Sincerity

Don't know what you mean. Lol. Peterson is right. Dragons are real. And so is Santa Claus.

@PurpleTree Stay open to symbology and the reality of "mind stuff".

@PurpleTree It wasn't a fjallraven. I live in the city. I only listed 3 examples, there were countless others of foxes in the most unexpected places on shopwindows, walls, etc. - and it was always when I felt an intuitive hunch to go a certain way even when there wasn't much point to it. Besides, the most important aspect of the quest was the visions and development of the plot (and my character) along the way. You believe what you want.

This must be part of Leo's path. There's probably some archetype/energy being born in him, represented by a crocodile. Focus on yourself. YOU don't have to give a shit about crocodiles. It's none of your business. In the last year I had a 8 month long arc around the fox. I constantly had visions about the fox with a full-on plot to them (which I was taking active part in) which was finally resolved in late July for me. Now I don't have the visions anymore. I was also being led to foxes all the time in reality, when on autopilot - God damn fox street, fox graffiti on the building wall, fox on a woman's backpack, etc... and seeing real foxes in my neighbourhood three times in that period, for the first time in 8 years of me living where I lived. Previously I also had a "quest" with the snake. And my gf is on a quest right now with the spider. These quests are, in my experience, very important to your growth as an energetic being. It's a journey. And something new is born/discovered along the way. So again, focus on YOURSELF. Or, in other words... don't be a parrot.

Burn, burn my life! Hahahahaha! Oh Kali, my beloved.

Introduction I want to share my current understanding of mind, the dynamics of it and what I am in relation to it. Your comments (educated & relating to the topic) would be greatly appreciated. Context I have not taken psychedelics for a year now. My understanding has changed a lot in this year and it has been born from observing and interacting with myself. I haven't really heard people talk about this understanding I will lay out here. I haven't been watching or reading any spiritual teachings or anything of that kind lately (they disgust me). The Understanding In my mind there is an interplay of forces/energies/selves. A full, inner universe with each force/energy/self being separate and unique. This universe cannot be called a society or hivemind (terms I contemplated) because they are not cohesive, they don't work in unison, they just ARE. These energies are mostly very primal and non-complex, representing mostly single sides/characteristics of what you could perhaps call the inner symbolic/archetypal universe. There's (probably) an infinity of them. They cannot be killed, all of them are alive always, but some are significantly more active at times while others are more asleep. Every thought is a work of some energy. In fact my claim is you could have a vision of an energy behind ANY thought. Or perhaps this is unique to me and I'm more visionary than others, I dunno - but I can take any thought and visually see an "entity" behind it of some sort. Some of them are dark and devilish, some are more angelic, some are relatively normal. This is not just a theory, I can replicate this almost always in my mind. Or, if you're not particularly visionary, if you want to get a sense of them you can pick a particular energy and intent to have a dialogue with them audibly in the mind (which I very often do). You will sense their distinctness, otherness, their boundaries, ego. What happens in this inner universe dictates what you do in reality. Behind every action is an energy. And the energy that is currently strongest is what entirely dominates the current moment. Two energies cannot dominate the now at the same time. The winner energy takes it all - in the moment. Anything you're currently doing - YOU did NOT "choose" that. An energy arose that felt an attraction to do what you're doing. You perhaps hesitated for a while (a resisting energy of some sort was stronger) or not (you are open to this energy and it can take you over almost whenever) and once this energy took you, you did and are now doing what you're doing (reading this). YOU DO NOT CHOOSE ACTIONS. You are open to energies or resist them. And you certainly do NOT choose energies. Even a "choice" to choose some other energy would be an energy itself. And also a resistance to an energy would be an arising energy itself. Any thought/choice/action is ALWAYS an energy and you basically have no power over them, you can't change them. So basically we're helpless victims, right? We just can't do shit, we are doomed and life sucks, correct? No. See, this is where it gets a bit weird and paradoxical, at least for me. If you believe you have no power (which is kinda true), you will be overtaken with energies of helplessness, victimhood and that's what you will become in life. BUT if you believe you DO have power you will be more engaged with energies of personal responsibility, taking action, better self-esteem, all that good stuff. So in a sense if you believe you do have power it becomes true. And if you believe you don't - that becomes true. So actually it doesn't matter what you believe and there is no "objective" truth about you. Or, thinking about this a bit differently, what you believe BECOMES the objective truth about you. Belief could be described as an unconscious blockage/partial openness to some energy. Once you see the unconsciousness/unwholeness of an openness (see that it actually doesn't matter and you could believe the opposite and IT WOULD BE JUST AS TRUE), it disappears and that energy doesn't overtake you anymore. See, in order for an energy to overtake you, you have to believe in it! Or, differently: you have to be unconsciously clinging to one part and reject the opposite. ALL BELIEF IS PARTIAL. ALL BELIEF IS UNCONSCIOUS. And once the belief becomes conscious/you accept its second just-as-true side, it is not a belief anymore. Unconsciousness ceases to be with consciousness. An avenue/blockage for an energy is closed. So this is why you get raped by energies of helplessness, unworthiness, negativity, idiotic pride, fear, shame, all that stuff. Your beliefs are shit. And these shit beliefs let in shit energies. You are unconscious of it. But it doesn't have to be this way. How to fix beliefs and stop being susceptible to unwanted energies? It's quite simple actually. You just have to convince yourself otherwise, or rather: see fully the other side of the argument. You might remember I mentioned having a dialogue with energies before. This is an excellent way to reconcile "your" side (some energy) and the other side (some other energy) that IS inside of you, but you just haven't been letting in. Here's what I usually do: I sit with a notebook and write at the top: I AM LISTENING. Then very quickly some thoughts arise that would just LOVE to be questioned, to be killed, given attention. And so I talk to myself for an hour or two. At the beginning I ask the energy for its name and I ask to see it (that's not necessary though). Almost always these conversations reconcile something in me and my behaviour in actual reality CHANGES, because my beliefs have been changed. The energies have reconciled, or perhaps you could say they disappeared when they merged with their opposites. So what is mind? I guess I could describe it as an inner universe. The mind is not a place for these energies, the mind IS these energies - once it becomes them. The mind is all of them combined and could be seen as an entity. What this entity does in the end is the result of what energy was strongest in the given moment. What this entity does is what others consider "you" doing. But then... what is "you"? In a sense you are the god of this inner universe. You can observe it. You are the attention from above, crazily intertwined with this full inner universe. You can see it as "you", yet know that you're not of it! In a weird way, it feels like you can intervene in that inner universe's outcome at times. The main technique for this would be prayer. But how does the action of prayer come about? It must be some energy which you don't control begging to come through. So you and this universe are this one intertwined organism. With no agency, yet also with all the agency. Influenceable, yet impossible to be directly influenced. Changing, yet unchangeable. Whole, yet expanding. Conclusion & Ending Words My understanding is obviously very incomplete. I don't understand reality. I don't know what's in front of me. I am not really self-aware. But that will come I'm sure. One day, one conversation, one attentive glance at a time... just wanted to share this out. I have this funny thought: in the same way there's a universe in me and I'm sort of above it (yet it), what if I am also a single energy part of another infinite universe with a supreme god observing that universe. I wonder, would that god even be aware of me, or would they be unconscious of me in the same way I am so unconscious of energies in me? Curious to think about haha. I'm very happy to hear your related & educated feedback/comments. But if you don't have anything valuable to comment and you want to just be a bullshitter/clown/know-it-all mental masturbator, please spare me, I don't want to hear from you. I will delete your useless posts. Thanks in advance.

