DemiNingen

Another way to say it might be losing your mind. Or at least it feels like it. Like, if you wish to return to who you were it's gonna take a lot of courage and work.

Your original essence, the ability to imagine something on your own, to not "borrow" from others. It may sound like i'm talking about ego, but I think it's the contrary. Basically if you enlighten your ego, you become a narcissist and it feels like there is no way out of it. You'll constantly be riding on other people's energy, in a sense.

I've been following a lot of various teachers, done some psychedelics and reached a higher understanding. However, in a sense, I feel like I've enlightened my ego. Just knowing that is one of the hardest burdens anyone could have. I feel like my own self, essence has been engulfed by an ego and there is no return to that original self.