Chives99

@Kid A there is a strong feminist culture in Scandinavian countries, guys approaching them in non places where they dont normally meet people with likely hold a view of it being too aggressive.

Because most guys act so inappropriately whilst doing it

I wonder if neuro typicals find dating easier because they're more generic and can easily relate to each other but that comes at the cost of your individuality . There's trade offs

you just make snap decisions anyway based on all the information the brain processes

@ChrisZoZo id say intuition is naturally acting without 'deciding' what to do. I mean there is no you to decide but their can be mental grasping and ruminating and gives a sense of 'deciding. control is an illusion

you just havent found the right person yet, maybe you could explore some of your interest groups and meet like minded people? what do you enjoy doing? fitness? join a running group, dance class , thats something you could join to meet people. Less intense that nightclubs and the such which isnt for a lot of people. The problem with drinking places is that theres too much diversity of people and trying to find someone you have something in common with is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Plenty of people hook up in nightclubs, but the chances of you find the love of your life in a nightclub is very small, dont envy the people engaging in shallow hookups, that isnt even fulfilling

The mind is useful for long term planning and being strategic with goals, but as you are running about your day intuition processes information at a much faster rate than the conscious mind and especially in social situations where you have to proccess so much information every second,

It doesnt change who you are as a person how much sex you've had, if you really liked someone surely you would want to work around them not being very experienced and would want to get them up to speed. I just feel its so superficial people think they are better than others because of the amount of sex they've had

I think after learning you have terminal cancer there will come a point of acceptance then surrender

Sending love and prosperity your way

It arrived, see you on the other side

Plenty of people in their 40s that have never dated it'd not just this generation, but I do think our generation is more isolated with social media, online dating , home entertainment etc which has improved our lives but there are trade offs . That doesn't have to be the case for you though it's all about seeing who you vibe with , be brazen ask her out its like schroneigers cat until u open the box u don't know if the cat is dead or alive

@BlessedLion You like what you like, When I try to date women my own age they just dont take me seriously and speak to condiscendingly , i get on much better with younger women

Sex can be an expression of love

MDMA showed me unconditional self-love, if you dont love yourself exactly as you are without the need to change anything you will never attract anyone because you have defiency mindset, ie I need something from you to be complete or good enough, instead detach yourself from approval and peoples opinions, focus on giving so you arent thinking about yourself, loving yourself and loving others is the same thing, when you feel good enough, when you see your own self- worth then you have nothing but to give to other people and they will vibe with that and thinking i can build something with this guy thats bigger than the 2 of us.

theres no rules, but learn to read body language if they feel uneasy with the duration of eye contact, this is tricky to explain because its based on intuition not logical rules I have autism but have never struggled with eye contact ive been too logical in other areas so thts been my downfall. Learn to read vibe this isnt something you can do in your head, its based on body language , tone of voice, eye contact, facial expression. When im expressing interest in a girl ill look into their eyes and have a big smile on my face, this expresses fondness. I'll give you an example a girl at work was like " I'm your favourite aren't I charlie". I leaned my head forward looked into her eyes with a smile and said " shhhhh not supposed to tell anyone.... its a secret, we dont want people getting jealous now" and gave a wink at the end. She started blushing and was romantically gazing at me. My therapist said its called the gaze its the same look babies and mothers have with each other before the baby can speak, it builds intimacy and trust as they say the eyes are the windows to the soul. So you cant formulate eye contact , you have to use your intuition and read their face for interest, if she looks away and doesnt mirror your gazing into her eyes, shes not interested but if she gets lost in yours mate thats a very big sign of interest.

@Schizophonia when you love yourself you recognise your own uniqueness and qualities and how you can use that to make other people happy (giving) , I personally love making people laugh and make people feel good about themselves, their happiness is my happiness , it makes me feel part of something much bigger , you dont get self conscious when you're not focusing on yourself so much, loving other people and loving yourself are identical as alan watts says self is other

@Schizophonia If you dont have self-love no woman will want you because you are approaching the relationship from a sense of lack ( i need to get something from her in order to be complete, to be 'good enough') , people that lack self-love are people pleasers and seek approval because they dont realise their own intrinsic self- worth . When you have self-love you are approaching the relationship from an abundance mindset that says im ' good enough' I have value, i have a lot to give, so much love and charisma and personality and humour and quirkiness or whatever your qualities are. With relationships you go to GIVE a person that loves themselves has nothing but to give, because they feel complete inside.

I think what leo is saying here is dont be harsh on yourself and track progress just have fun, find someone you vibe with, i mean yes you want to find someone attractive but if you dont vibe with them or share similar interests you arent going to have much in common apart from the desire for sex, which is no good for dating

bunch of dudes here need to work on practicing self- love . How can you be open to being vulnerable with someone if you dont love yourself, when you love yourself you dont need anything from anyone then your personality and charisma shines through. In terms of meeting a partner you need to find someone who gels with your personality, ive encountered plenty of women that i found physically attractive but i didnt gel with their personality so no point in dating them, although i wouldn't turn my nose at sex if it was on the table, but i dont think most warm blooded males would, doesnt mean i would want to date them though incompatibility issue

@Karmadhi he's a narcissist, has no respect for anyone, especially women, dupes desperate guys with his webcam business and entraps women into with his abusive business model, guy has multiple rape charges hanging over him, claims violence is always the answer and that you're not a man unless you're throwing your weight around bullying people. Guy acts like a toxic war lord,

I'm not saying they follow them but they give off that persona, you can spot them when they act like they're better than you and give no respect, a guy should be kind.

When a woman i know is all giddy and smiley and happy around me and acting very sweet, thats the perfect indicated for me to ask her out. As an autistic guy im taking a leap of faith and dropping my logical rules that ive clung to like a baby for so long and instead going for indicaters which are vibes and feelings or cues. I'm trying to blend the positives of the neurotypical and neuro diverse thinking.

I've come across plenty of andrew tate type guys in their 30's or guys with very conservative values " women must be submissive to men , its the natural order of things" yadda yaddda yadda . I've seen them on their phones copy and pasting scripts , seeing multiple women at once, mind you manipulating all these women into sleeping with them will never create a deep connection so i feel sorry thats how shallow their lives are, I would screen for them types if hes not interested in connecting with you.

@somegirl you can mix things up both drinking and social groups, it does take quite a bit of searching which is why i moved to the city, wasnt going to meet anyone being a farm boy. Be open to it as my parents said when you meet the right person it will just happen like magic, although working on yourself certainly helps a lot