Chives99

@Schizophonia Their beauty is recognised not in what you can get from them (ego) but from the divinity within them, an expression of oneness existing forever and ever

@Davino i used a jet lighter, im going to have to up my dose

ive tried it twice now with 20x from a reputable source and its being rather weak im disapointed people were telling me i was going to go to an alternate realm and loose sense of reality and being a human, i still felt very much like a human i did get the slight dsyphoria it was like a dark weed trip with the body and head high, i felt like my room was a lego house but i was still very much a human, is this just reverse tolerance at play and i will have a breakthrough?

I see you're a andrew tate wannabe that thinks being a man= being a cu**. Ok so being a clever cocky arsehole might be appealing in the confidence nature of it, but thats where the advantages ends, being an arsehole is going to cause communication problems in your relationship and your ability to authentically relate as you dont actually care about the other person. All your friends are going to be as shallow and immature as you as no mature person would want to hang out with you, its going to cause problems with your family, your coworkers and your job and in just in life in general. The women that are drawn to you wont have any self respect as mature women will want the charming confident guy who isnt an arsehole

ewww tiktok so low effort and cringey, this is not how social interaction works. You do realise you can be charming, sweet, funny and loving without being a dickhead and obnoxious.

Having a deep connection and understanding of each other, mutual trust, enjoy each others company without needing anything from them. always there for you

The main point im making here is stop caring what people think about you, society is full of judgemental biatches , live in accordance to your own values and be respectful towards other people, but at the same time put yourself out there, make a bold move, dm that person you like who gives a fuck if they dont reply, who gives a fuck if people judge you for being bold and making a move, like asking them out or messaging them or going up and striking a conversation. Its not a crime to show interest. If someone i wasnt interested in asked me out I'd say " im really am flattered but i just dont see you in that way sorry" its kind and respectful and perhaps gives them the confidence to do it again. Society will only judge you because they wished they had your courage. You put yourself on the line well done, now you can do it again. The right person is out there searching for you

no you're not the person i thought you were, i guess my black and white thinking saw you to be a kind and decent person, and never saw your petty judgemental , two faced side

