kavaris

(cont., ii., caution, as its a cautionary tale, experiental warning ahead... im not saying i would do any of this, its just a thought experiment) i would probably need to try a deleriant drug to confirm that the hallucinations even slightly resemble this pattern as well, This like forgetting, remembering, forgetting, and seeing and believing things arent there, or believing what the truth is, as its manifesting -thing, As a part of me is like, sure, all the wild scenes, Thats whats making it funny, but i also want it to represent... like... some semblance of a true story, like i couldnt make it on just the sole lsd and shroom experiences in my past, in the same way someone making a video game is looking for the experience of that process, not necessarily married to all of the amazing aspects that a game can have in it... if that makes sense.. Like the journey is more important to me than the product, to have the product possess within it, somewhere, atleast, some notion or semblance of a connection back to the journey it took to make it. Thats like, the pinnacle of thought for me, otherwise its not the right move, for me. Anyone who does posses the actual experience already can happily take the idea and run w/ it.

This is the first page of David Goggins new book, cp/pasted directly as is... Enjoy... I go for the gold medal. I go for the mountain's peak. I go towards the last stand, as well as any low to mid-range standings that could be had. I am the beast. I am a designer of someone who knows hes the best, a winner in a dress. Im a drop of ass sweat as it hits the crest. Im your mother in her apron, i'm your Native American Buffalo, as is sacred. I'm the septum on a bull, but dont pull me by my nose, unless you wanna get tossed up my son. "Woof woof". Im a dog in heat. Im your ankle as it starts singin', for, im the finishline as it starts healin', like a door thats only a quintillian (miles away). Your mother just called tosay, she is here. Hey little boy, you father sends his regards. He says, come home. youre almost there. Just give up. Youre almost there. Do you have a problem w/ me? Do you wanna die, soonish?! Son, thats nooo problem. Everyone dies. It happens when they say "Stop". I dont say stop. You know what i say? "Help me" When im coming down off the mountain, do you think i get tired? When my ankles are singin, and i dont see another human in sight, let alone a road to follow, do you think me, David Goggins gets discouraged? No, i just look for the next breath, the next moment, the nearest sherpa who can help me call an ambulance, cause im asking for help. Literally not figuratively. These words right now are a call for help. Are you gonna fulfill the call? Do you have the mark of the beast? Do you even see legs when you look down? Im asking. I seen a bear a few miles back. Im concerned for my legs. i dont even see legs, when i look down. Wait. Why would David Goggins need legs? If a bear ate my legs off in mid-run, Do you think that would slow me down? but im not running away. I cant run away. I dont let the gushing blood deter me from calling the sherpa. Im gonna find that sherpa. This book is a call to all emergency helicopters, and sherpas, if i could get air lifted out... Thx. Hit me up on the sherpas landline, and then he will draw a map as to where my current location isat, thats how much trouble im in... Like, i literally dont see legs right now, and its concerning. The shamans nd stuff come in later... This is just the first page.

(cont.) Part of like, the super serious attitude also acts like a contrary element to make it funnier, Whether its David Goggins who tries to undermine everything by thattt "im too tough for this", or the super serious himalayan mountain, like a spiritual journey that requires serious diligence... All those things only make it more funny, cause its like this emotionally fueled experience. If it was like an obvious joke w/ an explicit jokey sentiment, wed prolly not find it as funny.

I knew eventually someone would laugh or smile, As i had had a long run of dry humor jokes happenin, but i couldnt tell if anyone had received em or what. It also sounds like a really sick shaman book in a way, As someone could really make it like a serious "triathlon, around the world, and back", like "Best seller, Shaman Experience", And the joke would be that, its like this guy whos totally out of his mind, and doesnt know where he is, or is just lost and doesnt know who, what or where he is at. And like, the audience tries to guess "What poisonous plant did he ingest, whats causing him to hallucinate like this", as it starts out in the middle of the trip, so its like, picking up clues along the way nd tryina piece it all together.

