Schizophonia

@MarkKol ED or just no morning erection ? It could just be lack of REM sleep, stress, and general exhaustion. I would stop ruminating as much as possible, stressing about nothing in general, I would meditate, take vitamins and juices rich in antioxidants; @Jason Actualization recommends pomegranate juice from what i remember.

Yep. I see.

Day 27 I noticed that my mother was nicer around me when I was in a frequency close to her exes, without giving details. Love manifests the possibility of delivering this love, but it will also manifest, depending on the belief system, people hostile to this love; Hate will also eventually manifest a person's love in this way, oddly enough; Everything is possible. I have at least partially grasped, in broad outline, notably thanks to Neville Goddard (it was his birthday yesterday, peace be upon him), the functioning of the process of manifestation, of creation; The conscious/unconscious echo chamber, the ouroboros. But it is a devilishly refined process, it is like an outrageously delicate psychic Swiss automatic watch to master, and yet completely simple in its operation; It requires the hands of a pianist. I should almost make a diary where I write down every 3/4 hours, something like that, as precisely as possible both what is happening in my conscious (emotional world and mental discourse, everything I am "conscious" of and control more or less directly) and what manifests in the inconscious, on what i don't have a direct influence and which I experience empirically. Abstractions and materiality as Berkeley would say. The easiest manifestations are in fact, in my case, those that I seek the least because they do not encounter an inverse process; A bit like if my psyche were a big sea with a big mess in the middle; Send even a big boat to go straight and it risks strongly being sent back to the starting point because of the tumult of the waves, but send even a small boat to a rather inconsiderate place, where there are few waves, and it will surprisingly risk arriving there more than most of the other boats that pass through this "Bermuda triangle" of my mental mush of neurotic mad human. I noticed that my mother was nicer around me when I was in a frequency close to her exes, without giving details. Love manifests the possibility of delivering this love, but it will also manifest, depending on the belief system, people hostile to this love; Hate will also eventually manifest a person's love in this way, oddly enough; Everything is possible. I have at least partially grasped, in broad outline, notably thanks to Neville Goddard (it was his birthday yesterday, peace be upon him), the functioning of the process of manifestation, of creation; The conscious/unconscious echo chamber, the ouroboros. But it is a devilishly refined process, it is like an outrageously delicate psychic Swiss automatic watch to master, and yet completely simple in its operation; It requires the hands of a pianist. I should almost make a diary where I note every 3/4 hours, something like that, as precisely as possible both what is happening in my conscious (emotional world and mental discourse, everything I am "conscious" of and control more or less directly) and what manifests in the maya. The easiest manifestations are in fact, in my case, those that I seek the least because they do not encounter an inverse process; A bit like if my psyche were a big sea with a big mess in the middle; Send even a big boat to go straight and it risks strongly being sent back to the starting point because of the tumult of the waves, but send even a small boat to a rather inconsiderate place, where there are few waves, and it will surprisingly risk arriving there more than most of the other boats that pass through this "Bermuda triangle" of my mental mush of neurotic mad human. I should also take an interest in Berkeley, it seems terribly based; He could be considered the father of idealist monism; a godsend if you are on the line of Leo Gura, Peter Raltson, Ken Wilber, Neville Goddard, Joe Dispenza, etc.

I meant not a big deal for me, that you don't find something to answer. I see. Yes but why do you want to "express yourself"? Eheh. I want to express myself to boost my ego; to feel useful and in a position of power, possibly to push myself to put ideas into form like in my journal. It could, I play the french predator lol but I understand that it can be annoying; Women tend not to say what they really think. You are my pocket alien but you are still a woman. Nevermind.

Cool. Once again, don't hesitate to post photos and news ; It looks like a good place. Then I am very orange lol so it is mainly the landscapes, the temples, kreteks cigarettes, the asses fed with massaman curry, and the food but there you go.

It's not a big deal. How does this evolve btw ? You can reply on your journal so as not to derail the thread. Because you are still "human" and "humans" are "curious". 👺 Or "polite", maybe you "put up" with "me" mainly out of "politeness" lol i don't know.

