Schizophonia

Wait a little longer for her to succumb to my energetic influence. 👺

Not particularly in my experience.It was mostly brutal.

He takes too much ketamine.

You didn’t read my message. She's not the one who says black people are more dangerous.

@NoSelfSelf It was a way for princess to remind those who say that blacks are more dangerous that there are still dangerous whites or who seem to be here and there. As for the story of whites who have more libido it seems false to me lol but there is nothing hostile here.

Day 4 The first time i took LSD was at 18, I was in a tourist port city in the south of France, next to Spain (Cannet en Rousillon) to start studying computer science before finally switching to philosophy studies. I lived alone in a small studio for only 250 euros per month (lucky eheh) right next to the beach. It's a bit new age to say that but the vibe there is quite Mediterranean: It's very flat, there are palm trees everywhere, you can most of the time be in a t-shirt even in winter, it's calm, mild and "warm". I got up at 6 or 5 in the morning, i took a shower and i dropped this 150ug (an average dose) blotter of 1p LSD. For the first hour i was going around in circles wondering if my blotter was fake, damaged or underdosed, but at the same time i noticed that i was curiously starting to laugh to myself; At first i thought it was a placebo, but it intensified and i even noticed a slight tightening of the jaw. The confusion increased and suddenly, i noticed that one of my plants started looking at me; It was a yuka, and the end of the stem, where the leaves are, had started to look like a face and this screw was moving to look at me. Laughing, i continue to walk around the table a little then settle down cross-legged on my sofa bed before noticing that my other plant, this time plastic, had started to look at me too and seemed to resemble the snail from the SpongeBob cartoon 😅 I listen to some soft music, "ave verum corpus" by Mozard if i remember, and i start to swing from left to right as a dance, accompanied by my two plants who stare at me fixedly and questioningly. Finally, more or less suddenly, i enter a form of samadhi and start to cry with ecstasy, it was like an orgasm of bliss and i laughed while wondering "hmm does this blotter really work or is it a plabebo? hmm probably not a placebo in fact, lolll". A little later i lie down in my bed listening to a compilation of more psychedelic music, a little more "dubstep"; My jaw is clenched and locked in smile mode, i'm like frozen in this ytb channel pp way : https://www.youtube.com/@dr.jeanmichelcohen . I talk with my discord friends, the letters and sentences i read are distorted, they move and change color. At one point for some reason i think of my father, me who usually follow quite self-centered and lack empathy, i felt a powerful feeling of love for him, I saw him with beauty and compassion. The second time i consumed LSD, a few weeks later, the amount was double (300ug). I drop, i move a little, i lie down and notice that the substance rises much faster than the last time; After 30 minutes, maybe a little more, i notice that the light on the ceiling begins to move in a circular way, my mirror in front of me this time, begins to delicately get closer to me, as if it were getting bigger and bigger. The visual distortions accumulate and finally i feel the powerful urge to lie down completely and suddenly, i fall into an alternative dream world in its own right. I am like in an old memory of when i was in my mother's womb or baby and my brain was still trying to understand the world; It is a world like in "play dough", at one point i see humanoid letters in play dough on what seems to be a theater stage and i intuitively understand the relative structure of the ego, "We all play a role" i say to myself. Another scene this time, where I'm basically totally unconscious, looked like a 2d software that represented my consciousness in a way that was otherwise conceptual: There were buttons and one button led to "%DUIGDIGUDUIG565746587687898873JHGDGFDGYUSGYSDGYUSDIIOJDOIHSHIOSHIOSDHODSHOSDHO°°°°°°°°", and understanding this "%DUIGDIGUDUIG565746587687898873JHGDGFDGYUSGYSDGYUSDIIOJDOIHSHIOSHIOSDHODSHOSDHO°°°°°°°°" with my current, sober state of consciousness is like trying to understand the principle of a car with the brain of an ant. I "wake up" on the way down, my body is moving in all directions, my first reflex is to get up and start turning in circles while thinking about what is happening. At that moment my brain can no longer understand how to function with the "external" reality, I feel like a person locked in a straitjacket suffering from an extremely severe schizophrenic crisis, it's as if my attention was immersed in my "conscious" imagination, in my delirium, and that any interaction with the real world was out of reach or required a superhuman effort; I wondered "what happens if I stay stuck like this? I'll end my life locked up in a psychiatric hospital". Finally of course it falls back and turns into a classic LSD trip, i have a lot of strange visions, an armonica noise that keeps coming back, turns of phrase without head or tail; This trip didn't make much sense in itself, it was essentially very manic. That said, it was always pleasant, LSD is always pleasant, probably thanks to the dopaminergic action. Finally my last LSD trip was at the same dose, but it had nothing to do with it 🫨. The rise is characterized by a euphoria and the feeling of a powerful sexual excitement, at the same time as this pure and hard sexual excitement, aggressive, which smells of sweat in a strange synesthesia, manifests itself i begin to see powerful visions of black and white lines, magenta, visions with a very "jester" vibe in general but also tropical with this time very warm colors, a synesthetic vibe of tropics and heat, and suddenly somewhere in the trip i see what claimed to be my "sexual energy"; It was an very "electrical" voice and a structure (did not have a human form, but a form nonetheless), the description that would work best would be a "dominant transsexual dressed in black chrome clothing". She explained to me that she was my "sexual energy" and that she was the force that pushed me to fight in my life to survive and become stronger. A little later, suddenly, i partially incarnated (like Leo with his "kangaroo mouse") a planet (gaia?): It was a level of energy much higher than what humans can feel and made their usual prerogatives and centers of interest seem totally outdated. I was shaking like a jackhammer, i even sent a video of myself shaking on discord lol; I was only a small planet far in the periphery of a divine galaxy and yet i was already knocked down by the cosmic rays of what seemed to be, at the center, God, or at least a divine atomic bomb, a divine tsar bomba. I could only shake, it was neither particularly pleasant nor unpleasant, let's say that it was pleasant by default and at the same time the only thing to do was to submit and let myself be led to this cosmic field like millions or even billions of times superior energetically to anything that can, once again, usually happen in human consciousness. Finally the trip calmed down and i was careful not to get caught by my roommate, i just went quickly to the bathroom pretending to be normal while looked like a fallout robot, swollen pupils, who walked at x3 speed lol 😅. The trip finally calmed down quite quickly. It was for my experience with LSD, i will make other posts for the other psychedelics that i have tried.

