Lynx

@Yimpa We are not a couple, our relationship is based on soul wounds, I'm pretty sure I attracted this girl to show me what I need to heal inside of me and same for her.. Thing is we both know we need to work on ourselves to form an healthy relationship and we are both willing to do the work but for now all we seem to do is hurt ourselves in the process.. I'm also trying to learn how to really Love myself but it's been years of trying at this point and it seems to be on and off like the Hearth center is a door that open sometimes and closes the rest of the time, looks like it's closed more often for me though @Norbert Somogyi Yeah, I've experienced that, it's like I'm desperatly in need of Love or even friendship, it's been 6 years of being single at this point and I've repeated enough time that I'm alone to actually become alone (thanks Law of attraction lmao) so when I meet someone it's like something huge where I attach lots of importance in my life so yeah, problem might come from there too

This years I've been presented with a very very tough relationship, I've gone through absolute dark times exposing all of my traumas and shit.. I don't usually believe in twin flame type of things but I'm pretty sure I've got a really strong link with that person, I had a strong deja vu when I first met her so it's probably this. Anyway, I've spent months with her dealing with difficult emotional ups and downs to the point of going mad and I finally realised that what I was feeling was not Love but Attachment which are two different things.. In fact, I feel deeply attached to this person to the point it controls how I feel on a daily basis and it's driving me mad I'm starting to understand the concept of Love without attachment from the Buddhist but I'd like to actually be able to achieve that kind of Love if possible.. How can I proceed? I meditate for 1 hour daily, sometimes more for at least 4 years, I've dable with 5meos multiple times, have experience with Iboga and did a lot of personal work, but still, here I am as a complete newbie sentimentally speaking and I'm starting to feel tired of it already

@OBEler The weather is like an unconscious phenomena, you are doing it as God but you are not fully aware of it, same goes for beating your heart, you are the one doing it but unconsciously so I'm not sure if we can take on full responsibility for that but my point was more about different situations you encounter in Life, you are often the One bringing these situations to evolve or understand different things in order to expand

Once you've uncovered the Truth with 5meo-DMT, there's no going back. These non-dual teachings are serious business, you cannot pretend to endure Life anymore after that, you gotta take full responsibility for what is happening to you because you realise you are the One doing it to yourself from the beginning. Sometimes it can be comforting to pretend someone else is at fault, but if you take the 5meo pill this is not an option anymore. The old stories you used to tell to yourself cannot exist anymore, either you accept full on responsiblity for your Life or you pretend you're not in charge.. But sooner or later, when you go back in this non-dual state again, illusion just drop and you remember. I gotta say these are really challenging teachings for me, taking lots of time to fully integrate so be carefull when stepping in this territory because once you open the door of non-duality, you can't just close it behind you and pretend you didn't see it

@OBEler I mean an oven, something to cook things up sorry for typo. As I approached it the thing started to make biping sound but it happened only once or twice, I think one of my friend noticed but didn't pay much attention to it. Then I had to cook a pizza for everyone. On fucking Lsd, without any recipe or balance to weight stuff, shit was wild ngl ahah

I experienced some glitches when approaching an hoven on Lsd, it kept beeping / changing function when I was near. I knew it came from my changed frequency but my sober friends were puzzled about it. An other day I experienced huge meteoric changes on a high dose of shrooms, it literally started to hail hard which feels almost impossible where I live, there was huge hailstones everywhere and I had to go cover the car outside with my dad during that night. The weirdest thing about it is when I asked people who leave nearby the next day, they didn't have that, it seems the phenomenon was located on a 1 - 2km zone around my house..

