Clarence

Thanks for your answers. So it means that one's imagination plays a big role in guiding these trips, more than the simple intent of exploring something completely new? That's extreme. Do you think it could have been (or could be) possible to have such deep expereriences without getting close to physically dying?

@Leo Gura Can you tell us about how many of these awakenings you've had? And if they were all very different from one another? You gave us a lot of details about one of them (the alien kangaroo-mouse). I wonder if the others were somewhat similar to this one or if they were completely different. I also wonder if you wrote reports after each of these awakenings (even if just for yourself)? I'm still very interested in this topic and can't wait to have my first experiences. From my last few trips, I now better understand what it means that the trips build on top of each other. It now makes sense to me that the first few trips (you even said the first hundred trips, I think) are nothing. I could not fully make sense of that until recently. Now it's really obvious.

Yes, I think it is a good way to get some understanding about what can happen at the moment of death, but obviously it doesn't give much answers about what happens after that. Maybe past-life regressions for remembering the time in-between lives can help for that specific part, or reading testimonies as well. But it must be nice to do the regression for oneself or to get access to that knowledge through other direct means.

I know that; it doesn't contradict what I say. Whether you want to call it magic or something else, I understand that there doesn't have to be any rules after life; I'm just saying that there could be some - in the sense that, maybe after we die, we still aren't completely free or still have some limitations, despite transcending all of them in the reality we know. Maybe there is still some "order" after human death. But then again, maybe there is none. I just tend to think that we can't know for sure what happens unless we die, as there can't be 100% certainty that what we've realized in this life is what will happen after dying. We can know that it is all an illusion, among quite many other things, but we can't know what a human who has lost their life experiences exactly.

Death/physical death is imaginary, but there must still be a major shift happening within one's consciousness when it occurs, and we might not get to know for sure how that shift unfolds. I feel like realizing that death is imaginary doesn't completely answer how that shift (and the afterlife) will be like when dying, and that it is much easier to realize the imaginary nature of death than it is to know what the process of death will be like exactly. Obviously I'm not sure, but seeing how limited we are as human, it would kind of make sense to have a certain process in place (with maybe a sense of continuity), as there likely is a sort of process in place also for a human to be born (even if that is imaginary). As life on Earth and in the universe is such a grand orchestration that we are not at all in control of, it would be plausible if there were some "set rules" also at play at the moment of death. So I quite agree that we might not be able to get all the precise answers unless we actually die. Though, I'd love to be wrong and to know of a way to find out all the details.

How can one be sure that the process of physical death is the exact same as the process of God/Love Realization on psychedelics? As people have completely different experiences on psychedelics, wouldn't it make more sense that people would also have different experience going through death and right after death? For exemple, some might experience infinite love while others might experience confusion or something else? I'm not completely sure of what you mean when you say that "death is love". I understand it as: anyone who dies, directly experiences love. But if that's what you're saying, I wonder how certain that can be.

I'm sorry to hear for your grandfather. That's really though that it lasted so long for him. Indeed, it could have been worse for her, but it also could have been much better, so it's still hard to accept. You're right that it will take time. It's been two weeks already and it's still hard to fully realize or believe that she has passed. The mind is so shocked it can't properly process the information. It is such a weird state to be in. Hopefully, it is the case for her… though I still have no certainty about that. I hope it is the case, but I don't have any way to be sure of it right now. When I was at the funeral home the day after she passed, I could feel a lot of love and energy in the room. I felt at home near her, as I had promised that I would stay by her side to the end. That energy stayed with me for some time after, but then it passed. I don't know to which extent I created this energy or actually perceived it. I don't think it is a guarantee that all souls experience complete love and freedom after they pass. Maybe that's what happens to all, but also, maybe not. Perhaps the transition from life to death is harder for some. So I hope her current path is not too hard now, and that she indeed experienced, or is experiencing, that complete love and freedom…

