Saarah

@mystic I first try to identify what's causing the stress specifically and focus on what's in my power to help it For example, if I was really nervous about a presentation I'd notice maybe I'm feeling really shy about talking in front of people, then to help that is focus my attention on enjoying the presentation itself and not thinking about the whole audience thing, I'd focus on presenting it so I understand it and get really into it, naturally the audience would then feel more at ease and understand it better too If there's an exam I haven't revised for as much and I'm stressed, instead of thinking about being perfect on all the test I just focus on how much I can get out there from what I do already know, and I end up feeling more comfortable about the whole thing In the book 7 habits of highly effective people, it mentions how to focus on your circle of influence rather than your circle of concern, only that which you have control over, rather than every issue that just enters your awareness, when you do that, your circle of influence ends up increasing, so this just reminded me of what I just said above

@Augustin our ego doesn't like it when we fail because it wants to look good, to present a favourable self-image to other people, you mentioned how people are saying its horrible, so now that other people are attacking your self image, you feel vulnerable and guilty about not having success Just knowing this can help you realise that it doesn't matter if your ego is hurt or if people think you're a failure, you just have to think about what is important, and that means to try again, remember that it's ok to fail and that's just your ego that is giving you those bad feelings L'ego est blessé, c'est rien

Intention: (see post 1) Addiction: Junk food Meditation method: Mindfulness meditation for 1 hour *************** Day 5: 22/04/16 Levels of motivation upon waking: very motivated, listened to podcasts in morning including addiction one Meditation time (complete?): 11:50am-12-50pm and again for 15 minutes some time around 3pm Feelings during and after meditation: Very happy that I did the meditation earlier on in the day after waking up, was very happy to do it and changed technique to mindfulness to learn to be more with the present, the first half was great but the second half had me getting lost in thought more and itching to check the time although i was more ok with just sitting there than the first few days of meditation. During the day before I was going to pick up a book, I thought I'd fit in a quick 15 minute meditation just to get used to not jumping from doing one thing to another but starting to create meditation breaks between the activities I do so I don't get lost in them all Thoughts/struggles throughout the day: No struggles, today I was less stuffed than I have been the past few days but there's still a long way to go Triggers for addiction: / ***************

@Galyna Thats great! I'm trying to get that feeling more of just appreciating, sometimes I find it to be such a chore, I've lost my appetite in a way, which is my completely different reason for waiting for the existential crisis video! I can't get that feeling of vigour for being alive, aside from my short-sighted motives I'm trying to find what's beyond all this constructed, shallow meaning Alan Watts has said that life is like a song and a dance, the point isn't to get to the last part, the point is just to simply sing or dance or more directly to just live, at first I found that great and I still do theoretically, but I can't feel the joy in my bones anymore, I'm just at the moment trying to be more mindful and do more 'being' through meditation

@Nickfury7 Keep going with the doing nothing, the more you do the closer you come to burning out all the fire of your inner demons! The more you become comfortable with nothing through constant exposure, the easier it will be to not need a distraction from it, you will be fulfilled without the porn

@Cossta Probably the healthy amount of stress that usually goes into anything big that you're pursuing but I think our culture has the wrong idea about busy-ness and constantly doing and moving fast paced which is the tone I get from the "stressful to be successful" saying. People seem to think the more that you do and constantly saying yes and constantly filling your schedule is going to get you somewhere, but in the end you just end up depleted. Working harder instead of smarter doesn't help with success. Having a certain amount of focused energy which is effective will yield you big results, and giving yourself space the rest of the time will be good for your health When people advise us on time management they will often say the best strategy is to focus on the most important and scrap the rest of the fluff that isn't helping you as much, it's by constantly doing and stressing that we end up feeling like we have no time and that's just because we don't think carefully about the quality of what we fill our time up with, we just shove everything in there so we feel like we're living I guess this also links to the addiction video, about how we're addicted things like success and money and work because we're running away from our existential emptiness, so again we must feel stressed out with lots to do otherwise we'll have to face... The quiet! ?

