kavaris

I see it like a painting yous are painting in the comments. As it transcended into more of an exploratory image based format via words. The feeling yesterday went abstract (in my min... which is how it cut through). However, there was more of like a uh... watchamakalitz like a group effort... Not just cause everyones on a diff pathz but specifically, from my perspective, its like, i experienced parts of @Inliytened1@Leo Gura's ideas, as a baseline for what was to be a perforation / And granted, later @Joseph Maynor @myself Added somethingz which then was like a diff topic i felt (or something intimately connected im not sure) but anyway thats how i mapped it out. I say that, to allude to the sense making being very much complicated, but simple from a felt location as well. p.s. maybe i should add something bout yesterday, how i wasnt focused on the words nor their meaning... However, i was like, influenced, or gifted something, i just cant actually locate what that was exactly..

I guess... well.... I guess its like... if you can... Like, if its something you can do, for you, effectively speaking, to not get too hung up on the separate or relative/relevant senses of like.... like for example, if i was like "Everyone has there own path that they resonate w/ or that they feel they're on or watever", The part you dont wanna get hung up on is the "everyone" part, right? Like, if thats what you get out of it, you would always contend w/ the idea that "everyone" is doing <x> That same sorta sense of like, colliding w/ many paradoxical things now, its an unavoidable, unmistakable thing, when you are experiencing it. But you can atleast realize it in the moment, and then try to not do it?... I felt like there was two diff things i was juggling, but thats atleast one single idea, which also sounds like the stupdest of the things, but its an idea you could sit w/

@Joseph Maynor@Inliytened1 Wai. Back up. Lastnite somethin interesting happened.. Something cut to the core, but now we are going backwards w/ opinions, how it feels to chew watchamakalit bubblegum. I cnt find the words for it, Like... Hold that thought, and roll it forward/back, and rub it around again. There was a very core idea (jog the right idea forward basically, as we might be able to find it as a shared form)

Thx. And, No no. i hear ya, i me, i appreciate that truly. Its like... Iuno. I dont wanna spoil anything, like... Im the hidden thing that i myself cant reveal, like... Iuno.

You know, lookin' back in my notebooks from amany years ago (though, its not like i had that many notebooks that have withstood the test of time...) ... but its like, one of them has this series of pages, each beginning "...and the subsequent paradox..." As i could not escape the incessant realization of the big ole bogging down of this paradox thing (whatever may have been on my mind at the time) and, as its pertaining to the fundamental ways i was processing... engaging w/ internal and external, thoughts, feelings, emotions, et caetera, et caetera... And because of that, that notebook is really afflictive in nature, torturous to read and get through. Like. Even when it seems to resolve towards the end.. it just feels like, even beginning every thought with "Paradox" feels like theres a glitch. Regardless of the subject matter, that philosophical side of life is always a kind of liquid ink available, to which i try to enjoy & dipinto, messing around with the painting of such things that i am to perceive or realize. Its like "Can i write without the word paradox coming up every page, ruining the work?" Like, it ruined that notebook of mine (or atleast, i feel it did, based on what i think the subject matter was to have been). Like its not that the paradox invoking is a bad thing necessarily, per say, but the repetitive reminder of it is prolly bad, to me, and towards what im trying to do. It ceases to mean what it means when its another fledgling spinner ~ spinning out of control; Another cascade of emotion that you've found yourself stuck in... Alas, this is sortve why i even would write in the first place, and yet not many people openly are burdened by it, i dont think? Or maybe not this one specifically. So in trying to write about the relative self, that is a constant reminder that im always making note of, and then regretting that i even acknowledged it.

Nice man. Sounds like ya got alot of love and enthusiasm for what you are doing.

Exactly. Id say dont try it, as youd be imaginging *what measuring is* and then predicating the nature of everything on the ability to measure and receive results. Like, its a world of reimagining is all, and thats the question id go to first for practicality, like "what is it then to imagine" typeve things. Or just "What is imagination", not that its the best place to jump off from, but its the best least best least or whatever.

