cactus

I have experienced ego death some times through psyhcedelics. It was the most beautiful experiences I have ever had in my life. I did it one time with my girlfriend and we became unison with eachother, like we didnt know who we were but the love we felt for eachother was eternal. This have made me certain that this is my number one thing I will pursue in my life. But I also have some concerns: I read an article about a girl in my country. She had been attending many meditation retreats, and after a vacation where she attended one she came home and kept on meditating 3-6 hours every day while she was writing her masters degree. She said that she advanced in her meditation practice until she became enlightened. What happened afterwards was that she couldnt complete her degree, and the only thing she did all day long was that she was staring into a wall. She wasnt judgemental about the situation and she did describe is as an eternal happiness but her ego was completely gone and she couldnt do anything. Her family became very scared for her and she decided that she didnt want to live like it anymore and she started to do some electronic shock therapy to the brain that snapped her out of it. I have read Jed Mckenna's book and it completely resonated with me the way he lives his life. I am highliy financially indepentent to the degree where I have more than enough money to live my lifetime without working and what I could see for me would be just me travelling and doing things that excited me like extreme sports, climbing mt everest, and just generally exploring things. I know these things and life in general is completely pointless, but I just like to enjoy everything reality has to offer. I remember the first time I was unshackeled from my ego I felt very free and ran against the highest cliff I could find and just jumped straight into the water. So the question is, is there just certain people that wont function in everyday life once they are liberated, or is it just the way you get there through different techniques and preparations? From my understanding, the girl in the article didnt set it as a goal to become enlightened and it just simply became a bi product of her meditation practice.

Ok so the thread went a little of the rail road, but I think I got an understanding of it. I appreciate the in depth reflections.

@Saumaya As you did the self-inquiry, did you gradually start to feel the body become more open to the flow of energy? Did you never do any kinds of meditation? Where you in a flowstate when you did you self inqiery?

I have struggeled with tension headache for some time and I have been going to a chiropraktor. The tension headache is almost gone but I think that some muscles are tightening my meridians and the nerve system. The tension headache started when I smoked a joint and meditated. I remember that I started to feel unpleasantness and tightening in the optic nerve and following was a kind of a physical shock in the body. After that I got a pressure in my forehead. When I have tried to meditate after that, I dont get in the "zone" anymore. It is like my meditation only consists of the setteling in phase. I dont get the energysurge after 5-10 minutes of meditation and I never feel the subtle tension in the eyes. Does anybody know what muscles could be tensed up to cause this? Could it be the muscles in my eyes or could it maybe be the occipitofrontalis which manages facial expressions? Any experience with this? I used to meditate for 1 hour a day, but now I barely manage to meditate 20 minutes.

Hi. I have had this headache for quite a while now. I did not what it was, but I think I have identifyed the problem. It feels like I am crossing my eyes when meditating and I can feel the pressure in my forehead/headache change when I move my eyes around. The only problem is I just dont know how to get them neutral. I have started doing yoga eye stretches, which seems to work. What can I do when this kind of problem arises? If i start meditating with my eyes open for lets say a month and then meditating with my eyes closed, would the eyes then "reset"?

@Leo Gura closed. Havent noticed the jaw before. When I dropped it, it felt like something open up.

I am relaxing my face, jaw and eye brow region. But what happens is that sometimes one of my eyes sometimes make a subtle shift inwards to my nose. There is also sometimes that I feel tension in both eyes, but it is hard to relax them. I just tried to put my awareness on the top of the skull and neck which seemed to make the eyes more relaxed. Do you think that the eyes is what have caused my headache?

Hi. I want to take my meditation to the next level this summer and want to replace my vacation with a visit to a meditation centre. I want to learn new meditation techniques and meet people who are very experienced in meditation. I looked up Osho International meditation centre. It seemed compelling, but there was some reviews on the internet that it wasn't that great. Does anyone have other options or experience with this?

Hi. Have been meditating for about 9 months now. It has really opened my eyes up to amazing possibilities and I see the world much more clearly now. I started meditating for 20 minutes a day for about 2 months, and then I did 60 minutes a day to this day. In the start it kind of felt like the old person I was were melted away. It was remarkable. My priorities shifted and I started focusing on school and self actualization. The funny thing is I started enjoying doing it. Meditation became very important to me. What I though was weird though is that the effects of meditation suddenly disappeared. Wasn't meditation supposed to be about growth(?), I thought. I didnt stop my practice but it was hard to stay motivated. Someone told me not to cling to the results because it would just make me suffer and the meditation would not work. Is this true? Is this up and down experience common for all meditators? I had amazing effects for 6 months but the last 3 months my meditation stopped working like it used to. If it is true that it will go back up, how long time can it take for it to happen? Greetings, Cactus.

Switching meditation helped for me a bit. Went from insight to samatha and widened my focus. Actually tried walking meditation 5 minutes ago. Feeling pretty at ease right now