This is a monologue to get everything out of my head and to look at it from a bit of distance from whatever emotions are being stirred up at the time of the thought process. I'm trying to get to the end of searching but, I'm not done yet. I'm 26 years old and I didn't really start socialising properly until i was 18 back in 2014 when i went to college and then university. The same year I discovered this channel and fell in love with it. This channel came to me when I needed it the most, when I was 17 I didn't want to live anymore I was so isolated, felt miserable constantly , had to structure to my day or vision for anything I didn't think life was inherently not worth living, but that my life was pointless I had nothing going on and no-one to talk to. I did have my family which is brought me back from taking my own life , i had no social life but a really loving family. I realised I didnt really want to die when I put a plan into motion so the option was to get on with life and try have a go at it. just before moving away for college I discovered this channel In august 2014 I was searching for something like how to socialise or something and a bald guy with a catchy title was close to the top. Leo gave great advice which i followed partially, but since my brain is too logical and self focused it can only help so much, my brain loves models, but models don't work so well with socialising as people act based on feeling not based on procedures and rules, to neurotypicals, rules are just guidelines, they will break them if is unproductive, but i need to know whats going on and whats happening next so i clung close to those procedues which would frustrate people as following the rule and impose on people and breach social cues. Luckily i found a tribe that accepted me and put up with my awkwardness. I got some sexual experience with escorts so I would know about each act when it came down to having sex not transanctionally, people may judge me for that but i did the right thing, being a virgin meant I would be out of the loop and would further alienated my ability to relate to women, I just dont delve into my sexual past when they ask ignorance is bliss as they say I certainly dont want to know whos shes been with. Another problem with autism is lack of empathy or struggling with it, with autism theres more of a self focus and you think about whats practical for you rather than how other people think and feel about the situation, its not narcissism where you think you're more important than them but, more a self focus so you misread peoples social cues about what they're really communicating or what they expect from you, my autism wasnt so bad that people totally rejected me but I understand there frustration at me. I had very little girl experience at 18, kissed a couple of girls at school and had crushes, but i never really chatted and flirted with them properly, I was mostly in my head day dreaming about the cosmos and philosophy. When I first started college a girl from our friendship group must have found me cute has she dm'd me on facebook with kissess asking what i was up to but i gave the most friendliest response I was completely oblivious. I wasn't interested in her anyway thats probably why i didn't pick up on it, I don't tend to notice unless i like them as well. I'd say I don't really get interested in a girl until she shows me interest, BUT when she does show interest my logical brain concludes 'the deal is done' and I should start making a 10 step action plan to get to know them and make it work, but thats not how it works attraction is more of a sliding scale you can gain attraction, you can loose attraction its not one or the other, so being overly concerned with the action plan made me come across as too needy as I was more focused on that than being fun and letting them fall for me, so when they lost attraction I would forget about them as they are no longer showing interest which would make them interested in me again as now I've forgotten about the action plan and gone back to my normal goofball self, but then when shes shows interest again my logical brain goes back to the action and destroys the attraction again, at this point shes not going to try another time. My brain is like LOOK LADY U EITHER LIKE ME OR NOT , DAFUQ IS GOING ON HERE" . I suppose since men like a girls looks and general vibe getting to know them isnt so much as an interest but for women it is, they want to fall in love, they want a deep connection of someone they feel really bonded to. I suppose the autistic brain being heavily self focused just is just oblivious to the females agenda and thinks of her agenda as the same as his. I had my first girlfriend at 18 which last about a month, we never had sex, she had learning difficulties as well not sure what, possibly autism, but she was on learning support at college so on a lower level than everyone else suppose its more like high school what she was doing, she couldn't make eye contact which was something I never really struggled with. At the end of the day we just weren't compatible but logical brain felt like a failure for not making it work and that it was my fault, when she backed away I thought I would be romantic and surprise visit her which just frustrated her as i was picking up on social cue that she was backing away, but my logical brain was like Ill just try a bit harder and try and do things better, I suppose you could class it as mild stalking , but that wan't my intention I was just socially cluesless and without experience. I suppose the same goes for friendships as well you either gel or you dont no about of trying to make things work or strategizing with get you a friendship, I suppose i didnt want sex and intimacy from my friends so I wasn't so bothered about that not working, I want some i gel with for a friend, but I'd try it with any woman as I had to get the experience points and be established. I feel if society didnt put so much pressure on guys to have sex this wouldn't be so much of a problem, everyone makes fun of the looser male virgin and now we have an incel crisis. I would say thats the biggest lesson I've learnt you either gel or you don't , stratergising doesnt work and if they have the hots for you and you have great convo then she will do her part as you will yours, just like how you make friends but in more of a romantic a sexual way, mother nature does all of the heavy lifting. My final issue would be unwiring unhealthy social conditioning, when I was at school the incelphere was just coming about I couldn't fathom what it would be like to be at school now with the likes of andrew tate being endlessly shared on social media with isolate individuals, its not even about how to pick up women its just pure hatred , hatred for its own sake destroy the enemy just because i'm not included in society. I grew up in the countryside and being autistic ( although I didnt get diaginosed until 21 , i never fitted in, my friends left me behind at seconadary school as that is when you start socialising properly, I hung around with a few outcast kids , but i fell out with them as they fired at me with bb guns and with autism having a greater sense of senisitvity that quite upset me where as it wouldn't so much for a neuro typical, i was embarrased that it upset me so it just withdrew completely socially at 14, and discovered reddit, i developed quite cosmopolitan and left wing views since i never fitted in, i say that is a blessing in a sense since that drew me away from the racist backwards small minded farming community that I lived in. If i was neuro- typical id be some intollerant people hating farmer , the farming community dont like anyone thats not themselves , they're very tribal in that regard , its not just hating on foreign and not white people, they also hate city and town folk for not understanding and belong to their farming culture, so I'm glad my autism saved me from that. I didn't know about autism at school I got diagnosed at 21 after a college friend mentioned he just recently got his diagnosis after his father spotted the signs, I was much more social than him, i'd put it down to my obsession with sex, you need to socialise to have sex, but I also wanted to be a part of something so i was motivated to get male friends as well. Me not understanding why i was ostracized as i didnt know about autism brought me into hate filled communities on reddit, i suspect most of them are on the spectrum as well, when you dont understand something its easy just to blame people, they aren't accepting me so they are whats at fault, I remember in the mens right subreddit when there was some clip of some quiet kid being picked on for not following a social norm people would be like "this is why mass shootings happen" this was pretty much the hive mind and its epidemic, I'm glad i got out of those echo chambers and made some real friends. I GOT A SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE

@Breakingthewall yup all went

58 is too old to be a dad you won't see him grow up

Why do you want to remarry? What's the purpose?

let go of rules and logic in regards to socialising , instead vibe and body language , harnass intution

With logic you are trying to control and manipulate and get people to do what you want, It took me a lot of years to realise this is what i was doing, i thought if i could control the situation I could make it work, but you cant tell what someones intentions are and you cant tell what the other person is thinking , you dont know what is going on for them, instead what is required is a letting go, act on intution, let people come to you, dont try to make something happen, observe body language and non verbal communication as to how you should respond to them, not logic and rules.

@Butters how about just see if u vibe with someone and then ask them out, no logic or rules , vibe is a felt thing , foreplay is so natural to me I don't even need to think about it , I love getting warmed up , maybe I'm like a woman in that regard lol but I just love getting hot and heavy

Like 200mg

would you want to get back in touch with them im really close with my family as i never fitted in with the area i grew up, its not to late to pick up the phone, be the bigger person

@Beeflamb listen to this guy, be brazen, put yourself out there, you have some good conversations that flow well with a girl, ask her out as soon as you meet her, its all about seeing who you vibe with

You aren't going to be able to get rid of your neediness over night so its something to work on, your neediness is there for a reason you've probably experienced bullying or ostracism in your past so you have a belief you have to prove yourself to be good enough, but acting like your worthless only communicates that to the other person and that you have nothing to offer, instead change the narrative "im already complete" , "theres nothing wrong with me", "i am divine perfection." When you no longer focus on yourself you have nothing left but to give, this energy is absorbed by the other person and its just so attractive, i switched the narrative now i have people pursuing me instead of me trying to get validation from them, I have adhd and autism so im very high energy and enthusiastic i dont need cocaine lol id be bouncing off the fucking walls, i also have a part time customer service job and last night i had some friends of this girl said she was telling her that he sounded like a bubbly guy on the speaker then they were teasing her saying why dont u ask for his number and she was just blushing. but i also had multiple people saying they loved my energy and had female coworkers trying to grab my attention rather than me chasing after them as i usually did, when you stop needing and wanting , you communicate you are high value and have a lot to give. The beauty of it is you dont have to change anything physical to get to this its all about changing the narrative in your mind.

online dating is useless unless you are above average in physical attraction, since 83% of communication is non verbal , pictures are literally the only thing people have to go on in online dating so your bio is literally useless it makes no difference than if u have no bio at all, not only that but men vastly out number women on online dating. Delete the apps meet people in person. meeting people in person is magical when you flirt with them and you recognise that you are both attracted to each other, its really quite beautiful .

@Sugarcoat love is the antithesis of ego

Your self worth has got nothing to do with how many people you've slept with or the relationships, even if you are a virgin it doesnt exactly take much effort to get good at it, sure you'll be clunky the first time, but you'll pick it up straight away its just instinct. What about your personality, your humour , your charisma, your intelligence, your interests, worth a million times more than a stat that everyone obsesses about, Society has everything all backwards, what if you met a great a person and then you suddenly reject them just because you aren't happy with their lack of exp, like i said it doesnt take much to learn. Im sick of western society placing so much emphasis on it. Now we have people that have no job , that dropped out of high school and no prospects thinking theyre amazing because of how many partners theyve had and shaming a succesful person for not fnding the right person. It does take a lot of searching so be patient and kind with yourself

@luqqzr heres a litmus test, if you feel comfortable with someone right away, (i call it vibing) ask them out as soon as you feel that vibe ,go for it, mother nature will do all the heavy lifting, you just have to be open to it. Neurotypicals act on feelings not rules therefore i cant tell you when or how to do it as they dont work like that,

lol why the hell do you care if they want to make themselves look pretty , your outrage sounds really bizzare, should i be mad at you if you wanted to rock a mullet, let people be themselves.

@kamill thats not the issue, its our sex obsessed society where its placed above having a genuine connection with a person and the boys club menality where you have to prove how successful you are to fit in