LoneWonderer

F**k, no easy way around eh? I'll have to try it at some point but giving up my Matcha routine will be painful not so much for the taste of matcha but feels like I'm not achieving my longevity goals.

I guess to maintain some semblance of human interaction or i'd go insane by myself. Also to learn lot's of new stuff and perspectives.

I drink decaf Coffee for about a year and a half now for health benefits minus the caffeine. It takes about a month to get used to decaf but then you actually start craving it a lot funny enough. I still drink plain matcha which has caffeine but is waaay more stable energy than regular coffee. Matcha is another drink that takes about a month to get used to. I wish I could stop the caffeine entirely but the matcha is such a powerful anti oxidant source that I just must have it for my health and longevity goals. This thread has inspired me however to try at least one week no caffeine and see how it goes.

I shared this article with a family member. thanks for the share and shocking to see.

Welcome to my birth country. 🙏

I trained the Facebook algorithms to think I only like funny cat and dog videos. Now I only get adverts for cat food and dog treats. I don't even own a cat. I mean what did I expect!? Cat has god awakening

I felt happy today. Things looked bright and the constant clouds parted. The future looks bright. My last goal was achieved end of April this year. Anything I set my mind to I achieve, everything I believe I'm incapable...such shall be the case. There is a new goal now and a 4 year journey ahead. There are several major life decisions coming in the near future, decisions will have to be made.

Will I make this into a habit? Don't know never really bothered ever writing about my life so we'll see. 25, Lost and feel I've been lost my entire life. Around me every symbol of success and a life many would kill for. Adopted at 5 years old by the most loving and caring mother imaginable and accepted into a loving and caring extended family. Grew up travelling and living in exotic places and studying in elite private schools. After school spent 1000s of hours reading hundreds of books, watching 1000s of documentaries, listening to hundreds of podcasts on any and all topic imaginable. Society, psychology, philosophy, religion, history, science, cultures etc etc. Most people will never reach the levels of understanding of reality I've reached at 25 in their entire lives. Always I've been interested in understanding truth, what is this reality REALLY. Now at 25 I've moved and live in my dream country (New Zealand), working on a meaningful relatively well paid job in nature conservation, live in a big shared house next to the beach with lovely roomates, have a nice car. Yet I'm miserable. My life feels empty and always has. There is no love, no connection with others (I'm very introverted and have always struggled with human relationships), every day feels like I'm just going through the motions of existing. Nothing gives me wonder. There are things I could be doing to make my life better (learning dating skills, learning to stand up for myself, love myself, believe in my own self worth) but I'm tired. I don't want to keep trying right now (aware of how my thoughts and words create a reality in which I'm not improving myself). It will be up to me to change and better myself when and if I choose. Doesn't mean I haven't tried and succeeded and I know that if I keep trying I can achieve and improve anything and any part of my life that's lacking. I'm just not motivated to do so (yes, another excuse). Don't know how, or why I keep going. Some point I will do 5 meo dmt. This is what keeps me going. The thought that maybe, just maybe this can help respark wonder and love in my life. Yet everyone keeps telling to be prepared for when it dissapoints me. "Everyone" are just people who never bothered to study or try psychedelics in their lives and probably never will. The've just heard all of the horror stories and the narrative of "don't do drugs". If 5 meo or other psychedelics don't help I'll end it all. I can't take my existence anymore. I'm very much aware of how my thoughts build my reality so no feeling sorry for myself and the thoughts I'm having.

The REAL actualizers. We've all gots a wayz to go to get to their standards. VID-20241116-WA0002.mp4

@enchanted Word. Some hard hitting truth right here.

I'm still waiting for a movie trilogy or tv show on the level of the original Lord of the Rings trilogy from the 2000s. The amount of love and passion that was put into those movies is unmatched by almost anything these days. The Rings of power tv show on the other hand was absolute rubbish And not worth anyone's time. I'd say maybe the Dune movies come to mind as something released recently but they are still a far second place.

@Natasha Tori Maru Ok I won't watch it. I had a bad feeling about it especially after watching that video on Jared's Cult, wasn't sure wether to fork out the cash and grab a ticket. Thanks for saving me the hassle. I didn't find it that amazing. Maybe that's just a me thing, I've seen other's on this forum praise it. Recently saw the movie "caught stealing" and thought it was a better storyline than this one.

Man I'm hyped for this! I too have been looking at prices for flights to USA and visa costs. Unfortunately I've already booked my vacations for 2026, oh well 2027 it'll have to be :D. I'll have to be a good boy or your leader Trump might not let me in jejeje. It's on, tripping balls in the nevada desert with Leo Gura!

Dem PFOS's being released as you cook up your colesterol fueled bacon n eggs...yum!

Thanks Natasha. Like you have in your blurb I'll have to deal with it on my own terms sooner or later or it will ruin my life. I probably weaponise truth and saying I'm afraid, to not take action. I guess it's a whole mix of different things. I'll end this discussion here now 🙈

Rejection, bad experiences, the commitment I'd have to make to another human being also feels daunting. My lack of experience and the fear of rejection. I know the solution is to just go out and face it, realize that much of it is self imposed narratives and frankly lies I tell myself but the fear stops me completly from taking action. Yes, true

Fear, and absolute unwillingness to face that fear. It may be the case that I'll only do the work when the pain becomes too great but I thought I'd crossed that threshold many times yet here I am. Even 5 meo Malt and Mushrooms haven't helped. *Note fear in the domains of relationships. Spending all the money I make is an emotional crutch and response to a lack of self love or self respect something like that I'm not sure. I am also probably addicted to the high I get from buying something. I will be dealing with my bad money habits in the coming months/year, can't say I'll do the same about the relationships. I think meditation it's just I haven't made it a priority and awakening via psychedelics I still hope to achieve in the near future.

They do help, but they aren't the full picture and are being used as an escape in my case. Anything can be used as an escape books, sex, drugs, entertainment etc. vVery smart people BS themselves saying they're studying or reading or whatever, in reality many of them are escaping self actualization work in whatever field of life they are lacking.

Yeah, your personality shines through on the forum as someone who is confident in herself and keeps it real. I guess when you face all your crap you drop the pretending. Thanks for the share. 👍

To me the real work is awakening, be it through psychedelics or meditation. Also I avoid real emotionally painful work, instead getting lost in books, documentaries etc. to avoid dealing with the harsh things in life. It's not like many areas of my life aren't in balance as I've systematically dealt with loads of my issues such as career, health, I run a small yt channel...but a few persist and those are the very difficult ones I choose to run away from. In my case it's relationships, a meditation practice and saving money instead of spending it.

THIS. Yes.

@theoneandnone sorry to hear that man, I believe traditional approaches such as meditation and kriya yoga will be your best chance if psychedelics are not an option.

I blackout my bedroom completly a few hours before sleep, no screens an hour before bed and I use red bedside lamp in my room and bathroom at night. I even had a gap under my bedroom door and I sealed that too to prevent light leakage! 😂