Sincerity

Death is not just cultural brainwashing. It's predominantly fear. Consider that an animal fears death too. An animal isn't brainwashed. You'd be scared of death even if You didn't have a concept of it in your mind. Fear is an infinitely intelligent mechanism which is there for great reason. Technically there isn't anything to fear, but fear still happens and no amount of logic or grasping the significance of an insight will make You go around it. To conquer death is to conquer fear. And You do it by overcoming fear. And by awakening. But before You awaken there will be walls of fear blocking You so they need to be gone through first. I think the more fear You overcome, the more You are primed for awakening (it's one factor).

Forget-me-not. My second favourite flower. Right now I have pink cloves on my desk. They're lovely. Tulips are gorgeous too. My favourite flower. I'm not a fan of roses. I think they're overrated. Receiving flowers as a boy is okay. My family knows I love them and my sister bought me some on my last birthday. I was delighted. Two weeks ago I came back from a trip and a flower from my mom was awaiting on my desk. I hadn't gotten that nice of a surprise in a while. Often times I wish certain things were different about me. I wish I read more. I wish I was more productive and hard-working. I wish I looked different. I wish I was more consistent. But it's all okay in the end. And it's fine to feel down sometimes. Ultimately I like who I am... I think I am beautiful. ... Thank You for all of it.

Short introduction. Weird things have been happening to me in the last 2 weeks. My ability to see through my thoughts, fears and lies I've been telling myself has improved greatly. I had a deep sober awakening unlike ever before with self-inquiry/contemplation alone. My baseline state has changed. I've been contemplating and meditating for hours in the last days with AMAZING results and without much of effort. But the most interesting thing to me is how fear has been throwing itself at me. Since my consciousness has increased 2 weeks ago, fears regarding various things have been testing me non stop. Can I let go of this? Can I let go of that? Could I accept this scenario? Can I see through this fear/illusion? Would I have the strength to continue living if this thing happened? I've been overcoming so many fears by seeing them for what they are and new ones keep popping every time. It's like I'm screaming NOOOOOO YOU CAN'T LET GO, WHAT ABOUT THIS, WHAT ABOUT THAT? NOOOOOO YOU'RE GONNA DIE STOPPPPP!!!! It's funny actually, it's like a game of how much I can accept. I'll also add that besides just acceptance I've also been actually DOING certain things that previously were completely impossible and out of reach for me, which has been very thrilling and freeing, but also scary obviously So anyways today I sat down in a cafe for 2,5 hours and really contemplated what is fear, existentially. Below are my 60+ suggestions. Each of them looks at fear from a different angle, many are similar to each other. I propose You contemplate for yourself what fear is from scratch, or at least think deeply why I wrote the things I wrote. If You have any questions about any of them I can elaborate. Hope this is of some use to You. Fear is resistance. Fear is resistance to God/Truth. Fear is resistance to Myself. Fear is immaturity. Fear is foolishness. Fear is asleepness. Fear is confusion. Fear is attachment. Fear is finitude. Fear is rejection of God. Fear is unacceptance. Fear is duality. Fear is weakness. Fear is limitedness. Fear is falsehood. Fear is all talk and no bite. Fear is clinging. Fear is will to survive. Fear is illusion. Fear is evil. Fear is selfishness. Fear is egotism. Fear is defense of illusions. Fear is blockage. Fear is anguish. Fear is insanity. Fear is imbalance. Fear is roughness. Fear is nightmares. Fear is monsters under the bed. Fear is identity. Fear is fighting. Fear is fighting for control. Fear is fighting for stability. Fear is fighting for security. Fear is fighting for status quo. Fear is maintenance of boundaries. Fear is divison. Fear is lack of perspective. Fear is tension. Fear is contraction. Fear is uneasyness. Fear is difficulty. Fear is pressure. Fear is perturbation. Fear is agitation. Fear is disturbance. Fear is repression. Fear is not understanding. Fear is seeing "danger". Fear is appearances. Fear is imagination. Fear is bias/preference. Fear is fantasy. Fear is images of the past/future. Fear is mental projections. Fear is backlash. Fear is stubbornness. Fear is slavery. Fear is suffering. Fear is the devil. Fear is "me". Some crucial insights to understand the stuff above are that A) You cannot die because You are God, B) There is nothing "real" behind fear, again You literally cannot die and C) If You had absolutely no fear, You'd be completely One as God. Fear is what's holding You back, but why is it so? Why fear anything? Well, it's lack of perspective I guess. I created an additional list of things that are basically fear or stem from fear. This list may not be exhaustive because I mostly focused on the what is fear list, but it may still be useful, so here You go: Shame is fear. Hate is fear. Evil is fear. Distraction is fear. Getting lost in fantasies is fear. Indecisiveness is fear. Attachment is fear. Procrastination is fear. Tension is fear. Lashing out is fear. Fighting is fear. Holding grudges is fear. Avoidance is fear. Emotional blockage is fear. Unforgiveness is fear. Aggresiveness is fear. Violence is fear. Stagnation is fear. Stress is fear. Denial is fear. Addiction is fear. Numbing myself is fear. Clinging is fear. Nervousness is fear. Paranoia is fear. Lying is fear. Secrecy is fear. Hiding is fear. Concealing is fear. Dishonesty is fear. Insincerity is fear. Fakeness is fear. Not taking responsibility is fear. Limiting beliefs are fear. Inhibitions are fear. Craving is fear. And finally, the absolutely most important thing is to notice and observe fear in your DIRECT EXPERIENCE. Not just think about it intellectually. One great list You can make is answering the question "What do I do when I am scared?". This includes all your centers - physical, mental, emotional, and the sex center. Credits to Vernon Howard for this (May 2000 monthly lesson). Here is my personal list answering this question. I start to panic. I get tense. I get unconscious and get into flight mode. I distract myself with food/content. I talk fast, sometimes with voice trembling, repeating myself. I freeze and halt action for a while. I bite my lips, fingers nervously. I tap my feet or fingers anxiously. I walk endlessly. I walk faster than normal. I feel pressure from all sides, contracting. I beat around the bush, avoid the core issue. I try to get away from the problem. I procrastinate. I overthink, just think and think compulsively. I close off my body (hands crossed, etc.) So that's all. I invite You all to contemplate fear with me. Feel free to comment and share your own observations and insights. Peace!

Keep your mind open.

...And there is no one but You. You're strong, You've made it far. Such a commitment is a great one to make. Good luck with it! ?

@Rahra You are God. ?

I think if You ever have any fear about anything, it's a clear sign You are afraid of death. Don't know if You're scared of dying? Try approaching a woman. Try bungee jumping. Try going out in front of a crowd. Try saying what You really think. Etc. I think when You really dig into fear You'll discover it always feel like You're going to die. At least that's how it feels to me.

Well, I'm just a guy. I can get too confident sometimes, but ultimately I comprehend little. I doubt myself often. Yet I will also trust my understanding more than others, including teachers. There's a balance to strike. Nevertheless, understanding feels very elusive and I'm pretty sure not many people actually comprehend what it is. I'm starting to think it may be because it really is somehow related to consciousness/being (I mean true experiential understanding, not theoretical) but I dunno yet.

Thank You for responding! I must further contemplate what is understanding because I'm struggling to wrap my mind around it.

Love this. Kudos to You @Noahsteelers34.

I'd no longer say there's anything false about fear. It's a BRILLIANT mechanism which You will never stop encountering. It is what it is. Don't be so sure friend. I call bs on everyone that says they don't fear death. They're lying - mostly to themselves. They didn't face their death deeply enough. Fear literally goes to infinity. It's just that often times You don't feel it and it's not on the surface, so it's easy to delude oneself.

Fear happens when it happens. It's Infinite Intelligence. An utterly ingenious mechanism. And it goes to infinity, for the greatest reason of all - Love.

Thread turned into a trolling fest.

@Leo Gura 1. Do You think the pursuit of understanding is indispensable for higher consciousness/being? How do You think understanding relates to consciousness/being? Greater understanding = greater consciousness? 2. How do You think surrender relates to consciousness/being? Greater surrender = greater consciousness?

Bump. More people might find this thread useful.

Haha... I felt it. I love your posts. ?

@tuku747 Clever. Yes, according to my memory fear is of Love, ultimately. Funny how it turns out...

Please stop trolling him already.

He's just trolling You. It was funny for a while, but please let it go now. That said, I can't see what's on the screenshot because of its aspect ratio. And when I zoom in it's blurred. Maybe instead of long screenshots You could go with a few normal screenshots or just copy and paste the text You wanted to show us.

I'm sick and spent most of today in bed. Lately at times I feel devoid of purpose and meaning. What the hell is the point... Yesterday I watched Leo's poetic description of consciousness video and started questioning whether I really want to do this work. As he said, it is dangerous and there are no guarantees. I fear I'm going to kill myself. I fear fucking up my life. And I fear Infinity, to be honest. I fear being as "careless" as It. I realized I am not serious. And yet there's still some peace in the background that helps me see through confusion and negativity. As long as it's there, I'm still standing. (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

??

@Someone here Dude, You are making so many unfounded claims and assumptions it's appalling. Just admit that You don't know.

Speaking of subforums, I'd make a loose suggestion to merge the Intellectual Stuff subforum with Personal Development (Main).

Today I found out about Conor Neill. I think he's an example of healthy stage orange and I like what he has to say. To me he feels intelligent, considerate, reflective and with a proactive, disciplined, entrepreneurial mindset. He's no sage. He's no yellow thinker. And he is constrained by his stage. But I could still learn a lot from him. I have not deeply integrated healthy orange yet, I figure. "All great writing is rewriting." (editing) "The past is a great teacher if it's well documented." "Are you working towards a life of "no obligations" or towards a life of "fulfilling obligations"?" "The more people that know who you are and what you stand for, the better." (for finding opportunities) https://conorneill.com/2021/12/05/how-to-find-opportunities-increase-your-luck/ --> Great post.