The relative is the total self. Thats why the paradox is possible, thats why everything feels this way of like, a rise in some more complex. We are communicating, tlkin, tryina conjure up wtf this is, and we are mistaking complexity of nature w/ The Self (Period... or wat weve imagined it to be....) Alas, that is what gives it a sense of like "Why is life like this, why am i the thing looking out at the thing", Like... That is itself *what it is*. Its a freaky self thing. The fact that we interact w/ things comes w/ perception as the main thing, and not "a primary self, a secondary nature, etc, etc" Like its all just Self, period. The complexity happens within the self. Nature is just what Complexity w/ a /C/ happens to be lookin like right now.

I had a friend who was real into Mac, and he liked it at a time where there really wasnt a strict division yet, like i mean, it was still the computer revolution, but it wasnt like this thing where you got trapped inside of Macs ecosystem. Like you could plug the ipod into windows, or do non apple things inside of Mac -And maybe its still like that, but theyve turned it into more of a *classhood* or something, Like ... Iuno its weird cause alot of those companies collaborated together too, beyond the theftyish moves on Windows part... but really, how much diff could they have made some of those apps... We all long for the aesthetic of like 2001/2008 apps or whatever it was... Like Apple really wants it to be like *... if you want a girlfriend, she will think your weird if you dont use macs* -typeve thing, when really, before the iphone, that idea was predicated on the fact that girls already had iphones, but they didnt yet... So they were rushing into a fantasy of the world that wasnt even true. lol... kinda funny when you think of it like that. i mean it was trying really hard to be the way it is now, but all of the games nd stuff are on Windows, and that itself was the catch. I mean, computers in general are going through a rough time imo anyway... Like i just wanna do simple things, but its very expensive still. Like, watchamakalit... the RISCV thing, iuno if theyve gotten them projects anywhere but that was suppose to hold some promise for simpletons like myself. i mean, i really liked some of these more descrete companies when it comes to the phones... but i digress, as now we are mixing together phones and computers. They are two diff worlds i feel. P.s. Did anyone else see Casey muratori put out a video on skeletal/animation? i mention it as i seen the substack post flash by in my email, but i ignored it as im not doing any heavy duty research right now, but its def something that programmers should investigate, alongside text and such and managing a window (or figuring out how to do it in a way where you can pull up transient windows and move em around, tho iuno how many apps on linux focus on that typeve behavior, so its sumthin to think about), since ya need that stuff too. I mean, ive already contended w/ the terminal and shell behavior. unfortunately its a long story, lol. But i know alot about terminals on linux (its more of a philosophical ques., than it is a technical question) but like... iuno. its weird. Feel free to pm if yous want to know bout it too.

So yous might not know about this, but theres a Street Fighter 2026 out there, which, youd assume its modeled on the 90s Street Fighter and those typeve advents of the fighting game genre, etc., but like, its actually a little different, and they took more influence from watchamakalit, Whats that goofy thing on youtube, Kung Fury that tries absorbing a bunch of things it thinks were 80s motifs, but i jus felt like it was like new age synthwave? That thing is in it. But theres other elements too, which is why movies are so great, cause you add /have more than the original premise offers, in regards to music, the visuals, the costumes, the actors, etc, and im inly like 30mins into the movie, but its showing alot of promise. Like ive hated most movies ive seen in the last 10 years or so, but this is pretty cool. it says the director is "Kitao Sakurai" so thats someone we gotta look into, assuming yous end up liking the movie too. If any of yous seen it, let me know. And also, any movies you saw recently that were unexpectedly good, you can bring those up to, though i find its all those lesser known movies, like things you really gotta get lucky to find; Atleast thats how ive felt. Obviously it dont gotta be 2026- i accidentally put that in the title.

@Joseph Maynor Retrospectively, thats prolly a better option for anyone whos got stuff on windows that they are married to, as i was more like "i actually wanna see wat happens without windows", granted now its been awhile nd i dont remember how it began. Now its like its become like, "oh, n/m, it was not a big deal", but i just dress it up like some sortve like infatuation-w/-a-linux things going on, but i just do artsy fartsy, and then i poop out things that look like the truest fitting quotes from the art work, and then... i sortve hope its something relevant to yous ~ in the moment. i think thats why it works tho, as you have alot of non-yogi / gurus interacting w/ ya guys, and so you get alot of contrast that would be missing in a room full of like, super well-minded yogi people, atleast thats how i feel... iuno... Do you feel like its better when theres lots of different people... or would a room of yogis be able to benefit from the fact they are all very much like equal/just intonated w/ each other?

