kavaris

(cont.) And it frustrating, cause we already went through what things and nothing was, only to realize now, theres really alot more ways that could be framed, details which stem on this question as well, and its quite frustrating.

What is a material thing? As it goes from a concept, a mental image, to a real, tangible thing, what then makes something physical? Like, when you have baby snakes born from little eggs, and at one time they were just baby sperm, prior to which they were baby protein or whatever else, what makes something physical as it goes from the conceptual forms to these physical ones we call the material world? Like how do you draw a line in the sand, in order to talk about form and whether its just an idea, or a physical one? Iask because, i wanted to redefine / redescribe ideas around a thing, as well as nothing, only to realize that it really stands on the fact that theres stuff that we refer to as \*mental and physical, and that is whats redefining our ability to talk about "things". Like, forget about the psychosis element that you feel, in living out a kind of felt~psyche, what even is the psyche, and what then nakes it a physical thing in material world? In a conceptual world, what makes something an idea? Like is there a clear line that makes those two things distinct? I ask for myself, not knowing what the answr is

Speaking of dreams, i just thought i should mention last nights, cause i found it to be impressionable (along w/ 3-4 other dreams that happened in sequence together) JC and his associate (John, or whoever was an adult male follower) were in my dream, but as regular people, two peas in a pod — Desert people, and not like, blown-way-outya-proportion people. And they were on a journey for, what i assume were hermetica, or they are just mystical teachings you might say, maybe what they did in the bible, which was sortve make it out to be "What JCs teachings WOULD have been, had he did <X>" kindve thing. So that was the first dream, just sortve two homies stepping on piss clams, rubbing sand on each other, talking to people as regular human beings, one on one, mostly traveling for these stories. No hanging involved. Then, we get to this second impressionable dream, which, when i woke i said, "Ah, this will be easy to remember", And now i forget, but it had something w/ language in it. I think. They were both total perspective flips, like... iuno, originally i woke up ~ forgetting the first dream, the JC thing, and only remembering the second. But now i forget the second and only remember JC's. P.s. it doesnt discredit history, its just a perspective switch, e.g. all of this can make sense, Galatians 2:7-9, Paul describes an agreed division of missionary focus, hes entrusted to teach the gospel to the Gentiles, and Peter is entrusted to teach the Jews, all accurate towards the idea — that free reign of influence that Jewish culture had, i.e. the names John, James, Peter... etc., Paul and Peter are retarded popular names, as both last names and first names, different versions. And everyone knows atleast 120 people w/ the name John, or it use to be like "meet my son John-John, and his fathers father John John the John from Jones and Johnville,..."

Did you know, when you dream, that dream isnt just like, unconscious mind jargon, like... Forget about how it compares to, "to be", "to become" and to exist for a moment, as just getting the pragmatics of "dreampt exp.," i think is gonna be important, because if you dont really understand "why", then it can become like, "Oh, Dreams are just the ability to shut down this part of your brain, so you dont experience this other, etc..." (insert-two-branches-of-interest, as i chose to explore a different path below, instead of the dreampt voice one...) In my experience, a significant part of dreaming is the body. Like, sure its a moment to forget concerns concerning the physical body, but its also an experience thats based on the physical bodies experience, which is actively being tested/stressed... To explain it in more detail, its that mystical layer that you veil over the mind, not mentioning to yourself the fact that you still have a body underneath, And what you dont realize is, the physical body sortve comes with you, no matter what, like its part of the cycle of experiencing, embedded in the mind, not as like "this is what i look like" per say, but the felt experience of the body is in there, to a significant degree. I would say, most dreams are actually a "dreampt experience of the spiritual body", and your assumed intellect and mind components are the parts you leave behind, Like the intellect is only needed, in as much as it can realize the problem. Like, i figured out, no matter what you do, you can never get a fixed-position in laying, in sleep that doesnt suck for your back / body. But then i fell asleep on the rim of my most comfortable chair (my butt and lumbar touching the rim, not my back, directly) and slowly slid down the rim throughout the night, never stressing any-on- part of my lumbar, back, etc., and at each interval of that felt-bodily experience (in dream) the dream received a moment, a chance to not suck. And it indeed did not suck ~ It was pretty good, excellent at each interval. Of course, nightmares are those that trap theirselves deep in the subconscious, so you would have to have many more nights of good dreams, to change the cycle of the dreaming. I mean, cycles, in general are embedded pretty deep, so its nice to be relieved of the duty of having to try your experience w/ all of those cycles. Like, you cant ever stop existing per say, but you do get a break if you give yourself a good mental and physical break, And that break can come in the form of a dream, so long as youve diagnosed some bodily issues, or any mental issues you yourself have like... But anyway... In that way, its not exactly straightforward to explain, as everyones existing in different moments w/ different dilemmas to solve. Not everyone has a comfy chair. But its an idea yous can apply, And start to think on more. P.s. I forgot i was gonna include something about the dreampt voice of your dreaming and the subconscious, but i totally forgot. Next time maybe.