I really like old things now, Like, the difference / contrast of the Ad/Ai gen., is making movies that are 90 years old look and feel amazing in comparison,Likewise w/ D.A.R.E and "Just say no", etc., This is your brain on drugs. Iuno what it is, Like its like abominations that are raising up everything that had come prior, i dont get it.

Heres somethin im workin on right now, for this one poem, im tryina make this like, repetitive sound or worded poetry, Like 'An oval apple, an oval apple, an oval apple, an oval apple (this is the repetitive line) Where each line alternates between, first a normal, succinctly spoken / phrased line, then for the next line it begins what's called ἐπανάληψις (the repetitive line) which could just represent repetition (such as reocurring lines or words) or wat im tryina do, which is this constant iteration on the same turn of words, like im tryina find these phrases that can be iterated on, whether it be in English or anything else, so long as it has like, that matching quality to it like an oval apple or something.

"Νοοπλάνησις by Gog" New-oh-planesis, or No-ew-planesis, somethin akin to that, and one reviewer said that They did a word count, and the word 'vermin' was used 247 times.

A reocurring theme is also 'All the women here are vampires.... (⁠◔⁠‿⁠◔⁠)But we cant tell if hes talking about the West African delusion, or the stuff that happened on the first two pages of his delusion, And he also keeps calling them little boys who look like rats, so i guess its hard to tell. It feels like hes traveling all over the world and meeting religious figures along the way. Good book. Lol.

Well the next part shifts from the dramatic narration to more of an exposition, where he says like 'All the women in the village vanished, and i had to make off w/ nothing but a donkey tail and a blood diamond... Where we, the audience, then is to assume he is confusimg his situation w/ West Africa, Sierra Leone, as he says 'someone gave me "the hep.," and he comes up against a tree, and "had i failed to solve the riddle" is what he describes, cause he thinks its a sphinx, given hes just described how he went from Africa to the far east, crossing the desert of souls in a week, even though its been less than 4-5 min., But really, he stresses that the women are trying to poison him or give him hepatitis, but that hes too tough for it.

Directly from page ii, You wanna go to the Aztec temple? You wanna get to the city of gold? Let me ask you noobies something. What do you think of, when you look at me? Better yet, when you look down below my waiste, Do yous see legs? Yes? No, im not the one whos freaking out. Dont accuse me of it. Youre the one whos freaking out when you look down — I know why — That is — I know why you want me... Yous wanna suck my blood. I know how these vampire-blood-clinics work. Yous wanna suck my dry~nubs. Go ahead. Here. Here, yous can have it—yous want some blood, right? (*flicks blood from his imaginary legless nub*) There. Suck on that one, you... you rat with wings. You know what you remind me of...? A muskrat. A rat with no home, with no strength, scared, with your long hair... Your shaggy hair, your unkempt hair, and feathers all over. You look like a baby bird. You wanna go cry to mommy? See im a real dawg. Im a pitbull. Im a different breed. I bark when im spoken to, cause im a different human species. Ask the sherpa to look at my sht, look into my eyes. Ask him what he sees, Does he see fear? Does he see legs, period? Thatll give me a clue. That will tell me whether or not i have legs, based on his response, cause i dont wanna stand up and find out. Ask all of these feathered serpents to carry me to the airplane, or call the stewardess. Im a first class citizen. I have rights, and ive not seen the stewardess here in 24 hours. I literally told her 24 hours ago to bring me a head pillow, now i need cruches, thats how bad the service has been. Im gonna talk to the flight agency when we land, as i have a few comments about the service, especially about the old men they have shaking rattles and maracas in my face. Not to mention, theyre just letting my legs run dry. Can i atleast get some alcohol, some cloth, or anything to drink? Stewardess!? Tell me, who's flyin' this bird? ...

Like the textured critera means something different to the folks who are falling for this (this gen. of like, experiencing the larger picture of art), or are just hypnotized by whatever is like, "the bare minimum" experience, Like iuno how many ppl are being fooled, but clearly they are somehow... I mean... Like iuno wat ppl being born right now r even gonna think of, when they experience any of it, like its akin to looking at plastic lids or something, Like its only for those collecting pogs, or something, but it doesnt extend into the trillions of possible human developments? Like... Its in its own pog-like niche of utter confusion.

