Sincerity

@Keryo Koffa Do NOT do any harm to your body. Stop with the delusions and ground yourself. You will not "be taken to a different realm by God". You will not "live by dying". You are delusional, wake up! This is reality speaking! Do NOT let yourself make a grave mistake. This place does NOT promote such a reckless attitude.

I have SO MUCH cool shit saved on Pinterest. You have no idea.

Understanding the dynamics of the energetic world is difficult. I have so much more to learn there. I could write a book about it later in life. Almost everyday I get the distinct sense that I just do NOT live in a physical world. I live in an energetic world. I tell this to people closest to me often, because I'm just so perplexed by it. It's so amazing and mysterious. And I really get the sense that reality in front of me is an illusion, a representation of the energetic world, a manifestation, an excuse in a sense. Understanding energy is very useful to me because I can 1) make better decisions in life knowing what's what. Example #1: I'm about to argue with my partner but I see an energetic choice in front of me and I choose better. Example #2: I have a big decision in life to make. I just have to ask myself what I'm leading myself (or being led) to develop energetically long-term. And the solution is to pursue the wished energetic development. And 2) develop techniques for healing myself and working through things which work, since they're grounded in reality as I understand it. It literally does not matter what is happening in experience. What matters are the energetic decisions.

Why care about what others say? The use of the word was surely popularized by Leo, but the truth behind what's tried to be conveyed stands. Leo did not invent the consciousness of FULLNESS of experience. Fullness mean that this is all that is. A good word, came to me yesterday when trying to look for alternatives to solipsism/openness/aloneness. My ranking of words attempting to describe this truth would be solipsism / fullness > aloneness > oneness. Oneness is last since it does not really clearly imply that experience is full, the one and only.

100% Damn, didn't even know about this. Despicable.

Just ask yourself. Why do you want to feel unique? Use your imagination.

Then create your heaven. Here. You're immature, but you can change. Stop resisting life. Having LIVED is your highest passion. Not having died. Physical death won't accomplish anything. Stop shitposting on an internet forum, stop taking psychedelics, get off the couch and take action. Action that will lead to the betterment of your life right now.

Mainstream yes. Niche not necessarily. Watch some Karsten Runquist to get good new niche movie recommendations or just go on Letterboxd and look around. There's always something worthwhile to watch if you take a bit of time to search. I just finished watching Carol (2015) with my gf. It was interesting, we had many thoughts. https://letterboxd.com/film/carol-2015/

I've been avoiding so long replying to this thread lol... but the above is just not the case. Or at least not what true solipsism is. There's no contrast of "my experience" and "other experience". It's experience, which is the one and only. EXPERIENCE. The end. There is no solipsism. Describing oneself as "a solipsist" is cretinic, perhaps even more so than not a solipsist. And yet solipsism is a good word. Or maybe Oneness or Aloneness would be a better one. Every time I see a solipsism thread I am reminded of this meme: But the text should be "Aww, sweet! A solipsism thread!"

I don't think it's really about the resources, but a genuine will with openness to change. A willingness to die, if you will. Desire alone is not enough, one also has to be open to fundamentally do things differently and be different, which really feels like dying. It's very uncommon for people to want to die. A drug addict will often squander any resources he's given. Whereas a person with a strong will and true openness to possibilities would most likely pull something out of nothing. When there's a TRUE will, there's a way. By true I mean willing to do ANYTHING. A country-level willingness to die is even more unlikely than a single person's I think.

Only the first season was good imo. The fourth one is especially shit. The quips, the understanding of politics and the "smart character" are done in such a stupid way that I can't help but roll my eyes. But I still look forward to seeing the scene of Butcher murdering Homelander in S5.

It seems @QandC 's comment hit a nerve with you. Good! Recognize this as the great opportunity that it is. This is proof where the crux of your ego lies right now. Seeing it is a crucial step to resolve your suffering. Don't neglect it - if you REALLY want to change something in your life, you HAVE to confront your deepest held beliefs. Your wish to "die and become God" indeed is misguided. I do empathize with it, because I had the same misunderstanding before. You believe you have to kill yourself to become one with "God". Well, don't you think that if you believe this is the way, you will be unconsciously directing yourself to suffering forever, like you've done up to this point? And don't you think that recognizing this belief as incorrect would be VERY hard for you, because you already spent so much time acting on it? And you'd feel like an idiot when you see that it was all for "nothing"? But it's NOT for nothing. THIS is the EXACT way to recognize the value of living and change attitude. Without going through this path, you aren't able to see it. So you don't have to feel stupid, truly. Going through such misunderstanding and suffering is the price for true insight and behaviour change. As I mentioned before, the way to end your suffering is to start to want to LIVE. The way to God is through active life, not through killing yourself. You think your current belief is leading you to God, but in fact it's spiraling you further to hell. I mean, look at your direction. You're only feeling worse. The way to God does NOT have to feel like that, but you believe it does because that's what you've been doing so far. You have to change course. And, importantly, you need to stop hoping for an ultimate awakening after all your suffering. It will not happen. This is an illusion. It is part of your wish to "die and become God" - you believe you have to kill yourself/suffer so that you can reach this idea of God, the "ultimate thing"... But maybe that "ultimate thing" was a delusion all along and you have to start living in reality. See what is in front of you. Maybe you could find something beautiful in that. Wouldn't that be a nice lesson after this journey of suffering you've taken?

Who the hell knows but you? All depends on what is resonating with you now. What you feel you want to internalize. Don't just read the most popular self-help books as recommended by other people. Look for what YOU want. It doesn't even have to be a self-help book, it can be something else (a biography, non fiction books, whatever). Use Google. "Books on clear communication". "Books on becoming more productive". "Biographies of successful inventors". You can use ChatGPT. "I want to become a clearer communicator. Recommend to me the best books for that." Or even better: just go to a bookstore, look through books and find what resonates.

