mydiamondsandpearls

Hi! I can totally relate to how you feel. I also come from a very specific conservative ethnic group and, although I live somewhere else and can enjoy all the freedom and independence, I often feel the weight of that part of my identity on my shoulders (it's a strange mixture of insecurity/isolation/feeling like there's no community I belong to). I spent years trying to figure out how to lift that weight: through complete denial (it helps that I look like any other white girl) to researching the history of my family and the ethnic group I belong to (very gloomy history of repressions, ethnic cleansing, wars and discrimination). It didn't help at all. I eventually found the cure: if you do something with passion and it becomes your career, it fills up the biggest part of your identity. If you spend 40+ hours/week doing something, your ethnic background looses that power over who you think you are. Because you are what you do. Artist, journalist, programmer, lawyer, doctor, etc. Eventually, you find a community of people who do or like the same things. And people recognize you as someone who does that thing (when you become really good at it). Idk if this method helps you, but it helped me. Pick something and become really good at it.

FYI Maya also offers free student's version of the software that you can use for 3 years

Nice job, man, keep going! I'm also studying 3D (you can see some of my work on my self-actualization journal). I agree with Leo, when you get your laptop, you might wanna start exploring software like Blender or Maya (for modeling) and ZBrush (for sculpting). Great progress for someone who only started this year! Good luck!

Hi! This is such an interesting topic as a self-actualization. Good luck on your journey!

Even if I sleep for 5-6 hours my productivity and motivation levels just drop (compared to 8). This video talks about it:

@Yimpa I'm not in the US/Europe, I do enjoy walking alone though. Good music and comfy shoes is all I need:)

Make sure you take care of your body physically. Get enough sleep (super important!). Exercise or walking (walking is amazing for mental health). Eat healthy. Baby steps with social situations. Good luck!

I do. It gets really dark where I live too, so I try to go for a walk when it's not too dark. Taking Vitamin D supplements might also help.