Sandhu

I'm trapped between my true self and family ties. Raised in a traditional Pakistani Muslim household, I've intellectually escaped religious ideology but still feel emotionally bound. My family knows I've changed but thinks I'll return to faith – unaware of my inner turmoil. Living with them means living a lie – forced to participate in religious rituals like offering daily prayers, fasting, and observing traditions that suffocate my soul. Every gesture feels like betrayal to my own beliefs, yet outward conformity maintains family harmony. Living this double life exhausts me: outwardly polite, inwardly rebellious. Revealing truth would unleash outrage, fury, and irreversible relationship damage. Yet continuing this facade suffocates me – cognitive dissonance tortures my soul. I'm torn between two unbearable paths: suffer shattered relationships by revealing truth or slowly die inside maintaining this illusion. Desperation whispers: abandon family to save myself. Am I selfish to consider this, or necessary for self-preservation? **Note:** This post was drafted with the assistance of AI to ensure clarity and accuracy of emotions.

Sorry, but it come with loaded bullshit. I seek truth and then harmony. Not the vice versa

@Letho you're a wise man. I can see what you're pointing to. Thanks

I use AI to refine my thoughts and keep my message clear, straight, and easily comprehensible while strictly maintaining my original voice and perspective.English is my second language and vocabulary limits my expression.

I know. But then you live a half life.

I'm 20 yrs old, currently working and earning enough to live comfortably on my own. However, cultural expectations weigh heavily here – as the only son, family responsibilities fall squarely on my shoulders. My elderly father contributes minimally, leaving me to support my mother, sisters, and grandmother. Abandoning them emotionally scars both sides – leaving isn't just about my freedom, it's about ensuring theirs too. Your point resonates deeply: earning enough to support them while living separately might be my path to freedom.

Honestly, surrendering to religious rituals feels like living a lie, even if it's just on the surface. My heart rebels against pretending to believe something I don't – compromise like this would eat away at me, no matter how outwardly peaceful it keeps things with my family.

@QandC exchanging familiar family bonds for authentic selfhood isn't akin to awaiting a exciting weekend date; more like relinquishing lifelong roots for uncertain solo growth

@Letho Thank you for sharing your profound insights. However, I feel your words, though wise, gently miss the mark – my conflict isn't entirely internal illusion vs truth, but a heartbreaking external dilemma: choosing between embracing my authentic self and potentially losing the family I love and owe so much to. Their influence shaped me positively before our ideological rift. Can one still honor truth while navigating beloved family ties, or is separation inevitable? For me, family isn't just a bond – it's a core value that resonates deeply. Leaving them would mean starting life from zero, erasing decades of love, support, and shared history. As important as growth and truth are to my soul, family is equally essential – can these values coexist peacefully, or must one surrender to the other?

I had the same idea. But I never really tried lucid dreaming coz I wasn't sure it'd work and I was afraid that I might freak out. Don't think/worry too much. Try out new things and then see how things go.

Books are not blueprints for success and they can't be. Ultimately whatever results you want to generate. It boils down to your capabilities + opportunity + luck

I've watched his videos and read his articles. Just standard rudamentry advice. Nothing of extraordinary value or deep understanding of things.

Do conscious focused thinking, you will feel becoming more intelligent and effective in an instant. Almost everyone do unconscious thinking. It's difficult but if you can master it. This can be game changer.

Amazing

@Buck Edwards your constantly changing profile pics distract me.

I hope you like and enjoy.

Man, you can't be more misguided. Don't assume that these things are anyway necessary for you to start approaching girls. Satisfy your intimacy needs and see how much better you'll at other things. It is false to think that you need to be financially well, social skills blah blah to be confidant to attract girls. Man, you just need the mindset that you want the relationship. And what you need to do is dress good, look good, small good, have confidence and believe in you, have your strategy and go out and pick up a girl. Just that. I'm telling you based off my own experience. They don't know or care about back story when you attract them, they care what they are seeing, hearing and feeling.

Sometimes I study these things and they don't seem to resonate and apply to my culture and my people. And I feel I'm consuming half-cooked dish.

He sometimes speak poetically and metaphorically. By these type of posts, his aim isn't to shame people less-developed but to point out obvious shortcomings of people that they should be working on. You should never take it as personal criticism. Take it as pointings or guidance and try to read between the lines.

Thanks for Sharing!❣

Great answer2

It's disturbing man.

Well, you basically have fear of conflict. Here's what my strategy is when I feel the fear of any scanario, it works magic for me. ----- Imagine the most probable worst case scanario that can happen when you get into a conflict with him. Remind yourself all the past difficult times you had gone through but you managed to eventually win over the situations ( You alive = you Won). Realize that you can face and bear any difficulty and challenge, Because you have confident that you will win. ---- Don't be a pussy and bullshit yourself that you must avoid conflicts bcause you're a good person. You're not.

Contemplation is not about accessing some bit of useful information from your memory. It's about accessing sharp insights that can't be doubtful for you. Contemplation is when you get a thing.

Original, meta, Paradigms free