Sanguine

Let's team up? I've managed to get up to a max of 1,5 month. Drop me a dm if you're up for it

Step 1: just think, fuck it and have fun, be weird. 2: just think, everybody likes it to get compliments, hit on or if a random person starts a chat. It's an ego buster. So nothing can go actually wrong.

I've eliminated a lot of things in the meantime to just get the load of my plate, which worked well. ?gym: still going steady 4x p/w. I'm getting bigger aswell ?? ?Eating habits: eating more healthy. A bit different though. ?Porn: stayed off it for 1,5 month. Craving got me to watch some images though. ?Burnout: lot of headaches Business: good, when i'm able to be there (employees need more attention). ?General mind status: pretty good ?Business: better than ever, flowy Feeling more peace with it aswell. Random addition: Still having some trouble detaching from my ex.

It's a lot at the moment. Battling through trauma, dealing with a burnout, a (short but intense) relationship that ended and keeping my business running. And offcourse the constant struggle with addictive tendencies, of which my main escape is porn. gym: steadily going 2 or 3 times a week (win) Eating habits: overeating most of the times Porn: manageable, but like to eliminate. Burnout: lot of headaches Business: good, when i'm able to be there (employees need more attention). all the rest; feels like a lot. current status: it feels like it's going off the rails. I've got to get on top of things. Made a checklist for the upcoming week to get my days in check. Everyday i want to exercise, do IF, meditate and not watch porn. I don't know if i should try this, because is another thing in my bucket. But it feels better than nothing. I hope it will fix my energy levels and mindfullness a bit.

That's a seperate thing for me. You can be alpha and be a crappy lying douchebag and in that case. Not high value. But the whole definition of high value is dependent on the viewer. One person (or better: one set of traits) can be highly "valuable" to one and less valuable to another.

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Nice one

It's more about what you think of valuable yourself when looking for someone. But here would be my list: Truly confident, at peace with himself (and his feminine side) Can take care of himself, no pushover & financially stable Funny Intelligent (IQ/EQ) Kind, empathetic Open mindedness Good looking or charismatic Obviously loyal, honest, etc. But those are basic traits you should have as a human. I now realize these are (almost) exactly the same as what i regard as highly valuable in a woman. But for me I like a stronger woman who is more in tough with her masculine side. Maybe that's different for others.

Checking in a couple times a year isnt harmfull. If you feel the need now, just check ut. Of you have ut again in a week, you may want to do some soul searching, meditate on the feeling (try the focusing technique by gendlin) or write out your thoughts and feelings a couple of times.

Don't doubt yourself, try to get out of your head and into your body/emotions regarding woman and intimacy. If you feel like it. Do it. Just not with anybody.. Especially your first time experience is a very special occasion and can be an awesome moment or crap. And if you have a connection with a person who actually cares for you. Go with the flow. If they see you as a body with a dick, fuck them (and figuratively :), so don't actually fuck them). After that, An occasional meaningless hookup is fine if you feel like It. And if it's enough, you'll notice. If you long for connection to be there before sex, just see where connection happens. Take it as you go.. I'm over 30 and I can tell you. Good sex with a girl you have a connection with can be fucking mind blowing and invigorating it doesnt drain your life energy.

Don't worry about the jerking off for now. Every day isnt healthy but fuck that, your young. For now, porn is your main enemy. And just feel lucky. PIED (porn induced erectile dysfunction) is a fucking scary monster who is probably coming for you. The only way to get him away is to quit porn. My advice. Try to quit porn. Keep on the fapping but without digital material. Just your mind. If you master that. Then you can take the next step. And if you can only last a week. Once a week is a lot better than once a day. So if that progress sticks your on the right track my man. I've said it to others aswell, but the book your brain on porn is a great insight for this.

Porn addiction is real.. It's basically meth in its natural form and because your "high" (orgasm) isn't as long as a meth high, you can keep in craving it. Or delay the high with edging. Read the book 'your brain on porn' it wil explain A LOT.

Where do i find "high value" women? You guys got some ideas? I got this far? Yoga, Business events (in sectors women are highly represented), high class parties (i don't like basic money driven people though)? Some context: I'm 33, have no hard time to "get with girls", live in a city where there is an abundance of women, had some steady relationships, but... I'm looking for the one. Beautifull, charming, high IQ an EQ. 27 y/o or older. These random "girls" on the street (a lot of girls study in this place) don't cut it for me. Any tips?

agree on this one and a lot of others. The thing which is crazy, crazy important: A very, very high locus of control and the willingness to adjust yourself to anything. No excuses why something doesnt work or that it's because someone didnt do it. You ALWAYS could have done something better or different that would have made it work. Keep your focus internal, what could you have done to make it work? Keep those incremental improvements during the years and you'll kill it. (disclaimer: i'm a business coach and this single aspect is where i see a lot of people missing the point)

The combination of the tips is spot on! I'm basically in the right place, just have to change some stuff. I'm dancing (and teaching) salsa, bachata & kizomba for some years now, am in a pretty good place with my business and don't really want to change my personality since i'm happy with my genuine confidence and sincerity. I just have to be more open/alert for these women to even spot them at events and have the balls to spot them. (normally encounters just happen everywhere, but with these "normal" woman who don't cut it for me on the long run). So basically take matters into my own hands. oh yeah, and heal some trauma which is limiting me to actually be able to have the feeling of safety while attaching to someone.. To reply on some comments: @aurum my list is actually a lot longer. But there's no way to use that subset and try to find those in a specific place. @Leo Gura approaching is the secret sauce where i'm dropping the ball i think. @Jannes i've made a critical typo there. I don't like basic money driven people. @petar8p got that covered :). But good to remind me of it. It's right in front of me and i don't do anything with it.. the current list: Yoga events, charity events, acting class, book seminars. Thanks for the reply's!