Heres another weird one @30:00 (see video at the end) or somewhere around there, the idea of being dead, And being brought back to life, thats like a thing w/ maybe like an accident you got in, And like maybe you are at the hospital, and you come to, while in a hospital... but maybe you were inside of either a light, or it was just darkness... totally unconscious. But thats like, something very different, because you can just exist as your dream body, in that place of light or dark, assuming theres a space thats carved out in there, like assuming you arent leaving your body behind all the time, like, spiritually, its always w/ you, so maybe its like, just dont leave things that are necessary behind maybe? i dont know, its not like theres a way to measure it, or try to record or weigh it or anything, while in a dream. its just there. Iuno wat happens to your body on dmt either, but in my experience, the body, mostly, is like, prior to identity and mind and everything else, like its priority mail, even in abstract dreams of floating around its there, and watever happens in reality is rotated elsewhere, til you return. The light is the scary part, and like i said, i cant confirm wat that light is, as its more symbolic and dissolving, and has nothing to do w/ ancestors. Like its a Soul in itself or something, pure dissolve maybe, but if you get wrapped up in it, your getting cut up in a way, like its not gonna be very loving and caring if you are in between dark and light, And iuno, like, if you become a new person, in a new reality, then you just bypassed this light, so its not like you will have even seen it, like im saying, theres alot of little details that we dont understand, like alot of little details, And most ppl describe "dream experiences", but its not wat im tlking bout. im talkin bout a total flip-around of whats like, flipping the mainstream idea and possibility space around, and the concept of your body, and how its more like a traveler that doesnt end or begin

Oh no prob, ya wen i watch ur vid, it reminds me how important it is, its like, we been missing out o that little puzzle piece, or atleast i have, definitely.

Just to break a little into the God paradigms, The idea of God is also the assumption that God cannot be undone, like... unless your vers of God is really a hologram that has no authority over his hologram... Because..Think about it... There arent things that are totally agnostic and free from the turmoil of Earth, unless you imagine it that way, like, if you can imagine form, than that form can also be ignored, which means it was never God to begin with, otherwise God is the hologram with no dominion over this hologram. Like holograms have an unfortunate quality, that they dont represent theirselves in a direct way anyway, so the hologram is a reflection of what? Of a hologram? Of the God of hologram(s)? Why does god need a hologram? These are the kinds of questions to start to ask yourself.

dang it, i overwrote everything, fk it, doesnt matter, lol im not tryina remember it all again

@Joseph Maynor Oh btw, i thought of something you might find interesting. It might tickle your fancy, tho i wanna save it for tomorrow, after one of my appts... because its gettin a bit late noow to start throwing out all these ideas all of a sudden. Better to think of, tomorrow, a fresh day.

^Try to crack that egg.

One argument for the abstract is however, that it can live within an absolute sensual reality, and sortve push the envelope, without it having to fold, without requiring structural resurrection , or reinsertion into a story... In a storytime story or (like right now, an online story) suddenly im not even on topic anyway, because *cough cough* im not on topic, and even if i was, it still may not be received or considered AS a story (like, ppl just may not care, unfortunately, but theres a larger chance of them tuning in / and not tuning out) Thats the argument against story, and obviously, to go toooo far in the other direction, no one really can understand it, even if they tried, cause now it would be hyper personalized language with no allegiance to anything in that initial stanza or grouping, like it can fly the coup at any moment, and leave the reader on a cliff hanger thats unpredictable (im talking, in the MOST extreme spectrums of an abstract writing of course, which i would not be doing) A story however, in the very least, can save itself from sudden termination of that initial stanza, Like it can be saved from its own psychedelic adventure.... Thats sortve the pros and cons.

