eos_nyxia

Well, if you simply jumped from one treadmill to another, spiritual or not, ultimately your intentions beget the structure and patterns your thoughts and emotions take. How could you not be miserable? Your approach is a certain flavour of tail-chasing.

On a personal level, I've never felt like I had the right stuff to be a good mother, though I've done a lot of soul searching to think about what this would involve. As if "intelligence" and/or material resources are what make a good or decent parent. It is not. Neither is empathy or sensitivity alone. I am good with younger people in the sense that I GET them (especially late childhood/ teenagers) and I even used to work with them, but that doesn't mean that I would be a good parent. Among the many possible issues is that I have very sensitive senses and am not the most adaptable close quarters and home spaces, and there is the sheer amount of energy and effort it would take to adapt to them in a way that doesn't leave me shellshocked or me STILL taking it out on them in some way. Like, I could probably be a good mom if I had a 24/7 nanny or a partner that did 80% of the childcare stuff, lol. AKA. If.... I could be a DAD instead of a mom. Unless I could guarantee that I would get a child that was just like myself as a child (aka. like a quiet, super mature "little adult", but BTW that behaviour too often arises for emotionally unhealthy reasons), I will suffer a great deal and it will consume my whole life. But getting to pick and choose your child? That's not how any of this works, yet people often operate with this innate, unexamined assumption, that they can either somehow "pick" or mould their child into a product of their liking. Also, I would like to keep my body intact, thanks! Being in a female body has been hard enough as it is already and I've had enough. I got used to people calling me "selfish" for this when I was younger, which is usually when I start asking them about their philanthropic efforts or vocational work with youth, or if they're planning to adopt. RADIO SILENCE. People who care about helping kids are.... usually out helping kids instead of getting into these stupid discussions with childless girls and women. I would say, for whoever is interested in starting a family, a person who has this grand vision of what their kid is going to be like, what they should like and who they should be, is probably going to be shitty parent. That would be a flaming red flag for me. Even people who don't actively hold their perspective still often hold this perspective. The question is, what does it take to get a person to that point?

Yes, this would be ideal. That's kind of the point. It sucks in the shorter term for countries and economies, especially when your whole model is based on the attachment to the idea of infinite economic growth. It's not a popular view, though I don't care much about people's opinions on the matter; it's not like opinions alone are going to make much of difference. Either we get this sustainability thing right and make the appropriate choices, or we'll be reminded that we are very much still animals that are subject to the natural world who have lived beyond our means and will be culled accordingly in time, all while dragging our children and children's children into it, along with the number of other species we are currently responsible for making extinct. Let's see how people's current children and their children feel about us and our choices when they are adults, I guess, when we are the boomers' age. That's a real test. I'm guessing they're not going to be very happy with what we've left them.

My hot take is that there are two people with pieces of work for fathers, Elon and Trump, who are also magnets for people with various daddy issues. Of course they will defend them until they lose too much for it to be tolerable, or else they'll go down with that ship. No surprise there. Tell them that their daddy doesn't love or care about them in the least, and they deflect. Noticing that vibe with the people who support Canada's annexation and Maple Leaf MAGAs here in Canada. It reeks. Not that it's anyone's fault what their parents chose to do to them growing up, but still. The standard issue answer applies here: go to therapy and/ or do some introspection and sort yourself out?

I grew up in the 00s where the only sexual orientations that were recognized were gay, straight, and bisexual. At least, that was all I had ever heard about while I was still a minor. Is there a term for having a preference for dick-havers, but not an exclusive one? Not for masculine or feminine presentation, but dick-havers. That includes trans, men who want to cross-dress, etc. Throughout my life, I've thought of myself as straight, heteroflexible, bisexual, pansexual, etc., all while trying to keep up with modern vernacular. TBH, I need to be driven by a very strong, unrestrained romantic and sexual drive to ignore otherwise incompatible or repelling cishet men on a personality level, which would then make me want to compromise, converse, and work things out where I could not be bothered to otherwise. AKA. It's never been an issue with the bodies or raw sexual attraction, it's what comes out of men's mouths... Like we are just different, you know? I've even had a moment in my late teens where I asked myself, am I trans? (But how can I be trans if I don't have a strong gender-identification preference and am mostly willing to either go with the flow, or I'm willing to deliberately develop some aspect of myself or another, whether "masculine" or "feminine", and am deeply ambivalent about the current status of my own genitals?) Like I'm fine with being identified with a woman for the most part, but I've never intrinsically seen myself or felt like one. It's always been a performance or taking on a highly deliberate role.

