Rafael Thundercat

True. I may not be fully Secure but my last relationship that ended recently was for me the proof that sometimes even secure people can lose their shit because they are humans anyway. This is a text I found in my research and I kind of did this process to end it. Not perfectly but the best gracefull way I could. Is hard to see someone sabotage the relationship but for sake of self-worth needing to let the person go. Knowing that she will repeat it again and again. How a secure person ends a relationship with an avoidant. Why secure people leave Secure people don't leave because: the avoidant needed space they struggled with independence they took things personally they need a tactic to pull the avoidant closer They leave when they're noticing that: the same patterns keep repeating their needs aren't being met communication never leads to real change the effort starts coming from only one side The warning signs they start noticing A secure person begins reconsidering the relationship when: promises never lead to real change the hot-and-cold dynamic keeps repeating plans regularly get cancelled emotional availability never actually increases At some point it stops feeling like a rough phase and starts looking like a pattern. What secure people don't do Even when they care deeply, secure people won't: keep having the same conversation over and over beg for basic respect or effort accept promises without real follow-through shrink their needs to keep the relationship going wait indefinitely for someone to become "ready" The decision point Eventually a moment comes where they realize: "I've communicated clearly. I've been patient. I've given this relationship a real chance." But despite all of that, the dynamic hasn't changed. That's when the realization sets in: this is who this person is right now, and that doesn't work for me. How a secure person ends it When a secure person ends the relationship, it usually sounds something like this: "I care about you, but this relationship isn't meeting my needs. I've communicated what I need and things haven't changed, so I'm choosing to move on." There's no dramatic scene, no blame game. Just a clear boundary and the willingness to stand by it. After the breakup After the breakup, a secure person typically: goes no contact to create real space doesn't check their ex's social media doesn't send late-night "I miss you" messages allows themselves to grieve and slowly move forward They don't keep the door half-open in case the other person changes. Why they usually don't come back Secure people rarely return because by the time they leave: they have already communicated their needs several times they have reflected carefully on the decision they trust their judgment they know their needs and boundaries matter they trust that the right relationship exists In most cases, the emotional processing happened before the breakup itself. What the avoidant often loses When a secure person finally walks away, the avoidant often loses someone who: gave them space without creating drama communicated openly and clearly set healthy boundaries instead of controlling them stayed calm and consistent even during conflict And many avoidants only begin to understand the value of that kind of partner much later, once the relationship is already long gone.

@LordFall I had recently a situationship with an Avoidant. I dont hold grudges with her since she is young and for sure will learn with life and experiences that her behaviours will hijack any relationship she enter. But for me I learned what this text bellow from a guy in Instagram posted: "There's one signal that tells you whether a relationship is worth your time. Just one. If you aren't experiencing more peace, more safety, and a deeper sense of self when you're with someone — the relationship is cooked. Full stop. Don't fight for them. Don't get hooked on the "potential." Don't convince yourself once they do a bit more "work" or "heal" it'll work out. That's not your responsibility and says more about where you're at than they are. A relationship is only healthy when you're more relaxed in their presence. When you feel completely chosen. When the default is kindness, devotion, and expanded possibility. If you tolerate anything less than this you are playing childhood games. Recreating scenarios that make you feel like you have to earn your worth, or save someone, or put up with the same bullshit you had as a kid that you thought was love. That isn't their fault, it's yours. The patterns shift through love — not dysregulation. Toxic relating is not healing. Regular dysregulation is not healing. Fighting for your dignity or having to constantly figure out "what you are" to someone isn't healing. Relationship is not supposed to be a crucible. It is not supposed to be you recreating the bullshit dynamic of love modeled to you from your parents and saying is progress. The moment I got ruthless with what I am available for, my entire relational world changed. I stopped fighting for relationships or trying to get something from them I could only give myself. Healing can only happen inside relationship when you've actually healed enough of your own shit. When you stand in your worthiness and are willing to walk away from anything that doesn't make you feel more alive, more free, and more safe. When I did the deeply confronting work of seeing how my relationships just reflected everywhere I hated myself, I entered a relationship that showed me what true love is. No covert contracts. No expectations. A mutual understanding that we're willing to walk away when it doesn't feel aligned any longer. You cannot build self-worth in a relationship. You cannot get it from your partner. That is an impossible burden to put on the both of you. If you need a relationship to get something, you shouldn't be in one. When you no longer need a relationship, you get the exact one you want. Two humans coming together because they want to expand and grow through mutual devotion. Of course there are challenges, but they're the type of challenges you want. Because you stopped choosing from lack and started choosing from fullness. You're not doing the "work" and "healing" in a relationship while your entire lifeforce is being siphoned. You're gaslighting yourself.