He is a leftist. Yin is empathetic and willing but mean and pervert, Yang is reliable and rationnal but stiff and brutal.

No the negative polarity would be that he is unpredictable, belligerent, more sociopathic in general, selfish etc. Don't call those who disagree with you idiots, that's your ego talking. There are different energy structures with different agendas. I think @Leo Gura is wrong when he says that people do not recognize a fascist, i think that people who are moving in this direction would not be against the fascist even if it is not yet conscious, quite simply.

You are mentally ill. I say the positive polarity which explains why people vote for him.

But the media environment is the fractal reproduction of what is happening libidinally, energetically among Americans and by extension the universe in general. To be down to earth, these media exist because they receive audiences; It's like the tiktok algorithm, it only imitates the usual thought loops. Currently the big topic is the fear of being deprived (deprived of women, money, security because of immigration, big cars because of inflation and environmentalism etc; Of losing the phallus in general as Lacan would say) and politics revolves around this game. As the American egregor does not feel phallic, it heads (like a woman) towards a tall man, with plumpness and a big head, who seems to be permanently on ketamine, rich and neo-liberal who embodies the phallus. When the American people are again more prosperous and therefore "yang", they will lose the phallus again by giving it (like a man who gives his sex and his sperm, and by extension in general his resources to a woman) as proof that he is yang, then tending more towards yin in the process (by generating more yin people in later generations); And this will translate into victories on the left, more socially liberal and deconstructivist policies, less power to those who hold capital, a stronger dominant state, see communist experience, etc. If what i'm saying is clear.

Because Trump is tall, strong, uninhibited, has a god complex in general, he is quite warm and has agreed to do interviews here and there even on famous YouTubers, he is also a liberal. It is very attractive if you are a man, it tends to outweigh the negative polarity. Beyond the layers of rationalizations, even intellectualization, politics is fundamentally libidinal and most people choose and stay in their political camp as soon as they are interested in it and project their survival strategies.

