Clarence

I don't know the spiders from other countries, but here in Europe, the Tegenaria Domestica is very common. They can be quite big, but they are harmless. I'm quite scared of spiders, but when they appear, I know it's just temporary and that they will soon find a place to live and hide. So I just try not to disturb them and I avoid them. It can cause some me bad nights when they appear in my room before I go to bed, but I tell myself that they won't stay there and that they are as scared of me as I am of them. If it was an unknown spider, and potentially a dangerous one, I would catch it to release it outside, just to make sure.

That's a very deep experience you've had. I'm sorry I can't give good answers to your questions, as I've not been through anything similar. I've never tripped with people around, and the only time I kind of blacked out was on 5-MeO-MALT. The only downside of this trip was that I couldn't remember much of it, but nothing weird happened. Since then, I've been taking lower quantities of all psychedelics. Out of interest, as I also take this substance, may I ask what your dose and method of administration were? I also wonder how experienced you are with psychedelics and what your sensitivity to them is usually like.

@Leo Gura Thank God

I didn't know there were two different concepts and so two different meanings. It makes sense now how I got the definition so wrong. Half-jokingly in the sense that you didn't make it sound serious while it should have been made serious? I never got that you were half-joking. I always thought you were being very serious. Or in the sense that you agree you were speaking seriously, but we should have got that you were half-joking (which I missed entirely). I'm very confused about the true meaning. It isn't obvious to me which one it is.

Oh wow, with this definition, it’s obvious that I am not. Thanks. Then, is that also what you pointed to when you talked about content that could blackpill us? I don't know if it is the right place, but I also wanted to apologize for my reaction (if you remember it). First, I didn’t imagine the right kind of content, and second, even if I had, it wasn’t wise to respond while under the influence of my emotions.

Ok, but I still don't get it. I've dated people and made both male and female friends despite being blackpilled (according to this definition). This lingering feeling of depression is obviously hard to live with and has an affect on my life, but it doesn't fully prevent socialization. Actually, meeting people with a different outlook on the world has been highly helpful to me. It at least helped me recognize that there were other ways to live. I guess it can reduce socialization, but not always, as both are not incompatible. I'm currently very satisfied with the friends I have and am not interested in romantic relationships at the moment. But when I desired to date, I did.

I thought Blackpill was a form of depression and negativity caused by the overwhelming suffering and injustices in the world, such as wars, animal and human torture, pollution, environmental destruction, humanity's low level of cognitive development, etc. As long as this dark lense of viewing the world isn't completely out of control and proportion, I don't see how it would directly affect one's ability to socialize. I perceive it more as a lingering sense of sadness, despair, or anger. Of course, it can intensify at times, but it would broadly affect one's life and not necessarily prevent socialization or talking to woman. Did I get this wrong?

I love rats.

@Davino But why couldn't God know? If God was fully unlimited, an impossibility to know something would be a limitation. I understand that God can choose to forget (when taking a human form, for example), but couldn't a part of God, a "higher part", know absolutely everything, such as why it created this reality the way it did or why and how this human came to exist as it does? It doesn't make sense that such a major thing would exist, yet "no one" would know how or why it happened. I believe there must be an Intelligence above knowing things we don't. From my perspective, the impossibility of reaching this knowledge while in human form doesn't prove that it's impossible for God to know it in any way.

@Ero I'm not asking about the micro per se, but about a more fundamental question, which is: why is this reality the way it is? For example, why are we human and not another species? Why do we live in a material world and not another kind of world? Why were we created with such limitations, mentally and physically? Why are we so unconscious and evolving so slowly as a species? Why did we come into existence the way we did, and what was that way exactly? Why are we on this planet specifically and not another? Etc. I wonder how all of this came into existence, why it happened the way it did, and why it is the way it is. Those are the kinds of questions I'm thinking about here.

But God must know the answers to all possible questions, right? Does that mean we could also know them if we were to reach the most Absolute level of Consciousness and Omniscience? Or would we need to completely forget about ourselves, with no possibility of remembering, to access such answers? But then, it would mean the same as being unable to know. I don't understand why we can know so much about the macro level but so little about the micro level. This is really weird, as they are both One and therefore deeply connected.

Do you think it would be possible to access the answer to that question with psychedelics?

I think there was some misunderstanding. I was actually trying to express the opposite of your post. I deeply desire to learn everything Leo has to share about those extremely deep topics, which contain life-changing understandings. What hurt me is that he said he wouldn’t record those videos. I was just very disappointed.

