eos_nyxia

Interesting, thanks for sharing! Are you generally sensitive with sleep or was this routine unusually overstimulating? Also, how close to sleep do you finish your last set? I've been curious about this sort of routine for the last 10ish years, but I didn't have the time, energy levels, or persistence for it back then. I have actually heard of people doing this type of thing for pistol squats or other callisthenics, but also sometimes for kettlebell and other weight lifting exercises, though it's usually more like 3-6 sets spread out throughout the day. I've heard that it's a good way to build strength very quickly because you rarely get fatigued enough to have to take whole days off for muscle recovery and DOMs, though I imagine long-term fatigue must build up anyway, just at a slower rate.

So it's been a month; how did this experiment go?

This is the answer. Although OP is from Lebanon, aren't there a decent number of people with light eyes and even people with natural dark blonde hair? Depending on his colouring, he might very much be white-passing. ...which doesn't mean very much, because I think a lot of very visibly mixed-race people here in metropolitan Canada/the US (including myself in this category) are often considered white-passing.

I mean to be fair, Gal's acting is like: The clips I saw from Snow White weren't much better lol. It's not exactly motivating to pay money to watch even if I didn't care about her politics at all.

This is so, so painfully last decade... Good song though.

...but did they keep the goofy-ass dialogue and camera panning?

@Av2521 What specifically isn't working out about your hometown?

It could be the Christian fundie homeschooling. It doesn't help, haha.

I mean, there is a point to this, even though the speculations about what pre-agricultural life was like tend to be riddled with unchecked utopian fantasy. But you're right. We're not well-equipped emotionally or spiritually to work at unfulfilling labour which arguably serves no higher purpose in a highly regimented and bureaucratic way. Social isolation and disconnection that is built into our modern lifestyles is a serious issue and it seems to only be getting worse. And it's true that by default, we lived more fully and freely. But take a look around, more and more people are finally starting to direct the anger where it is more appropriate, at the parasitically wealthy and greedy who take and do not give back in proportion to what they've claimed for themselves. There is no balance there. More importantly, there is the drive to do something about it, even if it's only changing the way you live your life and the way you speak about it. Great, so now what do you do about the things that deep down you don't feel like you fully deserve? On one hand, there is the obvious entitlement of thinking: I deserve sex; it's a basic need; it should be easily available whenever I want it. On the other hand, deep down, do you really feel like you deserve it? If you don't, then you will probably hate the woman giving it to you freely and also hate yourself as well. Funny how people can feel both ways.

This is good for absolutely no one. You are comparing two unlike things; why not compare a hypothetical "average woman" with an "average man"? Like, do you really think it's easier being a highly intelligent woman? (By whatever normal metrics that intelligence is measured by these days). If you're considered conventionally attractive enough, people will overlook the weirdness and the psychological baggage that often comes with it, but that can only go so far. In a similar way that people will overlook sociopathy as well, but it's not a great thing lol. I mean, getting sex and being loved isn't a reward for just existing and being an intelligent woman either, but it's not about that, is it? Yes, subpar and emotionally unstimulating sex, which in many cases, is worse than none at all. Just a reminder that the female sex bears more risks for having sex, including assault (sexual and otherwise) and pregnancy.

I think I spent... ...about 10 years watching people who said they need me, go ahead and live life, not really needing me. Which is insane, of course. Insane on my part for my compulsive watching and struggling to let go, insane that I got attached to people who really would never really fit into my actual life one way or another, and insane that I took them seriously, and kind of gross that I was flattered because I thought it would ever actually mean anything that would last in any form. (Because only worthwhile things survive the crunch of time.) It's insane that I got as angry as I did, when at least directing more of my anger to my family or aspects of the world at large would have made more logical sense, though the anger was equally useless in a practical sense. Clearly, they did not understand the difference between impulse and desire, and acquiring perspective which inevitably, often to my personal irritation, will be theirs one way or another. But this acquiring of perspective is not a personal process, and you do not need me at all. That is to say, I do not wish to be directly involved, understood, or seen in any way because of the colossal nature of my failure to be seen in the most important, essential ways. There was never a need to associate one with the other. No. I held out for the people who I thought would show up that I would never meet. I made that choice knowing the risks to myself and what kind of position I was in prior to 2019. So it is. The failed experiment. But for everything that has failed at a personal level, for the amount of emotional damage it has caused me, there is about 200 generations worth of compiled knowledge and experience, sitting and waiting, disorganized and mostly untapped. Truly, an eye (or some other body part of mine) in exchange for knowledge, greater perception, and insight. The question is: do I wish to do anything with it all? Or do I go with the "easy" life, relaxation and complete anonymity. Would I be happier if I disappeared, never to be found again, like I always wanted to growing up? God, let everyone else do their work and take the credit for what they think comes to them freely and from nowhere specific and no one specific, what do I care? Erase me; I don't care. I know how to live in this seat. Both are very much my right. And either way, the work gets done. I made my essential sacrifice prior to 2019 and I don't actually have to directly IRL get involved with anything or anyone, if that's what I actually one. What has been injected into the collective consciousness cannot be reversed because of the sheer weight of it. But I have to choose something and commit to it fully, or else waste my own time and energy facilitating. There is no sense in incrementally committing to the idea of doing more while entertaining the idea of having a public face, all while harboring my attachment to the option that I can just cut off all ties and leave whenever the fuck I want.

In these handful of years of writing here, I've taught myself an incorrect way to speak and to think. It was only supposed to be a trial run anyway. And really, what else left is there to purge? What did that all do for myself anyway? I've struggled with where to go from here. Most importantly, the silent Will must match the spoken one and in both tangible and visible actions. It was a failed experiment I held onto for far too long, at least on a personal level, to be looking for people. Specific people. You just need to do what you need to do, and then the people come along, or they don't. No need to hold onto any of them or seek them out, let alone hope they'll take the appropriate actions.

One of my better qualities is that I know when to keep my mouth shut, and to what end it produces.

The premise of this thread is a bit of a mess. I mean, if you're only attracted to the most vulnerable, girlish, "hooking" qualities and expressions of femininity, and that is all femininity is to you because it is all you're willing to let it mean, then that is what you get? Congrats, you made your own echo chamber. And your superficiality and lack of breadth and development in your personal expression are a match for theirs.

I was never too into his comedy, but I guess Bill Burr has evolved to become the voice of reason now, lol. All of the bleeting about "human shields" and Israelis shamelessly and unselfconsciously trying to pass off that logic as Logic with a capital L broke my brain post October 7th. It very much has the energy of: