eos_nyxia

Never trust a man who jerks off with one hand and condemns with the other.

TWO FACTORS: (clickbaity science article titles alert) 1) HEART-TO-SKY: the higher, uncontained (by human standards) energy of the solar flares over the last 5-6 years. The auroras (which I had never seen before then, where I live). The regular magnetic pole reversal of the sun. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-suns-magnetic-poles-are-vanishing 2) GROUND-TO-HEART: the continuous magnetic pole shift across my lifetime: https://www.earth.com/news/magnetic-north-pole-is-moving-faster-than-ever-as-it-races-toward-russia/ Related to it is this particular anomaly: https://www.sciencealert.com/nasa-is-watching-a-vast-growing-anomaly-in-earths-magnetic-field It is as one heart core, though divided. https://www.sciencealert.com/mysterious-anomaly-weakening-earth-s-magnetic-field-seems-to-be-splitting-into-two As we are so often as well. Split. The space for two semi-distinct energies to bleed together rapidly, like an invitation to a welcome opening, or a wound. I cannot help but find it to be beautiful while also being a necessary acceleration. My Self from mid-late 2019 reminded me that I (/we) had to stop flipping up and down between different segregated halves and selves, like an hourglass, turning it over and over again. It is this same type of cycle ending reflected everywhere. Late 2019. There is so much noise and distortion in the ether, including the sound of a million cacophonous voices and selves, but the will of the core of the Earth rings true and cuts through all. How loud it is for those with ears. Physically, it's mostly business as usual. Causal effects for life on Earth won't be obvious, easy-to-trace ones; it is not in the domain of scientists. Their domain is to observe and gape at it as it is happening, as that is the doctrine of materialistic empiricism. Otherwise, it impacts everything, biologically, psychologically, emotionally, and subtle energies (though magnetic energies are very coarse and "heavy" in both sound and kinesthetic feel for subtle energy, to the point I would not call it such myself). How could it not? https://www.sciencefocus.com/planet-earth/earth-magnetic-field It also cuts through everything else, as these are superseding casual factors which govern all life on Earth. After all, we are the dream of the planet (and vice versa). It's not even our biggest concern when it comes to biological and psychological dysregulation and entropy either.

Time's up. It's time to no longer treat this life like a trial run.

I have no disagreements with you, but you're not going to find a childfree/ anti-natalism to be a popular stance anywhere, except within those types of communities. Personally, I would not wish for a child to inherit half or even one-fifth of what I've struggled with over the course of my lifetime. Much of it starts with inherited conditions, sensitivities, or vulnerabilities. Not in this world, even if I have so much I could share. Of course, this is not how it usually works anyway. The things parents are most preoccupied with helping their children avoid are often no-issue to their children, and then that parental preoccupation becomes a blind spot. This can be dealt with by dealing with reality as it truly is as openly and honestly as possible, and not making everything about your own preoccupations and anxieties. I am looking forward to being an aunt though.

Ok, name a time when there was currency but no paid sex... This has been done before. A number of Polynesian societies were not so precious about sex, nor did they fetishize it. People still coupled up, most often stayed coupled up (to my knowledge), and had kids. Believe it or not, men still wanted to be around women.

My overall impression is that people don't want to hear you talk about it, even if it's a human experience that needs to be processed and made sense of just like any other. Also, there is a stupid taboo against calling yourself beautiful, even if it's other people who decided that you were in the first place. They want the power to build you up and rip you down at their discretion. You used to see a similar type of behaviour in tabloid magazines in the 2000s with people crucifying female celebrities and pop stars. The paps were like wolves back then. Like shut up, be pretty, and be of use to other people. But surely anyone with any sense and experience sees how disposable they are. From my perspective -- I don't make money or receive other material benefits from my appearance, so I don't see why I ought to be grateful for it, just because it's something other people covet and I myself used to covet. If all I wanted was the simple validation of being affirmed constantly, that wore off a long time ago. I grew up, I got older, and the attention hasn't stopped. But I don't have a hole in me that needs constant filling with the attention and approval of strangers and acquaintances for any reason at all. I'm quite whole enough, thank you. Sure, I have the human desire to be seen, admired, and appreciated, even for my looks. Within reason though. People project onto you a lot, especially some men. They think that just because THEY would milk it for all it's worth that all (i.e. to use it like a weapon or in a sociopathic way) therefore most women would. I have never seen evidence of this being truth. As far as I'm concerned, other people made these rules, not me, They have their complexes about it, and sometimes I've had my own. Sometimes there is no overlap.

I guess it depends on what your 'beauty features' are, but this is what I've found works. At work: Dress as androgynously as possible without looking sloppy. If you have curves, make sure you disguise them. Don't wear clothes that are too tight but also don't wear clothes which are too baggy; it just makes it more obvious. Don't wear turtlenecks if you have boobs lol. Don't wear makeup, or keep it to a bare minimum. Don't do too much with your hair. In general, don't be flashy with anything. If you have a face that is considered conventionally attractive enough, people still might think you're pretty without makeup, but you'll be less threatening. In the presence of women, either ignore the men entirely or do the bare minimum of politeness, especially if someone's partner or someone they're interested in is there. Make it clear that you're not competing and not interested in it. If you're outside: Resting bitch face goes a long way. Wear a resting bitch face so much that you start to wonder if this is, actually, in fact, just your normal expression. Dress eccentrically. I don't mean like "manic pixie dreamgirl" quirky cute, I mean like "old bag lady that collects 200-year-old musty books and also cats" eccentric. Confuse people with your outfit so they don't get distracted by your face. Look expensive, as it will make you look significantly less approachable. Best paired with a resting bitch face and an attitude. Though this might backfire and you'll get another type of guy you probably don't want... As lame as this is (because lots of men do not take a woman's "no" or lack of interest seriously) -- have a man with you who looks like he doesn't take shit. Or better yet, go move to a city where no one approaches strangers. If you think this all sounds like a massive pain in the ass, you are correct. It is. Someone might STILL hate you anyway.

