kavaris

Im def seeing something new, on the topic of... watchamakalit... I mean, im not calling it god or God in my own ... way... because, its only a single component of an Absolute... This one, im still researching in my head, not about answering "am i 100% god", but to answer... or to understand this \*new thing, that i believe is a kindve "non-judgemental placement in [...]". I just dont feel like ive found a way to use the word God. Maybe yous will teach me, but i also kindve doubt it. Crucify me over this, but i can only say what i know in the moment. If i dont know it, then i might not understand it yet (Like, i dont know what the word God means, is what i mean) If i Do know it, ill lay it out as plainly as possible, as imaginable, in the foreseeable future of what can be imagined. For now, im tryina work this thing out (its not about god though, however, Leo, i believe once said God is infinitely intelligent, so in that way, yes, then it is about god in that way) We can connect things in alot of ways, to make it work. Likewise, we can receive things in a lot of ways, to make it make sense.

Theres two ideas idling in my ear, or jus, two words i could see happening very close together here, Maybe... And one is a phrase, like "a sense of enlightenment, that we gift ourselves", then the other is, the closest equivalent source of "thoughts arising", And that, to be thinking, is to be actively interpreting, engaging in a thing we "misunderstand", and so, it makes it sortve difficult to found an understanding, however, functionally, we dont care about understanding. We dont care about distilling this thing into some impossible place, cause that sense of enlightenment marries that sense of interpreting, and they are irreversibly linked at that point, So all thats left is founding the hierarchy, which is synonymous w/ Consciousness or the conscious truth, and that is, 'that which we are to appreciate in the pursuit of ultimate realization (a continued, conscious truth) Like, to die is to be in the pursuit of the unconscious truth (this is an Absolute description), wherein its Mind for mending, mind for minding, but not full blown realization, for that lies counter to death. Like death isnt also 'the realization of living, like, you dont have any option to challenge "life" as "not-life", like... Its embedded in the proposed rules you're actively making. But anyway, the function — It can be whatever yous want / Do you want a unicorn? Then ground the very thing inbetween, and let it all be 'a unicorn. I mean, yous are "grounding the very thing", its reflective. People use to say that thing like "Ooooh, i know a cool word — Mirror!" (*disappears, exits the chatroom*) Theyd say that word they thought meant something, then they wouldnt explain theirselves, and it would all fall upon everyone else, like it even applied to anything in that moment. Thats the sortve bastard child version of what ive said, but without all the suckass disconnected circumstances around it, where its not even applying, and its like this dark knight / batman flying in like "I am Batman"... And then, our response, "O Good... why are you Batman... or?... what" Like weve entered into the adult realm, And we are either finding everything to be the childs play drawing of reality in comparison, or we are living it, astounded by the adult level thought happening, which doesnt necessarily mean its perfect, its just like, trying to poke at the infinite boundary, like theres quite alot of boundary it covers. And at any moment, we can dream the dream that challenges it all, by recircling backwards, entering into a whole new world. That unconscious thing becoming conscious, towards Consciousness, Again. Its built into the thing. Its annoying.

(cont., ii., caution, as its a cautionary tale, experiental warning ahead... im not saying i would do any of this, its just a thought experiment) i would probably need to try a deleriant drug to confirm that the hallucinations even slightly resemble this pattern as well, This like forgetting, remembering, forgetting, and seeing and believing things arent there, or believing what the truth is, as its manifesting -thing, As a part of me is like, sure, all the wild scenes, Thats whats making it funny, but i also want it to represent... like... some semblance of a true story, like i couldnt make it on just the sole lsd and shroom experiences in my past, in the same way someone making a video game is looking for the experience of that process, not necessarily married to all of the amazing aspects that a game can have in it... if that makes sense.. Like the journey is more important to me than the product, to have the product possess within it, somewhere, atleast, some notion or semblance of a connection back to the journey it took to make it. Thats like, the pinnacle of thought for me, otherwise its not the right move, for me. Anyone who does posses the actual experience already can happily take the idea and run w/ it.