My aunt has that. Shes told me shes got dual setup w/ windows and linux too. i told her, 'wow, iuno how to evwn do that. As shes like 70-sunthin, but she was a computer person her whole life working w/ comps., years ago.

Hey. thx. i appreciate that. i like your sig too. Oh, ive never tried kde on ubuntu, assuming now thats wat kubuntu is, im very much unknowledgable nd out of the loop on distros and kde... Ive got no problem w/ apt either. I really only do very simple straightforward things now, and i dont even remember a time when i didnt use linux. I have a very small amount of packages (450, i think), its like.... image magick... font forge... watchamakalit window manager... Everything else is like, kilabyte file loaded lol. very simple... oh and firefox of course.

I was into programming. I might still be, its just sorta now... i mean... iuno, its hard to explain... its true. i am periodically programming, but i find i get more out of programming when i solve the problems in my head, in a sortve meta language vers., of whatever it was i was staring at..... though i do ask myself, "Am i that committed?... Do i need to solve the... Iuno... Its become just sorta... iuno.. iuno... its in competition w/ several front runners that dont have anything to do w/ the computer world. If i had a girlfriend, i might be normal and reluctant to be as unusual as i am, but im just lost in an art world. i cant be sittin behind the computer tryina act like im a normal person ~ pressin' buttons like "press, press, press, press"on, like that whole routine is in hot conflict w/ who i am, and the painting that im going for right now.

Ques., Is it realy hot right now? like if anyone can check outside and see wat it feels like outside, cause it feels like its 99 degrees atm nd im kinda freaked out like...

i just updated my arch machine, a few mins ago. I say that as hey, my last pacman Syu was on like, january 2025 or something, so well over a year later im updating.... ive not been very attuned to doing useful things on the computer, but today i just figured its been long long. I mean, i use tower computers every day, as i dont really enjoy phones, tablets & laptops, so much as its necessary to have a phone and laptop (which i very seldom use... not to mention i couldnt get sound to work on laptopt, as i think the software / hardware is well old, or i just havent committed enough time to it) At one point, i hadnt updated in 4+ years... but, lol, hey... ... updating is a big deal on linux, for me atleast. p.s. im still a big fan of korn- mksh shell, and bash development, granted ive not kept up to date with either... im suppose to follow korn very close but im just letting it go right now, as its not the front runner priority atm.

... To finish that thought, Then, you have the unlimited, and such is the paradox (to come).

Its alot of questions, id imagine (questions to come). Once ya ask, then ya might have a basket of questions that beg answering from many directions, which is usually how it works. Or it can also go 'totally off the rails, full tilt-like. Such are them unfortunate consequences, sometimes, but such is life. We ride the waves w/ the wolves and all the things ~ upon focusing in on it. And when we're not... It just doesnt exist, existence as something that can be limited, sectioned-off...

(Cont.) Yas cant detatch enlightenment from everything else, nor any other thoughts and experiences, like it matters what happens in the moment. When we try referring to things in a very dumbed down way, we are relying on alot of meta to be responsible. Like we want all of the actualization triggers to be responsible for the thing we hold within, but you dont even have enlightenment without all of those thoughts, exp., emotions, etc., so it *feels* like its a time felt exp., its just that the words you think had a meaning are gonna change, in the face of an experience where yous are to become enlightened, such that things that once looked like materiality and time arent gonna be materiality and time. The actualization triggers towards that matters and so too do the storyline and the builtup experience matters. It might even matter more you could say, and im saying it now.

Did yas figure out the flip side yet. The flip side is like, nothing is possible without having that singular realm of sensibility fixed, such that you can feel things, like... How is comedy possible for instance, without having yourself together? How is love and expression possible without having yourself together? Hows anything possible? If you dont have yourself together ~ That is, if you dont have some equilibrium status w/ regards to thoughts, feelings and emotions, then you fall into cascades, cascades, cascades of experiences, in such a way that the cascading is itself what becomes most evident. And then you must reprioritize, cause its now like... Like its arrived, such that it eats at your attention, in multiple ways, beyond just yourself, such that the patterns underneath have been realized as something lackedaisily facing the wrong direct., plus, theres just alot of bad sides to it too, that is being lost in the woods like that. Without equilibrium of those things yous are actively considering, you just have wildness and cascading in the wrong direction. People think they can handle it til they admit its not for them. Thats what psychedelics are often about, atleast for some. Its like initiation into the wild side of things, where you are challenging yourself w/ a quick succession of the high winded questions, lost in a forest, and you have to catch them, all the thoughts, otherwise you land on just one, like weve arrived in this very moment. Enlightenment is just a word we use to express a thing thats true, or most true. Why? Because yous are treating enlightenme t like its an algorithm, ora construct around ignorance.

(Cont.) YEO i asked my mom, and she was like "No shes not the same person", so i was like "Then whos the one that killed her kids"? And she says "Oh theres been alot of em that've killed their kids now" Lololol. P.s. Oh wait wait, i think i get it. Maybe it was that, Elizabeth holmes made the device that the mothers who killedtheir children had used, and thus the whole thing is like, people keep using the devices and killing their kids, cause why else would there be a movie.

Wait i thought this elizabeth holmes also killed her kids, and made a device for a company, or are those two different people?

Let me know if this is a good or bad idea maybe from 1 to 10... with 10 being the best, 1 being the worst... Suppose i had a way to get all sorts of medicines and chemicals and over the counter drugs (i dont really, but its a fantasy game we're playing / riffing on) And if i was willing to go all around and sell medicines of all kinds to people, how would yous rate that ~ being that im in a somewhat decriminalized city, that ive got multiple options of transportation, and assuming i had multiple connections to these things, would it be a bad idea? I say that as im not tryina conflict with or be attracting others that arent customers, like police or someone whose like a mob boss personality type or something. Like thats why this thought crossed my mind, like, "can i do medicine, without it being connected to bad connotation". I thought id ask yous. I also imagined like, if i had a girlfriend and she was like "that sounds like a bad job" too, though... iuno why it would be a bad job, i think thats just a shadow that the world casts on it ~ And again its hypothetical, its not real, so yas dont have to worry too much.

Alright last update on this, srry, but definitely... definitely... def that rich sortve like, black- choco- soybean flavor is def a component to all of this searchin; i say that as a bought the air-sealed bag of fermented black beans @store, and although theyre like extra-salted, i can see how some sortve choco black or yellow miso bean (non fermented?) could be that missing part ~ As its got an organic'y version of the flavor. Granted that that missing element is like, extra rich, and... iuno how... but its like, "essence of richness" and chasing that perfect richness? Like it transcends umami- into just being like, perfectly enriched richness flavor (im also looking for like, how to get the "essence" out of fruits and these things, but i dont wanna make this too long. i really wanna try that funky natto bean stuff as well. the end)

Before i buy garlic and then get upset i bought it, How much different is garlic once the allicin wears off, that fresh pungency assoc. w/ it, which goes away after some min., or hours once it has been cut? Im looking for something that is like, a spice (not like a spice spice, i mean fresh roots and such) but i think ive been misunderstanding the importance of garlic, in alot of these things im tryina make, rice-related stuff... Im hoping someone out there has exp., using garlic, and knows of its stages-of-ripeness, you might call it, and how it effects flavor. Like, is it radically different? Is it sweet like Onion sweet? Or will i just feel like "Oh its just garlic, but less potent"? P.s. Im done w/ ginger, and i gave it my best shot, but its actually horrible. Like once i taste it, even slightly, its like, ruining my day, alas it is wat is bringing the dish down, Like garlic surely cant be worse. Like if i want brightness, i would just rather add battery acid, Like thats how much its gotten on my nerves, like... Even lemon, although i dont like to add it to the dish, it smells knda good when you clean w/ fresh lemon, where as ginger is like guava, in the sense that its like a fake version of a real fruit.