That even might be a common objective in dialectic speech, to reduce everything to a singular, transcendent / otherwise thoughtful word, that everyone likes / agrees or settles on, if not to align "meaning with word", but to have the underlying function of that word as the priority by which you speak it — And that agreement is in favor of insert word. I mean, it sortve starts to blend real, literal actualization w/ magical or just deeply spiritual thought and such, but whatever the result may be, its a way to do the same thing that non-duality wants to, its just the dialectic prolly didnt have as far of a grasp on some of the ideas it had wanted, Like they really were defining things (that which hadnt clear usage before, outside of the mythological, magical intentions or contexts) and at the same time... so its hard to put the rug under the carpet or something, like its like trying to put two underlying things on top of one another, which isnt easy, unless its established whats the underlying thing to begin w/, which i think we atleast have that longer-standing luxury of, or a more battle tested version of... im over-explaining. The end. Done.

I think i added a word that i liked, in to my own list, "aiatta", but i made it mean like, a sudden surprise, like you seen a tall building in a city for the first time (not the reaction, but 'sudden surprise, itself, presumably, like, "an aiatta") .. And i dont remember why, but i know its always a direct inspiration from something that already existed... And i dont know why i bring that up, but... Well ya know... its just midnite riffage.

Thats another option too, as to what alot of yall are tryina say when yous are talking about the no things, though no-things are also the opposite, like it could be the infinite thing, or it could be the reversal, the source thing, all w/ that same intention in how they are said ... Ergo, i would def understand that shunyatta or the aiatta terms (i didnt know those terms then anyway, but now i do) I think we lack dream terminology too, we stop too soon .... we give up too soon towards the things we inevitably arent gonna be able to de scribe. lol... i mean, someone does understand it if they said it, technically, or they dont understand it cause they didnt experience anything (which, imean... degrees of that exist i guess ...;i mean, i dont normally think of "how many levels there might be..." like its hard to imagine wat that is, or i cant remember wat happened last week)

I get all of my writings right from David Goggins books, cp/pasted, Ai'd-in

This might be at the edge of where words can go, but theres this thing thats like, the meeting point, a crossroads for thoughts, and, because its at the edge, its not a fluent idea, though it might be more fluent in actuality. Its just the void, a thought void, and everything meets there, in this void (dont picture a dark void; unless i talk about darkness, w/ eyes closed) At the same time its like, you dont have to be focusing on this point for it to become the centervoid where said equivalent thoughts are received as, cause like, potentially, anything can become the centervoid of thoughts. Its really the nature of the centervoid that is a priority, cause its part of that active misunderstanding or understanding, like.... like im not sure how much we can really attune to things from that perspective in a true sense, its too unusual, And in some sense, its like tensile strength, like we dont normally go to the painful ends to observe it that way... Like its not like you can really stop time and sort it all like files, like its only a pattern when more people join the staggered center and participate in the cascade towards the minds eye of focus. That is, to meditate is to have a lesser notion of 'how the thought void works, in this extended, and least-evident way — where as, to observe the thoughts is to be lured by ones own mind in the closest equivalent, most-evident way... Like both of those perspectives are Not part of the compounding way towards truth (granted, they can be the truth that is a kind of bareable plateau), As they are just ways to help illustrate what i mean when im referring to the center void of thoughts. Like to remain in a dark-quiet-void is itself part of the initial fledgling state, so its not like thats a more truthy and valuable scenario, and that right there should give you a further clue as to what to do, for you dont figure out the centervoid by obeying the darkness, motionless, thoughtless rules, and neither can you learn from it by following all of the actively fledging thoughts. Like not only is it one perspective within the chosen centervoid, its got a sortve paradoxy quality, per the way you frame the centervoid. I mean, ive not answered the paradox, but i bring it up so yous can see the details within it.