One second I was with my grandmother, the next second, she was gone. I am heartbroken and feel so much guilt and regrets for all the things I haven't done for her. The last 6 months, I had become exhausted of living with her. I had enough. I had stopped doing my best for her, as if I had let her go already. Her death was sudden and completely unexpected at this time. She woke up one morning with a swollen and painful leg, the doctor and palliative nurse decided to give her morphine for the pain. But it all went downward from then. She had all kinds of weird reactions to the drug, we wondered if she wasn't too confused and lost in her mind on it. As the day went by, she completely stopped standing, eating on her own and talking. We wanted to replace the morphine because her reaction didn't feel comfortable and because I thought she wouldn't have any chance to come back if we didn't, but her state didn't improve after changing medecine. By the fourth and fiftth day after that first morning, she couldn't move a muscle anymore. She couldn't lift her arm to her face, and she coudn't give us a single reaction when we asked if she felt pain. The pain in her leg started on the 16th of july, early morning (or night). And by the 20st, she was gone. She passed at 11h55 pm, with my mother and I by her side. Her capacity to breath had started to disminish a few hours before, and then she suffocated. She was trying hard to inhale air, but she couldn't anymore. She was in a deep form of sleep with the morphine we had started back and another medecine called scopolamine, which is used to prevent people from drowning when the lungs fill up with liquid. We could hear the sound of the liquid when she breathed the last hours. It was a traumatizing end, for her and for us. Her last five days and the moment of her death were really difficult and painful. She was the sweetest person, so it feels even harder to know that she suffered so much. All the nurses and doctors we called the last two days were completely incompetent (it was the weekend). And it was not a good thing to give her morphine on the first day to start with. My mother and I still struggle to feel at peace with all that happened. It's really painful, and my mother and I really regret not to have done better for her the last few months. We were exhausted, but we feel so much regrets and guilt, that we feel we could have done better. It's really, really sad. And we miss her.

@Lila9 Thank you for your nice words. It's really sweet and brings some comfort...

Thanks. We'll see. But the truth is that we don't exactly know what happens after death. Maybe it's confusing to die in such a way with all the drugs and such a rapid, unexpected, decline. I really wonder how she experienced all this… Maybe she still wanted to stay with us, but we performed all the wrong actions for her to die. Though now, I'm really curious to go through my own death. So you're right. That's one of the thoughts that give me peace. I want to know what happens, at least for me. But it's a bit depressing that I might need to wait 60 years or more if I were to die of old age :'(

We don't know… she had side effects which were rare and after three days we decided to stop it to replace it with another painkiller because we were worried about her reaction. But a day later, she was feeling a lot of pain because the doctors gave her medecine to take orally while she could not properly digest and swallow anymore. They should have been given her drugs intraveinously only. It was terrible to see her suffer during that period, with nothing we could do because the nurses and the on-call doctor that came were so incompetent. He did not even recognize the signs that she was near the end of her life. He thought that she needed to go to the bathroom, and that she should start getting her cognitive capacity back after that… while all her organs were starting to fail, starting with the kidneys. Once again… we didn't do the right thing because we were completely misguided. We know a lot about what was happening now, but then, we didn't know. Though, the doctors and nurses should have known. In the end, she just had a swollen leg. We feel like we precipitated her death starting morphine, while it wasn't our intention at all. Only the last 4-6 hours, when we gave her morphine one last time, were a bit more peaceful, but she was completely unconscious then. It's really hard to know how she felt overall…

What's funny is that some time after you talked about this possibility, I had a dream where you turned into an alien. You literally demonstrated that to us in my dream, in your usual video format. The dream was so vivid I thought it was reality. So maybe I have enough consciousness to see you turn into an alien

It's not contradictory. We did well for 3 years, but the last six months, I had become too tired. Life had become too difficult. The little time I had for myself, I completely lost because we adopted a puppy. I had too much to take care of and was feeling awful. It's not contradictory, it's just so difficult to do things perfectly for so long, especially without any break. We've not had a single day of rest this whole time. I stepped back because I was dying inside. I was still there everyday with her, but doing much less because of my health. Now I deeply regret not having pushed myself harder and not foreseeing anymore that she could die any time. I would have done better if I was thinking straight, but I had lost that capacity to see clearly. It doesn't change the fact that taking care of her was the right thing to do. The regrets and guilt I have are exactly for that reason… for the times where I failed to take good care of her. Thank you.

No… but I loved her deeply. She could not survive by herself anymore due to her old age. We cannot just discard people when they grow old, especially when they have done everything for us when they were able to, and when they loved us so deeply. Taking care of her was the right and normal thing to do. It was our responsability as her children and grandchildren, despite society making it seem normal not to care for the elderly. Thanks for your message though. I just didn't feel like this part was right…

However, you introduced the list by saying "people need to", rather than "what worked for me". That changes the whole meaning of your message.

