Lila9

I don't hear misandrist talk from other women. I often either see women seeing men as equal, overestimating generic toxic men, validly critizasing toxic behavior in men or simply complaining about men. If I see a woman rape, try to murder, or hurt in any way (psychologically, emotionally, financially, physically, etc.) an innocent man or a child because of misandry or another stupid reason, then of course I would do everything in my power to stop it. I would be very angry. Because it is wrong. Romantic rejection is painful but it doesn't count as misandry, women can be romantically rejected by men as well. Blaming women who criticize systemic abuse by men as misandry is just a way to dismiss a valid feminist critique of inequality. It is actually very narcissistic to play the victim by women, without any significant harm from women, while taking part in a system that oppresses women (which also negatively affects you, but you are too myopic to realize this).

@Ulax Men not being allies to women in the fight against systemic misogyny is a relevant point. If they have more power in society and are selfish, then why would feminists, who have less power in society, fight for a minor issue that a more powerful group suffers from that does not even have a significant negative effect on them? If misogyny is like a common disease with a major negative impact on people's lives, then misandry is not a common disease and has little impact. This is why misogyny is a systemic issue while misandry isn't. Just because something exists doesn't mean that it is a systemic issue. Many bad things exist, but not every bad thing is systemic. There are Black people who hate White people, but this is not a systemic issue. White people's lives are not systematically affected by this, they still have their human rights, privileges, and protection by the system. However, while feminists don't directly address misandry, feminists do question the narrow gender roles imposed by patriarchy on both men and women. Masculinity according to patriarchy, is defined not by what it is, but by what it is not: femininity. Men are expected by patriarchy to repress their femininity, emotions, and vulnerability and to adhere to narrow standards of masculinity, which is not sustainable for healthy human beings. Especially when it comes to building healthy relationships, even a healthy relationship with oneself. Men commit suicide not because of a random encounter with a misandrist woman, but because they don't have permission to be whole human beings who express feelings, seek help, and so on. Their shame comes from actually having feelings and a feminine side that doesn't fit patriarchal expectations of men. This is what I believe to be the case. Women are not only angry about the men who directly abused them, but also about the men who silently protect those men, ignore their misbehaviour, don't call them out, justify them, or do nothing. And it doesn't mean that they are angry at every individual male for existing. They are angry at men as a group with shared patterns. Of course there are exceptions, but most men are compliant with the system, either actively or silently, overtly or covertly, even normal and “nice” men. There is the case of Gisèle Pelicot, a French woman who was married to a seemingly normal man for many years. They were close partners. However, he drugged her for years and raped her when she was unconscious. Not only that, he invited men he contacted through the internet to rape her and filmed it. She wasn't aware of it and discovered it through the police investigation. The men who participated in her rape were all sorts of men, often married and with respected jobs, “good men.” She decided to make the trial public to raise awareness. What caused those “good” men to rape an unconscious woman? Systemic dehumanization and objectification of women, and also seeing masculinity as a form of dominance over the feminine, “feeling like a man” as they were socialized to view masculinity. Even the men who were just contacted by her husband and didn't end up going and raping her, did nothing about it. Didn't call to the police or something.

In my view it means: Acceptance of the things I cannot change or control (the past, death, permanent life circumstances, time, and some inconvenient personality traits in myself and others, imperfections of myself, other humans and life). What it does not mean in my opinion: accepting abuse and mistreatment, bypassing self-healing or improving.

1. Feminists are more concerned with fighting misogyny, because it has real consequences in their lives. 2. Men are not even good allies for women in the fight against misogyny and often dismiss it or normalize it. 3. Misandry is not a systemic issue. Misogyny is a systemic issue. The major negative effect of misandry on men is inconvenience to the ego. 4. Women don’t go and shoot men just because they are angry at them. They don’t kill men on the scale that men commit femicide, and women don’t fight for stripping men of their human rights. There are incidents of women killing men because of hatred toward men, such as Aileen Wuornos and Belle Gunness (usually rooted in sexual abuse), but it is not very common. 5. Both misogyny and misandry are wrong, but they are not an equal threat. 6. Because society is systematically and deeply misogynistic, women are more likely to have internalized misogyny than misandry. 7. Feelings like anger, rage, moral disgust, and bitterness toward men are usually symptoms of trauma, abuse, and systemic oppression rather than hatred. However, even when it does result in misandry, it is usually not a real threat.

@Judy2 I would really love for you to read this 🌹

Thank you for sharing ✨

Yes, at the end of the day, they are running a business. I know people who go to therapy and nothing changes. It is truly difficult to find a good therapist, one who is effective, has your best interests at heart, and can provide the exact guidance you need. Many are surface-level. Also, talking therapy alone isn’t always that effective. Really good therapists use more holistic methods that include the body. Luckily, I never had enough money or trust to go to therapy. I tried it once, and it didn’t feel right. You are right. We are responsible for our own healing. I’m an introvert. I look inside myself often. I do shadow work and inner-child work. When I’m alone, I’m more than fine. I also feel good with a few trusted people. Regarding the rest of humanity, I don’t feel safe around most people. I feel it in my body, something is off. I am so sensitive that if I’m stuck in a room with toxic or traumatized people, I absorb their pain and end up angry, sick, or triggered. Past wounds get reopened, and then I need to rest for a week. This is why I can’t work with most people in person, only remotely or with animals/children.