@Eli I think it's important to do both, the thing about the conducting the emotions one, is that it's about ensuring you don't resist emotions or pretend they're not there, from that place is when you can start thinking more positive thoughts, so both methods can work together to reach the same end goal, I'd say the positive thinking one is a lower level advice compared to the conducting emotions one, but i think they can also be used for different situations. The conducting emotions one is for strong feelings that you can't just change up, whereas thinking positive is for smaller emotions, compare the situation for example where someone cut you off in traffic and to top it off there's a massive queue and you're so mad, that situation would be useful to do the positive thinking method whereby you'd say to yourself, "at least I have time to listen to this podcast now" etc. Whereas if you had strong emotions and we're dealing with something much larger like a breakup, I'd say first you allow all your feelings to come through, sit with them, be mindful of them which is the 'passive' approach, as Alan Watts says "there are no wrong feelings" it's about making sure you don't bottle them up, but once you'd conducted and accepted your emotions, you'd then be able to move on from that place to start taking positive action in your thinking like "I have so much free time now, I get to go out and meet new people" etc. There are many things that may seem contradictory or unable to work together with all the videos sometimes, but they do actually work together as life is like that and issues often exist at multiple levels and dimensions, see any piece of advice of Leo's that is at loggerheads as tackling two different dimensions of the same problem hope that helps!

- firstly remember that this growth is a life long thing, there's no such thing as one end goal for all this work, enjoying the process is important, you will see results if you work for them - secondly, all those contradictory videos are a part of the paradoxes of personal development, can you agree that while we want to grow it's important to at the same time accept ourselves for who we are right now? Both are important. The thing about the death is that for the enlightened person death is no longer a reality, so he'll tell you how death isn't real, but most if not all of us watching him are not enlightened, we have egos, therefore thinking about death is a very real thing - Finally I think if you're losing hope over time after watching the videos it may be because you're not doing much action, watching the videos isn't enough, you should also look to other material such as through books, and another point is the idea about homeostasis, we are very resistant to change, and we're set in our ways, so over time we gradually fall back into old patterns, it's normal but you have to keep putting in the work to move to a new level and then a new level. And finally, know that sometimes it's difficult to tell that we've changed, you may be a more calm person or a less critical person or a more open person, and you may not have even realised the subtle effects. It's like growing older, you don't realise that you're taller from one day to the next, but then after 10 years you look back and realise!

@Rosie Dairy is certainly a big evil in the acne world One of the causes for acne is hormones. With dairy first you have the stress hormones and antibiotics etc that affect a cow and goes into the milk, then you have the lactose, and sugar causes insulin levels to spike and so again a hormonal issue, and that's also why refined carbs and gluten is said to be avoided due to insulin and sugar levels I'd say wait about a couple months with dairy to see the extent to which dairy affects it in proportion to other food groups I don't actually know if I'm allergic to it but it must definitely be causing mine, I just gave up on cheese altogether because the flavour just reminds me of all the rubbish that makes my skin flare up and it kind of put me off I used to think cheese was an addiction for me cos I loved it so much, but it's been surprisingly easy to avoid for some reason, probably just the being put off part

Intention: (see post 1) Addiction: Junk food Meditation method: Do Nothing for 1 hour a day *************** Day 4: 21/04/16 Levels of motivation upon waking: Felt I'll easily avoid junk, once again knew I'd be restless with distractions, listened to Leo's addiction video 3 times since last post Meditation time (complete?): 1 hour from 9:50pm to 10:50pm Feelings during and after meditation: Day 4 meditation brought a considerable shift I'm glad to say! Where yesterday it felt like I was 'putting up' with the hour, today I was so much more open to it and just present without being annoyed, I was actually quite content, I was just grateful for it because of my day full of stuffing, it felt like it was finally able to move onto what I'd been running from all day in a positive manner just accepting it, and trying to learn to love it, during that time at some points I thought of how peaceful this is and how I should do more of it, life feels less stressful and hurried from this place, I also had a question during it where is asked 'What is this purpose of doing nothing, what am I trying to get from sitting here like this, if I spent my time like this a lot what would it be doing for me, what's my aim?' (OK, maybe more than one question) Thoughts/struggles throughout the day: I've found it very easy to avoid the sugary snacks, the only thing is I've noticed how my other distractions are increasing and especially video games has gone up about 3-fold, all that Mario kart got me hearing a ringing sound in my ear at one point during meditation of a red shell chasing me! I was procrastinating all day on uni work so I understand why, but I felt for every distraction someone chucked a bucket of mud on me, for tomorrow I decided I'm going to plan what I'm going to focus my energies on, and any time I'm not doing those things I'm just going to sit with nothing, if this goes right it could potentially mean hours of meditation in one day, something unimaginable for me a few days ago, even yesterday Triggers for addiction: / *************** I remember once a few years ago looking for tips on how to get yourself to do something, someone said you should stop and do nothing and after 10 seconds you'll end up just going and doing the thing At the time I thought this was just because by stopping you would end up weighing up your priorities But now I realise it works because we're so unwilling to sit with nothing, it's so painful to face it that we'd just give up on that and would rather do the work we were avoiding cos it's better than nothing It's just using our weakness to make us productive! It's nice to find a new level of insights into something you previously came across, it's like this quote

