First of all, thank you Leo, you've helped me on this journey so much, and second of all - awakening is just pure math equation , don't know how to explain it, most importantly don't know why I need to explain it, but basically it's just math that goes beyond infinity. Is it the greatest feeling I ever had and is it everlasting? Yes and yes
One thing that I see all teachers miss is schizophrenia , or negative dimension , I call it the negative ego, it's not the type of ego that tells you negative things, it's like the negative numbers, or the space that bends inside out on itself, where the ego is located , basically reversed ego, but if ego is already reversed in its nature that would make it a positive ego, where you feel suffering but you think that you feel pleasure at the same time, it's impossible to explain but it is a thing I had to fall in love with too, and I straight up had to imagine infinite hopelessness and fall in love with it lol
Also love is not an embrace of things, I wouldn't call it love, it more so works that if some feeling is under your field of consciousness it can't harm you, but if it's above you then it will literally have power over you, so it's not really love it's more like having power over a thing
I could go on and on but to summarize it, I'm really excited for my future, because this whole spiritual journey was started to just be myself , but for me it's a much, much broader notion than you could realize, not just going to psychotherapy or whatever. And lastly, the meaning of life is indeed 42 , thank you