"I like myself as a person" but "I hate being alive in this human life"... How about we get clearer on what it is that you hate, which is weaving your never-ending suffering. 1) Reality in front of you, experience --> No. I'm certain you don't give a fuck about what is actually happening - speaking from experience. All suffering is spun in the mind and it is always referring TO the mind. Your feelings are never actually referring to reality (good to contemplate). 2) A general idea of yourself as a person --> No. Alright. Ideas and fantasies are cool, but what about actual you? 3) A general idea of God --> No. Okay. What about actual God? 4) "This human life with its immense suffering" --> Supposedly this. But what is this actually referring to? I guarantee it's not reality/experience - again, if you observe you can notice that you're never actually hating reality which is real life. You're hating YOURSELF. But what are YOU? Really think about it. What is it that you hate? You say you hate human life, but what is "human life"? What are you referring to? Is it not YOU? You're confused. You don't even realize you hate yourself. Hatred is not just hating the idea of yourself as a person. You don't hate the idea, but you hate YOURSELF! Your idea of yourself is detached from the reality of you, same as your idea of God from actual God. You like the idea, but hate the actual thing... Seriously, think about it. What do you hate? And what are you? See above. You like the idea of God as some emptiness or whatnot, but hate yourself and disregard actual God right in front of you. "I want to die so that I don't have to suffer"... Brother. You'll stop suffering once you start to want to LIVE. By hating yourself, resisting and wanting to die you are only INCREASING your sense of self. Resistance is the ultimate "fuck you" to everything and closing yourself in your shell, away from God, peace, happiness. As long as you want to die, you will be suffering. You are getting exactly what you want. You're using your intention for this. HATING YOURSELF. Decide to change your intention NOW, if you REALLY want to LIVE IN PEACE. I know it's a leap, but you can make it. As above. Your intention is bringing you exactly what is supposed to bring. You want this and you're getting it. So become clear on your intention and motivations. And then change if you want. "Immediate relief"... yeah. The time to change this attitude is now. Until you don't stop banging your head against the wall, you will be banging your head against the wall. Why not stop now, instead of after 100 more hits? The time is NOW. End your suffering NOW. THIS lifetime, not a future one. You have what it takes. Your "problem" is purely spiritual. Start NOW and you'll be better of in no time. Get clear on your intention and you'll change so fast it'll be miraculous. In fact, you'll feel the effects immediately. --- I see myself in you. I went through some dark fucked-up periods where I had no hope and was also hating EVERYTHING. I had my suicide walk to a bridge. I destroyed items from my past, all my notebooks, photos, etc.. I fantasized about stabbing myself all the time. You have a sincere heart. I believe in change. And I believe in you. #NoMoreLifetimes

Hello. I'll be blunt in hopes that this can wake you up a bit. Listen to yourself. What are you even saying? "I hate myself" and "I want to become one with God". This is LITERALLY a contradiction. Pure misunderstanding. Really see this - YOU ARE DELUDED. You do NOT want to become one with God, BECAUSE YOU HATE YOURSELF. "I fucking hate this stupid human life". No, no you don't. What you hate is yourself. You don't give a shit about life (reality), you hardly ever really look at it, you only care about you. Or, more precisely, you care about hating yourself. Stop kidding yourself that you want God. Your hatred is so great that this couldn't be further from the truth. The thing you think you want is exactly the thing you're fiercely rejecting to the point of wanting to kill yourself. You have a vague fantasy of this "God" you dream of which is just that - a fantasy. You are delusional. The actual God you are rejecting with all your might. And no tripping will help you, because you are trying to use it to escape, therefore further spinning in your resistance. I guarantee you 100% psychedelics won't help you long-term because you're going to use them with the intent of "dying", escaping yourself. Really, you SHOULD give it up. It will NOT work. And you will not really kill yourself because you want what is happening. See: That's the crux of your issue right there. You want all of this happening. On YOUR terms. Which is exactly what you're getting and why you're suffering. Nothing you try will work because you're clinging fiercely and only using everything to resist further. The more you act on that intent, the more you suffer. But you can stop. --- If you want some relief, I'd suggest contemplating what I said above. Be honest with yourself for once. Your motivations are delusional, you think you want God but you're just fooling yourself. You only want you. How about you stop trying to erase yourself? Because the more you try, the more you there is to erase. And suicide is an idiotic "solution". Do you seriously think you can "reset" your energetic system with killing yourself physically? Like, does this make sense to you? You REALLY believe this won't just happen again if you end it like that? Listen man, I get you. I really do. I was going through this shit as well. Long periods, more than once. See this for example, from barely 3 months ago: When you're honest with yourself about the truth of you and your motivations, some knots should be untied. Really, you're just completely misunderstanding yourself. And I get that. I wish you well. I recommend talking to yourself. Split yourself into two - you who hates yourself vs you who'd like to live in peace, harmony, with God. And come to an understanding through dialogue. Best written in a journal, or spoken out loud and recorded. It's fun, try it. I developed the technique on my own. The two halves should both change somehow, it's not just about changing the "bad one". Talk to yourself with patience and an intent for compromise. And if there is genuine understanding, there appears the space for genuine behaviour change. I also recommend just having the intent to live in peace. I am 100% sure you never actually wished for peace. You only wished to escape, resist suffering and fight yourself, therefore exacerbating the problem due to your intention being fucked. If you really want freedom, wish for it, out of a pure heart. Cry out for it: If this resonates, you can DM me to talk further. I'm open to you and I wish you well. Good luck. With love, Sincerity