@actualized1 Think of those kind of books (fantasy) as entertainment, like tv or video games... Just like those things non-fiction can provide benefits like how video games improve coordination, non-fiction improves empathy But these effects are not the primary result of such medium, that would be entertainment So to answer your question I'd say that yes you can mix it with self development books, but only to the extent that would be just sufficient enough to not distract you from your bigger life purpose and personal development related goals, as with any other form of entertainment/distraction we all are involved in hope that helps, getting the balance between fun time and serious time is a tricky one, it depends largely on your commitment and goals etc

@zasa joey every person in life decides what they want to follow The people on this forum find Leo's messages as insights to a preferred way of living and looking at life you don't have to, if you want to go back to the everyday ego society, you can do that, it's just about questioning your values and asking what you want from life... What do you want? And where therefore should you consequently be looking? Is it this forum or elsewhere?

Thank for sharing! I think it's useful to know these because it helps explain reasons behind any dysfunctional behaviours or difficulties you may have As long as you don't beat yourself up about having those weaknesses or start labelling yourself with them to the point that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy when you could've moved out of those issues

You can care about and love people, but on the hero's journey you have to learn to move on even if it is so I care about my family, I can't imagine having to leave my mum behind and who would support her, and i'd miss my cousins and grandparents too, but I know they're not going to accept my atheism so I've had to make the decision to leave them even though i'd miss them a lot No one is forever anyway Being inauthentic by making sacrifices while not showing your true feelings is going to prevent you from growing in your life, this kind of attitude can translate into other areas of your life too which over the long term will have you making a series of other decisions in which you'll also allow yourself to be eaten up from inside! And to that end, will come your end...

@step1 I actually feel ok during the rainy times, it can feel nice sometimes But I've been experiencing the nice uk weather too and it definitely helps me to wake up and it feels nice looking outside, but I still feel the same levels of motivation for example I think with the negative connotations that rain gets, people just condition themselves to dislike it, I have tried to find enjoyment out of it, such as thinking about how cosy it feels because the clouds are close up to the earth, it's like we're in a little bubble of a world and I actually end up feeling closer to all the people and everything going on around me

I wish I died while I was falling in mid air in front of a beautiful sunset and landscape whilst laughing at the joy of it all either that, or something really simple like sitting comfortably with a hot cup of tea and just being and appreciating

@Frank B Why are you addicted to stuff? It's because you're avoiding emptiness, the emptiness that is experienced when you sit and do nothing What is meditation? Meditation is sitting with nothingness So, meditation is used to stop you from 'doing' things, it's an attempt to get you to face emptiness, because when you face emptiness, you stop running away to do stuff, which is your addictive behaviours. If you learn about enlightenment, you'll see this is very practical, because it gets to deeper truths about human nature and consciousness, all the other methods which seem practical on the surface, they are surface level solutions, so in the end they're not as practical as you think, they're like sticker plaster solutions, which one's more practical now?

@Magnifico This is perfect! Because I found an excellent tool from a book that helps you find exactly that. It gave me a really good insight into what my preferences are, for example, I found out that I am a 'creative' and 'practical' type, so the job I do should involve those skills as it's what I enjoy the most, and I found this to be true I was planning on making a thread to help people who would like to know the same thing and putting up the tool, however, the book is in the library so I have to make the thread when I have access to the book again, I will try doing it sometime soon The structure of the test is very well designed, so I wanted to share it!