More and more of our public libraries, especially the large and central ones, have universal gender-neutral washrooms now. Also, many of the larger public pools have men's, women's, and universal gender change rooms. The men's and women's changerooms are open, but the universal change room has all closed stalls. I can't think of anywhere else that I've seen them, though. I have no idea what my alma mater is doing, and I haven't been on a major university campus for a while.

Just anecdotally (and not from personal experience or the experience of people I know), quite a few men either hide their conservative political status or list themselves as "moderate" when they are not. Sort of like how people (allegedly) hide the fact that they have children and then try to get with childfree people (no children, never want them). I assume it's a matter of trying to nab people via deception and the "sunk cost" fallacy.

As a woman, I don't have the luxury to not care about forced birth. Which to be honest, that luxury sounds nice. (Though let's be real, I'm sure the well-offs in the States will find a way to get it done safely.) If it doesn't affect me personally, it potentially affects people I know, and I just generally care too? Let's just say I have to choose between severely limiting my consumption and the state attempting to force me to bring a life I don't want to bring into this world? It's a no-brainer. Abject poverty it is!

There are number of issues that could be focused on, including the purely economic. But let me guess, there aren't that many Canadian women who are signing up to get their reproductive rights taken away. For that alone, even if just for the principle of it, I would give up A LOT materially and economically. I'm sure we have our conservative women who are either super brainwashed or believe that they would somehow benefit enough from aligning with the current US administration. The joke's on them though, those women are gonna get Serena Joy'ed at best (Handmaid's Tale).

There is the human desire to be seen along with the desire to do the seeing. You could say that there is a very feminine, primal desire that centres strongly around being seen though, which is a deep and contentious issue for many, many women, to the point that it fragments us at a core level, alienating us from our own bodies, depriving us of the belief in our own agency, and robbing us of the potential to be unfettered in our personal expression and sense of feminine power. The way in which we are looked at forms a part of this sort of toxic but affirming feedback loop. It's like a quick sugar rush with an injection of poison and violent nausea. IMO the more of this there is ("cheap, dehumanizing, low-quality male attention"), the more the poison effect becomes impossible to ignore. The younger and more inexperienced you are, the more this desire is superficial and limited in scope for both sexes. As you get older and more experienced, your needs tend to get more extensive and complex (though some people stay where they are as if stuck in a loop for decades, if not their whole lives). Do you know what this is usually called when people stay the same? Stunted. Immature. But when you've not had the opportunity to feel truly seen or do the seeing, then you start fetishizing every last scrap of attention, even the idea of it. I'm saying this as an observation, not a judgment. This is at the core of the issue, isn't it? All the men who feel like sex is a way of truly being "seen" and having your being affirmed in a fundamental way, if not the ONLY way. It was never just about getting off or getting physically serviced, or else so many men wouldn't have a problem with paying for it (because this is often viewed as "illegitimate" or pathetic by some) or the women who sell sexual services. You feel like you NEED THIS to be whole, to be a man, to be empowered, to truly experience life, etc. If this is how you feel, no wonder you feel like women-at-large are holding you hostage. Conflicting drives, we all tend to have them until some combination of time or effort sorts it out. For many, it never gets truly sorted out. But many women learn to embrace invisibility, even as they might have some deeply lingering, conflicting feelings about it. It's just that.... you're not looking at all those other women, are you? (Wouldn't it be nice, to have a world where we feel free to be truly seen, and to see others truly?)

