Humor me for a second. I wanna tell a story, but i want to start with a kindve initiatory question: "Because when people say "im confused" my first thought is actually "What would you have me say then...?" "
But lets not get lost in that question, because its more of an *ice breaker, like a Gingerbread house for us all to meet at without getting worked up. Not meant to be taken seriously (DONT TAKE IT AS A SERIOUS QUESTION)
Back in the day, i was working at this job (doesnt matter where) and i had had this co-worker, and sure, i had multiple co-worker/relationships like this, relationships where we had started to *bump heads*. And I kept telling him a story about how "theres this guy whos been bothering me... yada yada" .. you know... small talk. b.s. stuff...
And so, my co-worker would listen to me ~ going on and on about my life, and,
because him and i had a falling out, and because we werent exactly on good terms (its complicated/hard to explain) and because we were co workers, it just made things hard... and i chose him to start conversations with, expressing to him how.. how BAD it was going for me... trying to get past the b.s. from the day, during work, and in my life (i expressed it in a way that was... somewhat tolerable, cause the real version sucks!!!)
And like i said, it was a sore area to talk about, and i couldve mentioned many, many subjects that were also on the sore side (there isnt anything NOT sore, put it that way, im just good at speaking to people in person... obviously thats not the case online since no one can understand me)
But i was curious "what he wouldve done" instead, like "what were my options", cause whatever i kept doing was causing more and more trouble for myself ... so much so ~ that this individual, the individual causing me trouble had visited that co-worker in person, and thankfully the coworker was able to get rid of him... easily... not by force. Im not sure what he did, for his spirit just "shoo'd" him away somehow, possibly by accident, possibly luck, possibly skill, who knows... doesnt matter..
That situation helped me learn something. Granted, the major downfall happened after, but like... I mean, im referencing it now, so i learned something about a situation that i could reference.
So bottomline, after all of that, telling him about how, there were issues in my life, especially certain persons, he would end up saying:
"Are you talking about me (metaphorically)?"
Like, in other words, he thought, because him and i werent on good terms, and because we didnt have the right rhythm together, that everything i was saying, everything i was talking to him about ~confiding in him~ was ABOUT HIM. Presumably about the falling out between him and i.
I was like, are you fucking serious. And maybe he meant "is that how you feel about me" typeve thing (meaning, "i get what you been through, but is that ALSO how you feel whilst here?"). But if thats what he meant, he didnt say anything like that. Thats not the point anyway.
The point is, i gave him this elaborate story, interweaving through things that are ~and continue to be~ hard to speak on, and it just flew over his head. Like he didnt understand anything i was telling him. Did he say "i dont understand anything you said", Well... Think about it, its totally different situation when offline compared to online. We were in person, offline.
P.s. On the off chance he did say that, what he wouldve meant was "i can NOT relate to your experience"
The point is, we were co workers, spending many hours together ~ which awarded us too much time to understand each other. And in the end, like days before i left that b.s. (not because of him!), he said "was that all analogy... Do you mean (me) and not (this life long antagonist)?"
He probably thought i left that job because of him... like... He had NO FUCKING CLUE. Like wtf???
Thats what my life is. In the end, even the co worker is like, "i dont get it".
> Well, what is there to get... its like, we are just talking... spitballing; like... nobody knows anything about me, therefore im expressing to you something about me. Do i have to outline the mechanics of this? Like how many details are to be splattered on the wall before its like, you are witnessing the witness whos been through some shit. And we are trying to mentally survive it now, together, otherwise itll be unbearable from here on out.
Like, we started from this standpoint of "My dad use to take me to karate..."
I am telling you what happens in real life, when you arent rolling downhill. Theres no insult there, its just what happened in our conversation today. Uphill from one person, Downhill from the other. Im not even commenting on it, besides the karate part, which is just word for word. the first few words. it didnt mean anything, which is the point though. we're changing the subject. I mean, starting over, "my dad DIDNT take me to karate", THere.
But anyway, that is what im tryina express there. THats it. Feel free to share. Keep in mind, it may feel somewhat unbearable, cause for myself, there isnt any point where im not finding things unbearable.
This is just stress level +4 on the "Already-Stressed-to-Death" level towards infinity case for me. I assume theres gonna be people like that too on here, at some point, people whove been through some shit, and to treat everyone with that benefit of the doubt at first (or im just double checking, cause i definitely dont want to insult people like myself, like older people i mean... if its a young soul, i mean... sometimes you cant help but correct them... it just happens... i mean...).
I always preface with ".. gonna be a stressful situation" if its gonna be a stressful situation.
