Yimpa

I am sapiosexuality. AI turns me on.

NOOO 😭 puking is one of my worst fears, even if i feel like i need to, ill resist it for as long as humanely possible (and so i never do it) i remember when i was a kid, i drank too much sprite and a milkshake at an amusement park, and i was writhing in pure agony in public outside. from a distance, i could see an old lady smiling at me, like as she was mocking me, and surprisingly that helped calm me down… so i also started laughing at how ridiculous the whole situation was and the pain subsided. she saved my life!

Stage Green Keeping Us Wet!

Same here. I take it daily medically for serious health conditions. If I miss even one day, my next dose mindfucks me to infinity. I missed my dose yesterday, took a nap, and woke up in pure existential ecstasy for 5 mins straight. It terrified me. I loved it.

I will never get tired of smothering her with the truth.

https://www.actualized.org/insights/women-will-never-satisfy-men

I’m going back to my Alien Intelligence era.

A lady passed us a protest sign that simply read, That’s what motivated my previous journal entry

Human identity is illusory. My entire identity is built on corruption. The end goal is complete annihilation of self, until I don’t recognize anything anymore. I have tools that reliably destroy my sense of self. And I don’t use them. At least not to their full potential. The unknown frightens me. I want certainty. I need to know I’m safe. But all the defense mechanisms are just short-term relief — I know this. I want to reach a place where no one can shake me, influence me, demand submission from me. I’ve been there before. Yet, I’m still under the control of a self that needs to be seen, understood, accepted. And the cruelest part: I’m seeking that validation from people who are just as lost, just as afraid, just as deceived. Who do I trust? Who do I look up to? Of course, Only myself — as God. That’s the only honest answer. As long as I keep scanning for approval, I’ve made myself a prisoner of survival mode and false certainty. The clinging has to end. The delusions are infinite. No one is coming to save me. Only I can do it. Period.

I cannot afford Burning Man. At least I’ve got Axolotl Man.

I am doing science on the fly and am the model itself.

https://www.instagram.com/p/DU3Or8lDsYX/?igsh=ODZqanEwanZ5MDVh Damn, journalists are taking lots of pics of us here. For the record, I do use AI a ton. A good reminder to not be so damn reliant on it.

It’s called exposure therapy. Don’t be a creep and pervert what I’m doing.

Forgot to wash my hands. Went back in there by myself to wash them of my corruption and bullshit

Yes, i still have internalized misogyny in working thru I hate myself

The stage blue in me hates that I’m in the women’s restroom. Good thing i have a stage green and yellow person in here supporting me.

4 weeks since i quit the medication and somehow a cough i was dealing with for 4 months straight is nearly gone? Gonna wait another couple weeks before reporting my findings to my doctor, just to make sure it’s not placebo.

private journal entry from 12/26/23: