Sincerity

Yes it is. If You want You can check out my report from an LSD trip where it felt like I was seriously gonna die. Since this experience I've been having panic attacks associated with the fear of death. At the same time I've been working on acceptance, deconstructing what death is, confronting fear, etc. Eradicating fear of death is no simple thing. It'll probably take You decades to do that, many many trips and a fuckton of groundwork and integration. Alongside all that You will probably cry so many tears and suffer so much You can't even imagine it. Eventually You might reach Leo's levels of deconstruction and realize that there is literally no death. But this insight has sooo many layers I think. It's not just one realization that there is no death, not ten, maybe even a hundred isn't enough. It goes incredibly deep. Best of luck!

To discover Truth

Maybe so I did have a lot of insights into what is beauty recently. Long story short, I'd say that beauty is literally God. To appreciate is to see the beauty = see God in something. Anything can be seen as beautiful/God because everything is that. Reality is beautiful and so is any "one thing" in reality. And since an insight is a "penetrating mental vision or discernment" or "the sudden act of grasping the inner nature or truth of a situation" (definitions from Leo's blog), an insight is also a recognition of some beauty in reality. To grasp the inner nature or truth is to start seeing more clearly. And clearer seeing = higher recognition of God/beauty/truth, greater consciousness/genuine understanding. So yeah, I think the quality of an insight can be recognized by its perceived beauty. But obviously there's also room for self-deception there so one has gotta be careful. Superb advice man. Thanks! I'm so happy with all of your guys' perspectives and tips.

Nice! Maybe You should pin this post.

I see. The analogy to materialism is eye-opening. From what I notice, I cling to things too much in general. Thank You, I will work on integrating this advice. Oh, that's a good pointer! Thanks! Also, interesting idea with the symbol Might try that Hahahahah There is something really funny about uselessness/impracticality. I think it hides a truth in it. Maybe reality is actually completely useless, trivial and meaningless... and that's what makes it beautiful? Hmm, could be promising

My chatbot is a p*ssy and doesn't want to give a straight answer

Nice, that's good advice. I'm already mostly doing that. Insights like "mind colors everything", "thoughts are immersive", "responsibility is wisdom", "wish the Truth to everyone". Indeed, in simplicity there is power and beauty. Still, there are so many that it's difficult to manage

Nice! It's similar for me. Sometimes I even have profound insights and understanding in my dreams but I forget it when I wake up That's a great point. Thanks for the perspective!

Huh. Do You find that awareness of self-deception gradually makes the mind deceive less and less? Or does it never end and You just get better and better at recognizing it?

Why/how so? What makes You remember this lack of development? If You feel comfortable answering.

?‍♂️ Who said working with psychedelics is enough to wake up? Call what enlightenment? Who said anything is a way to Freedom? Maybe I should clarify that by groundwork/embodiment I don't mean just integrating trips, but mainly doing stuff in everyday life, meditation, right living, mindfulness, contemplation, learning, surrender and letting go, etc. Steering others away from psychedelics is a disservice.

I'm blinded by the lights. Only death will set me free... But first I want to love and embrace living as much as possible. That seems kinda worthwhile.

Nooooo Leo don't bother with this shit! Anything else is more worth your time.

Easy? Anyone could do that? Nah, bro. Of course You must decide that You want to know Truth. But that doesn't exclude using 5-MeO or other substances as tools. I feel like You've got some misguided ideas about psychedelics. I suggest You investigate these beliefs (which You probably got from other people). That's part of what I consider embodiment to be. What I call groundwork You call "deep subtle work". In practice effort is required, because You are not yet capable of effortlessness. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * It all depends how much You want to understand. I'd say that without psychedelics You're missing out.

Hmm. Sounds like my friends might inhabit this stage.

You're only now learning about tier 3? Bruh I myself am comfortably in tier 4 and approaching tier 5 ??

Okay so I just reread my extensive notes on the Susan Cook's EDT model I made over 3 years ago and I'd more or less assess myself like this: I feel like my center of gravity is the Individualist. It resonates with me the most. Still, I have a lot of stuff to do & integrate in the previous stages, especially the Achiever. I haven't achieved nearly enough and I feel like I really need to be more active in the world to further my development. Make shit happen, take much more action and integrate the Achiever's mindset, this way of looking at the world - that's what I feel I'm lacking. My father is basically the Expert and it's a part of me too. Gotta integrate that more and work through that stage's "problems" more. My mom is basically the Diplomat. There's plenty of conformism for me to work through as well. In the past month I sense I've kinda gone forward with my development and licked the more advanced stages. Basically when I read the issues related to these later stages they reminded me of what I've been dealing with lately. But I'm nowhere near integrating them or even knowing what they're really about. I'm happy with my growth. I'm doing good, even though it's hard for me to handle shit quite often.

@BlessedLion @Tyler Robinson

Each day is such a rollercoaster. Every day it's something different. I look at this journal and it doesn't reflect at all what I'm experiencing. Only tiny slivers. But it's okay! It's still fun and I really like what I post here. [link removed] A spontaneous video of myself right now To remind the people who read this shit who's behind the account. You know, being honest. And to put myself more in my journal Nice to see my face hahaha. "Myself"? "My" journal? "My" face? Just reminding myself that I am lost in selfhood. I wonder how much of this forum's population is young men. Like 1/3? It's certainly the most common demographic group here. I'm proud of myself how much contemplation I've done in the past weeks. Even though shit has been difficult I've been introspecting fairly regularly and really diving into how I work. It's satisfying to do this. I enjoy confronting myself, even when it's uncomfortable. Of course I have my limits and I feel a strong need to distract myself (which I'm falling for often) but I'm still going. Today I was at the gym listening to Leo's How to Fall in Love with Life video. Great stuff. I'd like to embody the mindset he has described there. I notice that change is really difficult. Of course theoretically I knew this but like... when I look at everything I've been going through (especially in 2022) and how much suffering, resistance and backlash I've encountered along the way... I have a greater appreciation for this. Change is fucking difficult. So to really embody what Leo has said in that video I'm gonna have to go through a LOT more pain, probably. I asked myself today: Am I willing to change? No, really. Am I seriously willing to change? To be honest, by looking at my experience I find that I would rather stay the same. I am afraid of ACTUAL change. My mom just barged in my room and showed me some album of when I was born and my early years. The illusion is so convincing! Hahahaha! I lost my train of thought completely. Well, whatever. I'll end with this: Lately I've noticed that some things, some videos, some words stick in my mind that I wouldn't expect. One example is the video above. I watched it like a month ago, I've been thinking about it here and there and yesterday at the end of a 3 hour long deep contemplation session it came back to me... and tears poured from my eyes.

Feel into it and accept it? It's not complicated but it is difficult. The paradox is that when You accept yourself, You change.

It's gonna be much harder. But not impossible. (btw, define enlightened) I guess You could say it's like this: psychedelics provide understanding and groundwork provides embodiment. It's kind of theory (but experienced directly) vs practice. Both are important. Psychedelics are AMAZING for showing You what's possible, states You would never be able to access with traditional methods. Also they help open You up, help You temporarily go beyond your fears and attachments, bring stuff to the surface, all that. Without psychedelics your groundwork might be wrong, misguided, uninspired. Without groundwork You are, well, ungrounded. The theory doesn't stick in your mind and make a difference for your everyday life. It doesn't change You on a deep level. In theory You don't need psychedelics but in practice I think You do. If You want to go really far.

Great practical, life-changing insights. Good work! Right now I'm using your mind, thinking about your deepest insights from this trip which are inspiring me and making sense to me. Thanks for bringing your wisdom here my man! Other people's trip reports are fucking goldmines of insight and wisdom, of both practical and existential nature.

Ok, thanks. I'm going to investigate this.

I don't know. "Behind my head" seems like only imagination and concepts. Lately I've confronted my false belief that I as the Source am somewhere behind my eyes. Then I realized I am everywhere (and nowhere in particular). I'm saying this because your example of "perception behind my head" reminds me of my own thinking that I am behind my eyes. That there is something I don't see. I don't think that's the case. I see everything

Oh wow. Okay. Don't know what to tell Ya. Good luck confronting the fear!