You absolutely excel in your domain. And I don't see anyone excelling so well at it. When we talk on the forum about other thinkers and spiritual people, none of them come close to your understanding of Consciousness and Humanity. No one is capable of equivalent depth and accuracy. To me, your domain of mastery is the most important one, but then again, humanity is not there yet to value it. If your domain was chess or a sport, it would be much easier for you and for everyone else to see how good you are. Deficiencies don't reduce any of that. They give you humanity. They don't make you any less exceptional at what you're doing or in who you're being. I don't exactly know what deficiencies you're thinking about. I know about your health problems or the extreme shyness you overcame, but I honestly don't know if those are the kinds of things you have in mind, or if you think about stuff like not being good enough at ''understanding complex technical stuff like math, research papers, or computer code" (as if this even mattered). I mean, who would expect or want you to master all those things? And who would expect or want you to be perfect? You're already far more advanced than most people, and that already creates a great gap. Many people don't understand you, they criticize you or try to diminish you because what you say flies far above their heads. But many others see you and your worth with more clarity. You can make mistakes and be imperpect in some areas, that doesn't make a difference. You also are human. All the greatest men and women have made mistakes and were imperfect in some aspects. I think you have some wrong perceptions about (your) deficiencies and what they mean. Whatever those are or whatever you're thinking about, they certainly don't outweigh your qualities and your giftedness (and the fact that you're the best in this). Yes… you have very, very unique genetics.

To me, you are a genetic freak. I think most genetic freaks are absolutely exceptional in one domain (sport, music, mathematics, or any other), but rather normal, or even below average, in other domains. You're talking in this post as if your kind of intelligence and the understanding of mind weren't a big deal, but it is such a big deal. If you didn't have all those important qualities and interests, at such depths, and all combined, Actualized.org would not exist, or it wouldn't be of this quality. You're not just a bit good at what you're doing… you're phenomenal. Literally no one can match your quality of thinking and your understanding, and the broadness of it. Isn't that what we mean by genetic freak? No one can beat the most talented chess player, the most talented cyclist, or the tallest man in the world. They all have something so unique about themselves that they end up alone at the top. And I think that's where you are. Alone at the top. No one can match you or catch up with you. No amount of tripping or thinking or contemplation can bring others to where you're at. Almost no one (or no one) even desires to understand mind as much as you do. There is something so different about you, and I think that difference comes from a very deep place. You remember your blog post about "Spawn Count"? I know you don't like this kind of spirituality and that you don't even believe in souls, so I apologize for bringing this up, but I think that you are so different because you aren't of human origins to begin with. It makes a lot of sense to me that you are from another place in the universe, whatever that is and whatever that means. It looks like you've come here to accomplish something important… but that this planet isn't your home. This planet is no one's true home, as we're all "spiritual beings", but this looks even more true for you. - As a side note, I am hesitant to write these three last paragraphs, as talking about souls and the like is a rather sensitive topic, but to me, it's no wonder you're the one who discovered Alien Consciousness, Alien Intelligence, and Alien God. Who else could have done it? You're not just any Alien, you're a masterful one.

Aren't you one of the greatest (if not the greatest) philosopher of all time, as well as one of the most (if not the most) advanced human on this planet? To me, that makes you worldclass and a genetic freak in your domain (the simple fact that you are that sensitive to psychedelic already is a thing, but your mind is also so unique). You're not well known, but that is because humanity is not ready for you yet, not because you aren't the greatest in what you're doing. The work you've done with psychedelics, contemplation and through insights is just incredible. I've not seen anyone go into so much depth, in so many domains, to make sense of it all with great precision, and articulating it so well to the world. It required a lot of hard work that I can't even begin to imagine, but it also required extremely specific genetics, that pretty much no one else on this planet has. (If you were solely answering about chess, sorry for the misunderstanding).

Thank you, Leo! Can't wait to know the topic

I think drug addicts are a special case, even if they were from decent families. I think a lot of those people are in great suffering—to start consuming in the first place, but also living with and breaking free from such addictions must be hell. I feel some compassion for those people. They may commit terrible actions, which is not likeable, but I can't help but think that they need help more than anyone. It might often be impossible to help them, but that makes their problems and suffering even worse. Yes, but people can't choose their parents, and many parents are incapable of educating and loving their children properly. They are themselves ignorant and immature in certain aspects. Can people help themselves from ignorance and immaturity? I feel like a certain level of maturity and wisdom is a prerequisite for people to do good and improve themselves on their own. Now, for people who have those qualities easily accessible but choose to conduct themselves poorly, I agree that they bear a greater responsibility for change and good conduct. However, something might still be lacking or 'wrong' with them—such as being very uncaring for whatever reason, in deep suffering, or not insighful enough at a certain point in their life. We don't know anyone's full story. @Sempiternity Good feedback. I honestly thought that people who caused similar problems to the ones you were committing would not have cared about the possible consequences of their actions even after being made aware of them directly. But I feel like wisdom alone would have been enough to save you from committing such behaviors (as you could have imagined those crimes being committed to you and felt the pain it would have caused). I might be wrong, but I feel like education about the consequences of violence is especially needed when people aren't inherently empathetic. And this is something I take for granted as I have been highly empathetic from birth.

Indeed, but is the majority coming from good households? I know some people do well later in life despite growing up in bad environnents too, but very often, people behave a lot like their parents and have similar mental capacities. Your friend still had a better chance to choose another life trajectory than some people do. People who have bad genetics and bad, unskilled or uncaring parents have things set much harder for them. I think it's right not to judge everyone as harshly, especially as we don't know them from a video.

I think you're a bit harsh, because not everyone has high intelligence and mental capacities. I think that genetics play a big role here also, and a lack of these qualities must impair those people's ability to reflect on themselves and change their condition. Your children would have a much higher chance of having a sane mind right from birth, and they would grow up in some of the best conditions. It sounds unfair to me to somehow compare them to drug addicts and such, as showing videos of this kind to those people when they were young likely wouldn't have been a cure. I don't necessarily feel much for them either, especially when they hurt others in the videos (I've just watched 2-3), but I think there should still be some balance in term of judgment and felt compassion. I'm not sure it is fully healthy to be entertained from watching people in pain and misery, but I understand it is a good case to study.

@Leo Gura I don't think I could get any more depressed or blackpilled by this world and humanity than I already am. I actually think it would help a lot to have it played out it front of me, rather than having it play out in my mind only. I feel so alone seeing all that is wrong. I feel like this is the video I need the most. I've been needing it for years. I honestly think it would help me a lot to evolve past it. Edit: I've watched tens of hours of videos of animals being slaughtered when I was 14 years old, while they were the beings I cared the most about. I've been depressed and blackpilled ever since. As an extremely sensitive person and teenager, I couldn't know how to handle the cruelty I was facing, while no one one around me even dared to look at the images. Nothing you could ever say in your videos could have the impact the slaughterhouses videos had on me when I was so young. So I really wish I could hear your words (even if the topics are different), as I'm sure you would articulate things so well that it could change my thinking about them. And if they were not changing my thinking, it would at least be beneficial to have an open discussion about this.

Why does it matter whether I get depressed or not? I'm already deeply depressed by this world. It's depressing that you punish us this way indeed.

That's so frustrating to hear. I'd rather not know the reasons if the reason is this. Are you intentionally trying to frustrate us by saying this? I am curious, because this is the effect it has on me. It’s as depressing and blackpilling as the video itself could be. I don't know if I'm the only one to feel this way.

Yes, I do find them useful and valuable. They're really well written and sharp. I love them.

I've never taken psychedelics abroad, but in hotel rooms I have. If I had no other option but to travel, I'd go to the Netherlands (likely to Maastricht) early in the afternoon to buy the truffles, check in at my hotel room, and put the truffles in the fridge if there is one. I'd make sure to have lemons, a grinder, and everything I’d need to eat and drink for the next day. In the morning, I'd take the magic truffles and leave the rest of the day free to contemplate and rest. I'd also make sure in advance that no one will come in for house keeping. I’d then go home on the third day. I've tried making magic truffle tea three times, but it always failed (despite measuring the water's temperature), so I decided to simply eat them. They don't really make me nauseous, but they taste awful. My best strategy is to grind them (so I don't have to chew), mix them with lemon juice, let them sit for a bit, and then swallow them as quickly as possible. It is not nice. My first-ever trip was on 16g of Atlantis truffles. I had planned to start with 7-8 grams, but the tea always failed and I didn't want another failed attempt. That quantity was right for me for a first trip. I then tried higher doses and stronger truffles, as I really wanted deep awakenings (and I had them). I'm still very fond of this substance and it was perfect as a first psychedelic.