Basically, I'm fixing my health again and it feels good to take some steps, but the general more healthy of postive feelings still need to come. - I'm in my second week of lifting weights again. - week 6 of no porn, first week of nofap (best decision ever, atm it's getting tougher to keep it up) - 1 month in on fixing my sleep rhythm. This one is hell, but I'm starting to have some energy again.

What are you doing in the evening? I'm having trouble with what to do with my nights when I get home from work. I'm too active, hard to come down from activity, my mind stays very active, is hard to do calming stuff and I'm having way to much screen time. What do you guys do? But to be more specific: what's your mindset? What's your frame/vibe when or before you do something calming? Did you have any challenges in this? How did you overcome them?

Pretty essential for my opinion on this: what's your age?

08:00 strictly: Get up (don't snooze) Check my phone Writing (or sitting & staring if I don't feel like it) with some tea and breakfast Check my schedule/plan my day (saying to. Myself, OK let's get this thing going) Shower & off to work Improvements: Would like to add some meditation or good vibes intention/focus to this, since I'm getting a bit pessimistic lately. Shouldn't check my phone in bed. But the occasional whatsapp message to reply to feels good (I don't use insta/fb).

You also have these blowup cushion thingies. I think I'll just ask my physician or my yoga school. I'll let you guys know what they say and if the contraption is working for me if I buy it

Recently i was doing yoga. When the instructor kind of pulled on my head at the end (we were in savasana) and it felt really good. I was pretty tired and suddenly the energy was restored in my body. I don't know if she did some reiki witch stuff or it was the position/pull/space in my neck/spine. Soooo, i'm googling these neck hammock things and Cervical traction devices. Any of you guys have experience with these? Thoughts? Found some more serious articles about it, which make it sound proper. But the google search on products give me kind of tell-sell vibe

I understand the struggle man. Finding the right person, with which you connect with, and is skilled, is hard. Not even to talk about the waiting lists (in my country anyway). First of all. The method that they are using is VERY important if the therapy will work for you. So my tips: 1. Pick a therapy method (or combinations) the method is key. so look up for therapy options that fit your problem and your style. If you're very mind orientated, stay away from that and focus on bodily focused therapy (Somatic Experiencing for example). Get a good view of the methods and see what feels right. 2. google these kinds of therapists. In my opinion, independent, nun-funded therapists are way better (since they don't need the reimbursement from the social security companies to get clients) 3. browse through there sites, articles and other content. 4. Schedule acquantance calls with 5. 5. Do a 1:1 with the ones you like. Just see it as how girls are on tinder: swiping, googling if he's nog crazy, chatting a bit to see if he's got any substance, going on some dates, choose the one which you connect with. Oh yeah, in regards to price. Fuck it. Good therapy is priceless. And a good therapist can get you somewhere in 1 hour where another one needs three. Hope this helps. Best of luck!

I'm a huge fan of not excluding nofap fully on the long run. But keeping the noporn at a 100%. It does sounds like a flatline though. Some people flatline for 3 to 6 months (i know WTF right!?) Also checkin with yourself if you have substitute behaviour like watching bikini chicks on insta for example. To get more into this and possibly understand yourself better in this phase: read "Your Brain on Porn".

Sounds like PIED to me (or a mental thing anyway) This would be my way to go: 1. First go for the quick fix: viagra/kamagra. See if you get hard. If that works, you have a small fix for the meantime. Than you can have a couple of good sessions and cut back on the dose. But you know its probably a mental/hormone thing (because you can get hard). If the viagra doesnt work, in my opinion, you're absolutely sure it's a mental thing (trust me, i know). 2. Rule out any hormone, cholestoral and other levels which might have something to do with it. 2. Try to fix depression and mental troubles: you probably need to to that anyway, so thats killing 2 birds with one stone. 3. Go fully committed on no porn and preferably fap once every 2 weeks max. (read "your brain on porn" aswell) 4. Ease of the sex pressure with your girl. Agree to just enjoy eachother, might aswell ask her if she's ok if you need some time figuring things out. Enjoy eachother. Leave the whole "my dick should work" behind. Just do massages and stuff like that. Best of luck, DM me if you want some more info.

Don't worry man. If you're family isnt abusive/toxic, this is probably just some puberty remnants, and your system trying to find it's own way in life. Try to communicate through this stuff and keep the connection.