seem to "befriend" people quickly. d) Are you too in your head? Or do you engage with life from the body? - Yes, I'm experiencing life from the head I think. Trying to explain this but maybe in a way as if I'm removed or a step away from "life" so to say. Not in direct connection.

@universe Hey universe this is crazy I was logging in and wanted to comment on your post called Integrating Emotions. Thank you for that post and for your response here. I'll dive into the things you mentioned. I'm going through the course right now so I'm curious what it'll bring. I also started doing Step 1 from your post currently just focusing on opening my chest and heart. I find this difficult but I'll keep practicing. One thing I'm curious about and I wonder if you can inform me or maybe point me in a direction of how I could figure this out. Many of the exercises regarding emotions, some of the life purpose points discussed in the life purpose thus far (I'm around the core concepts now) and also your post on Integrating Emotions talk about moments where you experienced certain emotions. Or trying to evoke certain feelings like gratitude for example. I've tried many times in different circumstances to do these types of exercises or create these types of "results". But I haven't gotten the faintest of hints that I'm experiencing something. Also I can't recall times in my life that I actually did and this I find difficult because how do I know what to do when I don't know what the outcome is like (I'm using "know" not as a logical way here). Basically bluntly said: how can I find out if and how I can feel those emotions if I can't recall experiences where I did?

@commie Hey commie thanks for your response. I think maybe the way I wrote things left a different impression than I intended. The scale of 5/10 was simply to explain that those negative feelings aren't intense and are just to explain that I do experience those and they're on a level I'm happy about. It wasn't meant to be a measurement of how well or not "I'm doing" with those feelings. I'm not trying to scale or compare to others just to give an indication of sorts The thing about the pleasure and pain idea was something I learned from different self help books etc. Basically saying, if you want to change a behavior you'd want to link "massive" pain to the behavior you want to change and massive pleasure to the new behavior you want to have. Also for choosing your direction in life, your life purpose maybe and things your interested in, there should be some sort of feel-good coming from them right? So those positive feelings so-to-say would be used as a guide in life right? But if those positive feelings aren't there then it'd be worth investigating why not in my opinion. Leo talks in many videos about passion, an exciting dream or vision for your life etc. (Those are big things but even in the smallest of things) How are you to know which direction to go in if even there is not the smallest of hints? I find it difficult to explain and please don't take my words for my literal "feelings" and like it's a "fact" as they're going through a language barrier. I'm aware of the importance of the words I use but when I try to explain here it's not my literal feelings it's what I think would convey my idea in a way that'd hopefully register to the reader. When I write " I can't feel feelings" i mean it in a way that "I currently experience a lack of feelings that I know I can have yet have difficulty with FOR NOW". Wow long response I swear I'm not crazy