This is especially a late-stage capitalism issue, isn't it? At least one person has already brought it up in this thread. I mean.... how many corporations and company owners truly care about their consumers? Is every waitress who works at Applebee's a shitty and immoral person because they serve junk food there? A woman's gotta eat somehow. Unmigitated greed is a separate issue. You're right, it's better to get it from women who are likely getting a raw deal... For what it's worth, I respect women who are called to the "sacred prostitute" role, which is an extremely ancient archetype that is older than the Abrahamic religions (e.g. Cult of Isis adjacent prostitution). In this incarnation, it deserves to be treated respectfully as a social service profession, like being a therapist or counsellor, or perhaps a massage therapist. By default, this eliminates many exploitative behaviours on the part of providers. At the very least, someone who is serving others in this way deserves respect for what they do for others, both from their clients and society at large.

I mean.... if you take away both the appreciation for male attention and liking and needing the money, what is there left for many women, especially when it comes to casual sex? Statistically speaking, it's certainly not orgasms, lol. What is the payoff beyond satiating your initial curiosity, if you're not getting pleasured like a man while also dealing with the risks you deal with as a woman? Besides, if you enjoy sex like the stereotypical man, you typically get shamed for that (in mainstream society, not talking about niche social circles). Being promiscuous and not being socially maneuvering (like "manipulative", or obfuscating what you do) is not often a winning combination. So you give freely as a woman (but like, not to too many others!), and you don't even get a basic, human level of respect where you get seen and treated as an actual person? What is the point? It's a sucker's deal. At least sex workers (who are not being trafficked and have some level of economic choice when it comes to their profession) are getting something concrete in return. Sex is literally a transaction, as in, the transaction of physical, emotional, and subtle energies. This doesn't just have to be under a capitalistic framework (though modern casual sex very much is). Even at its most "spiritually elevated" and mutually beneficial state, things of value must be exchanged for it to be valuable. This includes actual, mutual pleasure and emotional affirmation. Typically, the men are not offering enough value for what they are asking for in the way they are asking for it, so that is where the money comes in.

....because why not?

I think it is unlikely as well (physical war). If they're interested in propaganda, they'd best use a different technique rather than overt attempts at causing diversion/ exhaustion combined with disrespect. If they're even mentally capable of it, that is. Again, treating us as America 2.0 which is going to continue to go along with whatever whims they have is a mistake that enough Canadians will not overlook anymore, looming tariff or no tariff. I've said before -- this is a breaking point. The overt lack of "respect" thing is huge. At least make SOME attempt to slide the disrespect under the rug ("plausible deniability") and present some kind of cohesive narrative about what you actually want. (I mean, please don't. Please keep making it easier for us to turn against you so we can be kicked into gear and sort ourselves out already. As someone mentioned before, we very much have our own issues as a country.) He does not represent our zeitgeist, especially right now.

Non-Canadians gravely underestimate how hard Canadians will fight back when pushed into a corner, whether in a trade war or an actual, real arms war. They should, at the very least, be prepared to bleed in ways that are highly, deeply inconvenient and painful for them. At this point, the more we are pushed unjustifiably and the more disrespect there is, the more we will push back. Like... my grandfather did not lose his leg fighting Nazis and fascists for no reason. It was a long time ago, but men THREW THEMSELVES into enlisting in that war. Unfortunately, it often takes conflict and a universal threat to have this level of solidarity. When was the last time we had this level of solidarity in Canada anyway?

As for fentanyl coming in from Canada because of the so-called drug war; do you know how little of it is Canadian? From your own media sources, it's about: 0.2% https://www.nytimes.com/2025/01/30/world/canada/canada-fentanyl-trump.html https://www.cnn.com/2025/02/03/politics/us-canada-trade-fentanyl-fact-check/index.html We know that he's making up reasons for whatever it is that he has in mind.

FYI, that money was already going to be put into border security. Canada already agreed to it... https://www.canada.ca/en/public-safety-canada/news/2024/12/the-government-of-canadas-border-plan-significant-investments-to-strengthen-border-security-and-our-immigration-system.html The time stamp is at the bottom of that webpage (December 2024). It's being reframed as some kind of brand-new win in media, and it is not. It's our PM patting DT on the back and saying "yep, you won!". This is literally what DT does -- spread misinformation. This video was from last month.