After a few years of finding it unsufferably high maintenance, I've slowly become a convert to the traditional (raw) cast iron pan. The main advantages: It tends to be much better for anything where you need to develop a crust or sear. Anything where you have to bake it, including starting on the stovetop first. E.g. a casserole. Again, much better crust. It lasts forever. E.g. my mom has a cast iron wok she bought before I was born, and I'm probably going to inherit it lol. Once you've preheated it (which is helpful if you multi-task), it cooks everything really quick. Eggs cook in 15 seconds, no joke. After a while, you get used to the whole seasoning and cleaning process, and it becomes second nature.

Not all seed oils are created equally though.

Yea, it is stupid. I think it was probably an American thing? I've never heard about this being an issue in Europe. Ironically, one of the earliest American movie stars/ sex symbols was Asian (Sessue Hayakwa). Silent film era. He was made a sex symbol by American white women in the 1910s/early 1920s, though I don't think that was the intent of whoever cast him as a "dangerous foreign villain" in movies lol. Growing up, I had no idea who he was when he was younger, but I watched "Bridge over the River Kwai" (1957) with my parents. This dude was a like a bonafide Asian Jock too. It seems like everything fell off after this due to the "yellow peril" in America, and ever since then, it's been laundromat owners, dweebs, or martial artists. Martial artists are cool though.

To my awareness, what you're describing originated and peaked the most strongly in the early 2010s, especially with the use of "woke" in a nonsarcastic, non-ironic way (i.e. these days you hear it used more to insult people rather than hearing people use it as a positive self-identifier). I was an undergrad when this peaked. Well, most of these people were young adults and probably not much older than their mid-thirties, even back in the 2010s. The people who hold onto it the longest and the hardest, and go into it the deepest, are those with the most to lose if they lose their grip. It's power. It represents survival, and they believe they are fighting for their right to take up space, and exist and speak freely. It's understandable, right? About 15 years ago, when I was the most plugged into these type of communities, I concluded that it is a combination of the following things: oppressed people want to oppress people (but want the power to control the language around it, to define it as non-oppression in every sense). Invalidated people want the power to invalidate. The use of it is often very blunt and overt and not subtle at all. People tend to not be realistic about the effects of such strategies long term on both individuals and communities, and many don't care. I am talking about the most vocal, most aggressive people. It's talk or be talked over. the obsession with surface-level things (i.e. "virtue signalling") is first about some combination of fitting into and arbitrating social dynamics in a group. Even if it doesn't actually start out that way and people truly do pursue social activism in good faith, it often devolves into this. Why do conservative people so often need a boogeyman? If there isn't one in sight, they might just make one. And if there is one, why not some embellishment here and there? In my grandpa's generation, it was the Red Scare, the commies, and those hippie university kids. My dad sometimes dryly brings up that most of those progressive hippie kids of his generation (the ones with the long hair that did anti-war protests about Vietnam) graduated, put on the suits, and became corporate CEOs who couldn't give a damn less about their children and grandchildren's generation, whether it was about the environment we'd have to live in or our comparative lack of economic prospects. AKA. Those were the boomers. In my great grandfather's generation, it was the left-leaning, actually communist intellectuals, artists, and philosophers. (Communism used to mean something different back then lol, as it seems to every 20 years or so.)

Sorry, what's stupid?

He has self-identified before as having Asperger's, which is a label that no longer exists in the latest DSM (RIP). Gotta scrub out those Nazi roots.

Never heard of the schizophrenia thing before, is that speculative or diagnosed?

Eliott Rodger had a strong racial inferiority complex about his looks, which is something that people often don't factor in when they talk about him, especially when this first happened. At least some people are talking about it now though. He was half East Asian/ Half white. (It's all there in his manifesto.) I am biased toward that sort of look as I'm half Chinese/ white myself, but that attitude/ personality though... Not sure if his mother was a self-hating Chinese woman and/or if his father was racist in any way, but this tends to have disastrous results on the self-esteem of their children. Eurasian boys and men learn to hate the Asian in themselves (internalizing that East Asian men are unmanly/ sexually undesirable), as he did. It's extremely sad, really. On top of that, coming from two or more cultures, especially ones with very established identities that do not easily reconcile with each other -- it can feel like you're being pulled apart in different directions from the inside, and often we feel we belong nowhere. Factoring in your upbringing and where you grew up (especially if it was predominantly white or East Asian, if you're Eurasian), it can be a very isolating and destabilizing experience. It's worth noting that this happened before there was an uptick of Asian and half-Asian men in media and movies like "Crazy Rich Asians", so there really was an "Asian underrepresentation" and Asian men did still tend to get typecasted as dweeby/ unsexual/ unattractive.