Please observe the provocative/hostile energy you're bringing to your posts which worsens the atmosphere on the forum. There's no need for that. Too much of it will be met with warning points, especially if directed towards specific people/groups.

@MrTruf Namecalling is strictly not allowed on this forum ("typical weasel"). Please keep that in mind.

Very nice. Great work! Haha. I had my share of I am God awakenings for 2 years in the "good old days" when I was taking psychedelics. Of course I don't remember anymore. I'm kidding with the "good old days" of course. It could be described as more exciting then, but now I feel I'm more mature and building understanding "from the ground up". Letting go of psychedelics for now was a conscious choice. But there will come a time when they'll return to my life. That's very nice to hear, I really appreciate it. My heart is breaking! I tried to provide value to the forum with other posts of mine in the past but I decided to hide most of them a while ago (trip reports, "awakened insights/messages", etc). Then I especially wanted to show the emotional difficulty of this work and be an example there. Lots of love to you as well. @integration journey Thank you! ❤️

This + a genuine "selfish" ambition/desire for growth. I want to be a larger and more complex energetic being.

I remember a long time ago Leo mentioned opening with "I hate Facebook!". I still think about this fucking line to this day and laugh to myself Same energy

As (I think) should be obvious to those doing this work, there are enormous similarities between how your mind functions and how society as a whole functions. A particularly interesting thing I've been contemplating is the similarity between the deep workings of the mind and the deep state (covert actions and secret true motivations of those in power on higher level in government, intelligence agencies, corporations as well). Regular people are not ready for the government's ugliness to be transparent. And that's because they are not ready to face the ugliness in THEMSELVES! Of course facing this supposed "ugliness" is the only way to true beauty and clean government. But I think fact to the matter is that it's just too scary for now. The way to solve the corruption of the state would to be to face OURSELVES. But who's down for that? No, let's just blame the evil people in government. I work at a corporation and I feel its corruption getting to me. In truth SO MUCH depends on interpersonal relations and not so much on the "official established processes". You can wipe your ass with the processes if you have enough friendly faces up top. You can skip some things which are unskippable for others. You just have it easier. And I myself am engaging with this corruption, eg. by giving preferential treatment to partners in my work which have better relations with me, by prioritizing their cases over others' cases for example. I am supposed to be biased towards MY team, MY partners and I am rewarded for it. And I just KNOW that's exactly how it works on higher levels as well. It's so obvious. I AM corrupt. Why shouldn't I be? Why should I be truthful in a corporation if A) I don't care that much about it and B) I am rewarded for being corrupt - with appreciation, better position, etc? Hahaha! That's EVERYONE'S reasons for corruption. How funny how that works. But besides the corruption I'd just like to mention how interesting it is that there are these covert actions and motivations from the government, intelligence agencies we know nothing about. And that's exactly what's happening in our minds as well! In my mind there are deep energies I am unconscious of which are basically running my life for the most part. The same is almost sure to be for you. You're not above it - if you don't see it in yourself, it's much more likely you're UNCONSCIOUS of it. In contrast to that not being present there in you. After you study and observe yourself, you will see the same dynamics in other people and groups, sociology, politics, history , etc... You understand the outside by understanding the inside.