What maoi do you use ? I have syrian rue seeds in my home.

I follow a French-speaking Swiss YouTuber who has a Nigerian parent. He explained how the first times he went there he was afraid because Nigerians have a habit of violently arguing over nothing at all, so to suddenly come back strangely normal.

Sometimes it seems like op is a crazy leftist on clomid or aromatizable steroids lol. Men cry less for biological reasons, and because their nervous system learns that it is useless to cry in x situation in their case. Women should not be in the military, they are weaker, will not be respected as much, and are less able to stand war scenes. The one who inspired my seminal retention adventure had a military friend who committed suicide for this reason.

He should go to France No OCD will resist.

He eats like 2000kcal a day at most when he is particularly active, and they're "whole vegan" foods with relatively low bioavailability (beans with olive oil, broccoli...) Also aswhagandha is supposed to improve sleep since it inhibits HPA axis.

The salty forms are suitable for snorting, and you don't need an MAOI it's like smoking it. What would worry me is the taste.

I don't even know it existed ? Can you snort it ?

Yeah that makes sense since it increases motivation. I might make a post about it but i also noticed that it actually decreased the stupid (neurotic) karma and made me fall back on healthy and balanced desires.

Day 3 Today i was able to sleep relatively well. It is a mistake to say that masturbation helps you sleep, orgasm is indeed sedative (in a dirty way, through prolactin) but actually increases anxiety in the medium term, and in the medium term i am talking about, without even needing to contemplate too much, just with a little attention, a significant increase in anxiety only a few minutes after orgasm. Seminal retention allows you to stay in a more grounded psychic state that helps you sleep. I thought about experimenting with Ashwagandha but it actually risks inducing dependence, since it acts as a mild gabaergic and antiglucocoticoid, i will stick to improving sleep hygiene by avoiding blue light and practicing a little visualization/meditation. There was a time when i was constantly sedated in the hope of being able to sleep, but it was systematically a trap because it only takes one dose to suffer a rebound effect and sabotage falling asleep the next day. Mirtazapine was the drug that worked best, but it was so sedating that i felt like an old rat hollowed out at the bottom of a drawer the first few times i took it, the other times were better but it was always very sedating. Pure and hard antihistamines (doxylamine, cyproheptadine ...) are less bad, when i was traveling or generally had to get up in the morning for some reason i often took them systematically, the last time i had recourse to it was during a trip at the end of 2024, it is effective but it turns me a bit into a boring and bloated zombie. Benzodiazepines are the ones that sedate the least and have the least effects on appearance or mind, they are mainly anxiolytic, but suddenly they tend to suppress libido more and sleep is of poorer quality under benzodiazepine, it feels a bit like teleportation the next day without remembering dreams lol. It is also not rare, i do not know if it is because of the peak of the medication or on the contrary the fall, to have horrible nightmares because of sleeping pills, like dreaming of being or seeing people being massacred. I'm going to manifest a Peugeot 208 for the next Christmas 🫨, as my parents would say it came to me like a desire to shit lol. It's a French car, I want to support the French industry which exists less and less because of the tax hell, bureaucracy, and inflation. But if most French cars are ugly shit worthy of a communist hell, the new Peugeots for a decade have been able to adopt modern bodies that increasingly compete with German cars. The Peugeot 208 is magnificent, and it's a versatile city car that's not too expensive. The pureteck engine is suspected to be particularly unreliable but the electric version doesn't seem too bad.

If you do this you will condition your brain even more to function in a feminine way, it is to push back the Oedipal detachment even further. With seminal retention, the motor drive occasioned on the contrary pushes one to undertake actions, make decisions and this progressively reconditions the brain/ego/persona towards a more masculine and tough version.

You are my half Asian hidden brother ahah My neck is normal, maybe it's the photo that give you the impression otherwise.

Stop cumming + do blood tests.

Eheh

I often do push-ups so if I have energy i can exceed 50 push-ups (real ones) in a raw. But i never do pull-ups. When i trained a little to do them when i had the opportunity i had managed to exceed 10 but only in supination. Today i could probably do few pull-ups in supination and one in pronation lol.