Yeah kind of but there's still some things you do unconsciously so to speak like the waves of the ocean, the rain falling, the wind blowing etc... Same thing as when you beat your hearth, you are the one doing it but this action is doing itself, same for the climate and the world around you, you are the one doing it but you're not aware of it. Anyway, there's no need to stress too much about that, you'll discover it when you are ready, just don't take it too seriously and make Life a beautifull dream for you

When you become really conscious in a dream, you realise it's just a dream and you become lucid. From that state you can do whatever you want, the dream respond back to you according to some laws and principles. Now the same applies in waking reality, you can become so conscious that you realise it's a dream, you are dreaming all of it right now and if it's a dream guess what...? There's probably ways to become lucid and control it. That's the incentive to further develop spiritualy and keep going

Can you choose to dream whatever you want to dream when you're asleep? Answer is yes if you learn to do so, it is the same in waking reality, if you learn to master the dream then I guess you can choose whatever you want to experience but first there's a long training process

MDMA is a therapy in itself, it allows to understand your trauma on a deep level and increases your emotional inteligence by tenfold. Gives you lots of empathy so much that you really understand deeply the people around you or yourself if you're doing it alone. I would say the bad comedown is worth it but if you want to avoid it just stay below 100mg, you could even end up with an afterglow this way

@integration journey For me 5-Meo-DMT is the rough father, he shows you non-duality whether you like it or not kinda brute force you into it. MALT is the loving mother, she shows it to you in an absolute loving way, even if you're in the brick of breaking through but you're not quite sure you want to go, she will respect your bondary and put you exactly where you need to be. So to sum it up, 5meoDMT is more masculine energy, straight to the point and MALT is more feminine, very loving and forgiving

@StripedGiraffe I would say trust your Intuition on this one. If you are not so sure you can stay at the same dosage for a little while until you feel comfortable there then move on

@OBEler You will get a feel for it with time, let's say you make the liquid, start by pulling for 5 - 6 seconds on the pen then release and wait for a while and see how you feel. You're not in a rush or something so take your time even if you stay at a low dose for your first time, goal is to know how the pen affects you. After 5 or 10 minute you will know what 5 - 6 sec pull can do then it becomes an entirely intuitive thing, you don't care about what dosage did I put anymore and you just end up trusting 100% your intuition and feel for it. Here is a concrete example as I decided to vape some Malt this morning : I took a tiny pull from the pen to get into the Malt headspace then went straight for another one. "Aaaah Malt is soo good, really loving energy I love it, let's take another one" *Proceed to hit the pen for the third and fourth time* "Okay now I think I'm good, let's lie down in a comfortable and open position without moving" <--- Please don't underestimate this part with 5meo /!\ Then at this moment, I stayed for maybe 2 - 3 minutes and I got this feeling of "I need more", in fact I had repeating thought urging me to take one last hit so I Trusted this feeling and just went for it. I then proceeded to melt with my carpet in a pure ocean of Love. The rest is now history but you get the idea

@Unleash If you are to ever try Malt again, please do it on its own without weed. Pretty sure weed is responsible for the schizo / paranoid episode, great share besides that For me making ejuice with Malt has been an absolute game changer, the vape is not strong (400mg Malt for 3.7g Peg400) so when I take a 5-6 second hit I'm still in low dose territory. I usually take 3 to 4 like this to get where I want to be but the cool part about this option is that you can redose pretty easily if you feel the need to without traumatizing yourself because you took too much. When you vape 15mg with another method for example, you usually take it all at ounce so it's too late when you realise you took too much... A properly dosed vape pen can avoid this problem

I've tried 2CB for the first time yesterday, here is my report : I took half a supposedly 24mg pill then went for a ride with my ebike and took the other half with me. I took the other half one hour later, didn't have nausea this way as my stomach was empty. I felt a sense of love energy on the comeup, I was lead to a cool place I didn't know with a beautifull view and a huge tree, I laid there for a couple of minute meditating before going back. What struck me is the clear headed space, it's literally like being sober but you're not, it's hard to explain. I encountered some random guy who I talked to without problem at all then after some time decided to head back home. It's where I really felt it, put on some music then went showering. I can draw some comparison to explain what it felt like, 2CB is like a light beer (0% alcohol) whereas LSD is regular beer, you got the visuals from LSD but without the headspace and insights. Some euphoria here and there but that's about it. When I decided to eat, visuals got turbo boosted. Now I was seeing stuff giggling around me, breathing the way it does on LSD. I wasn't feeling so great all in all and didn't like it that much for spiritual purpose but I had a great time watching Spiderman new generation which was really amazing in that state. In the end I think it's a great compound if you need to go somewhere with people around like a concert, cinema, art gallery or just going outside enjoying the view but if you're only after spiritual work I don't think it's the best (or at least for me with the dose I tried, everyone's different)