(cont.) Part of like, the super serious attitude also acts like a contrary element to make it funnier, Whether its David Goggins who tries to undermine everything by thattt "im too tough for this", or the super serious himalayan mountain, like a spiritual journey that requires serious diligence... All those things only make it more funny, cause its like this emotionally fueled experience. If it was like an obvious joke w/ an explicit jokey sentiment, wed prolly not find it as funny.

I knew eventually someone would laugh or smile, As i had had a long run of dry humor jokes happenin, but i couldnt tell if anyone had received em or what. It also sounds like a really sick shaman book in a way, As someone could really make it like a serious "triathlon, around the world, and back", like "Best seller, Shaman Experience", And the joke would be that, its like this guy whos totally out of his mind, and doesnt know where he is, or is just lost and doesnt know who, what or where he is at. And like, the audience tries to guess "What poisonous plant did he ingest, whats causing him to hallucinate like this", as it starts out in the middle of the trip, so its like, picking up clues along the way nd tryina piece it all together.

I really like old things now, Like, the difference / contrast of the Ad/Ai gen., is making movies that are 90 years old look and feel amazing in comparison,Likewise w/ D.A.R.E and "Just say no", etc., This is your brain on drugs. Iuno what it is, Like its like abominations that are raising up everything that had come prior, i dont get it.

Heres somethin im workin on right now, for this one poem, im tryina make this like, repetitive sound or worded poetry, Like 'An oval apple, an oval apple, an oval apple, an oval apple (this is the repetitive line) Where each line alternates between, first a normal, succinctly spoken / phrased line, then for the next line it begins what's called ἐπανάληψις (the repetitive line) which could just represent repetition (such as reocurring lines or words) or wat im tryina do, which is this constant iteration on the same turn of words, like im tryina find these phrases that can be iterated on, whether it be in English or anything else, so long as it has like, that matching quality to it like an oval apple or something.

"Νοοπλάνησις by Gog" New-oh-planesis, or No-ew-planesis, somethin akin to that, and one reviewer said that They did a word count, and the word 'vermin' was used 247 times.

A reocurring theme is also 'All the women here are vampires.... (⁠◔⁠‿⁠◔⁠)But we cant tell if hes talking about the West African delusion, or the stuff that happened on the first two pages of his delusion, And he also keeps calling them little boys who look like rats, so i guess its hard to tell. It feels like hes traveling all over the world and meeting religious figures along the way. Good book. Lol.

Well the next part shifts from the dramatic narration to more of an exposition, where he says like 'All the women in the village vanished, and i had to make off w/ nothing but a donkey tail and a blood diamond... Where we, the audience, then is to assume he is confusimg his situation w/ West Africa, Sierra Leone, as he says 'someone gave me "the hep.," and he comes up against a tree, and "had i failed to solve the riddle" is what he describes, cause he thinks its a sphinx, given hes just described how he went from Africa to the far east, crossing the desert of souls in a week, even though its been less than 4-5 min., But really, he stresses that the women are trying to poison him or give him hepatitis, but that hes too tough for it.

Directly from page ii, You wanna go to the Aztec temple? You wanna get to the city of gold? Let me ask you noobies something. What do you think of, when you look at me? Better yet, when you look down below my waiste, Do yous see legs? Yes? No, im not the one whos freaking out. Dont accuse me of it. Youre the one whos freaking out when you look down — I know why — That is — I know why you want me... Yous wanna suck my blood. I know how these vampire-blood-clinics work. Yous wanna suck my dry~nubs. Go ahead. Here. Here, yous can have it—yous want some blood, right? (*flicks blood from his imaginary legless nub*) There. Suck on that one, you... you rat with wings. You know what you remind me of...? A muskrat. A rat with no home, with no strength, scared, with your long hair... Your shaggy hair, your unkempt hair, and feathers all over. You look like a baby bird. You wanna go cry to mommy? See im a real dawg. Im a pitbull. Im a different breed. I bark when im spoken to, cause im a different human species. Ask the sherpa to look at my sht, look into my eyes. Ask him what he sees, Does he see fear? Does he see legs, period? Thatll give me a clue. That will tell me whether or not i have legs, based on his response, cause i dont wanna stand up and find out. Ask all of these feathered serpents to carry me to the airplane, or call the stewardess. Im a first class citizen. I have rights, and ive not seen the stewardess here in 24 hours. I literally told her 24 hours ago to bring me a head pillow, now i need cruches, thats how bad the service has been. Im gonna talk to the flight agency when we land, as i have a few comments about the service, especially about the old men they have shaking rattles and maracas in my face. Not to mention, theyre just letting my legs run dry. Can i atleast get some alcohol, some cloth, or anything to drink? Stewardess!? Tell me, who's flyin' this bird? ...