@DirtbagDakota 1) I don't know if the social approval thing is an addiction, it's more a result of the way the ego lies to preserve its self-image, if you've watched the How You Lie video, basically you want approval to make yourself feel better about who you are, you can't take it when someone criticises you because this breaks down your self-image and leaves you vulnerable, we all experience this to some degree, what you must practice is an emotionally challenging practice, and that is brutal honesty in day to day life, no fake smiling, people pleasing, you say what's on your mind, if you don't like someone's joke, then don't laugh, you just stare at them blankly... i'd recommend watching the video! 2) You can become grounded in your values by first of all stating them which you already do through affirmations. But then practicing them, whether it's through your work, relationships, hobbies etc. For example, if one of your values was to be grateful for everything, you could start by simply being mindful of everything you do and appreciating the moment, and appreciating people by honouring their time etc. 3) Even though judging things as good or bad is self-sabotaging, it doesn't mean you can't appreciate things, whenever you say something is good or bad, you don't have to instantly think shit I said the wrong thing, I judged, you just have to be mindful of the fact that you judged something, that is oftentimes enough to yield you results. When it comes to appreciating yourself, it's about accepting yourself as you are, therefore you are not saying i'm good, you are saying i'm happy with all that I am, that is accepting reality, if you were judging yourself as good or bad, you'd be saying well this is perfect but this isn't and I need to change that... you're suspending judgement by appreciating who you are right now.

@zasa joey Sometimes the people we think cared about us the most, reveal themselves to be the people who care the least You have to look at it this way, is temporary loneliness worse, is your own company that bad, compared to receiving constant negativity that pushes you down? You're on this forum because you care about growth and improving your life, now is your chance to prove that you can take the emotionally challenging option in pursuit of a better life for yourself I understand it's difficult to leave people due to the conflict and loneliness, just start gradually leaning back from them, it's not the most honest way to go about it, but it's something, soon they may lose interest in your company and won't even ask about you, you can also make new friends meanwhile, so leaving them becomes easier for you Do you want to look back when you're older and regret how you allowed it to carry on instead of being courageous? It's like when I got teased by kids at school sometimes, I look back and wish i'd stood up for myself

He needs to do a birthday special video! Wearing a party hat! Happy birthday Leo!

Intention: (see post 1) Addiction: Junk food Meditation method: Do Nothing for 1 hour a day *************** Day 3: 20/04/16 Levels of motivation upon waking: I felt optimistic and again knew I'd be able to avoid junk food, however I could also tell from the get go this was going to be a day full of me 'stuffing' myself with random distractions Meditation time (complete?): 1 hour complete, starting half 11pm Feelings during and after meditation: Once I got started I was surprisingly calm and awake but near the end got tired due to the late time. To me avoiding junk food hasn't been so difficult after all, instead I found the meditating difficult, it feels like an endurance sport where I'm putting in so much effort to not give up. I wish I could just genuinely feel the joys of nothing, in theory it sounds peaceful but in practice there's so much work to do. At one point I got emotional with happiness of how I'm pursuing this instead of going back to my mediocre everyday life, and of not backing down in the face of ever so painful emotionally challenging discipline. Thoughts/struggles throughout the day: No struggles, I just noticed though lately I've been filling my time with certain distractions, playing video games more frequently for example, I feel like this is the time I should do the meditation, forcing myself to sit facing the void when I least want to. I re-listened to the addiction video yesterday but forgot to today, but I will tomorrow again just to reinforce the message lots of times Triggers for addiction: nothing ***************

@GodelEscherBach When Leo was comparing how ego is the devil for example, he's demonstrating how the pre-rationalists bring ideas of post-rationalism (i.e. enlightenment ideals) down to their level, the pre-rationalists confuse post-rationalist ideas with religion and form a religion out of it, which is not what post-rationalism is And post-rationalists also lump pre and post rationalism together because they both seem like spiritual non-tangible stuff, though they're different in actuality He has a video about religion vs. science which talks about this

@Parki The map is not the territory in the sense that whatever framework of mind you use to look at the world is a perception i.e. a map, and so it's not representing reality i.e. the territory For example, a pre-rationalist vs a rationalist, they have different beliefs about reality, they hold two different maps, of the same territory or reality

@Huz88 I think once you're enlightened you abolish the idea of self-esteem altogether and yes it's made redundant, having a sense of esteem is a game of the ego