Sandhu

She needs professional help. Her mental state can't be helped with advice. She must seek professional help. She is in very bad perpetual victim and helpless state.

@StarStruck what business you are into?

Hey! I'm turning 20 this year. I've high school equivalent education, I can't study further cause I need to start working as I'm beyond broke. My family have significant amount of debt to pay. Our financial situation is terrible. We're living hand to mouth. My father does not really earn anything. Country's economy is terrible. Inflation is so high. I know that I've to take responsibility and start doing something. But I don't know what to do. I want to provide for my family. I don't know how to get work or job. I want to become financially stable and able. Most locally available job are so medicore and lowly paid that they are not worth doing. I envy You all people, you belong from rich super-developed countries. Life feels constant pain, despair taking me down. I know to be strong, smart and resourceful. But I feel clueless, can't focus and work to figure out solution. It's eating up my strengh everyday. I don't know what to do? Please help!

Good news for me : A friend of mine told me that he know someone who has a decent job for me. I'll join in a week. Thanks for all the support and advice. I'll be working this manual work job in a factory and along with it will be learning some specialized skill so I could work freelance part-time. I never ever shared my internal state of affairs with anyone as I have this internalized toxic shame ( concept from no more mr.nice guy book). This community is a safe place to seek help. I encourage you to share your problems here. No one will judge you weak and pathetic and Leo will not ban you (if you have that fear like me)

@Ropuch7 Thanks brother! There are of course thousands things to do. what's killing me is this very very desperate time, I need to act quickly to really provide food for my family. I feel such a loser to have wasted my time already.

@MarkKol thanks man, It's a very powerful and helpeful message for me.

Dear sister, they are not complaining nor I'm violating any guidelines. I'm just pushing them for further nuances. Why you act on others behalf

Aren't they exceptions? Not really practical to look for such jobs. Why would someone pay him that much If HE is easily replaceable and job not really requires much speciality.

@Princess Arabia you rather come across judgy and very softy type but anyways you probably want unnesseccary drama which I don't

@Thought ArtI completely understand and appreciate your opinion. But when challenges arise such as mine , it ain't help to find love in little things. You need to be ruthless with yourself in the pragmetic world. If you don't have emotions that are burning your soul to change, what gonna cause you to move your ass?

Yeah, yeah. I understand these basics.

@Leo Gura High paying jobs require high level skills and education. I'm planning on learning programming as it pays good (my friend is doing game developer job, he is a programmer). Most of the economy and businesses are informal. People are barely rudimentry educated and there is not much online help for local things atleast where I live. Yes I can move to some big city and there would be better jobs but problem is I'm the only son and my father is elderly so I also need to take care of my family (sisters, mother and grandmother). I can't leave them alone. I must work some local job. I'm planning to continue education along with learing some valueable skills so sooner or later I would be able to work high income job. PS: It's funny how much you people assume things are similiar around the world, there are so much complexities and unique problems that any advice seems to be uncomplete.

@Yimpa I cant't figure out what you mean.

Yes, I think I should work any job I can get and simultaneously look for better jobs but I'm socially little awkward and don't really have any friends, I know only few people around. Coz of my isolation from my own culture and people as I'm living totatly different life than them. So, what you suggest to find jobs, should I go to businesses and ask them if they need to hire someone?

Intelligence Self-awareness Health

@Andrey Tell us more about your particular problems.

Books you should definately read: - Not nice by Aziz gazipura - less nice more you by Aziz Gazipura -No more Mr. Nice guy -The disease to please These books not only cover people pleasing/ niceguy syndrome but also help learning creating boundries and developing a strong healthy personality.

I yet have to meet a successful Actualizer. All this high concious philosophy can easily turn into ugly mental masturbation and dogma if you're not highly vigilant about it.

It makes a huge difference for your good survival.

Hello dramatic Brother!

@HMD A tiny city in Eastern-southern Punjab.

The subtle art of not giving a f*ck. The single most helpful idea/practice mark manson shares.

Frequently, certain desires we perceive as materialistic may, in fact, be emotional or spiritual in nature. We often default to seeking material solutions, not realizing that more cost-effective and straightforward alternatives exist. Discovering these simpler paths can fulfill our longings efficiently, saving both time and energy in the process.

Soon will be 20. From Punjab, Pakistan.

"Mother Wound could be described as having a mother who was not emotionally available when growing up. Perhaps the mother was distant, critical and cold. She could have also been very anxious and preoccupied with her own “stuff”. This could have been for a number of reasons. Often the mother herself was emotionally neglected or even abused herself and then unfortunately unable to be loving and nurturing. Perhaps your family struggled to make the ends meet and the mother was away for work a lot and you were looked after by baby sitters and other childcare providers a lot. Perhaps there wasn’t a consistent relationship with your mother as you were growing up." "A romantic partner may say “why don’t you talk?” or “you are so distant”. We learn about relationships in our early relationships. When you have experienced a Mother Wound and your mother was not nurturing to your emotional needs, you grow up with a view on relationships that you cannot trust someone to be there for you emotionally. It may be difficult for you to trust in a romantic relationship. You may struggle to commit and keep seeking for the next best thing. You may always find fault in your current partner. You may end up in a long-term relationship but you may end up with a person who is equally distant and over time your relationship dies. You may end up growing apart without even having many arguments." Read full article here: Mother wound This exact has happened to me. Maybe it helps someone. If you have something useful regarding this topic please share.