It's a 30-day pause on tariffs, after which it will be dangling over our heads again. https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/trudeau-trump-speak-trade-war-1.7448805?__vfz=medium%3Dsharebar And he's still on about this, acting like an abusive partner. Either he's spouting complete nonsense, he's distracting from other things he's doing on purpose, or it really is an overt threat. Which one is it primarily? https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5123538-trump-canada-51st-state/ Either way, I'm STILL not going back to supporting American megacorps and businesses, and I suspect that many other Canadians feel the same way.

Currently: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/ford-ripping-up-province-contract-with-starlink-1.7448763 Meanwhile, yesterday in BC: Wow, gaslighting. Who would have expected that?? https://www.reuters.com/world/americas/white-house-mexico-is-serious-canada-appears-have-misunderstood-trumps-executive-2025-02-03/

What I find disappointing is that people STILL need to find a common enemy to unite against, or else we tend to find yet another reason to fragment amongst ourselves.

Just because historically we're "polite", tend to be fatalistic, and have gone along with them and supported them in the past (including supporting their stupid wars), this doesn't mean that we're going to keep bending over. This is likely the permanent breaking point for us. Like... even conservatives have turned against Trump here, though maybe there's a few braindead bottom feeders left. Even just the idea of us all being one state, lol. Spoken like someone who understands nothing about Canada and doesn't want to know anything. At least split it up, WTF?? Have fun with the riots, lol.

This is like watching a game of Civ where that one leader starts acting unhinged in diplomacy, lol

Trudeau's speech: FYI, Canadians are pretty much universally on board with this. I'm optimistic about Canada's long-term prospects, and I think we're in the process of being snapped out of our own lethargy and complicity when it comes to our dependence on the US. Many of us are already in the process of weaning ourselves off American megacorps and products (e.g. Amazon) in response to this. Ironically, Trump might be doing much more for Canadian unity and strengthening our identity and sense of collective purpose. I'm not so optimistic for you all in the US of A, particularly for the common person without wealth. You guys have your own gauntlet ahead of you, and must somehow decide for yourselves, both individually and collectively, despite the shellshock... At its heart, this isn't just a trade war about the exchange of currency and natural resources. This is also a war of cultures and values.

Ok, name a time when there was currency but no paid sex... This has been done before. A number of Polynesian societies were not so precious about sex, nor did they fetishize it. People still coupled up, most often stayed coupled up (to my knowledge), and had kids. Believe it or not, men still wanted to be around women.

My overall impression is that people don't want to hear you talk about it, even if it's a human experience that needs to be processed and made sense of just like any other. Also, there is a stupid taboo against calling yourself beautiful, even if it's other people who decided that you were in the first place. They want the power to build you up and rip you down at their discretion. You used to see a similar type of behaviour in tabloid magazines in the 2000s with people crucifying female celebrities and pop stars. The paps were like wolves back then. Like shut up, be pretty, and be of use to other people. But surely anyone with any sense and experience sees how disposable they are. From my perspective -- I don't make money or receive other material benefits from my appearance, so I don't see why I ought to be grateful for it, just because it's something other people covet and I myself used to covet. If all I wanted was the simple validation of being affirmed constantly, that wore off a long time ago. I grew up, I got older, and the attention hasn't stopped. But I don't have a hole in me that needs constant filling with the attention and approval of strangers and acquaintances for any reason at all. I'm quite whole enough, thank you. Sure, I have the human desire to be seen, admired, and appreciated, even for my looks. Within reason though. People project onto you a lot, especially some men. They think that just because THEY would milk it for all it's worth that all (i.e. to use it like a weapon or in a sociopathic way) therefore most women would. I have never seen evidence of this being truth. As far as I'm concerned, other people made these rules, not me, They have their complexes about it, and sometimes I've had my own. Sometimes there is no overlap.