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Everything posted by Basman
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Count your blessing while going for a walk.
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There's a difference between being contemplative and having no sense of personal boundaries. Too much relativity if you think your wants and needs don't matter. At worst this attitude can engender abuse as you basically gaslight yourself into thinking the wants and needs of others supersede your own.
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It is more gay than not. That makes it less straight.
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An extreme example. Gender and sex is interchangeable for the majority of the human population. If you see someone like Megan Fox walking around you are not going to to assume that she has a dick. The act of reproduction is innate. Reproducing off-spring is nearly tertiary on an instinctual plane. Evidence of that is that sex itself is a need. Having children is not a "need". Considering that homophilia and necrophilia exist, not only among humans but also certain other animals, is also evidence of that. There are plenty of documented cases of gay animals and animals don't have an identity which they build their reality around (and having gay sex isn't "reproductive" to be clear). It is instinctual to act out reproduction. No one thinks like this.
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No it doesn't. Sexuality is innate. It being a question of gender implies that it is an identity and therefor can be changed over time. Case in point; asexuality.
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Honestly, your English is kinda bad and I struggle to comprehend what you mean exactly. But I get that you're obnoxiously self-righteous and passive-aggressive. These are not the traits of someone who really believes what they say and I know that because you'd be mad if someone ignored your preferences and tried to gaslight you over it. You are still having sex with a biological male and on average there is no getting away from that for most transwomen bodies, especially if they have a penis. You can call it not-gay if you want but its still a lot more gay than a biological woman.
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This is not going to end well, I think.
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Basman replied to Recursoinominado's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
When in Rome, do as the Romans. I have had the rare opportunity to not be rooted in any one culture due to moving to different countries during my formative years. As a result, I don't identify strongly with any one culture and I can appreciate the strengths and weaknesses of any one culture. There are no equal cultures. The culture of less developed country are less developed and by virtue worse in most aspects. -
Double standards don't matter in the context of sexual preferences. No one is owed a relationship and you don't have the right to demean or belittle someone's choice to not date someone regardless.
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The majority of people are not interested in dating trans people. There is nothing inherently wrong with what he said. Being condescending and manipulative only makes your cause look bad.
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The fact that coffee is normalized and ingrained into work culture makes it doubly hard to quit I bet. I'm glad I don't drink coffee personally.
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I think the modern "career oriented" lifestyle is not conducive to any relationship in general compared to the past. We used to live with our work when we where farmers and everyone depended on each and lived in a close-knit community. Similarly during early industrialization when workers lived at the factory. The modern lifestyle atomizes and isolates people. Of course the quantity of our relationships suffer as a consequence.
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The saying that you have to fill your own cup first comes to mind. In my experience, service to others in a way that aligns with your strengths and passions is inherently more fulfilling and should be a long-term goal. But this is a chicken and egg situation. And selfishness came first. Existentially, everything we want to do we do because it feels good to us personally even if we are doing something for someone else. Like, people donate to animal conservation because koalas and pandas are cute but don't give a fuck about spiders or frogs. I think it is an issue of maturity, like a previous comment pointed out.
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I agree that we are heading towards greater unification in the future, but I think unified "blocks" are more likely. We already have this to a certain extent with the European Union for example. That probably hints that a certain level of development is necessary for unification to be possible without resorting to tyranny. If a countries within a specific region in the world are all competing against each other for limited resources, it will be much harder to unify them politically without forcing them.
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I remember there being a post about this exact topic and issue of a guy being sexually traumatized after sleeping with a transwoman unknowingly and everyone shitting on him for it. It is an issue of informed consent and communication. It is impossible to have a healthy and ethical relationship without trust. You basically asked if she's "normal" and she got upset. What does that say? Probably that she isn't "normal" and that she has a complex over it. I do think that if this girl was trans that she should've told you. I don't think you did anything wrong. If she seemed to be trans to you then it was going to come up sooner or later. Better sooner IMO.
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The book "Models" by Mark Manson has a section on how to develop a fashion style in the context of dating. Very basic but effective principles. In order of importance: Wear clothes that fit Wear clothes that match Dress to your personality Wearing clothes that fit is the most fundamental step. Well fitted clothes alone make a massive difference, so if you take anything away make it it this. Guys tend to prefer practical clothing with no eye for aesthetics and often end up wearing clothes that are slightly too big. It can be uncomfortable to wear trousers that are an exact fit if you are not used to it. My trick is to buy high quality pants that have an elastic fabric. My test is if you can squat without the pants obstructing you. Also, avoid cheap jeans, like from H&M and that tier of clothing stores. Cheap jeans are often very uncomfortable so it is better to invest in a good pair you can use for many years and which feel good to wear. Another pyramid for choosing individual articles of clothing (in order of importance). Fit Color Texture Color should match your other clothes as well as your skin/hair color. Texture is like the cream on top after a well fitted shirt that matches your other clothes. Example of texture:
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It is just added flexibility. Of course there are people who abuse it, but they are more likely to be let go off.
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The guys hypothesis makes no sense. Why would a group that depend on each other for survival start killing each other?
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Basman replied to Husseinisdoingfine's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
Seems like another wave of stage green type protests, similar to Occupy Wallstreet. Doubtful that'll achieve much. -
https://uniavisen.dk/en/university-of-copenhagen-to-slash-admissions-numbers-by-789-places-annually/ There has been a general trend with our recent government to cut spending on education. Our grant system (SU) has been recently reduced from 6 years to 5 and there has been and various masters degrees have been reduced from lasting 2 years to 1. Thoughts? I know these standards, even when reduced like they have, are borderline utopian to many of you in other parts of the world but it is still frustrating to see this "generational theft". I can't help but feel like the current government is selling out the youth to an aging population.
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I believe that putting on weight is what makes a person look the most aged. Like a "middle aged mom" is typically a bit round and squat looking as opposed to slender and fit. Staying healthy and fit and cultivating long-term relationships might be the best strategy for dealing with aging as far as I can tell.
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I'm unironically grateful that I don't use Tik-tok.
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I've been approached a couple of times in the past and in every instance I got confused and thought they where trying to solicit donations to an animal rights group or something like that. Only in hindsight did I realize they where flirting with me. Either way, just do the normal thing of being cordial and matter of fact when rejecting someone. Being a bitch is pointless. That or be so dense that the interaction itself doesn't go anywhere.
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I just kind of wallow in it and then it goes away on its own after a while I guess. I rarely think about others in that way though. I do get what you mean because I often do this too, thinking "I think I could've said that better" but nowhere near to the same extent I think. I figured that I'm just a kind of an awkward person. That is normal when you are young. Perhaps the autism makes that feeling more intense due to rumination. When people talk about their internal states like "knowing themselves" the conversation is no longer in the realm of technical logic. It is inherently emotional and people who talk like this are just expressing a feeling more or less. There is no coherent logic to suss out, especially since different words mean different things to people. I wouldn't worry too much of what all this means if you find it more confusing than helpful. Have you considered journaling your thoughts whenever you are in this "mind spiral" moods? Getting it out on paper takes a bit of the wind out of the intensity of these emotions.
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In my experience, repetition alone isn't sufficient to form a habit if it is something that is hard to do. It'll become a habit if there is a pressure present that necessitates it. For example most who have a habit of waking up early do so because of work or school. You need a good reason to do hard things in my experience.