Sincerity

@niko123 Hit me up when you’re by Warsaw sometime 🤙 Actualized Poland stronk

It’s probably the case that rural Western Europe is in better condition than rural Poland. Very possible. I haven’t been to rural Western Europe much. In terms of rural Poland - I do have experience (eg. my greater family lives in a small city in Warmia-Mazury and I’ve been going there always since I was a child) and it’s not terrible, but also I’d never ever want to live there. Like yeah, you do meet hobos (menele) and chavs (dresy) of course, but maybe that’s the charm hehehe.

You have a right to your incorrect opinion 😜 just kidding. I didn’t like Wroclaw that much. I thought I would, but when I got there my dream of living there for a while vanished. Warsaw is just superior to me. Especially if you live near a metro station.

Living in Warsaw is heaven. I love this city so much, in many ways moving to Western Europe would be a downgrade. I’m insanely privileged to live here. And Western Europe is generally a bit overrated (still great tho). Everything has its pros and cons.

Yup. Very vivid.

Amazing value. Thanks for making this so explicit! About death: yeah, it's funny to me how "safe" the belief is that when you die, the world just goes on. People genuinely believe that. It takes a lot of courage to go so deep into fear of death and face the death of EVERYTHING. Related: it's funny that when people think about what they will miss in their death, they don't think about eg. colour, birds, flowers. They most often think about missing their close ones because they think the 'specific beings' are special to the dream. Well, newsflash. Colour, birds and flowers can be special to the dream as well. People really take DEATH for granted.

Oldest joke in the book haha. Tits were my childhood bird. I love tits.

There’s truth to that. I agree.

Sorry to hear that you relapsed. Best of luck to you.

You should probably keep taking the medicine. I just read in a post of yours that you were diagnosed: All the love to you.

@integration journey Obsidian is free.

I usually listen to eg. ocean sounds, cave sounds, wind, calm stream, forest, rain, etc.. Not music per se. Here’s the last thing I listened to: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5KgaKh2oZeEpeO72Zawept?si=e6ZbW4wrShqt8YYPc5nVyw

Still quieter than my ex singing or listening to her podcasts in the kitchen, adjacent to my room.

Throwback to this absolutely horrendous prediction: Vaush was saying the same thing, from what I remember.

I sense that the next huge chapter for me energetically is becoming a professional creator. A professional. A creator. A warrior in expression. A teacher. On a mission. Focused. Resilient. Prepared for resistance. Strategic. Determined. Wanting it with all my heart. For its own sake. This is a life-long plan. I anticipate it will take a lot of work and time to get started, since I'm far from being that right now. Change is hard. There will be setbacks. Basically, it will be a long process, since it's my whole life we're talking about. For context, this isn't something I just thought about today. I've been becoming more conscious of this for months now. And I've been vaguely sensing it for years. I simply see that this is where my development lies. What I'm lacking & what I want in my dreams. I get the feeling that everything in my life so far has been me just catching up. I'm especially thinking about my developments in love. I've discovered love early in my life and it's been guiding me since that time. I've been growing in that love and looking at these results so far, they are absolutely beautiful. I'm not done by any means, I still have a lot of development there to go through, but I feel like it's just happening automatically - again, me just catching up. Just growing in love constantly without trying much. By results I mean: me becoming much more loving towards other people and myself. Having a love at the center of me that is guiding my actions to a large extent. The breakup with my ex in the last months has been a good test of this - I've been passing this test lovingly. Me fixing relationships with my parents and making them more loving. Me having a good love-based relationship with my best friend. But most importantly, being ever more loving towards myself - letting things happen, loving what is, not forcing things desperately, appreciating life more. Following my highest viable energy in the moment is love-based - the main lesson from my 1-2 year pursuit of understanding the energy domain. I feel a lot more love, joy and peace in life than before. I'm much confident in my actions and things I say when they're love-based. Basically, I'm happier - and again, I'm still not done by any means. There's still more love to discover in myself. But it's being done "automatically". So the love is quite natural to me. It feels like something I know (and absolutely love). But the professional creator thing is foreign. I don't know it. And so I'm very interested to go in that direction. The breakup with my ex this year has felt to me like a transition. Starting on this new road now. Venturing into the unknown. Really starting living - no longer just catching up. Discovering new things about myself. I've been realizing that maybe I don't necessarily want a wife and kids, for example. These lessons of love, commitment, providing yet again. Maybe it's boring to me. Maybe I want a more solitary, autonomous life and being a life-long creator on a divine mission. Maybe I want to sacrifice everything for endless creating and growth of consciousness and understanding. Feels exciting. * * * * * I recommend the books The War of Art and Do The Work by Steven Pressfield. His descriptions of what it takes to be a professional (+ the workings of Resistance and the overall creative process) have inspired me a lot. Also, for clarity, I've been doing some tangible things already regarding professional creation. But I don't want to share now. The gist is: I already have a sense of what I want to be doing. I've been experimenting quite a bit in the last months and more. All it takes now is do the work, be the professional I want to be. It's just difficult as fuck! But it's alright. I'll get there eventually.