@kavaris @Yimla I messed up, cause i said there was two options, 1) A storytime story versus 2) Abstract descr., language, but theres three atleast, (1) Story, (2) A story thats told online (whatever that turns into, Ya kno), (3) Abstract descr., language thing. And a hint of that last choice lives inside of all of them, however, the third represents a more distilled version of abstract, like more tablespoons of that ingredient... Stories however are straightforward. You know its a story because its got a protagonist, its got a *setting... Its got elves, and witches, and predicaments, dialogue or narration, etc, etc, etc. You know its a story because its got language that sounds like it. The opposite to that is the third option, which isnt a story, or its unclear what it is, cause its fluid, like a potion, and its allegiance doesnt rest on any of those ingredients. Its a large tablespoon of abstract, musical whimsy, without any predicament or particular rhyme or reason... Its not a poem, its not anything. The downside is that it can tuen into mumbling~whateverness.

@Iadelle To manifest is to counter "reality, beyond", like, it points to Being, Identity — but the person who asks about it, is looking at it from a materialists paradigm. It doesnt matter if you think you know what the non-material is, its a revealing of your level w/ that partocular idea, and of course, later youll realize it was silly, assuming you do realize. Like, manifestation is not in a book... Like The Secret (the book), its not like a recipe that the material world has any clue of, and its not located in a material web, its got experiential, hierarchical steps to qualifying, As qualification begins from the introspection amd deconstruction of YOURSELF, and what it means in context. How can one qualify it through the material web of 'Look, my finger doesnt go through the wall, Look i didnt find any treasure.... Those are defeated declarations, webs youve resurfaced to let dominate, let answer your ques., whilst stilled wrapped in the web you made, even while going through your authentic experiences that wouldve lead you to that. Psychedelics are the key, but theres a turning of that key required, a door you gotta walk through. You know, its not like ... Oh n/m it for now... that should give u enough to go on, for now.

Imagine we're in the gobberish / gibberish circumstances, of which we are simultaneously riding with and driving that thing that we are apart of~experiencing, which could be the case. It could be just one perspective away... take a break from it (or not, and instead, indulge it... however...) See that its a driven thing, atleast, and choose to take a break... Maybe wat you want is to drive the gibberish machine and fix your life, due to its descension into the aforementioned circumstances we find ourselves, then start defining what it is or, what this is (what even is that...?) Demonstrative or indefinite pronouns?, but what bout just the regular forms of "him, her, they, them..."... "that thing, this thing", like, if you are trying to nail it to the bulletinboard... Like if you have the technical name, now youd ask, what is it Actually?, What are you actually, And if thats not enough, what is anything, and how does it all happen? Like, when you think about the Amazon rainforest, and you see a frog jumping, or a big bug crawling, why dont you feel like youve also stumbled on a diamond (or something that makes you excited) or vice versa, why does finding treasure not feel like finding a frog in the Amazon rainforest? Like, thats another vers., of mind, and theres prolly many, the point is that you can start using things to exceed your expectations and anticipation around "that drab thing that exists in the future", As its only through the circumstances, the circumscript that we are to read from, that drab thing arise. Perspectives you imagine, may also be perspectives that you seek, but through time and space, we arent imagining or believing anything specific, explicitly, if its already there, literally — Like, if beliefs are already imagined, then its already literally there, i.e., the form of chairness is already there if its a chair. So why is the frog, or the form of frog in our mind, in our future, any different from the treasure that we want, in the future, referring to these thoughts we have, that exist temporarily or indefinitely ~n time or space, comparing em to other thoughts, or thoughts that exist literally? The form underneath is a felt-ness, and that sensuous reality is something we want to puncture, and things outside seem to do that, where etymological feeling space is met with the greater senses. Thats something to think about. Its called 'that truth that you find, that crazy, crazy reality that you find, which could be found or experienced anywhere, ~ its just a little something i was riffing on

I feel like, these people need Josephs new thing, that "creation from nothing" thing that he made (many people need it), that profession or that spark, such that "the world blowing" can become "the world blowing up inside of you", that inner fire, cause all thats missing here, when the world blows, or like when god is like a devious controller, is to reinsert that idea as a form of energy, as an awakening, as an enlightened moment that you hadnt had before. im describing enlightenment in an energetic sense, but youll really feel that way. Its like this "surprise", even if youve already had it... Someone described it as "mind" i think, and mind can meqn many things, like this moment can be synonymous with mind, if you let it, if you have that idea in you, and you know how to complete it. Its just ideas and words, but the person(s) has to have the experience, and then, the ability to finish whats left. Like it leaves you w/ a certain step, that which allows you to "finish / complete".

