Linda22

@roopepa Thank you so much for advice! I try to love my ego more… it helps me to forget it lolz. Yup, hating and resisting it is worse. I try to love it and accept it. I resisted it for so long but it’s impossible to forget the past without accepting it and I think I realized that better. But I still know nothing.. idk:))

Hi everyone? I feel very bad today. I don’t want to tell my story and share my feelings, I don’t think it’s necessary. I just want to say that I discovered how much I hate myself. It’s what makes me unavailable to live lately. I was much more productive and loving. So long story short, should I forget about myself as much as I can? Maybe almost completely if it’s possible? Will it be right to meditate all day and night and just forget about my responsibilities as an ego for sometime? I really don’t know what to decide because I can’t love myself as a human being no matter how hard I try. Sometimes I think Judas didn’t hate himself as much as I hate myself. I know that’s stupid, I am neither a serial killer nor I r*pe people but I r*pe myself lol. Yup, there’s no way I can function as a human being right now. I just want to escape my ego completely. Should I try it? I know ego is still necessary for survival but please tell me that I should let it go as much as I can if it suffers me that much. thank you for reading.

@Hojo haha, maybe:))

@SamC ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@WelcometoReality Yes, That’s right! But social anxiety isn’t only problem I have unfortunately. I don’t think socially anxious people are worse than anyone else. It’s just.. I feel too much pressure right now. I feel better rn but I don’t know? I force myself so much and feel much more energetic and happy. I am scared I am bipolar too because my mood changes so quickly lately. Thank you so much for advice and I am so so happy to meet someone with the same issue I have!!?

@Yimpa Self-compassion?? So important❤️

@Hojo yes I agree with you. I just want it super hard to make choices in life right now. I still want to forget life and my ego and run in India lolz but I don’t know I feel like it will irresponsible to leave everyone and everything so easily.

I think you should tell police even though 2months have passed because I am 99% percent sure he will r*pe someone again. sorry for saying this but I do think so.

I want to add that I still feel so anxious of course but it’s like.. I sometimes get free from it. I feel like I can do it one day. I hope soon but it will be hard since it suffers me all day and night, when I am asleep too.

I am really grateful that people like you exist. Thank you so much for supporting me!!? I feel better now because I literally forced myself SO SO SOO HARD to go out and be social and normal. I was so bullied in school that I lost all faith in me. Also my dad used to physically hurt me but I don’t really want to blame anyone for my difficult situation… anyways, I forced myself going out. I left house and went to university after a long time. I got on a faculty which is the hardest one to be accepted on in Georgia but I stopped studying after anxiety made me go “insane”. Today I told myself that no matter how embarrassing my past situations were, no matter how badly I was bullied, no matter how much pain was I feeling I just needed to go. I did it cause I have done that in past when I felt more awakened. This experience made me gain so much friends even though I didn’t care about friends and life generally lolz. So when entered the room, I felt so much fear but again I forced myself to stay positive and it was so uncomfortable but I did it!! And everyone in my university were so loving to me, suddenly my anxiety left me and I thought that it was a miracle. I wanted to cry honestly because I haven’t felt so calm for a decade. It was a bliss. We had a great time!! Few times I embarrassed myself because I don’t remember social skills so well right now but still we got closer. I posted something on Instagram and so many of them liked it lolzz. I also met my neighbor and she told me oh you look so great and different today!! I saw my university lecturer too and was a little bit scared to talk to him but I still said hi and had a conversation with him. Turned out he was a shy person too. I am so happy and grateful Thank you for always being there for me when I post and thanks God! I will never forget this day because it gave me so much faith. I can’t believe!! All the way back home I was crying I did something I thought I could not do anymore (Btw for those of you who are interested I am 18years old)

@nhoktinvt Ughh, thank you so much. I really want to throw my ego but thanks. For universe it doesn’t matter in what condition I live right? I really want to think about higher self. What if I awaken and then become strong enough to love my ego? I really want to forget about my life and don’t worry about my future. I just want someone experienced to tell me that it’s fine if I let go my ego because I also hurt my family members. I am indifferent to them and don’t care about them as much as I did in past. I lost friends because of my shyness and hurt on of my friend so badly because I was angry and toxic. I want to let go of my ego so badly and I don’t understand what’s bad about it? I am a human right but I think it’s completely normal to forget about it until you are ready to function as a person again.