@VioletFlame Thank you ❤️

This is beautiful and inspiring. I think that people who realize they are traumatized and "give up" on healing often do so because they lack resources, can't find good therapists, and lack support (mainly emotional and financial).

Unfortunately, most people don't do trauma work. I believe that fewer than 5% of people do and that would be a really gross estimation. There is not much awareness, most people don't even realize that they are functioning from trauma. I'm sorry for what you went through, and I'm happy you healed. I am curious, what is your occupation in life? Are you a functional adult? I also went through a difficult childhood and life, including SA and lots of misunderstanding and hate from people because I am a truth-teller by nature. I have always had controversial ideas and, as a result, I receive a lot of negativity and still do. I did a lot of work to heal my trauma from humans, and at times I believe that that's it, I’m done. But then life happens, and I realize that I still have so much to do. And part of that is not because I am inherently flawed (though I'm an HSP, which many people perceive as a flaw), but because society as a system is very traumatizing. We have a responsibility to heal our pain, and it really works to some extent, but there are also systemic issues that affect us too, especially when the majority of humans in this system act from trauma and pain that isn't healed because it is even not recognized.

The Epstein case is indeed not an isolated case. This is a systemic issue (patriarchy and all the other things intertwined with it, like capitalism, imperialism, colonialism, foundalism, white supremacy, materialism, rationality, etc.). There is child abuse and trafficking of children across the globe. Children are indeed the most oppressed group of humans. Childhood is like a prison, as Teal Swan said. No wonder most adults have childhood trauma and grow up to be traumatized adults who transfer their trauma to their children, and so on, resulting in a society of traumatized people. This is not a healthy society. This is why society should be centered around children (life) and not possessions/money (death), like in the more matriarchal/egalitarian era of humans. This is why we are on the path of self-destruction. Because this system is not sustainable. It is easier to blame women and feminists for pointing out the issue rather than questioning the system’s values. This requires more brain cells. It is easier to ignore, demonize, and kill the messenger than to swallow the hard truth.

This is low-conscious, unloving, and untruthful behavior. We share the planet with other species, and we should treat them with dignity and respect. I don’t eat meat and never will. This way of treating animals is unsustainable.

This man-child behavior has a term. It’s called “Weaponized Incompetence” and it’s a form of abuse and exploitation. “Weaponized incompetence” refers to the tactic where men intentionally underperform at domestic tasks or childcare to avoid responsibility, causing their partners to take over. It is a form of inequity that creates unequal labor, resentment, and “shadow management.” While some argue it stems from poor socialization, it often manifests as a power imbalance that can lead to the end of relationships and divorce.”

Thank you! I appreciate your curiosity and open-mindedness

Hahaha this world is hijacked by delusional men. They are the real problem.

Maybe men just don’t want to listen. Maybe it’s easier to call women crazy and delusional rather than seeing them as human beings worth listening to. Maybe they act crazy because they don’t feel seen or listened to enough. He took naked pictures of her without her permission. She didn’t consent to that, and he didn’t respect it. He wanted to sell those pictures or share them in some group of nasty men. This is very violating behavior. Imagine if someone did it to you. They are not doing it because they are going to lose, but because they don’t see a point in it. Most women see men as human beings. In order to dominate and objectify someone, one has to strip the other of their humanity. This is what men do to women. Men don’t care about truth or love. They would destroy women to death if they could.

Yes, if a man does something to a woman and another man holds him accountable, it neutralizes him at the moment. Basically, the abuse thrives because of men who don’t actively abuse women but remain silent and don’t hold abusive men accountable.

Women as a collective are not interested in dominance over men. If they were, they would have committed serious crimes against men on a large scale.

Because she said so, and that is enough. Very few women do false accusations. It is not easy. Besides, this is a famous case, and when the police checked his phone, he really did have naked pictures of her.

Because we are too intelligent to seek power for the sake of it. True leadership is not about dominance but service.

Very sad and not rare, unfortunately. And then those men are praised by other men, never held accountable, and free to commit more rape, while women carry trauma and shame for their entire lives and are slut-shamed. In my country, there is a recent story of a woman whose partner took naked pictures of her without her permission, which is illegal and she went to the police to complain. Then they came to her partner to hear his story, who claimed that she was crazy and lying and that she hit him in an attempt to take his phone. It ended with the woman being arrested for attacking her partner, while they didn’t even search his phone. They automatically believed the man. Even when he actually was the one who committed the crime. Policemen hate women.

Mothers can be ruthless when they protect their children. Women can be very ruthless when they are pissed off. There are many women in prison for killing their psychopathic, abusive partners.

Women don’t choose who they birth. Patriarchy which is build on toxic masculinity reward monsters. Men collectively protect this system more than they protect women and children.

Because of whom there are wars to begin with? From whom men protect the babies?

Moving towards a more matriarchal structure is not a fantasy. It is just a matter of time. Things that today may seem impossible can be the new reality tomorrow. People in the past couldn’t imagine a reality without slavery and without human rights, but now people are taking this for granted. People also couldn’t imagine that one day we would all carry a small computer that is also a camera and calculator and many more things, which connects us to the entire world. But here we are. It all started from a fantasy, from someone who was crazy enough to imagine a better reality. You don’t have the solutions to the systematic oppression of women and femininity because you are too biased and too unloving to care.