Exactly, in a lucid dream you are aware of being in a dream, but it is still a state of consciousness different than normal, which makes it all quite twisted and strange. When I read Datura's TRs, people still have an active brain and can understand that they have taken a drug, but they are still "elsewhere" and end up doing strange things like talking to people that don't exists ; Which makes me think of a lucid dream. If you see what I mean. Ahh I don't really agree, I would still put serotonin in first position. To take up the 4 causes of Aristotle: 1)Material cause : Substance of reality (raw material) -> Serotoninergic axis. 2)Formal cause : Structure of reality (how it is organized, in different holons) -> Cholinergix axis. 3)Efficient cause : Interpretation of reality (which gives it meaning, generate a sense of self, an ego) -> Cetecholaminergics axis. 4)Final cause : Goal of reality (that is to say the experience) -> GABA/Glutamate axis. Obviously I omitted the more secondary neurotransmitters.

I let you alone.

The president of my country brought black transsexual dancers into the presidential palace. https://www.leparisien.fr/politique/macron-avec-des-danseurs-a-l-elysee-une-photo-qui-continue-a-faire-du-bruit-23-06-2018-7789650.php It's nothing at all Elon who brings his kid ; It's anecdotal.

From what I have seen, Deliriants seem to induce a state close to lucid dreams.

I like dependent, "insecure" girls, because it gives me the right/pushs to be masculine; That is to say, once again, to be protective, cuddly, sexually dominant, etc. There is no point in having a "strong" girlfriend.

@Davino can you give a specific example ?

Do not confuse senility with maturity. It's normal for a woman to be obsessed with a crush.

Being a man is a low ego and a high self-esteem; Low ego because you exist through the principle of reality, reality in which we had evolved which was much more merciless than what we are used to now (Survival, rites of passage and pressure of the tribe in general, climatic conditions, no medicine ...), and high esteem because everyone counts on you. This is what gives this stoic, funny/detached and merciless mentality at the same time typically masculine, that women automatically like because it is our natural state. It's like the hierarchy between males, there is no sexual hierarchy in nature because 1) Paleolithic men would not hesitate to commit rape or kill (Freud's myth of the primitive horde?) men who would ""steal women"", and 2) We are all more or less Chad in nature because we are not disfigured by modern diet and living conditions, the lack of attractiveness is essentially epigenetic. The video only tacitly suggests to imitate this state, to imitate it. All our misunderstandings come from the fact that we have disconnected ourselves from nature.

Reality

He won't answer, he can't test Frenchy Willy.

Alcohol suppresses bad thoughts, the echo chamber of a neurotic psyche.

Because you're basically with someone to get your balls off.

Day 26 I worked all day with my dad, no post for today. I'm dead and my ribs hurt, I understand that he's on painkillers (he's a construction worker). Sleep was good, maybe too much lol, 9 hours in total. At this point I'll just stop talking about it.

I like girls for the complicity; Being able to tease them, cuddle them, kiss them etc depending on the context, the "chakras" concerned. If I have not enough in common with the girl and/or if it sends me back too great a gap with my ideal of myself, I will be able to have sex with her and even love her in a certain way, but it will always be quite poor and "partial" and indeed I will not want to invest myself ; This would be a form of depravity. If I understood the topic correctly.

The secret to good sleep is, I would say 50/50, good sleep hygiene not medication or supplements, and a developed ability to detach ; Even though it is in a different context, the advice of Neville Goddard that I recently discovered on affirmation helped me. Less than a year ago I could do up to 3 sleepless nights in a week, a few weeks ago I was still doing up to one, and since then I have not slept less than 4 hours and it is mainly my fault. It is incredible, I spend most of my days reading, cooking, and doing sports; In a few months I will take a job, maybe even before, and I am not even in heaven.

I had read articles about damage to the hippocampus, but indeed it is very controversial, probably much less worse than alcohol or amphetamines. And then you are right, it depends on the frequency of consumption, the quantity and the ROA; Smoking a joint or eating a space cake here and there will probably never be a problem. From where I look absolutely everything is reversible, these are just scientific rationalizations about what is happening in the Maya, in the frequency shift ; Which worries me is the frequency shift, a frequency that does not seem great to sink into/identify. It must be different for everyone, but for me it is mind-numbing, it makes me paranoid, and has a pretty "dirty" vibe in general. A bit like LSD but worse in fact. It may be different for you, if so so much the better. Actually cocaine is feminine too, estrogens have a somewhat similar action on the brain. 🤓 I prefer to feel "warm" and stress-free. I love ketamine, opioids and the feeling after intense exercise.