@AndylizedAAY I am so sorry? I don’t understand what you mean but yeah I feel bad about myself and so guilty. I have a terrible social anxiety and I feel like I am a failure in everyone’s eyes. I wasn’t like this always, for sometime I got so much better that I was giving others advices but now everyone left me because I am a loser and I don’t even want to leave house. I think I have agoraphobia because sometimes I am scared that everyone is looking at me at transport and they think I am crazy because I look so anxious. Yup I am stupid and paranoid but seriously, I want to become a monk lolz. I am really tired of caring about my place in society. sorry I am not a native English speaker. I hope you understood well.

Thank you so so much!! How can I not try my best after these words?? I wish you the best really!

Hi guys.. I am new here soo I hope I will not write something stupid lol I just want to tell about me shortly. So I am just 18years old but I am not mentally strong. I have been practicing spirituality since I was 14. It really helped me beat my social anxiety, depression, I wasn’t addicted to cutting anymore and I became more loving which is ughh the best experience I have ever had. I attracted people after I stopped caring about their attention. Also I became more awakened because I started studying Buddhism and Hinduism, also Leo’s teachings were helping me A LOT!! so thanks ? but at some point I got bored you know and I stopped practicing spirituality. I didn’t think I would get bored but it happened since I was not really enlightened. I was just more aware of reality but I didn’t experience a serious enlightenment and mental health problems appeared again. I suffer much more now. I am trying to focus on studies but it’s really hard. I was a very good student but now I can’t study for more than hour a day to be honest. Also my Social anxiety became crippling again. Sometimes I look so weak and it is really ashaming. I think everyone thinks that I am weak and I can’t stop these thoughts because I am addicted to them, also people don’t respect me anymore and they surely view me as a weak person. When I tell myself to go back to spirituality I can’t! Because I feel like I am using it as an escape! I want to first go back to studying and socialize and then focus on enlightenment but it seems impossible. It seems impossible to do any of them first. I don’t know I am stuck. I am forever glad if you read my boring story:)

Okay. I read. Thank you so much to all of you for expressing your opinions!❤️

What do you guys think about it?

@Shane Hanlon Thank you for giving me some helpful types, Shane! It feels awesome to know that strangers can understand you that deeply. You are right. I try to think less about myself and more about others, It helps. It’s just hard when you have a low self-esteem. When others compliment me I can’t take it and I never value my successes. I know I lose so much time in self-pity and it’s not necessary but maybe once I will forgive myself for being anxious for years and will start a new life. It’s what I need. Forgiveness and faith that everything can change doesn’t matter how much you fall back into old habits. I am so so happy for you. You seem like a happy human. Maybe you won so many battles with anxiety. I hope you will never struggle while interacting with others because you also seem so kind and understanding. I wish you the best bro? Thank you again, I will remember your advices and love you too!?

@zurew ok. I understand your point but we should both have our own opinion???

There are so much to do in life. I am not saying I’m doing more than others but it’s so dumb that many parents try to confuse their children when they are still a kid instead of helping them to grow up in a healthy environment with good mental health and goals. You shouldn’t force your child anything, neither having life goals nor becoming transgender but I see his parents force him. Especially his dad who doesn’t feel comfortable enough in his body.

If someone is suicidal because of that, I get it but I can’t believe 8 years old can get suicidal because she/he can’t change the identity.

@zurew I have gay and bisexual friends and I support them but I don’t support this no matter what. I feel like it has become a trend for some to change their child’s identity when he/she is just 5-10 years old. This is not the first, second or third time I see it. If it continues like that our future generations will not care about anything except thinking what gender they are all their life

@zurew But what if this kid changes mind in future? I don’t understand how it’s justified but okay, it’s your opinion but I wouldn’t do this to my child. I would wait until puberty. Listen to Jordan Peterson, he is a conservative but a great psychologist. Suicide rate is high already because many transgenders have had surgery and then they wanted to come back in their old body. It happens when you don’t have enough patience(I know it’s difficult) to reach the age when you actually can see more clearly who you are and what you want. There must be a certain age. 8 year old kids shouldn’t go through this. I think he is influenced by his father who wanted to change his gender when he was a child.

@Ulax yes, me too but parents say they don’t do this for fame, that it was “her” choice to transform into a girl.

@Roy Absolutely agree with you. I also watched one video where his dad said that he wasn’t feeling comfortable in his body from the young age but was ashamed to be honest with parents because his parents were conservatives. It’s terrible that he tries to make his dream come true through his child.