kavaris

Oh... Here, let me see if i can separate it into a form everyone can recognize... First, when i think of "just m3ditating... just relaxing... or trying to just run on instinct" (iuno wat do nothing means per say, alas i tried to give it some notion of wat yous might be thinkin bout, including myself, when thinkin of, like, la-de-da do nothing), i think of a cushion, like you said, its that very comforting, but also dangerous foundation — Like its insurance for the soul... Chicken soup for the soul, sortve thing... Relatively... Personally or emotionally speaking... You dont have to do anything or 'try to do anything. In an absolute sense, you really dont need to do anything. Thats also what survival is, its the ability to balance that harmonic resonance w/ the active stimulation. You dont need to do that... You dont neeed to do Anything. But you technically speaking, need to, in order to continue the routine that says you have to, otherwise, you cant even talk or contemple the absolute, like the paradox is such that, you dont have to do anything absolutely, meaning you can focus on Being for beings sake, and still exist, even in death. But you wont be facing the absolute, youll be somewhere else that is no longer facing the absolute, cause absolution is the relative idea that "One can BE absolute", like its the outward expression of an inward experience, that doesnt end at absolute... Ergo, you dont face towards the absolute, you only ever face towards an idea of the absolute, which itself is that outward perspective that doesnt actually become absolute, Like... We are describing a paradox, but its something like that, Like youd have to understand that intimate connection of life and death, but yeah, its something like that, its a paradox that you have to experience to even know wtf im tlkin about. P.s. Paradoxes are also physical things too, like, a paradox isnt just the conceptual idea of "whatll happen on a large scale", like, reality and paradoxes are intimately wound up w/ the present moment, which is to say that paradoxes have real effects on life... its not just conceptual mumbo-jumbo

Or you know what, i take that back... Renaissance painters proved you could be homosexual and have blatant religious shyt in the soup too, but they reimagined it as Adam and god, not just Adam &eve, or atleast Michaelangelo & Leonardo (both were homosexuals) but they hated eachother, not to mention they were different ages i believe... Leonardo was older, or wait... wait wat, what is that story where leonardo goes out to the court / agora, and michaelangelo shows up pissed off everyone is hovering around him nd watknot? P.s. Claude gave us something to keep in mind, "Worth remembering too: in that era, religious subject matter wasn't really optional — it was simply what the market (Church, confraternities, wealthy families) paid for. So "genuine belief" and "this is the job" weren't mutually exclusive; both men worked within that system regardless of where their private convictions sat"

(part ii) Theres also these sorts of ideas (p.s. wat do you call this subject matter? But, wait til you get to like @12:30 to answer that question for me...) @12:30 "The original pain, the original ache..." Although it sortve disconnects from reality, cause iuno if homosexual relationships are bound by that, Like they have a different paradigm of interests when it comes to relationships, Like iuno if "Adam & Adam" (sounds like a clothing company) would fit in their bag... Like they have a more exotic idea around relations, that doesnt fit into this realm of thinking. So in that way, again, you have something that looks like it shares a similar attitude and mythos, but its two different things... Like if we were very simple people, we could buy that, that we want a relationship because theres some deep mythology behind it, but it doesnt connect to the reality of the whole connection... Iuno... What would you call this subject matter / topic? Like what is it actually tryina talk about, underneath of it, do ya think? Theres several possible ideas/elements.

Q: For Everyone — Would ya'll be interested in seeing how, "believing, knowing, learning, experiencing, understanding..." how those words are connected, yet simultaneously do they represent totally different places or points of meaning? Like is that something yous would be interested in, cause its sortve like, a very long winded thing. And, unless it connects to someone's interests, it may be a waste of time to just like, start unloading all of it out of nowhere, As its a topic that also straddles "belief itself" and this internal world belief of reality / that whenyou dig into, it gives you a new way to start investigating it. It has to be something yous would even want, otherwise its just ~ pissing in the azuli wind or watevs.

(cont.) i mean, im always in some spectrum of a panic attack, and its like, in tryina find harmony in that, is itself the same, or similar, to the investigation of enlightenment or whatever it is, its like its the same things required/needed, so it ends up looking like its part of like, "normal attainment of", even though it looks like im in a war, harmonically speaking, or just a war of thoughts just built up over years of anxiety and experience w/ the same metamorphic things, like this constantly transforming thing that we're tryina remain in balance / harmony w/ /And im, usually, in an unrevealed state of a war that im tryina make harmonic, if that makes sense.

I meant to say, i literally feel like im dying when i wake up, like the change-of-blood thing, like im having a panicattack when i wake up, its too much tied to, *nightmare from minutes ago thing — *body-falling-apart — *feel-like-im-dying — *trauma being re visited through this change-over — *fought to keep myself awake — *find myself in the anxiety-to-calm shift, drastically being shoved together... And then, it eventually balances out, cause its alot of high energy that im tryina just like, Go in the kitchen and eat something, like its energy that can only be redirected, otherwise its like inflammation waiting to happen.

