Schizophonia

I see it like that: 1)Energy, vitality come from movement, libidinal investment, openness to language... 2)In case of immobilization there is a stagnation of vital energy. 3)Recovering energy by libidinally disinvesting oneself from a more reduced fantasy to something more holistic, by "getting some perspective," is a masculinizing process. 4)Recovering energy through "inflation," by sinking again and again into a fantasy, is feminizing or even "psychoanalyzing" If you are around women, men full of e2 for whatever reason (clomid, steroids...) or people who are a bit psychotic, you will find this inflationary logic in them, they have a lot of energy indeed but it's always the same thing. No I just open other sources instead of pumping one more. The less i have ego, the better i feel and the stronger/more masculine (more assertive, enterprising, even sexually dominant lol as i described somewhere here) o feel. You can gain energy by investing in a place over and over again, as I mentioned above, but it's feminizing/hysterical. It's also stressful/exhausting. Well, go get sodomized in a cocaine orgy in blood if that makes you happy. I'd be the kind/stoic basketball player who likes to wander in nature, see lots of people, tinker, etc. There is still a possibility i just didn't understand you lol.

Lol.

@Nilsi You spread a lot 😅 I'm not against libido, i just dont want lose it in a mediocre fantasy as you call it. When you dis invest yourself from a fantasy, it doesn't supress libido it just redirects it towards more obvious, tangible things. Actually, where I think I might agree with Deleuze is that it feels like a pure increase in vitality, regardless of how it is spent. It's as if I'm basically a potentially infinite source of energy, and identifying with meaningless fantasies makes me weaker and stupider, "at the height of the baseness of my fantasy", while identifying with more tangible, holistic phenomena actually makes me more powerful, beautiful, smart, and happy. And a more holistic a fantasy is, the less it looks like fantasy...

@Nilsi I just put my face in pp and will ask Leo to change my username into my first name because i had a kind of illumination that having an abstract avatar and username tacitly hidden the will to hide myself in a reduced imaginary order. Presenting myself in this new way bring me closer to symbolic order and indirectly real. Like the masculin/affirmative energy which is correlated with the supremacy of the symbolic order allows a further step into real, because of the diminition of libidinal investissment into a heavy imaginary order i talked about before. If you see what i mean.

You're the perfect wife. If I were tall and black I would flirt with you.

Even before your medication ? I can sleep 6 to 8h per night these days, i just have to pay attention to my mental speech and coffee. Btw i will probably buy some 2cb for my birthday lol It's supposed to increase libido a lot, or at least "sensuality feeling" . I will send you the photo to taunt you.

Trust it or not insomnia didn't increase my appetite but increased my libido. Another form of quick dopamine eheh.

I never tried "African food" but i consumed several time West Indian one and it tasted very good. I have to bu red palm oil, it taste good and smeels good when it cooks; it reminds me when i went to west indian restaurants with my father when i was little.

@Princess Arabia or @Sugarcoat who will have the bigger appetite.

Survivorship bias; we put this deduction precisely because we are in a kind of scenario somewhere in infinity who allows it. And actually with contemplation you hit here and there narrative (and time, in general) is an illusion. Like the fact of becoming a "human" from nowhere, then living is a giant ball who turns around another giant ball on fire etcetc, any of this doesn't makes sense in the absolute. It seems human ego is designed to be particularly tenacious and prevent the manifestation of too unknown events, than maintain the illusion of a narrative.

The number of ads at the end lol.

It would be very painful for a normal woman. A woman who loves you.

I changed my pp, i will probably ask to Leo to change my username too. I don't want anymore playing characters including on internet. It's the problem of forum and internet in general i think, given that people are anonymous they take advantage of this to to deprave oneself by creating personas that actually in fine pervertedly distances them from greater potential; more ego hypertrophy. I think the biggest reason people tend to be excessively bored in general is because modern life is articulated toward tools (politic, spirituality, drugs, internet...) that allows directly or indirectly ego hypertrophy, "stucked" ego. I must "bring down the citadel" as a certain french politician would say lol.

Oh thank you Kid, you're nice. To thank you i have candies in my van.

@Leo Gura You could ask for participate to the emission 🤔 It would be easy for you, would bring people to your work and and products, and it would promote nonduality.

Fake you know you're a S tier introspector when you turn insomniac. Jk

You have justified your spiritual venture on the fact you are virgin, have a bad car, and in general a a disappointing life. You are the one who declared all this. The most caring thing, little energetic gift i can do is give you height. Yes. Of course, i am in mirror in you and vice versa. You don't know + it doesn't has importance and if you want to dissolve don't say this kind of sentences. Don't capitalize on your suffering. Actually i just found this pseudo funny lol. I will probably ask for changing it one day btw. Nevermind.

That's true. I responded that because i intuitively felt less the real craving for infinity/awakening than finally succeeding having a pleasant life.

Does someone has news about Martin Ball's health ? He suffered from very severe insomnia, even worse than the kind i got...

Op has mood issus. He needs friends, psychotherapy and maybe some antidepressant cures.

Yea i imagine lol 😸 For much less than that i'm glued to my bed while drooling.

Take care of yourself.

I'm going to do one of those this week yum.

But it's huge ? A big dose is supposed to be like 5g.

Dry ? I had this computer feeling on LSD. It was unique.