That's good, but you already have to be pretty functionnal to start doing any of these things. Sometimes people need external help to start with, to unlock the ability to do these things. I don't necessarily mean help from psychologists though, as their capacity to help is pretty limited and that kind of therapy is extremely slow, but to find the right people at the right time to do the right type of work/healing, can be the most helpful events for some people towards healing, as it can help unlock deep blockages, causes of fatigue, suffering, and so forth, when they can't do it by themselves. It's quite common to be unable to access parts of the subconscious and stuff at the soul level as a human. Issues are not always coming from the human mind only. We are much more than just the human mind. At least, from my experience and the experience of people around me (which are not necessarily dealing with depression), problems can come from other places than the physical body and the mind, though everything is connected. In the end, it all depends on the depth of the issue and the level at which it is truly located.

Haha, no, I meant that I don't understand why you are so invested in me. What difference does it make to you what I get out of a course? Absolutely nothing. You are getting triggered over things that don't even concern you. But thank you for caring. I don't know what would happen if you weren't there to share your wise words.

@NoSelfSelf Well, good for you if you don't overthink. For me, that wasn't enough information. I don't even understand why you get so negatively reactive to what I write. Maybe you should reevaluate yourself after you're done finding faults in me.

@NoSelfSelf I don't question buying them; I will buy them regardless of the answer. I just wonder if there is an ideal order to complete them. It won't make much difference to wait three more months if it is better to work on programming the subconscious mind first. The way I see it, it might make sense to do that if it could help complete the Life Purpose Course more effectively, as some fears and blockages could prevent getting a clear vision of one's life purpose. But this is just a supposition I have, which is why I was asking if there was an ideal order. If there is none, then I'll know it's best to decide based on my current preferences and desires. I also know now that doing both at the same time is not a good option, which is pretty valuable information to take into account. It would certainly be beneficial to reprogram my overthinking tendency and my need for perfection. It doesn't turn me into an idiot, but definitely slows me down. I'm conscious of that. I think for myself constantly and I also constantly question whether what I think is right or not.

My question is not about buying. You can't even properly understand a simple question and you're being aggressive for no reason. Hope you can see that your text is disrespectful and completely useless to what I asked.

For those who haven't taken the Life Purpose Course yet, would it be better to take this one first? Maybe there's an order that would facilitate the next course. Or, since you said they synergize well, would it be a better option to start and do them both at the same time to work on both fronts right from the start? (I'm an overthinker, but maybe I'm not alone with this question).

I believe it should help get past blockages and fears we hold? I personally have a deep blockage around money, especially around spending money. I absolutely hate spending, but I love having a bit more each month in my bank account. I currently have a low income, but despite that, I have a decent amount on my bank account which I'm not doing anything with (maybe also because it feels safer to keep hoarding). But I'm aware that I should invest more in myself as I can afford it… but the fear and discomfort of spending is so strong that I keep holding myself back. It literally feels painful in my whole body to buy something… even something I find very meaningful or highly needed. Still, I've recently started to spend on all kind of therapies and I've been feeling some improvements in my mental state already, but I haven't directly addressed that issue yet. I guess it could well be addressed at the subconscious level through that kind of course, as I consciously know that I should be more relaxed around money, but I just can't, as I'm not directly in control of my fears and blockages, it feels. I'm sharing a lot, but basically, I'm just wondering if the course will address those kinds of issues or if it will be geared towards people not having strong fears and blockages to start with, but who already are on a good growth curve in life.

Now that's motivating. I want to eat them fast!

But the advanced stuff gives purpose! In that sense, it's what drives me the most to live and improve my human life. Without passion and purpose, it's hard to find interest in human matters in the first place. I wouldn't be suprise if my life purpose had a lot to do with understanding consciousness. At least, that's what makes me want to deal with the human shit. So in that sense, it does a lot for my human life… But I get that alien consciousness is not directly going to improve one's life and that grounded self-help is highly needed still. That sounds amazing.

I am finally starting to feel ready to buy and start the life purpose course. I guess I'll have to take two courses now… I'm pretty indecisive, so I don't know which one to start with. But thank you! I've always felt like programming my subconscious mind was the kind of self-help I needed, because I've often felt frozen to take action due to my mental health conditions. Though, I've seen some improvements lately, which is why I can now contemplate starting the life purpose course. I'm pretty happy also to be here for the launch of this new course, as I had to quit Actualized.org more than once because simply watching videos and having them in mind was causing too much pain for me as I was struggling so much with basic stuff. I must admit however that I was expecting a course on alien consciousness and psychedelics. So I can't help but feel a bit of disappointment that it's not the one coming. But at the same time, I was not expecting (or wishing for) it to come that quickly either. I'm still very excited to explore consciousness on my own right now and hopefully build the life that will allow me to make the best use of this course when it will be released. If it is still on your mind :).