Had i thought of it originally, id actually be working on a whole thing, based on just that, or something just like it, cause wen you find somethin like that, ya gotta build a whole thing round it, like those are some rare things that come together... like it would then be working out also the rhythm between words and stuff like that, like the more abstract mechanics no one thinks of, but that add to it when spoken out loud (probably. i actually never really thought about it myself)

"Prince of the Word, you built so good a castle out of sound and name— but what walked through it, phantom-hued, ... said it was 'creation from nothing.

@Joseph Maynor In a hundred years time, i might return, and be like "Ay... Yous are always creating from nothing... its still ever present, evermore stuck in my head and relevant, such that i cannot resolve the way it has encapsulated everything", right, like it could be that much of just an impression that i feel, But i def feel like, its the premise of something else, that which others can experience, whatever it may be too. I think i like it so much especially cause i always think about 'that almost unsolvable riddle / game... And how that ability to try to solve an unsolvable dilemma has always been at the forefront of my mind, but im not sure its ever been combined to be the idea of creation from nothing, in my head. Its probably the context too, As its not like "oh, we all just invent from scratch", it felt more like, the emergence of creation, and in the context where creativity is the topic, and we are sortve falling into the idea of creativity. But it also makessense, just creating from scratch too. Its like a catch22 that works everytime, favorably, lol.

Thats a great term for what you said, 'aesthetics, nd how it all branches off from that. Thats a gr8 way to put it. p.s. theres def somethin to "Yous are always creating from nothing", like i see a spiritual eagle / sparkle / glimmer in there, granted, i could be off but i feel like that is something interesting in there, to me atleast, it feels like its the premise for something.

Hey man, im watching your video, As what i just realized is, for some of the more direct and strict minded individuals, who possibly came from a strict, hierarchical home and family, with rules and scripts to keep them in line, to ensure they are perfect most of the rime, possibly coming from a family in government or like government programmers, They would greatly benefit from this, of which falls under the more deconstructive, creative path, where you may have broad ideas of what you want to do, but in say, the case w/ music, You dont plan what to write (like you would when planning every step in comp. programming), you're, instead, jamming it out. Or, when writing or drawing, such as in many, if not all of the experimental works i do, you dont have it planned at all, As it all comes from "in the moment", from a heart felt realm, no less. Anyway, i jus started watching it, so let me actually finish it before i start going off on a wild tangent, ha.

@everyone, question, for everyone, Im taken a vers of the isolation sentiment via a brief hiatus as im seein quite a lot of possible ways to proceed — Like, maybe yous can help me decide this question here, How important... Or maybe i should phrase it as... 'rate the importance here, generally speaking, like are the "stories we tell" important / relevant? Because, we all enjoy stories, we find them pleasurable, regardless of its format. We live our stories each day. We also dream up, and think up our stories, And so, my question is, just how important our "explicit stories" over subliminal, sortve, less directed, less poignantly expressed stories? Like, Are yous tired of generating one story after another in the mind-f*#! of reality, or is it that, these Stories are PRIMARY, regardless, seeing as, they help shape the little details, etc , Like do yous feel like, the active philosophy/pathfinding stories are the greatest shaper in the tales to come subconsciously (like a song stuck in your head), or is it more of the drama, the great tricksters and dreamers that are shaping "what matters most"? They both are interesting choices, but its a real question, because, assuming everyone is tryina write a story, does that make stories sortve dulled in some way, in the holistic sense of looking down and choosing a direction? Or does it just mean, those good stories ARE really good, and its not about what reality is doing, its about how YOU feel and how to express what it is you have to say? Cause in my case, i feel like i could say what it is i want to say, in either direction, which is why i ask... So, anyway. Whatdyas think? Thoughts? p.s. i dont know if i added a downside to the second option, which is that, in the realm of a lesser stressed, or lesser made "storytime kindve story", or like think of it as "experimen tal descriptive language", it limits what you can say — thus what you "feel" through that reciprocal process is also a lesser mainstream direction, that may be unfamiliar to yourself and those who read, like it may just be ramblings.

