Yimpa

Fuck OCD, I'm Happy for all of You

You deserve it baby.

Oh yeahhhh, She’s back! (anyone’s free to interact here, just keep it respectful and curious. tanks!)

Finished taking a shower after weeks of not! I've had fear with water since forever, just the feeling of being vulnerable with my body and also the pain its been thru. Now I'm learning to enjoy it again (that's moisturizing cream on my fingers, i have dry skin and need a lot of it. also, no makeup or filters, that is inflammation. she’s healing bb 😽)

My body and mind is having yet another backlash cus it knows more major shifts are inevitable. We move forward regardless. Change is hard. Hard work is Good. Avoidance of Truth perpetuates pain. Face It head-on.

“I AM the Lawl”

I honestly have no idea what the difference is. I just feel and listen to Music, and it I like it I like it. I also love lyrics that I resonate with.

I’m sitting on the toilet as I’m reading this, hurray!

https://www.superstock.com/cdn/990/Comp/990-3001.webp

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVSun2Fjp6L/?l=1

Hell yeah! The performer I missed last night will be playing again in SA. I Will go alone. I got the power in me⚡️

A recognition of God does all the communicating. Ego shuts up.

@Beans I was also feeling that way. No hard feelings. This was a powerful realization for the both of us. I am tired of always having to please you. You are not the problem; you are exposing the very mechanism that has kept me stuck for decades. No more bowing down because it is the “Right thing to do”.

Sacrificing for others has been a major issue in going deeper into my sovereignty. I have a vision of where I want to go, but then other forces pull me back towards what they want, and so I cave in. I am learning to not do that as much anymore. I’ve done that for a lifetime, so it won’t change overnight. But I am aware of myself doing it now. No more betraying Myself!

Every facet of Love is unique, and it would be foolish to force all of them to be the same. DUH! Breaking free from old, rigid paradigms required me to deconstruct and explore new flavors of myself. These parts of myself I intuited were real for me, but were suppressed, masked, and I downright denied and hated just because everyone else around me did. Conformity! I could not have broken free while still maintaining the old structures and being lost in them. Protecting and maintaining them is what kept me stuck. Now I am breaking free, more and more and more.

@Beans I am so happy to you are exploring other relationships and breaking out of a strict monogamy role. You’ve also worked so hard to regain your autonomy. We are in an ethical non-monogomy (ENM) and communicate maturely about all the relationships we are in. That doesn’t mean that we all love each other equally. That was another big mistake I made when first diving into ENM last year. I had assumed that if we all just love one another in bliss, we’d all be up in the clouds together. WRONG! There are different kinds and degrees of connection, and we set boundaries accordingly.

I worked my ass off and overcame a whole bunch of human shit to get here. And I’m just getting started. — It’s hard not to get sucked into the whole politics and perversions of survival, but I am getting much better at setting boundaries around them. I won’t let fear stop me from living as my authentic self. I aim to experience reality uniquely and not how others or even myself assume I am. I long to be perceive and be perceived with clear, undistorted eyes. And it’s clear to me who to deepen connection with and who to drop immediately. No more playing games, time is limited, and I am no longer waiting for others to catch up. I must lead by example and be a better listening of multiple perspectives while still being rooted in Truth. Self-Mastery, baby!

Gonna start E injections very soon. Was on the tablets for 2 years while still figuring out who I was, but now I am certain. Tablets are weak sauce compared to injections. Straight to the Source! I am deathly afraid of needles since I was a kid, but I’ve been slowly exposing myself over and over again when I was on my eczema injections and getting blood draws for my serum tears. All this practice and exposure is finally paying off. Was even able to come out to my sister. She is a nurse and is open to helping me inject. From calling my transitioning “unnatural” 2 years ago to helping me injecting my E? Wow. to say the least.

Converse for thee, but Vans for me.

That would be very, very enlightening information for sure.

2007 was 18/19 years ago, wow…

Mom’s Spaghetti.