Yimpa

The terminology is still confusing. i don’t get the difference. who cares what it is i love it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

WOAH, we spotted something even better! a peafowl! hmm what’s the difference? from wiki:

we are now at the park and there is a peacock crossing sign. i’ve never seen a peacock irl before. i hope i spot one…

also the tourniquet was on too tight, but we figured it out on the 3rd try together. ayy, just found out they’re also a Women owned business. Win!

Wahoo! I just finished getting blood work done for my serum tears! Beans came to support me in spirit, and I even got to concentrate at The Triangle, which was in front of me cheering me on the whole way thru! The nurse was also super friendly, and when he said “bye Joy”, I felt so giddy inside and almost lost it

Today and tomorrow I face my traumas cus fuck my beliefs they don’t mean shizzz I CAN DO IT. I CAN WIN!!!!

And thank you for loving me, even as we going thru immense pain during these fucked up times <3

Fun fact, some Owls can bark like Dogs! https://youtu.be/8Se3Ta0aKkk?si=kbhkA7N9X2kvUTxH

Whoo am I?!

Here’s one. It’s really long: https://www.actualized.org/insights/writing-my-book

Today’s been a productive day of deep contemplation and inner work. Now time to get out there and do groceries. See ya later!

what do you mean by letting it ride?

I am Weird, and I know it. Furthermore: - following mainstream social norms 🗑️ - seeking approval from others 🗑️ - not speaking up due to fear of being rejected 🗑️ - masking who I really am 🗑️ - judging others based on their appearance 🗑️ - following rules by the book 🗑️ - appeasing to authority figures 🗑️

Have you ever had In-And-Out Burger? It is a must if you have not yet. There is even a secret menu: https://www.in-n-out.com/menu/not-so-secret-menu

Opposite problem for me. There’s probably thousands of posts that I’ve made that deserve to be hidden. I just ignore it and move on instead.

That is no longer necessary. I’m becoming aware to not even take the bait to begin with. The trap is in giving it any power, period. That’s how shit spirals out of control, giving it any authority over You. Instead, I am practicing grounding myself and then take action from a place of clarity and wisdom, not reactivity and deceit/falsehood. One that is grounded isn’t overwhelmed by the nightmare spiral, they awaken from and rise above it. This is my practice now. This is how I want to live my life from meow on.

I am learning to no longer give my attention to trolls, haters, and selfish minds. I used to have no boundaries with them. Now the buck stops with me. If you dare mock me, put me down, or pervert me, you’re gone. No compromises. No discussion. I will not be raped by devils anymore.

Feel free to share about your journey, no filters, and ignore haters. This is what will strengthen you. I feel like the goal is to understand ourselves better, not about educating others dogmatically. Those who resonate with your journey will organically come along. I haven’t read your journal entries much, but now I am curious. Thank you for sharing. finally,… sharing openly about stuff that has so many misconceptions and stigma is really uncomfortable. but discomfort doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong. it just means you’re being honest in a world that isn’t used to it. vulnerability hangover is real, but it’s not always a signal to stop. it’s just the cost of being authentic. baby steps.

That makes sense, otherwise a finite form would try to monopolize Truth. Actually, it tries to, but ultimately fails.

They've transitioned. Hallelujah!

Here is my ER visit report from when I had my second solipsistic awakening, March 2019. I became so conscious of the nature of mind that I literally convinced myself that I was dying. Hell, I was so dead that I realized there was nobody that could die, and therefore I need to prevent myself from dying a death that is impossible to die. Suffice to say, when they finally admitted me and laid me on the hospital bed, I DID die on the hospital bed, in pure bliss, to the nature of what God is. The nurse who took care of me, though, was judgemental and clueless, convincing me that I was wasting valuable resources and being a burden to her. So I stayed quiet. Conformed. Shut my mouth. I was too afraid to tell them the truth, out of being shamed. But you know what? They probably wouldn't be able to handle it anyway. Imagine me telling that nurse, "you're wrong. I'm not wasting your time. I'm not a drug addict. I'm GOD realized." Honestly, I have no idea how they'd respond, but I ultimately let them gaslight me into thinking I'm an idiot. And then the doctor diagnosed me with anxiety disorder. CORRUPTION!

Everyone who doubted me, dismissed me, or refused to see me fully — they helped too. That’s a core feature of true transformation. Every challenge, every moment of going against the herd, played an integral role. The question became: will I let their authority dictate my own sovereignty? The discomfort was feedback; a signal to feel into the wrongness. Masking was the short-term solution. Breaking free didn’t require changing their minds. It required me to stop allowing their influence to corrupt my authentic self. My role was never to change them. It was to free myself from them and ultimately realize only I can verify what is true for myself and no one else.

Many might assume that I transitioned and it was an easy decision. Fuck no! This took a ton of contemplation, work with a professional, deconstructing my childhood, emotional labor, nearly killing myself, my physical body on the brink of failure, gaslighting myself that I am just a guy over and over again, hating on trans people for being disgusting, you NAME IT I did it all. F those before and after photos! That’s just a shallow idea of what transitioning is. It’s war against myself. And F passing as a Woman. All your ideas of what a Woman is is garbage. If you reduce a Woman to their physical appearance, you have failed the test!