heeaffes

I've always been careful when it comes to things that might cause an injury. When I played sports, I was always afraid of getting in physical contact, getting tackled and so on. When I ride my bike I'm always careful on the turns so I don't fall or whatever. And I have had this problem as long as I can remember. Why it has become a huge problem is because I want to try out some sports. I'm getting really interested in rugby, american football, different kind of combat sports like mma. But the only thing which is holding me back is that I know I'm going to be a pussy and being afraid of going all in. I have this mental block whenever I'm going to make a tackle or something similar. What I'm hoping to hear is if there is any way for me to get over it. Am I doomed to be a pussy? Or can I change my mindset just like someone who's socialy anxious can become a talkative extrovert. Where do I start? This shit is holding me back in so many ways and I hate this weakness.

Probably because I have this image of a perfect me (the one I've created a long time ago, the witty handsome charming guy), sounds like bad self image? Because I don't have bad self esteem, but my self image is probably another story I guess I've always felt like I'm a special snowflake in a narcisistic way (I can judge people by appearance because "I'm so much more handsome"). And what I've realised just a few weeks ago is that at my new job (where there are a lot of guys in my age) I'm not that special. I kinda envy some people for their wittyness and so on. Maybe I'm realising that I'm not special, which on the other hand is good but also kind of depressing Thanks for the feedback all of you! It's a lot easier to understand why I am who I am...

This is something I think I've done my entire life. And it's pretty much the only thing I'm thinking of. It's not thoughts of what I should do or will be doing, or any negative thoughts of me etc. What I do in my mind pretty much 24/7 is making these fake scenarios in my head. It's either about past events where I edit the conversation to things I wanted to say or should have said it, or it's about scenarios that "may" happen where I imagine what I would say (I'm always so witty and cool in these made up scenarios). This can't be healthy right? And how can I fix something I've done pretty much my entire life?