What about this one though, as id like to think that this is super down to Earth. Dont lie to me, be honest, whats his name.... whats the motivational guy who jogs around all day, tell me this isnt something he would say though (mr goggles, or whatever is his name) p.s. this is prolly a bad example, cause the joke was suppose to be that it was real out-there, but this one i think you are gonna easily understand, A devotee, a manti in a dream, like Atlantai, so now you see what i mean It is like *devotion and appreciation towards,* and *veiling of a dream* that we dont understand, and cant understand, not fully, for otherwise we are to understand its "unknowing" elements, and thus, it becomes an "awaking", or in the very least, we are acknowledging a limitation / boundary that causes us to exist in said dream or veiling of (i.e. theres many layers that constitute "dream" or "reality") or whatever else, and to die is to have a wider veiling of, a spirit lost, resulting in (me, you) to be in a moment and not remember, to not forget, to just be sortve ignorant of the entirety the thing, that thing that happened prior, i mean, i think i have an even more elaborate way to say of it now, but for now, thats the general idea, which is like, we cant explain it. BUT, its not because we dont get it, or that it doesnt fit into words or ways to express, but rather its just that, its a weir dthing that you have to either get lucky w/, or have some really novel experience w/ It sounds very simple, but its not, i mean, ive been experimenting w/ alot of things, and none of it really works the right way, as of yet. Like it really depends on the intention, like you have infinite directions to decide

Aight this is wat im lookin for, more of this sound atm, like heavily synth'd out stuff like this, Like future music, Anything that makes yous think future , which might mean ya gotta go look for it and post it here

Yous might notl know what im talking about here, but i had learned of this place awhile back, that had been known for breeding a species of rye (i think it was during the 1800s) That had also been known for the ergot that would form on said rye (i mean, if ppl were to make lsd, its usually using other varieties today, and likewise, production of rye/bread, etc, uses strains that dont produce ergot as quickly/or it just doesnt have that same ergot formation), But historically this sangaste rye was bred, and just like, super ideal in regards to its ergot form in, in so like, iuno, it was just too ahead of its time. With that said... im curious if any of yous have heard of Sangaste rye, and if its still being cultivated or if they have since sold the land and converted it over or something. Like we need some sangaste rye, alongside some normal rye species, not just for LsD but to try making rye or bread products -to see how it tastes in comparison. Lol, i realize im asking alot, but yas never know if someone out there is like "Oh, Hello i know all about Sangaste rye!" P.s. i just looked online, and their are companies that are producing Sangaste rye products, so someone out there is growing Sangaste rye.

Its such a complex amount of possibilities and things, but its like, we wanna... atleast try... like try to create the ideal world for each other, have others create the ideal world for themselves, And then we want to hope those worlds are on the same page or that theres a flavorful place in the center where everyone can meet and agree, or to just see the balance point that sits within the ripples of crazy that cascades out centrifugal from the center~the hot spot~ I mean, ive had experiences like that, And perhaps thats as good as it can get, i mean, its just a bit more crazy, from my perspective, atleast thats whats gonna make it quite hard~to explain the nature of the thing while engaging in the thing.

Nd dont get me wrong, sometimes you hear those cool Jesus story/interpretations, the ones that are more about the Ancient archetype, overlayed/embellished on a real pers., And in that case i feel wrong even discussing anything that is to exist within that context, cause its like, "Oh thats interesting. Okay let me destroy you w/ something innovative that isnt even connected to that" which wouldnt be nice to do, since its also a story that has alot of potential i feel, like its a more logical approach. I just dont even care, so thats why its like ('Oh maybe i shouldnt say anythin..... or ima just nod my head, kindve things) Iuno, i dont wanna ever vegin/start Christian, Like i wanna be in innovation pools and hot tub right away, Like Hot tub time machines.