For those with instagam account , this is specific for who deals with Avoidands. About giving changes to them https://www.instagram.com/p/Daz6KbmDUFl/?igsh=eXF0NzIzazlheHZv

Well said Natasha. There are plenty of people reaching the same understanding about this https://www.instagram.com/p/DalL_-ZkUEY/?igsh=MXBpMHlmdm0zY2Q2ag==

https://www.actualized.org/insights/why-you-will-forgive-everyone I recently watched the video "How to Forgive anyone who Hurt you" while under effect of 1 gram of Mushrooms and, man that was a hell of a catarsis. Tears pouring down as I understod the POV of my partner who have some traces of Avoidand Attachment and other factors. Also Compassion for myself and my own flaws. Truly, this Awakening work is not only about Realizing God and is over, the embodiment part is as hard as anything else. For anyone holding grundges and hurt, I recomend that video. Not when things get better but rigth in the middle of th struggle.

Luckly there a lot of people out there dealing with the same relational issues and coming up with wisdom to navigate it. https://www.instagram.com/p/DaPGahvjQXq/?igsh=eHBtY2ZncDU1d2hp

Actualized Quotes #684 https://share.google/DeTlH5LN6hqG5B6mI There was 5Meo involved in that God Realization by the client?

As someone told me once. You dont see your reletional issues till you enter a relationship, then when you enter in it all the can of worms open up. This is my case and I am working on this. I Appreciate any good insights on this topic. i am currently watching this

All humans are able to self-hate. Including women.

I dont get what the spider quote relate to this video?? But I still asking myself where is the center of this web since the web is Infinite?

"What scientists don't understand is that demonic faces appearing on the wall is not delusion, demonic faces can appear on the wall because ontologically the wall is made out of Everything/Infinity, which includes demonic faces. Yes, your wall is made out of demons and unicorns" Challenge to test this: Smoking a good Salvia Divinorium and Wall Gaze till the faces start to pop up.

The distinction between Trump and a crocodile is not scientific, it is mental. Seeing Trump as a crocodile is just as valid as any other classification in science. That is not pre-rational, that is post-rational. this is a big mind fuck.

I may be also due lack of Minerals and other causes as Parasites or Sickeness. See how your dreams goes by when you are in a fever state, see how your dreams change when you do a colon,liver cleanse or do a solo retreat not consuming content, sleeping well etc.. I was having nightmares for some time, and I decided was enogth. I did 2 days of Kambô cleanse and my dreams got clarity as well as my daily clarity,focus and sharpness of mind.

God's Imagination https://share.google/kPVHhQUAVXbDknezB I this line of thought so it seems that my personal nigth dreams are a subset and pale version of God infinite imagination. My nigth dreams are wacky uncoherent, and nothing like daily life dream (God Imagination) People really dont grasp the crazyness that we pass the whole day in materialistic set and at nigth we have this dreams that are nothing like physical. People and I used to not question the why something material would be able to have dreams of disconected events,monsters,people you never saw,other landscapes, sometimes pure madness. I used to think this daydreaming was a improvement coming from the nigth messy dream world, but what if this here is the advanced dreamscape and the nigth dreamscape is a deteriorarion of this one since is being brodcasted from a finite limited human mind?

Literally.