I agree with you on both points. It really does appear to be a raw deal even if NSA pleasure is what you're seeking as a woman.
The kicker is men who need to feel that their hookup up wants "them for them", I guess (or the closest thing they can humanly get to it). Whether it's sexually, for their body, for their personality/ "charisma", etc. rather than their wallet. And this is somehow mutually exclusive from providing money directly to women. Men who don't have this hang-up can potentially get what they want from the opposite sex for free... but they might choose not to for various reasons. Or... maybe they can't, and still, the experience is worth it enough to them to keep paying for it.
Men who don't care, for whatever their motives are, are free from this dichotomy.