And granted, ive done these things myself too (dont remember em well though), so its a paradox that ppl are able to get around somehow. ... understanding how they did it is yet another thing, cause if we had the recipe wed surely be able to get it across to one another by now. The second option (the 3rd bulletinpoint) no one really knows exists, so i try to re initiate it publically when i have the opportunity.

Did you know, when you dream, that dream isnt just like, unconscious mind jargon, like... Forget about how it compares to, "to be", "to become" and to exist for a moment, as just getting the pragmatics of "dreampt exp.," i think is gonna be important, because if you dont really understand "why", then it can become like, "Oh, Dreams are just the ability to shut down this part of your brain, so you dont experience this other, etc..." (insert-two-branches-of-interest, as i chose to explore a different path below, instead of the dreampt voice one...) In my experience, a significant part of dreaming is the body. Like, sure its a moment to forget concerns concerning the physical body, but its also an experience thats based on the physical bodies experience, which is actively being tested/stressed... To explain it in more detail, its that mystical layer that you veil over the mind, not mentioning to yourself the fact that you still have a body underneath, And what you dont realize is, the physical body sortve comes with you, no matter what, like its part of the cycle of experiencing, embedded in the mind, not as like "this is what i look like" per say, but the felt experience of the body is in there, to a significant degree. I would say, most dreams are actually a "dreampt experience of the spiritual body", and your assumed intellect and mind components are the parts you leave behind, Like the intellect is only needed, in as much as it can realize the problem. Like, i figured out, no matter what you do, you can never get a fixed-position in laying, in sleep that doesnt suck for your back / body. But then i fell asleep on the rim of my most comfortable chair (my butt and lumbar touching the rim, not my back, directly) and slowly slid down the rim throughout the night, never stressing any-on- part of my lumbar, back, etc., and at each interval of that felt-bodily experience (in dream) the dream received a moment, a chance to not suck. And it indeed did not suck ~ It was pretty good, excellent at each interval. Of course, nightmares are those that trap theirselves deep in the subconscious, so you would have to have many more nights of good dreams, to change the cycle of the dreaming. I mean, cycles, in general are embedded pretty deep, so its nice to be relieved of the duty of having to try your experience w/ all of those cycles. Like, you cant ever stop existing per say, but you do get a break if you give yourself a good mental and physical break, And that break can come in the form of a dream, so long as youve diagnosed some bodily issues, or any mental issues you yourself have like... But anyway... In that way, its not exactly straightforward to explain, as everyones existing in different moments w/ different dilemmas to solve. Not everyone has a comfy chair. But its an idea yous can apply, And start to think on more. P.s. I forgot i was gonna include something about the dreampt voice of your dreaming and the subconscious, but i totally forgot. Next time maybe.

@oOo Its hard to explain... Granted, here are the based facts from what i can gather, about the most prominent and recurring nature of dreams, which can maybe tell us what to do about it, in this way you bring up, 1) Its a layer veiling the waking experience. 2) You create this sortve unusual forgetting, a boundary that makes it as though you are "dreaming", which is itself generated by them very last moments of contemplating, right before "falling asleep", which itself carries you into what feels like "Oh, im trapped/embraced in a scene", But its a bit of a paradox, because, to become lucid, is to realize that that mechanism is happening, which would stop the sequence from happening. 3) Its also a limitation on dreaming to begin w/, the idea of dreaming as we know it, cause you may also go about it from this perspective of "dreaming of the very moment you are experiencing, while you had been awake (usually its you staring at a door or a wall or something, in bed", thereby waking up "in a false world thats secretly a dream", and interacting w/, what at first seems like "real, waking, reality", but it soon devolves into the felt-dream as you progress. And granted, neither lucid dreaming or doing what ive described are easy to do since they share this paradoxy thing. So thats one such dilemma. It might not directly indicate what to call the body in all of that, but ive just recently noticed the body is like, a skeleton key that you bring, and the mind is a door -typeve thing (Maybe thats how to think of it, i dont know)

I see Source, open, vessel.. i Iike, source open, vessel. Aquatic ruin, Counter strike source, open, vessel. Source, open, vessel.