Caoimhin

@AndylizedAAY I see, I miss understood. Yes, the common place book is good to have and refer back to. Please continue(i was mostly kidding when i said to delete it lol). I just think in your case you are crippling yourself with all this work. You seem like a very smart and dedicated person. I truely admire your enthusiasm. An idea off the top of my head is to use numbered bullet points and then use a random number generator to help decide, then stick with it for a week or month. Or like Rocky said, follow your own curiosity. No. In an individual video Leo doesn't offer too many questions. But if you are collecting questions from all his videos and then sitting down to answer each one, that's overwhelming. Good practice would be to do the questions and exercises during and/or immediately after the video, before moving on to the next topic. Leo has clearly stated that he wants us to think for ourselves. This is my two cents, use your best judgement. Good luck!

I didn't read your full post, because it is too much(that's a clue). I can understand why you don't know where to start... this is overwhelming. My advice is delete this Google doc or never open it again. Then, when you finish that, start from scratch and think of one question that comes to mind and contemplate that. Build your concentration and discipline to stick to one thing at a time. You can't focus on all this at once, and you end up not working on any of it. You are finite and this list could take many lifetimes to answer lol. I have the same tendency to make big lists like this and overwhelm myself; trust that you will find the answers you need when you are ready. When you realize that there is no right answer, you will find it. Good luck!

don't underestimate the power of this technique...

Lots of great advice here, I'll add my long winded two cents. I've felt the same way in life up untill recent, though I haven't gone as far as you career-wise or spiritually. It sounds like you had a hard fall from the place you worked so hard to get up to. It's intimidating knowing you have to try to do it all again but now knowing how much work it took and how painful it is hitting the ground from that height. You have to work even harder to get back to where you were. Like other posts said, you were going against the current and that's why it was so hard.... You've been avoiding and trying to bipass something this whole time. You thought you were being spiritual, but you were using it to avoid facing the truth... You don't actually love yourself. You resent yourself as an ego, and now as God. It's funny, God hating himself, sounds like a perfect discription of Satan, right? You've been beating your ego with a bat trying to kill it(then you upgraded to an nuclear bomb with ayaquasca and 5 meo dmt), but that only makes it a wild, abused, and scared animal. Think about a dog that is beaten and abused; the dog only knows fear and pain from the people it's supposed to trust, and it bites back violently and desperately because of it. You are the only one you have and, I can bet that you've never said "I love you" to yourself and meant it. This is at the core, this is the place to start. Think of all the hurt you've inflicted on yourself and the healing and love you desperately need to give yourself. All you've needed your whole life was your own love(God's Love)... I recommend watching Leo's old video "How to Love Yourself". Do that exercise daily and do it until you start crying in the mirror, then keep going(Leo recommends repeating 20 times in total). SAY IT LIKE YOU ACTUALLY MEAN IT(this is very important). Look deeply into your own eyes as you say it, watch the pupils dilate, notice that these are the eyes of God looking and saying this to you. You might even start having psychedelic-like experiences, but don't seek them out, just be aware. In addition to telling yourself, "I love you exactly the way you are," I've customized my self-love practice. I mix in other phrases to break up the monotony, so I'm not just repeat one thing like a Hail Mary or Our Father. I added for myself, "you don't have to change", "you are enough", "i will never abandon you", "i'm sorry for hurting you" , "i did my best", "i didn't know any better", and really anything that comes up that you want to tell yourself. This is your moment with yourself, make it personal, this is literally the most personal thing you've done. Notice how you've probably never had this moment with yourself before now.... Last recommendation, seeking out energy healing and trauma based therapy is also a powerful aide in helping to bring things to the surface. You could also chose to do this exercise on psychedelics, but don't let that stop you from doing it sober too(both are powerful). Ultimately, you will be happy and successful when you love yourself unconditionally, not the other way around(the way you initially tried). I call it the principle of reverse causality.... All the best and I hope you find your answer.

@Phil King did you get the standard or the EVOLVE edition for $500?

100% that's a main reason i'm going

call 988. it's the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. seriously call it. it might feel awkward at first but it is so helpful just to have someone there to listen. it's free and they'll stay on until you feel better. they follow up too. it's really a beautiful service that doesn't get enough attention. it's my go to last resort. make life the only choice.... also if you were serious about a book recommendation, i think that's the main focus of the tibetan book of the dead, i haven't read it yet so don't quote me on it. you can also die while alive, and i think that's the most proper way to die... leo has books about that on his book list... i think the process is called enlightenment or something... lol in all seriousness, be safe.

@Phil King thanks for your replies, i appreciate it! sounds like a good deal and a lot of content!

wow! that's hard core man, i admire the dedication. looking forward to the review, yeah that sounds like a good deal, i'll pull the trigger on it tomorrw, thanks for the reply man! good luck with finals

great post! I just signed up for his free tour in NYC and this post is making me feel even more hyped! The only down side is that it's in September and that feels like forever away. How was the Miami tour? I believe that one is three days long, was it worth spending three days there?? Also, has anyone done coaching calls or purchased the hotseat at home program? is it a scam or is it worth the investment? i've noticed some red flags from the free coaching call, but maybe it was just that coach.