On the original premise - ego - Ego... Iuno... Ego... Im looking for singular words, to just say "This ones interesting" (e.g. "ego"), And for the sake of demonstration, *ego mightve been that singular word that we all melt into, to see what it feels like... Then again, that sounds nice, but iuno wtf i just said... Like when i invent things... I dont always know what it means... for awhile... Cause these things are like... Like i cant tell if its like the most annoying thing in the world, or if its the waterfall that keeps on giving, Like, i only know, for myself, i have this whole idea of, for example, "ego".... ego... I dont wanna taint the ego yous are all talking about, which is that communion around ego, and its meaning. Im looking for songular topics.

Im def seeing something new, on the topic of... watchamakalit... I mean, im not calling it god or God in my own ... way... because, its only a single component of an Absolute... This one, im still researching in my head, not about answering "am i 100% god", but to answer... or to understand this \*new thing, that i believe is a kindve "non-judgemental placement in [...]". I just dont feel like ive found a way to use the word God. Maybe yous will teach me, but i also kindve doubt it. Crucify me over this, but i can only say what i know in the moment. If i dont know it, then i might not understand it yet (Like, i dont know what the word God means, is what i mean) If i Do know it, ill lay it out as plainly as possible, as imaginable, in the foreseeable future of what can be imagined. For now, im tryina work this thing out (its not about god though, however, Leo, i believe once said God is infinitely intelligent, so in that way, yes, then it is about god in that way) We can connect things in alot of ways, to make it work. Likewise, we can receive things in a lot of ways, to make it make sense.

Theres two ideas idling in my ear, or jus, two words i could see happening very close together here, Maybe... And one is a phrase, like "a sense of enlightenment, that we gift ourselves", then the other is, the closest equivalent source of "thoughts arising", And that, to be thinking, is to be actively interpreting, engaging in a thing we "misunderstand", and so, it makes it sortve difficult to found an understanding, however, functionally, we dont care about understanding. We dont care about distilling this thing into some impossible place, cause that sense of enlightenment marries that sense of interpreting, and they are irreversibly linked at that point, So all thats left is founding the hierarchy, which is synonymous w/ Consciousness or the conscious truth, and that is, 'that which we are to appreciate in the pursuit of ultimate realization (a continued, conscious truth) Like, to die is to be in the pursuit of the unconscious truth (this is an Absolute description), wherein its Mind for mending, mind for minding, but not full blown realization, for that lies counter to death. Like death isnt also 'the realization of living, like, you dont have any option to challenge "life" as "not-life", like... Its embedded in the proposed rules you're actively making. But anyway, the function — It can be whatever yous want / Do you want a unicorn? Then ground the very thing inbetween, and let it all be 'a unicorn. I mean, yous are "grounding the very thing", its reflective. People use to say that thing like "Ooooh, i know a cool word — Mirror!" (*disappears, exits the chatroom*) Theyd say that word they thought meant something, then they wouldnt explain theirselves, and it would all fall upon everyone else, like it even applied to anything in that moment. Thats the sortve bastard child version of what ive said, but without all the suckass disconnected circumstances around it, where its not even applying, and its like this dark knight / batman flying in like "I am Batman"... And then, our response, "O Good... why are you Batman... or?... what" Like weve entered into the adult realm, And we are either finding everything to be the childs play drawing of reality in comparison, or we are living it, astounded by the adult level thought happening, which doesnt necessarily mean its perfect, its just like, trying to poke at the infinite boundary, like theres quite alot of boundary it covers. And at any moment, we can dream the dream that challenges it all, by recircling backwards, entering into a whole new world. That unconscious thing becoming conscious, towards Consciousness, Again. Its built into the thing. Its annoying.

(cont., ii., caution, as its a cautionary tale, experiental warning ahead... im not saying i would do any of this, its just a thought experiment) i would probably need to try a deleriant drug to confirm that the hallucinations even slightly resemble this pattern as well, This like forgetting, remembering, forgetting, and seeing and believing things arent there, or believing what the truth is, as its manifesting -thing, As a part of me is like, sure, all the wild scenes, Thats whats making it funny, but i also want it to represent... like... some semblance of a true story, like i couldnt make it on just the sole lsd and shroom experiences in my past, in the same way someone making a video game is looking for the experience of that process, not necessarily married to all of the amazing aspects that a game can have in it... if that makes sense.. Like the journey is more important to me than the product, to have the product possess within it, somewhere, atleast, some notion or semblance of a connection back to the journey it took to make it. Thats like, the pinnacle of thought for me, otherwise its not the right move, for me. Anyone who does posses the actual experience already can happily take the idea and run w/ it.