@Arthogaan Good stuff Agree! @Keryo Koffa Thanks for your input - I found it valuable! Very cool that you brought up the connections, it's nice to hear what my insights remind others of. I looked into Jung a bit in the past, Leo obviously, read a bit about NDEs - not familiar with the other ones though. And the quote is good! @Davino You most likely couldn't "interfere" even if you wanted to Can we really interfere with others? By which I mean A) spawning something (an energy) in them that wasn't there before or killing an energy that already is? No. Or perhaps B) pulling up/diminishing an energy that is already there? Sounds more doable, but to me also no. In my view energetic change is ALWAYS voluntary. No one can ACTUALLY influence you. If you have an entirely different understanding, by all means, feel free to share it (regarding the dynamics of mind) and I'll def consider it. If it sparks a fear in me - good. That means there's something there worth looking into. But besides that, I REALLY appreciate your 2 main points regarding me contemplating on attention and the I. Thanks a lot for the input, rings true for sure. There is a hole in my understanding regarding these "two" and if I'm to be honest, the understanding of I/attention in my original post above was more of a brief afterthought comparing to the rest - which you correctly noticed. So good catch - it shows to me your advice is coming from observation/experience and deeper insight. A man who's doing the work. Very grateful for you being so respectful and providing value. Have a nice day as well!

@theleelajoker Bravo. A man who observes himself. It is evident from your words. Huge respect for you! Perfect. You have good observation skills. I especially agree with the second sentence. In regard to translation into desire and intention - hmm, I never considered the split into desire and intention, I currently just see it as energy --> openness / blockage --> action or no action. Awesome. Great insights! I definitely agree with the first point and with the second point as well, though I think I actually haven't integrated the second one that much. I see it's true though. I have to look into it more. Cool perspective! This I definitely don't embody yet but I know you're right. I want to embody this and most likely will soon since I'm starting martial arts training this week, still though, will require more conversations and actions, changes in behaviour, etc.. This is very important for me to integrate. Thanks a lot for sharing your wisdom. Would love to get a beer with you sometime.

@Schizophonia I meant if you don't see it in yourself, you're probably unconscious of it. Seeing it outside is easy (understanding it is not though). I accept my corruption. It's good for me and I welcome it. For now.

@lostingenosmaze I laughed lol. Love some brainrot. This felt more like an early YT poop though.

How it feels to make a significant life change depending on single email/text messages/conversations knowing you really want to make it but it's still very difficult due to intense fear and societal pressure. I've been having a few of these lately. Having one right now - I'm procrastinating on sending the email lol. I have more in front of me as well.

I'm grateful for my life. For where I am right now, my apartment, my girlfriend, my energy system, my current job, my character, other people in my life. Sex is awesome too. Before I never even dreamed of the amazing sex I have with my girlfriend right now. It is otherworldly. My partner is the perfect woman for me and I really, really love her. She's a beautiful, gentle, emotional light pink flower. And I am the man for her. I am so happy.

So no other comments? C'mon! I'm curious what you think, whether you agree or fundamentally disagree with something here, etc.

@Arthogaan 😘

You can probably count on one hand the number of turquoise individuals here. I don't know who they are, I don't have anyone particular in my mind, but I am sure as hell this number is very low. The number of yellow people here is larger of course, but also still not THAT substantial. This is an utter joke. I will never understand how people overestimate themselves so much, thinking they have reached their peaks. I, after starting self-development work in my youth and doing it for 8 years now, having had some mystical experiences and all that stuff, would consider myself green-orange AT BEST. And this is not because I'm slow, this growth rate is good and normal and I'm just not deluding myself about my actual stage. And people who talk about CORAL should have their mouths shut with permanent glue. No one here has the slighest idea what coral actually entails (including me ofc).

Please, try to keep your replies consistent with the thread. If you want to have personal conversations you have the PM option - or if you don't, perhaps ping someone in their journal. 8 entirely unrelated posts have been hidden from this thread.

Definitely text

I read from beginning to end. Wow, what a ride! You inspire me.

This went too far. We will not tolerate "we need Hitler" talking points regarding ANY groups of people. This is an antithesis of conscious politics. A reminder to everyone that we're enforcing some basic quality standards here. Let's try to keep our discussions decent and conscious. Posts like this will be met with warning points.