Oh ya, thats interesting. It gets into somethin very deep too, Alas, ive only jus woken from a nap, And my conscious-awakeness is still coming online, so to speak.

And it is hard, difficult, but hey, ppl take psychedelics, in a normal, non-partyin context, and they get this fundamental download that doesnt require anything from a normal thinking perspective, abd that is already the prominent seed, and, its well-beyond anything you can think about practically. And then actualized -i believe could potentially be the accelerated germinator -kindve thing. Basically what im tryina say is... Actualized can be the well-prepared soil and germinator -for an idea that is only a germ-of-a-thing... or... like... it could be buried in someones unconscious! Wherein, its then being placed on a plate to germinate. Like... Actualized... IS... The Cat Matrix.... 😄 basically... i would say so...

Reality and active involvement (historically to today) Thisll sound random, but i wanna say Aristotle, Metaphysics, he has the advantage over his Master, Plato, in that hes not having to ground philosophy, so he only need talk about the absolute, Being, and then a whole lot of hierarchy and context, and that sentiment, that idea of giving the next generation the framework is, i believe, a little of what happens in Christianity and such, because now they can borrow that idea, infuse it into a larger context, create a boundary around it And make it look like its authentically justified - such that Alot if it doesnt have ties to anything else, or if it does it has symbolic / interpretive ties that we practically see no where us... We see an historic Moses, etc., And we do hear bout Greek ideas around people remembering their ancestors like 3 generations back or somethin (i forget wat thats in) everything else is more like, the real, and the metamorphic, from when it existed in myth and magi, and ppl like Proclus, etc, they show us how theres ppl thinkin bout near similar ideas around One/God, and that idea of god basically is the most disruptive to everything, And someone, possibly like several of these desert father jews, push for this thing, And obviously someone gave them a platform to do it freely, to let the ideas flow freely, or they collaborated w/ someone who was into the same ideas, i mean, each generation takes control of the previous, changing that fundamental hierarchy. In that way, Being was erased from history, canceled out just by no longer seeing it in that early fundamental hierarchy, and that philosophical 'One takes on very much a new look and feel that is difficult to untangle. Iuno... Its just been made difficult to untangle... easy to research, difficult to untangle, difficult to keep in balance too, since its about reality / experience, which is in active involvement.

New Movie: A Cat Matrix

We have to rewrite The Matrix a little, like the relationship to tech and the mind has to remain passive, like today, as Ai-out as yous want it, however the tech can still be present and alive, but more like how Neo starts talkin to his computer in the beginnin, As then its like, 'you got this code of Alien talk that happens on a normal prompt, and then, thats the matrix... just chattin... Sayin whatsup... And tryina stay in that realm, for death is akin to one of these dimensions you can fall in, which isnt necessarily easy to do (meaning, the dimension/paradigm...) i mean... death is easy cause everyones pointing to it, like "Youre gonna die, And youre gonna die, And youre gonna die, And youre gonna die"... Like... Its not just people pointing to it, but the layers of conception and imagination are pointing to it, as a very finite, triad, birth, death, life, birth, death life... or you kno wat i mean. I really like rats and cats, as i feel for the cats. They are not good at conceptual thinking however, true.

When the little boy from the Matrix says Not-spoon, he then goes on to fk w/ reality. Wtf, we wanna move spoons too!... But, thats perhaps not just a mind over matter thing, as its like, a matter of matter, for the mind. Like it matters what type of matter you are "talking about" to yourself, Like what type of matter that spoon was, suppose to be, like they all share that 'realm of relatable matter... Its like, determinate matter, where its being pictured in layers of differing ways where its very much "matter"... I mean, a sudden-liquid spoon is kindve not the same matter that we would call matter anyway, so its following a path thats unfamiliar territory, which is quite difficult to relate to. Thats a testament to how much we rely on routines, cause liquid spoons isnt just like... ... it isnt just an idea, like... And, it's not something that happens spontaneously on a daily basis. Like "His spoon went up, spontaneously! It went up in liquid formation!!!" *p.s. maybe i shouldve said "it is of concern..." or "it is relevant to 'what matter, you speak of..." so that way its not getting smushed by English's horrific sciency "matter", as a way to represent concern and physical matter w/ the very same word, a polysemorous word or watever-the-fk

We are now at this, granted, i just wrote it up, so its like 'Hot biscuits atm,

I also had a vision of this twizzler of differing ways to describe this again, like the way to talk about self next to these ideas, and that then changes how you want to speak of experience, cause im not quite sure if theres a totally set, defined way to place those words together ~ like its the boggling, the twizzlering of self as it becomes experience, or something like that... Like its two aspects or something, coming together, to give it the right context, and its hard to place it right now.