That said, it's a bit a stupid and quite feminine frequency, and it's associated with both brain damage and lower testosterone.

I was a little "private joke". I bit like my signature btw

Day 25 A little less than a year ago I wrote down some dreams that I found complete and interesting to analyze, here is one: The dream began at my mother's house on what seemed to be my birthday, me and a number of people in my family were all sitting around a table when I opened a gift that they had collectively given me; It was a shotgun. My mother lives in a residence whose entrance is located on a road that goes uphill; In the second scene of the dream I go up this hill, armed with this shotgun but also for some reason with a machete, and I go towards what seemed to be an grand outdoor Asian market. This market had a very "red stage" vibe; It was in the evening, the market was lit by red and magenta neon lights, a somewhat "sexual" vibe and there were merchants everywhere of different natures; When I was going up the hill, a little before the entrance there were Asian women, plump, who threw large durian-type fruits on the road to "attract buyers", I was one of those people who were looking for this very durian. I received a phone call from my mother who made me understand that she did not like knowing that I was here, but I simply hung up cordially and continued on my way. My father, I remember, did not see a problem with it but had recommended a restaurant to me; I remember this place, it was a restaurant of Japanese or Asian savory dishes in general, I don't remember, which was prepared on site by a cook; In doubt, for fear of being scammed by the service I decided not to continue, not to trust my father and to continue towards the quest for my durian. In my imagination durian is tasty and a "safe bet", there is no way to be scammed. Finally, I end up coming across a number of durian trees eheh, but suddenly they start falling on me. Lots of durian trees fall on me and I find myself on the ground, stunned, and when I get up I have lost my shotgun; So I find myself angry, at least frustrated and with a machete. The dream ends at the counter of a random store, a merchant hands me a paper that I supposedly have to sign for a petition or something like that. I suddenly have a doubt when he starts to turn around with his signed paper, so I tear it out of his hands by force to reread it and realize that he has in fact subscribed me to a porn magazine without my knowledge; In anger I attack him with my machete. The analysis (I did it myself quickly for fun, it could be much better with a psychoanalyst who has a lot of experience, of course): -The Asian market as a whole represents persona possibilities, survival strategies, and the sexual/love market. -The shotgun and the machete are allegories of different archetypal natures of the phallus; The shotgun is the family phallus, it is the survival strategy generated by the collective unconscious given the family history (especially the paternal family, automatically), its successes and traumas. It is an effective and safe strategy, whether in the form of this metaphor (firearm) and the strategy to which it is correlated in the dream, that is to say favoring the Asian restaurant. I lose my scythe weapon because I refused to trust my father and take the risk of being scammed by the restaurant. The machete is the "attavic" phallus, it goes beyond the persona in the sense that it has always been there in the background and was not offered to me by anyone. When I agree to no longer trust the family phallus, I lose my rifle and the machete becomes my main weapon. -The restaurant or durian dilemma is the dilemma of which survival strategy to adopt; The restaurant (=strategy rather favored by my family, especially my father) consists of an asymmetry strategy. To give the context, my father is an absolute hard worker, he has always been a business leader, has had various businesses in personal services and BTC; He has always been financially well-off BUT he also gets "ripped off": People tend to take advantage of his "wealth", and he is in poor health partly because of his work. The durian consists of a safer and more balanced approach: A decent job, a little savings each month, a nice and balanced girlfriend, etc. The problem with choosing the durian is the abandonment of the family phallus, and this is automatically associated with a lot of frustration because this phallus is a big part of my life. The reason why people spend their lives ruminating, maintaining a persona that generates negative emotions, is that they benefit from it, whatever anyone says; Because everything is polarized, if "everyone is against me" then I can be an asshole who is against everyone. This system allows you to be phallic, and this phallus, even if it is essentially masturbatory, IMAGINARY, a miraje, well it can still seem very powerful. -The Asian salesman at the end is someone trying to take advantage of my phallus (it could be a woman, someone who wants my money...), I could react laxly and let him sell me proof that I am phallic (porn magazines), but now that I have been amputated from my sophisticated, quite sophisticated family phallus, I am frustrated and I react in a much more brutal way.