This is the first page of David Goggins new book, cp/pasted directly as is... Enjoy... I go for the gold medal. I go for the mountain's peak. I go towards the last stand, as well as any low to mid-range standings that could be had. I am the beast. I am a designer of someone who knows hes the best, a winner in a dress. Im a drop of ass sweat as it hits the crest. Im your mother in her apron, i'm your Native American Buffalo, as is sacred. I'm the septum on a bull, but dont pull me by my nose, unless you wanna get tossed up my son. "Woof woof". Im a dog in heat. Im your ankle as it starts singin', for, im the finishline as it starts healin', like a door thats only a quintillian (miles away). Your mother just called tosay, she is here. Hey little boy, you father sends his regards. He says, come home. youre almost there. Just give up. Youre almost there. Do you have a problem w/ me? Do you wanna die, soonish?! Son, thats nooo problem. Everyone dies. It happens when they say "Stop". I dont say stop. You know what i say? "Help me" When im coming down off the mountain, do you think i get tired? When my ankles are singin, and i dont see another human in sight, let alone a road to follow, do you think me, David Goggins gets discouraged? No, i just look for the next breath, the next moment, the nearest sherpa who can help me call an ambulance, cause im asking for help. Literally not figuratively. These words right now are a call for help. Are you gonna fulfill the call? Do you have the mark of the beast? Do you even see legs when you look down? Im asking. I seen a bear a few miles back. Im concerned for my legs. i dont even see legs, when i look down. Wait. Why would David Goggins need legs? If a bear ate my legs off in mid-run, Do you think that would slow me down? but im not running away. I cant run away. I dont let the gushing blood deter me from calling the sherpa. Im gonna find that sherpa. This book is a call to all emergency helicopters, and sherpas, if i could get air lifted out... Thx. Hit me up on the sherpas landline, and then he will draw a map as to where my current location isat, thats how much trouble im in... Like, i literally dont see legs right now, and its concerning. The shamans nd stuff come in later... This is just the first page.

Like the textured critera means something different to the folks who are falling for this (this gen. of like, experiencing the larger picture of art), or are just hypnotized by whatever is like, "the bare minimum" experience, Like iuno how many ppl are being fooled, but clearly they are somehow... I mean... Like iuno wat ppl being born right now r even gonna think of, when they experience any of it, like its akin to looking at plastic lids or something, Like its only for those collecting pogs, or something, but it doesnt extend into the trillions of possible human developments? Like... Its in its own pog-like niche of utter confusion.

That even might be a common objective in dialectic speech, to reduce everything to a singular, transcendent / otherwise thoughtful word, that everyone likes / agrees or settles on, if not to align "meaning with word", but to have the underlying function of that word as the priority by which you speak it — And that agreement is in favor of insert word. I mean, it sortve starts to blend real, literal actualization w/ magical or just deeply spiritual thought and such, but whatever the result may be, its a way to do the same thing that non-duality wants to, its just the dialectic prolly didnt have as far of a grasp on some of the ideas it had wanted, Like they really were defining things (that which hadnt clear usage before, outside of the mythological, magical intentions or contexts) and at the same time... so its hard to put the rug under the carpet or something, like its like trying to put two underlying things on top of one another, which isnt easy, unless its established whats the underlying thing to begin w/, which i think we atleast have that longer-standing luxury of, or a more battle tested version of... im over-explaining. The end. Done.

I think i added a word that i liked, in to my own list, "aiatta", but i made it mean like, a sudden surprise, like you seen a tall building in a city for the first time (not the reaction, but 'sudden surprise, itself, presumably, like, "an aiatta") .. And i dont remember why, but i know its always a direct inspiration from something that already existed... And i dont know why i bring that up, but... Well ya know... its just midnite riffage.